Unprofessionalism

[+ APPLE1]

3 minutes ago, Jaroslav said:

What if it takes 70 minutes? 

In my experience, that's one of the many advantages of hiring repeats - - - he gives the extra 10 mins to keep your business!

[Guest]

18 minutes ago, Jaroslav said:

...I’m giving the OP or the escort a pass here. Both were clearly in effective communicators, or at least lacking standard decorum.

I also don’t know that I’d say too busy for an hour is a lie....

I tried reading that first sentence 3 times, and I don't understand what you're trying to say. I suspect English may not be your first language. My suggestion is to use Google Translate, which I use frequently when writing letters, etc., even in languages with which I'm fluent. And, yes, I think it's obvious to everyone that the "too busy for an hour" statement was a bold-faced lie. In my opinion, it's so ridiculous it's insulting. 

[+ APPLE1]

1 hour ago, Unicorn said:

I tried reading that first sentence 3 times, and I don't understand what you're trying to say. I suspect English may not be your first language. My suggestion is to use Google Translate, which I use frequently when writing letters, etc., even in languages with which I'm fluent. And, yes, I think it's obvious to everyone that the "too busy for an hour" statement was a bold-faced lie. In my opinion, it's so ridiculous it's insulting. 

Reading for context leads me to believe there were typos, and it should have started out "... giving the OP AND the escort a pass here. Both were clearly INeffective communicators..."

[Simon Suraci]

Wow, what a lively discussion topic! Better communication on both sides would certainly help. If a provider is going to respond at all, he can do the polite thing and explain his minimum session length is X for Y dollars. He did, but in a very blunt way. In this case, I can see why a provider wouldn’t be bothered to respond at all to an off putting request like this, especially if they are in high demand.

The industry by and large just doesn’t work the way this client wants. Exceptions on minimum one hour appointments (and good reasons for why that is) are already noted in the thread, but those are exactly that - exceptions. I don’t really care if the client is lying. Bargaining behavior, intentional or otherwise, is a huge red flag. Same thing with begging, asking for pity, inviting the provider into the client’s personal drama, and so on.

Still, a good provider will take the high road and give a clear, firm, if not polite, response. I’m not perfectly patient or polite 100% of the time, but I try my best to be professional, straightforward, and courteous…even to a client I’m quite positive I will never see, based on their approach. Sometimes they don’t like the answer. Tough.

Clients are paying for experiences, not time. It’s a bit different for massage than escorting, but the concept is the same. If it’s a bad experience that lasted the agreed upon time, the client is still not happy, but they must pay the agreed upon fee. If it’s a good experience and the client decides they want to wrap up early, that’s fine! They still pay the agreed upon fee.

The time is more about having boundaries. I watch the clock to manage my time so that I can honor the next client booked right afterward, or any other commitment I have. If I have no hard commitments right after the session and going longer is actually giving more value to the client, I don’t mind going over. I’d rather give the client maximum value and therefore maximum reason to return, refer, review, or tip.

By the way, I offer 30 min massages, but they are not full body. People book them here and there. I have a college student client who can’t afford much but loves to see me. He books 30 mins to fit his budget. I massage him and during the session I coach him on techniques to curb his premature ejaculation issues.

[+ APPLE1]

So when the discussion took segways into 'is it time or an experience,' I thought I knew the answer. But, I kept reading, and as it turns out, I was wrong.  

There are obviously folks who seem to want to shoot their load and leave, and then their are folks who want to spend their remaining "time" touching, kissing, cuddling, shooting another load, etc. Paying attention to what a client communicates prior to meeting as well as the cues, subtle or otherwise, that client displays during the meeting are on the provider to pay attention to. While I am certainly not saying thay all cues are unmistakable, I certainly believe jumping up and getting dressed after I shoot my load, and asking the provider about remaining time after I shoot, are 2 very different, yet obvious, cues about how I expect  the end to go.  

For me, the ability to read those cues is the difference between a provider who has developed that skill set and one who has not. A provider I tip well and want to engage again, and a provider who I don't. 

[Guest]

2 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

....

Whenever I see your name, I think of the song by Rufus Wainright.

 

Whenever my formerly Russian ex and I would say the word tonight, we'd sing:

               iiii     iiii

         iiiiii              iiiii

tonii             iiii           iiiiiii

                                          iiiiii        iiiiight

                                                  iiiiii    

[Jaroslav]

8 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Clients are paying for experiences, not time.

 

Finally! Someone who’s honest! 

[Jaroslav]

10 hours ago, APPLE1 said:

In my experience, that's one of the many advantages of hiring repeats - - - he gives the extra 10 mins to keep your business!

I posed the question because, well, it’s not about the time! Except when it is.

My experience has been it’s not about the time with escorts that care about the service. Again – it goes back to mutual respect.

