Bathhouse Etiquette

[TorontoDrew]

I met with a provider at a local bathouse last week and had the weirdest thing happen.

We had the door closed and locked as I was not sharing.  We were fairly loud, flesh slapping against flesh, moans of pleasure and lots of vocal encouragement.   Suddenly there was a knock at the door.  I loudly said we weren't interested but they didn't stop.  So we stopped, I opened the door and politely said that we weren't interested.  They went away.

We got back to business and a few minutes later there was more knocking on the door.  We tried to ignore it but they wouldn't go away.  The provider answered this time and told him we weren't interested.  They guy accept that and tried to push his way into the room.  Nick got him out the door and got it shut.

We got back to it immediately and fortunately it didn't happen again.  We still had a great time but it was kind of weird.

The previous time I met Nick there I had someone try to follow me into my room and I had to put a hand on his chest and firmly tell him that I wasn't interested.

Its been a few years since i spent much time at a bathouse.  Is this a common occurrence?  I thought the etiquette was that you left the door open if interested in company and even then you could say you aren't interested.

[DWnyc]

Non consensual behavior is not the norm and shouldn’t be tolerated. Sounds like an outlier. 

 

[+ Axiom2001]

Since that acutely rude behavior has happened to you and your provider on two occasions, next time POST an 8 X 11 sign on the door that reads 

"PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB!"  "If we wanted company, you would have been invited."  "We are serious!"  (three vertical lines)

Ring the front desk and tell the individual who's "manning" it to come to where your room is located and ward off the SOB who desires to participate in all of that hot, steamy fun!

[Jamie21]

Occasionally I’ll be asked by a client if I’ll accompany them to a sauna (bathhouse) but I usually decline because I prefer not to see clients there for that reason. People just aren’t respectful if you want to be in a private room alone.

I don’t mind if they want to watch, in fact that’s usually the reason a client wants to do a sauna visit, so that they can be watched with me, but it usually ends up with someone watching and then thinking they can become involved. Then they get upset when told they can only watch. 

I had one guy watching me with a client one time who tried 3 times to join in with us. We were in a private room and it had a viewing window but the door didn’t lock. The guy was watching us through the window and he decided he wanted to join in. After he’d come in and been told ‘no’ the third time my client told him that he’d booked me for the session and it was pointless trying to join in because I was only going to play with the client. All he could do was watch us.

The guy got really angry and then threatened to tell the management that I was charging and that we would both be chucked out. Luckily, either he didn’t tell or they just didn’t believe him because nothing happened. 
 

[DMICS]

3 hours ago, TorontoDrew said:

I met with a provider at a local bathouse last week and had the weirdest thing happen.

We had the door closed and locked as I was not sharing.  We were fairly loud, flesh slapping against flesh, moans of pleasure and lots of vocal encouragement.   Suddenly there was a knock at the door.  I loudly said we weren't interested but they didn't stop.  So we stopped, I opened the door and politely said that we weren't interested.  They went away.

We got back to business and a few minutes later there was more knocking on the door.  We tried to ignore it but they wouldn't go away.  The provider answered this time and told him we weren't interested.  They guy accept that and tried to push his way into the room.  Nick got him out the door and got it shut.

We got back to it immediately and fortunately it didn't happen again.  We still had a great time but it was kind of weird.

The previous time I met Nick there I had someone try to follow me into my room and I had to put a hand on his chest and firmly tell him that I wasn't interested.

Its been a few years since i spent much time at a bathouse.  Is this a common occurrence?  I thought the etiquette was that you left the door open if interested in company and even then you could say you aren't interested.

Considering it's Toronto, I have to say I'm not shocked. I find the "trolls" here whether it's cruising, sex clubs or bathhouses to be on another level. Sadly there's a certain group of aggressive "trolls" that don't take no for an answer and can completely ruin your moment. You're correct about the etiquette, that's how it should be. 

I'm guessing you're referring to Nick Kross? we were trying to connect for a session and he also suggested a bathouse but I politely declined for the exact experience you've been through. With my luck the "trolls" would ruin my session. 

[+ robear]

No means no.  I'm not inclined to be confrontational IRL, but have never had a problem pushing back as firmly as necessary in a sexual situation when unwanted advances weren't satisfied with a polite decline.

One thing about bath houses, and to an extent any kind of group sex event, is that people are not always on good behavior.  When everybody ELSE seems to be having sex, the little head starts to overrule the big head, and often alcohol or drugs are in the mix, clouding judgement.

[DWnyc]

1 hour ago, Jamie21 said:

Occasionally I’ll be asked by a client if I’ll accompany them to a sauna (bathhouse) but I usually decline because I prefer not to see clients there for that reason. People just aren’t respectful if you want to be in a private room alone.

I don’t mind if they want to watch, in fact that’s usually the reason a client wants to do a sauna visit, so that they can be watched with me, but it usually ends up with someone watching and then thinking they can become involved. Then they get upset when told they can only watch. 

I had one guy watching me with a client one time who tried 3 times to join in with us. We were in a private room and it had a viewing window but the door didn’t lock. The guy was watching us through the window and he decided he wanted to join in. After he’d come in and been told ‘no’ the third time my client told him that he’d booked me for the session and it was pointless trying to join in because I was only going to play with the client. All he could do was watch us.

The guy got really angry and then threatened to tell the management that I was charging and that we would both be chucked out. Luckily, either he didn’t tell or they just didn’t believe him because nothing happened. 
 

