Most Annoying Masseur Behavior You've Experienced

[Whippoorwill]

HIghly scented lotions

[Alex93108]

I've always been worried about cameras….

[viewing ownly]

A person or two already mentioned this, but a terrible listener is maddening. I personally can't stand having my back massaged when I'm on my back, reaching in with the sheet scraping sounds. I speak up. He keeps doing it.

Up-selling but then not delivering is awful. I asked the guy when he was done why on Earth I had to give 50 more when the texted amount was agreed to. He said that the higher rate was for MY nudity, not his. 

Cancelling on me at the last minute to me is worse than no-showing my appointment, which of course is also terrible. 

Honestly it isn't possible for a masseur to be too talkative with me - I don't let them get a word in edgewise. 😆

 

[PaulM]

Masseur took out a meth pipe and started blowing clouds before he started....got up and left!

Edited March 26 by PaulM

[Rod Hagen]

Most complaints in this thread concern unprofessional behavior, yet almost no poster is willing to hire professional masseurs.

 

[d.anders]

2 hours ago, Rod Hagen said:

Most complaints in this thread concern unprofessional behavior, yet almost no poster is willing to hire professional masseurs.

That does seem strange to me. Most of the guys who advertise on the gay massage sites are not professionals. Most of the customers here seem to be looking for a HE, or more versions of sex. I don't understand why anyone would expect professional behavior from a non-professional. It's a fantasy.

[Alex93108]

6 hours ago, d.anders said:

That does seem strange to me. Most of the guys who advertise on the gay massage sites are not professionals. Most of the customers here seem to be looking for a HE, or more versions of sex. I don't understand why anyone would expect professional behavior from a non-professional. It's a fantasy.

I counter this. We are looking for professionals who can do sensual therapy. It's hard to find - but lovely when you do.

Edited March 27 by Alex93108

[d.anders]

11 hours ago, Alex93108 said:

We are looking for professionals who can do sensual therapy. It's hard to find - but lovely when you do.

This is certainly the category that I fall into. Pros who do sensual work are difficult to find, primarily because professionals risk losing their license if they are caught (reported) for doing sensual/sexual work. Training and licensing are not cheap, so I understand why many wish to play it safe. If you lose your license, you close the door on so many work opportunities. For this reason, I understand the need to read between the lines. The may be the only venue where that is possible.

[Rod Hagen]

16 hours ago, Alex93108 said:

I counter this. We are looking for professionals who can do sensual therapy. It's hard to find - but lovely when you do.

Which is why I (I know you weren't responding to my post) said "almost".  If you are searching for, and finding, professionally trained masseurs who also offer sensual and/or erotic massage, you are doing your homework. Way to go!  Even though you are likely disappointed occasionally, I have no doubt that your diligence stacks the deck/dick in your favor.

The majority of people who hire masseurs don't sound as if they are looking for credentials.  They are being led by their dicks, and then feeling bad, which is understandable, when the nonprofessional behaves nonprofessionally.  

I also blame masseurs for simply not thinking this fully through.  If you are a licensed masseur BUT you offer erotic/sensual massage, don't mention your license in your ads or to your clients who aren't yet close friends.  You are putting your license at risk, stay silent.   However, you can say that you are certified.  If you aren't specific as to which organization certified you, and you don't use your real name nor list what spas or facilities you might work at, there's really no risk (as long as your ad does not include face).  Better yet, and perfectly both vague and honest, advertise as "professionally-trained."  Problem solved.  Oh if only everyone were as smart as I am :-)

Edited March 27 by Rod Hagen

[KyleSmith4]

Tossing me a tissue or two while laying flat on my back and leaving the room to wash his hands. 

[+ nycman]

4 hours ago, KyleSmith4 said:

Tossing me a tissue or two while laying flat on my back and leaving the room to wash his hands. 

So true. Many guys (even good ones) dropped the ball on the "aftercare".

[Bluefin]

On 3/26/2024 at 11:46 AM, d.anders said:

That does seem strange to me. Most of the guys who advertise on the gay massage sites are not professionals. Most of the customers here seem to be looking for a HE, or more versions of sex. I don't understand why anyone would expect professional behavior from a non-professional. It's a fantasy.

