Most Annoying Masseur Behavior You've Experienced

[BigNoiseDallas]

3 hours ago, Cari said:

Checking their cell phone

only using one hand

lazily rubbing the same one area

being too chatty

not keeping their hygiene in check

bragging about how good they are and how lucky you are to have experienced their hands 😐

also as much as I love animals, having your dog or cat in the room during the session is pretty annoying

Their partner being in the next room watching tv or talking on the phone loudly or making a bunch of noise in the kitchen

The Chatty Cathy types annoy me. There was one traveling masseur that I booked twice on his trip through Dallas; he was chatty the first time, so I gave him a pass -- and he was exactly the same on the second visit. And it was even chatting about ME, the client, it was all about him. No thanks.

[MuscleDaddyRWC]

On 5/2/2023 at 10:17 PM, NyGold said:

Masseurs offering erotic or sensual who take offense if you indicate you want something more …? 

 

 

 

l wish there was more of a standard for Sensual & Erotic. 

Is Sensual a happy ending or just sensual stroking and teasing?

Is Erotic a happy ending or some sort of penetration? 

[Beef-a-roni]

Getting my face farted in by the masseur. 

[BigNoiseDallas]

7 hours ago, BigNoiseDallas said:

The Chatty Cathy types annoy me. There was one traveling masseur that I booked twice on his trip through Dallas; he was chatty the first time, so I gave him a pass -- and he was exactly the same on the second visit. And it was even chatting about ME, the client, it was all about him. No thanks.

Augh. I meant to say that I booked him twice on separate trips through Dallas -- not on one trip. And all the chatting WASN'T about me, it was all about him. My proofreading skills are lacking today!

[Patrocles]

Asking if I want release right after asking me to turn over, especially if there had been no sensual elements leading up to it. No, I would like you to give me the rest of the massage that I am paying you for.

[pubic_assistance]

23 hours ago, Patrocles said:

Asking if I want release right after asking me to turn over, especially if there had been no sensual elements leading up to it. No, I would like you to give me the rest of the massage that I am paying you for.

Ugh.

yes !

Nothing more annoying that rolling over, and having someone jerk me off when I'm not even HARD !

* read the room buddy *

[FrancisCA]

On 5/4/2023 at 1:11 PM, Beef-a-roni said:

Getting my face farted in by the masseur. 

Some would pay good money for that tbh

[JayinHKNYC]

I read most of these responses a few weeks ago, and I don't know if anyone mentioned this one, but twice I had masseurs sweating all over me. I've been OK with some sweat when there is vigorous massage going on. But in these two cases, the environment was cool - Quebec City and San Francisco - and the sweat felt cold and clammy. Both times, I almost ended the session early as it became too big of a distraction.

I'm prone to excessive sweating so I had sympathy for both men, but it still did not feel very good.

 

[Exploritor]

Advertising sensual/erotic to get your attention, then stating therapeutic-only when you initially contact them.  I'm not looking for an escort experience anyway, but more a good massage that slips a bit into mildly inappropriate.  But if it's not even going that far, don't advertise that it goes way beyond my tame little hopes.

Have had one who gave a great massage, but got progressively chatty, more political, and more conspiratorial as he continued, while having no idea what my views were.

[Jamie21]

On 5/4/2023 at 9:11 PM, Beef-a-roni said:

Getting my face farted in by the masseur. 

I’ve had a client do that to me! He was about to be rimmed…but then that happened and I decided probably best not to rim him. 

[Guest]

Massaging using one hand and texting and looking at the phone with the other.  Laying down behind or beside me and massaging the same part over and over again slowly.  Asking to be paid up front knowing that likely means it's going to be a bad massage and you won't get what you expected.  

[Michael PhD]

Scheduling a sensual massage that moves into the erotic realm and being asked to keep quiet and a reference to the significant other being in the other room and not wanting them to hear or find out about what happened. I know some find that hot but not my thing and don’t pay for drama. 

[+ azdr0710]

On 5/4/2023 at 7:13 PM, BigNoiseDallas said:

And all the chatting WASN'T about me, it was all about him.

your avatar and comment beg for this classic.....

 

[BigNoiseDallas]

9 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

your avatar and comment beg for this classic.....

 

Thank you, I love her. 

[bryanlaw]

On 4/18/2023 at 7:59 AM, calstrin said:

"who's your favorite this year?"  and i said i don't watch drag race, and his response "you don't watch drag race!  you have to watch it to support the community!  i can't believe you're not watching it!"  and it was clear that he wasn't just surprised that i don't watch drag race, but kind of pissed off about it.

he has a point though, it is the main bonding point of our community so get with it. sounds like a miserable experience for other reasons though. i don't mind if they talk alot i prefer to know more about them. but the music, who even cares i don't want to hear them talka bout music

[bryanlaw]

On 6/27/2023 at 4:21 PM, Guest said:

Asking to be paid up front knowing that likely means it's going to be a bad massage and you won't get what you expected.  

is the alternative to withhold payment if you didn't like the service? i assume i am paying them for their time regardless of quality

[Bluefin]

1. One handed distracted massaging - we aren’t dumb we know you’re texting.

2. Disappearing for longer than a couple of min without an explanation first.

3. Dirty home.

4. Music streaming that isn’t ad free - come on.

5. Too much chatter - light conversation at the beginning and end is great! Your whole life story in the middle kills the vibe.

 

[JamesB]

1.- Checking his phone during the massage.

2.- Up sales during the massage. I’m ok with offering extras BUT do it during the set up stage or before the massage starts. Not during it!.

3.- Bad breath / body odor or unkept studio / bathroom.

4.- Shortening the session time. 

5.- Background music with ads.

6.- Talking non stop.