He may have been a known irritant. These places are often full of them and management knows to ignore as much as needed to keep the peace.

[DWnyc]

47 minutes ago, DMICS said:

we were trying to connect for a session and he also suggested a bathouse but I politely declined for the exact experience you've been through. With my luck the "trolls" would ruin my session. 

Providers have often suggested meeting somewhere like this when neither of us can host or wish to pay for a hotel. I’ve always declined as it seems rather bizarre to be going the premium route in a place like that. 

On the rare occasions I’ve ventured inside I’ve seen faces familiar from the websites and I often wonder are the providers there just to relax and meet people “off the clock” or is it a place of business. Maybe both, just like on online dating apps. No judgement, just an observation. 

[TorontoDrew]

1 hour ago, DMICS said:

I'm guessing you're referring to Nick Kross? we were trying to connect for a session and he also suggested a bathouse but I politely declined for the exact experience you've been through. With my luck the "trolls" would ruin my session. 

That's him.  It didn't ruin the session.  I just found it strange.  It was definitely still worth it.  That boy has stamina.  I think he'll be hosting a little bit in the near future.

[TorontoDrew]

If I ever go again I'll be a lot more forceful in sending them away.

[DMICS]

2 hours ago, DWnyc said:

Providers have often suggested meeting somewhere like this when neither of us can host or wish to pay for a hotel. 

 

Yeah, in my situation I had family in town for a week so I couldn't host. Was going to do a hotel but our schedules were off. 

 

1 hour ago, TorontoDrew said:

That's him.  It didn't ruin the session.  I just found it strange.  It was definitely still worth it.  That boy has stamina.  I think he'll be hosting a little bit in the near future.

 

Yeah Nick looks amazing. I'll definitely be booking him in the near future.

[+ Pensant]

That’s why I’ve never been to a bath house. I only do one-on-ones at my place or at my hotel. I need to control the environment.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Sometimes, you've got to channel your inner New Yorker at a bath.

There's nothing like a well-placed I'm not fucking interested to get someone to back off.

Sure, it breaks the mood a little when it gets to that point, but it gets the point across quickly.

COVID has overall made manners almost non-existent in public places.  You either ignore it if you can or you call bullshit.

 

[+ nycman]

3 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

Sometimes, you've got to channel your inner New Yorker…

You rang?

But yes, sometimes you just have to be a dick.
Unfortunately it’s the only language some men understand.

”Touch me again and I’ll break your fucking wrist"

"Unless you want a broken nose, get your fucking hands off my boyfriend"

"If I see your face again, I’ll break it".

I’ve said all of the above to men who pushed the boundaries after 
polite requests to back off were ignored. Fair warning, you better be 
prepared to back up your tough talk. But again, it’s the only language
some men understand.

And yes, the fact that @BenjaminNicholas has an inner New Yorker,
makes me want to fuck him even more. What’s yer fucking point?!?!

[DMICS]

4 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

COVID has overall made manners almost non-existent in public places.  You either ignore it if you can or you call bullshit.

 

This.

No manners, no empathy post-pandemic.

[+ Lucky]

On 4/5/2023 at 6:36 AM, Pensant said:

That’s why I’ve never been to a bath house.

Never ever, or just for hiring purposes? Bathhouses used to be so much fun. I am glad I didn't miss out on them.

[+ Pensant]

22 hours ago, Lucky said:

Never ever, or just for hiring purposes? Bathhouses used to be so much fun. I am glad I didn't miss out on them.

Never ever have I.

[pubic_assistance]

On 4/6/2023 at 10:48 AM, Lucky said:

Bathhouses used to be so much fun. I am glad I didn't miss out on them.

Same for me. I lived in LA for a year when I was 20.

I must have fucked half of Hollywood at one of those bathhouses.  Lots of actors on-the-DL. Some quite famous now.

I remember one night, there was an incredibly hot crowd.  I was there for at least six hours and came so many times I lost track.

[IamAdamRose]

No way in hell would i go with a client to a bathhouse 🤢🤢…. & nothing against bathhouses, i just dont think i’d wanna be seen with a client there

[LookingAround]

8 hours ago, IamAdamRose said:

No way in hell would i go with a client to a bathhouse 🤢🤢…. & nothing against bathhouses, i just dont think i’d wanna be seen with a client there

Why?

[Jamie21]

10 hours ago, IamAdamRose said:

No way in hell would i go with a client to a bathhouse 🤢🤢…. & nothing against bathhouses, i just dont think i’d wanna be seen with a client there

I don’t care about being seen with a client. It’s only happened once as far as I’m aware. I was in the jacuzzi with the client who booked me when the guy who recognised me got in and started chatting. It was quite awkward because my client was already anxious about going (he’d only been to a sauna once before and had been ignored). Also I didn’t want to embarrass my client by telling the guy who saw me what the ‘arrangement’ was but turns out he guessed because he later texted me to ask if the guy I was with was a client. Somehow we must have given off those vibes! 

 

[IamAdamRose]

14 hours ago, LookingAround said:

Why?

I have my reasons but its not hard to figure out why I wouldn’t wanna be seen with one in that particular environment 

[LookingAround]

Because you’re so beautiful and your clients are not?

[Rudynate]

Several years ago, I went to the Steamworks in Berkeley. This was on a weekday during the day.   The place was jammed and everybody seemed very forward, not to the extent of pushing their way into a room where they weren't wanted, but these were all men who were definitely there to get laid.  I loved it, one of the best times I've ever had at a bathhouse.