I’ve encountered more professionally acting guys from the massage sites than not and plenty of guys who give great massages. 

There’s nothing inherently unprofessional about providing a HE is there?

[+ APPLE1]

On 3/26/2024 at 10:16 AM, Rod Hagen said:

Most complaints in this thread concern unprofessional behavior, yet almost no poster is willing to hire professional masseurs.

That has not been my experience. As someone who has hired more professional masseurs than non-professional, I have experienced most of these problems with both. I believe mastering how to deal with people, and provide good service are learned skills. Only the very basics can be taught via formal instruction, and your answer to another post better illuminates the bigger issue.

ROD HAGEN:  Oddly, often the guys who charge WAY above average aren't digging the job. And many of us who do love the work, charge average or below and always have. -  3/27/24, in forum 'Discount for in shape, good-looking and younger clients?'

No matter what job you do, you always perform the work better when you don't hate the work. I just don't envision, that typically, anyone whose sole thought process is waking up and thinking, "fuck! Rent is due. I guess I am going to have to stroke some guy today to pay the bills, " has the motivation to do the job well.

 

[Lohengrin1979]

My pet peeve is a masseur showing up smelling like his last meal. I’m sorry but I can’t relax when onion or garlic is wafting over me with every stroke.

[Capitano]

On 5/4/2023 at 4:11 PM, Beef-a-roni said:

Getting my face farted in by the masseur. 

This could be an art form, especially if performed in a dirty room in a cheap motel. As someone else said, there are people willing to pay top dollar for this. 😅

Joking aside, and in addition to many valid points others have made, I hate it when they try to move the appointment when I am already in the car on my way to see them. If you don't agree, you risk getting a subpar experience because of the bad vibe. If you agree, you just wasted some time you could have used otherwise.

This is another reason I avoid masseur couples who push 4-handed massages. I don't want one, and I know they may cancel if someone who wants it comes along, and the least they'll do is to try to move my appointment.

Edited March 28 by Capitano

[BigNoiseDallas]

33 minutes ago, Capitano said:

This could be an art form, especially if performed in a dirty room in a cheap motel. As someone else said, there are people willing to pay top dollar for this. 😅

Joking aside, and in addition to many valid points others have made, I hate it when they try to move the appointment when I am already in the car on my way to see them. If you don't agree, you risk getting a subpar experience because of the bad vibe. If you agree, you just wasted some time you could have used otherwise.

This is another reason I avoid masseur couples who push 4-handed massages. I don't want one, and I know they may cancel if someone who wants it comes along, and the least they'll do is to try to move my appointment.

Found a local guy I saw twice. Great massage, nice extras. The day before or the day of the first appointment, he moved me back by 30 minutes or an hour so that he could go to breakfast with his boyfriend; he delayed my second appointment by 15 minutes because he was finishing a late breakfast with the boyfriend. For the second appointment, I was on time but had to wait in my SUV. If you're not respectful of my time, don't expect me to schedule with you again.

[d.anders]

18 hours ago, Rod Hagen said:

If you are a licensed masseur BUT you offer erotic/sensual massage, don't mention your license in your ads or to your clients who aren't yet close friends.

This is smart advice, but, as a serious customer seeking therapeutic + nudity + intimate touch, I'm crying. When I communicate and ask about a license, if the provider doesn't say yes in some obvious manner, I won't book. I fully understand and respect the risk. I had credentials in my own job that needed to be protected, and I didn't always play by the rules. I disagreed with some of the rules, so I needed to be discreet. In my communication, I always state that I'm not looking for sex, but my truth doesn't mean my first-time email can or should be treated like a trusted friend. This dance is depressing.

12 hours ago, Bluefin said:

I’ve encountered more professionally acting guys from the massage sites than not and plenty of guys who give great massages. 

Actors are more inclined to do damage. I once had an "actor" masseur who nearly put me in the hospital, and the trauma left some scars. Many people think massage is nothing more serious than taking a nap. Training doesn't matter. They are wrong. Of course, if you're just looking for sex, than having someone oil you up and pretend to massage with fake Swedish strokes, then perhaps no big deal.