[Jamie21]

I once booked a massage with a masseur at his home, without checking much into his set up or professionalism. I was young and naive, and this was before I actually joined the profession myself (call it my research years).

I turned up at the address given. It seemed ok. The masseur answered the door (I’d seen no pics of him, only a description and an outline of his services). He didn’t match the description but I was too scared to walk away…so I went in. He was very friendly, indeed he was delighted to see me. 

I’ve written in more detail about it before so I won’t relay the whole story but the following behaviour occurred:

- Using his loft (attic), a windowless cramped space accessed from the bathroom by a pull down loft ladder as his massage space. It didn’t quite have the right ambiance.

- Letting me know, mid massage, that his wife would be home soon and I wasn’t to worry because she couldn’t get up the ladder…

- Talking almost all the way through about how he wasn’t really gay but he liked massaging guys whilst he was naked. 

The massage was mediocre, the ending wasn’t very happy and his wife called up from the bottom of the loft ladder if I’d like a cup of tea. 

I didn’t return to him. The tea was too weak. 
 

 

 

 

[Figueroa7778]

1) checking your phone

2) disclosing info about clients who reviewed you

3) advertising you are manly but are effeminate in person (nothing against the latter, just truth in advertising)

4) unkempt place with prescription medications all over 

5) asking to be paid upfront (deposits included)

6) cameras ...

** have encountered specific masseurs and escorts for each of the scenarios above LOL

[BigNoiseDallas]

4 hours ago, Bluefin said:

1. One handed distracted massaging - we aren’t dumb we know you’re texting.

2. Disappearing for longer than a couple of min without an explanation first.

3. Dirty home.

4. Music streaming that isn’t ad free - come on.

5. Too much chatter - light conversation at the beginning and end is great! Your whole life story in the middle kills the vibe.

 

Yes to #3! I saw a great masseur a couple of times, but his house was cluttered and messy -- his living space and the massage space. By the second time I saw him, he had moved in with his boyfriend -- and their upstairs bathroom -- the only one upstairs -- didn't have a door. That was a bridge too far for me. Plus he changed my appointment for the first massage (turns out he wanted to go to breakfast with his BF), then kept me waiting for about 15 minutes on the second session (I was on time). If you're not respectful of my time, I will not see you again.

[Boaxxx]

On 4/18/2023 at 2:28 PM, Njguy2 said:

Have experienced the massage with one hand and checking the phone with the other but not recently.

Actually taking a call during a session was the one that was the worst.  A guy who I had several sessions with before (Battery Park City NYC) back in the mid 2000's.  He was talented and was trained gave a good massage and stretching session and typically provided a nice ending.  On the last visit - the session started as normal, about 10 to 15 minutes into the session his phone started ringing he ignored it and it would ring again (repeat), he apologized and took the call.  Conversation ensued and then some strong language back and forth on the phone and said he had to go give something to a friend in the lobby (from what I overhead sounded sketchy) about 10 minutes wasted here taking the call and his redressing.  He left and about what seemed 20 minutes or so he returns.  During the interim I was ready to just get dressed and leave.  He came back and then continued with the session.  Session finished and paid, even left a tip (albeit half of what I'd normally leave).  Departed and in the cab ride back to my apt my phone starts ringing and he's calling me to say I didn't tip him enough, and that I need to come back and give him more money. Things went back and forth about the payment and I told him he wasn't going to get any more money and I just ended the call.  He started calling again, went to voice mail etc, then the text messages continued his tirade, so to end this circus I just blocked him.   I think he left the massage business not too long thereafter.  

Totally unprofessional and annoying. How can anyone expect a tip after an incident like that? And then to go so far as to contact you, hound you, for a tip.

Others may feel differently but I rarely tip. If the provider wants to make $250 - $300 an hour then charge $250 - $300 an hour. Don't charge $200 and then expect a $50 or $100 tip. If the service is truly exceptional, then I will give a tip showing my gratitude and appreciation for the great service. Otherwise I pay the agreed upon rate.

Edited March 25 by Boaxxx

[+ APPLE1]

On 4/18/2023 at 9:59 AM, calstrin said:

 

i had a massage recently where the masseur WOULD NOT SHUT UP.  he was unbelievably chatty from start to finish, talking super-fast and not taking a breath.  never had a massage experience like that before.  he talked about what tv shows he was watching; his night out at last week at the bar; his various hookups with porn stars; recent changes to his diet; concerts he was going to; etc.  none of this could be classified as friendly conversation, this was just him with the 'on' switch flipped.

for every song that came up on his playlist during the massage he would be like "omg, i totally love her!  what's your favorite betty who song?"  and then he would be discernibly annoyed when i would mumble something like "sorry, i have never heard of 'betty who' and i don't know any of her songs".  a similar thing happened when he brought up drag race.  "who's your favorite this year?"  and i said i don't watch drag race, and his response "you don't watch drag race!  you have to watch it to support the community!  i can't believe you're not watching it!"  and it was clear that he wasn't just surprised that i don't watch drag race, but kind of pissed off about it.

the whole experience was this horrible, nonstop firehose of words.  every once in a while he would say something like "ok i need to shut up now." and then about five seconds later he would start again.  definitely for me the most annoying massage ever.  couldn't wait to get out of there.

My stock response to a provider's chatter about popular TV, bars, RESTAURANTS, etc is to quietly and meekly express that I can't afford those things. It usually ends most chatter 👍. And hey, if it blows a little smoke up their ass, and they envision I walk the streets recycling bottles just so I can can make an appointment with THEM, I am fine with that.

[dcguy20]

The use of baby oil, which is why I now always ask what they'll be using. 

Club music or vocals. I'd rather hear nothing.

[MikeThomas]

The use of greasy oils and creams.  The stuff you can’t scrub off no matter how hard you try.