[mike carey]

15 hours ago, Unicorn said:

I tried reading that first sentence 3 times, and I don't understand what you're trying to say. I suspect English may not be your first language. My suggestion is to use Google Translate, which I use frequently when writing letters, etc., even in languages with which I'm fluent. And, yes, I think it's obvious to everyone that the "too busy for an hour" statement was a bold-faced lie. In my opinion, it's so ridiculous it's insulting. 

Imagine for a moment that your conclusion that English is not his first language is incorrect. That perhaps it was typos that made what he typed less clear. Your comment is insulting and unworthy of you.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, mike carey said:

Imagine for a moment that your conclusion that English is not his first language is incorrect. That perhaps it was typos that made what he typed less clear. Your comment is insulting and unworthy of you.

Actually, I thought I was being kind and generous in making the assumption that those nonsensical sentences were written by someone for whom English wasn't the first language. On the Gay Guides board, another poster also criticized a somewhat (not quite as) illegible posting, and I added my hint regarding the google translate and was thanked privately by the foreign poster (who said English was his 3rd language). However, since you want to keep this in public, yes, I can think of one or two other reasons that someone might write a post so full of typos that one has to guess the meaning. 

Edited March 30, 2023 by Unicorn

[DWnyc]

English is kind of not my first language.

On a typical day I exchange emails, texts and conversations with many people for whom it is.

No comment on rating relative communication abilities just based on first language definition  

[DWnyc]

22 hours ago, APPLE1 said:

In my experience, that's one of the many advantages of hiring repeats - - - he gives the extra 10 mins to keep your business!

Or short changes you because he can get away with it … 😊

[TruHart1]

Over a period of nearly ten years of hiring, I have always found that the escorts I hired understood if I hired them for an hour or two it was about the time spent in their company. Most of these professionals never asked for money upfront either. But after the pandemic I hired three escorts (separately) who not only required the fees upfront but who believed they were finished whenever they made me ejaculate.

In one case I explained that I’d paid for an hour and expected him to complete the hour talking and cuddling. That man did get back into bed but was so angered by it that he nearly refused to talk to me at all, grunting one syllable answers to my questions! One young Latino “kid” required the fee upfront, got me off quite quickly and then acted like he could not understand my English when I tried to explain about me paying for his time and NOT the acts which made me orgasm!

Finally, the third guy (a man who said he was only nineteen!) required his payment upfront AND after he got me off, told me that he’d NEVER experienced a client who required any time after they finished. He was so hot and exciting sexually that I believed him because he’d turned me on so much that I lost some of my control and he had me coming in less than twenty minutes!

The common factor here is that these three were all so much younger than I usually hire, so it’s somewhat a case of my little head taking precedence over my big head! Anyway, I think I’ll definitely be hiring escorts who are at least thirty from now on!!!

TruHart1 😎

[Jaroslav]

@TruHart1, that’s why I want to have a telephone call before booking. And if the escort wants to book a hiring date before we’ve each sent three texts, he’s likely uninterested in providing anything more than cumming and going. Some guys want that. I do not. Like escorts can sense a time waster, I can sense someone out to use me. 

[Guest]

9 hours ago, TruHart1 said:

...But after the pandemic I hired three escorts (separately) who not only required the fees upfront but who believed they were finished whenever they made me ejaculate...

Yes, when the escorts ask for the money upfront, that's a bad sign. I usually bail at that point, though I haven't had any ask for the money upfront in a long time. Asking for the money upfront is a real sign of unprofessionalism in my view. I rarely need an hour, but like to cuddle afterward. During my last hire's cuddle time, I found out he was an attorney in Colombia! He also learned something. He's now staying in an apartment near the bottom entrance of Runyon Canyon Park, and was unaware of the park! I told him of the park, and 3 days later, he added a photo to his RM profile showing himself shirtless on top of the western summit of the park (highest point in the park). 

Edited March 31, 2023 by Unicorn

[Jamie21]

If my client cums ‘early’ then I consider it my role to help him cum again! 

When I was learning massage I did a swap session with an older guy who was happy to pass on all he’d learned. The session started about 6pm and we were together until after midnight. We exchanged massages and shared ideas and techniques, each of us reaching climax multiple times.

I’d say there’s no reason why someone should want to leave after climax unless they’re in a hurry or they simply aren’t into their provider or they have some guilt about the session. I see that happen sometimes with clients, they cum and then they feel a sense of shame, and want to leave, which is really unfortunate and it makes me sad for them. 

[TruHart1]

I definitely should have seen the red flags for the 19 year old escort: we set the appointment for the next day, and he not only texted me later that evening, asking if I still intended to see him the next day, but texted me the day of, twice, wanting reassurance that I still planned on keeping our appointment!