Edited March 28 by d.anders

[BeefyDude]

On 4/18/2023 at 10:24 PM, Simon Suraci said:

It seldom happens, but I have to admit once in a while my wifi connection has a little blip and the playlist ends after a song instead of continuing to play through the list. I have to start playing another list because going back and finding the right song and pressing play will take way too much time versus a few seconds playing another fresh list. 30 seconds of your masseur NOT working on you without any music feels like an eternity, much less a full minute, so I’m very sensitive to that. When it happens that odd time, in my head sirens and lights are flashing while I try not to panic as I quickly remedy the situation.

My music plays on Amazon speakers and they are utterly dependent on a constant, stable wifi connection. I can’t control the wifi connection. I apologize on behalf of others in the same boat. Depending on your masseur’s setup, it oftentimes is not his fault, it’s out of his control.

Quick note on Bluetooth. This is another (arguably) more stable option, but for surround sound multiple speakers work best, and linking through wifi seems to be the best way to do that without wiring directly to one or more devices. I’m open to suggestions.

My building has a fire alarm system. Again, it rarely happens, but a couple times a year a false alarm starts from somewhere else in the building and I have to end the massage. It’s really frustrating. Again, not under my control, at least not until I move. Still annoying though, for both client and masseur.

speaking of music, pick appropriate music.  One guy had quite loud Hip Hop music.  Not disrespecting the music, but NOT appropriate for a massage. He had to step out of the room.  I ran over and turned the volume down.  When he came back he cranked it up.

Yes that is partially on me for not saying something. BUT (always a but) a good masseur would ask if the music (temp lighting etc) is ok before proceeding and throughout the massage - IMHO

[d.anders]

11 hours ago, APPLE1 said:

As someone who has hired more professional masseurs than non-professional, I have experienced most of these problems with both.

Just wanted to say, I have decades of pro-massage experience (in a spa, but mostly my home) and most of the issues in this thread are alien to me.

11 hours ago, APPLE1 said:

ROD HAGEN:  Oddly, often the guys who charge WAY above average aren't digging the job. And many of us who do love the work, charge average or below and always have. -  3/27/24, in forum 'Discount for in shape, good-looking and younger clients?'

No matter what job you do, you always perform the work better when you don't hate the work. I just don't envision, that typically, anyone whose sole thought process is waking up and thinking, "fuck! Rent is due. I guess I am going to have to stroke some guy today to pay the bills, " has the motivation to do the job well.

Behavior may not be "typical," but provider mood can make a difference, and people's moods can change on dime.

Generally speaking, I agree with Rod Hagen, people who love their job are oftentimes not motivated by money. OTOH, I once knew a talented masseur who did not enjoy the work. He basically did not like people. He got into massage at an early age, thinking it might be easy money. He eventually raised his prices because he needed the money to motivate him. He's still doing massage, and now limits his customers to no more than two a day. A lot of people in America would like to earn $600 a day.

[BJNYC]

Masseurs expecting the same tip when they don’t provide a similar experience to the one they have offered before.   If you go above and beyond, the tip reflects that. 

[Marc in Calif]

3 hours ago, BeefyDude said:

BUT (always a but) a good masseur would ask if the music (temp lighting etc) is ok before proceeding and throughout the massage 

And a great masseur asks what type of music you'd prefer, as well as how much light you'd like. 👍

[Simon Suraci]

3 hours ago, Marc in Calif said:

And a great masseur asks what type of music you'd prefer, as well as how much light you'd like. 👍

I validate your points here. Some clients have particular preferences, but most of them don’t. My suggestion: take the initiative to tell your masseur about your preferences upfront. If not in your booking process then shortly after you arrive. The pros will adjust on a dime, at least for any item over which they have control. We can’t read your mind though. Communicate. Don’t like my music? Just say so and I’ll change it!