One other quite unprofessional thing - he remained totally soft during our entire session, so after I had continually attempted to manually and orally rectify that, and I finished, he explained that he had done a cam show where he blew a load immediately prior to my arrival! In addition, he also upcharged me another $50 for him to French kiss!

Live and learn!!!

TruHart1 😎

Edited March 31, 2023 by TruHart1

[+ purplekow]

In regard to this issue, it seems that it takes very little to get each of the participants to explode.  So a thirty minute session may have been appropriate.

However, I think the OP could have been more informative in his initial posts and that may have avoided the abrupt reaction of the escort.  I would bet that the escort has had clients who came quickly and then tried to bargain down the price.  So this might explain what was a clear and definite "no" to the 30 minutes turning into a toxic exchange.

So as to the escort believing the session is over once the client orgasms, I am strongly in the one hour is one hour school of thought.  I can sometimes come twice in an hour and if I believe that is going to be the case, I usually will try to have my first orgasm early in the encounter and then at the end of the encounter.  If that second coming,  appropriate for Easter Sunday post, requires time over the hour, I will either tip well or ask if there is an additional fee for the time.   That being said, I usually will let the escort know that my intention is to possibly go for two, so that the expectation I have is well known to him.  If it is clear to me, as is the case on occasion, that the best laid men's plan was more mouse than elephant, and that there will be no encore, I will take my bow and exit as the music ends.   Toward that end, many escorts I have been with have a set musical entertainment set which lasts a bit under an hour to keep them aware of the clock without having to watch it.   

Similarly, if the escort comes and I have not, my expectation is that he will continue for the hour, until I have come as well.  

Edited April 9, 2023 by purplekow

[Jaroslav]

I’ve bitten my tongue in other threads on this topic but this thread seems alive again. Since reading the indignation of some in this thread over never hearing of a session less than an hour, I’ve read both clients and providers write about it here, speaking on another topic. So it’s very much something folks in this place are aware of and have done. Now, some here may not have read those topics, or if they did, they didn’t pick up on it. Either way – settle yourselves. Less than an hour isn’t crazy or unheard of. It’s even come up in supporting details in conversation here! 

[Luv2play]

On 3/26/2023 at 10:50 PM, RadioRob said:

You asked if he had a 30 minute rate and he quoted 300. He clearly did not. 

At that point, you should have simply moved on if that’s what you wanted.  My personal stance is that I don’t negotiate pricing. If they give me a rate I don’t like I simply say thanks anyway and move on. 

Also moved this to the Lounge as it’s more of a general discussion rather than info about a specific person, etc. 

The op said "sorry man" in response to the providers stating his rate was $300 to the initial query about a 30 minute  rate. It was the provider who then came back with the snarky remark about 10 minutes for $60 which was totally uncalled for imo.

I've never asked for anything less than a one hour rate myself. What I have asked for is an extension of a half hour to an hour session if we are having a good time and I don't want it to end right away at the 1 hour mark. But that's a different issue I recognize. 

[Marc in Calif]

On 3/29/2023 at 6:27 PM, Unicorn said:

I tried reading that first sentence 3 times, and I don't understand what you're trying to say. I suspect English may not be your first language....

...Actually, I thought I was being kind and generous in making the assumption that those nonsensical sentences were written by someone for whom English wasn't the first language. 

Along with, apparently, at least one other commenter, I tried reading the following sentence three times without knowing what all of it meant — including the dangling phrase at the end. So is English actually your first language? 

On 3/28/2023 at 10:17 AM, Unicorn said:

However, the potential customer really ramped up the rudeness, adding some BS story about being too busy at work to add to the insult.

You even had to explain what you meant by the word "insult," which itself was at the wrong place in the sentence.  

Writing clearly and unambiguously is always the goal of good writers — whatever their "first" language. 🤓

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Marc in Calif said:

Along with, apparently, at least one other commenter, I tried reading the following sentence three times without knowing what all of it meant — including the dangling phrase at the end. So is English actually your first language? 

You even had to explain what you meant by the word "insult," which itself was at the wrong place in the sentence.  

Writing clearly and unambiguously is always the goal of good writers — whatever their "first" language. 🤓

My posting was perfectly clear. I have my faults, but at least being a liar isn't one of them. 😃

Edited April 10, 2023 by Unicorn

[Marc in Calif]

11 hours ago, Unicorn said:

My posting was perfectly clear. I have my faults, but at least being a liar isn't one of them. 

It was not "perfectly clear" at all. You had to explain it after you posted it.

And who called you a liar?

Edited April 10, 2023 by Marc in Calif

[Guest]

4 hours ago, Marc in Calif said:

It was not "perfectly clear" at all. You had to explain it after you posted it.

And who called you a liar?

[Cooper]

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