Aside on lighting. I have two skylights in my studio. I have no option to dim the light from those during the day. I otherwise have only dim mood lighting and I turn on my dimmable recessed ceiling lights to a medium to low level before the massage to make it easy to see and move around, dress/undress and again after the client has had a chance to slowly adjust after their massage. I keep the dimmable lights off during the massage, leaving only a couple table lamps with dark color shades and mood lights. It’s particularly nice at night.

In my experience, the vast majority of clients don’t like making a lot of decisions upon arrival. When I ask too many questions, they tend to get annoyed, antsy, or indecisive. A lot of them have NO preference for any of the items I might mention. They enjoy some brief small talk to connect as they undress and then quickly want to get on the table and feel totally relaxed and ready to enjoy some good therapy. Sometimes I slow them down with a big hug first. I could ask a dozen questions like:

Which room scent do you prefer?

How much pressure?

How much light?

What music do you enjoy?

How is the volume level?

Can I adjust the headrest for you?

Would you like a bolster?

How about a pillow?

Would you like me to be more conversational, or quiet?

Do you have any injuries, sensitivities, or areas you want me to avoid?

Are you ok with your feet being massaged? What about your head? (These are the most common requests to avoid on the body)

Blah, blah, blah…but I don’t. The inquisition could go on and on. And you know what? The default preselected options I already provide for all these items works really well for 95% of everyone seeing me. They either like it as-is, or have no preference anyway. So I just saved some time and client frustration for the 95% by preselecting everything. I don’t even have to ask. The other 5% who have very particular preferences tell me at the beginning, or somewhere along the way, and I adjust. Sometimes it’s after the fact and I just shake my head and say they should have said something. Then I add it to my notes so I will have everything adjusted ahead of time for their next visit.

Much of my approach is about reading the client along the way. For example, if the client seems uncomfortable with the headrest, I will ask about it and offer to adjust. The client sniffles repeatedly, so I offer tissues which I keep close right under the table plus a small trash can. The client responds physically to my pressure in a way that prompts me to ask if the pressure is ok. The client is sensitive when I touch around his underarms or feet or whatever so I ask if he wants me to avoid it. I ask if it’s ok to touch them in an erotic way. I notice a limited range of motion when I bend the knee and ask if it’s ok to continue. I notice the client goes quiet so I stop asking him questions and chatting. The client expresses pleasure when I touch him in a certain way, or a certain area; verbally, with their breath intensity and pace, moans, and the like. Conversely the client winces or tenses up and I ask them about it to make sure they are comfortable and see what I need to change, if anything. I could go on…

Basically I read my clients to prompt my questions and maybe that leads to one or two questions rather than a dozen for every client every time before we start. It saves us both time and energy up top. I like to ask just two general questions of every client:

1) Is there anything about your body I should know before we start?

2) (about 10 mins into the session) How is everything feeling?

The rest comes up by reading the client. 

[Marc in Calif]

4 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Don’t like my music? Just say so and I’ll change it!

Starting with music that the masseur likes might inhibit the client from asking to change it. After all, it's your music, right?

Hence my suggestion that reflects what my favorite masseurs do: Ask the client first about his preferred style and volume of music. It empowers him.

It also encourages them to subsequently be upfront with other aspects of the massage: "A little less pressure on my back, please" -- before you even ask about the pressure.

 

Edited March 29 by Marc in Calif

[Monarchy79]

Interruptions. 

A while back, I had a masseur who kept stopping, going to get the massage product, having to pee, then sipping on water. He didn’t understand that a massage is supposed to be a full flow….. 
 

[Monarchy79]

15 hours ago, BeefyDude said:

speaking of music, pick appropriate music.  One guy had quite loud Hip Hop music.  Not disrespecting the music, but NOT appropriate for a massage. He had to step out of the room.  I ran over and turned the volume down.  When he came back he cranked it up.

Yes that is partially on me for not saying something. BUT (always a but) a good masseur would ask if the music (temp lighting etc) is ok before proceeding and throughout the massage - IMHO

There are some genres of music I believe should never be played during a massage… rap music is one of them. Add rock, heavy metal, techno and any form of “club” music to the mix of music “no-nos”