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Would you meet a client (or even a hookup/escort) who doesn’t give their phone number?


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Idk what’s up with this bizarre trend lately: if you thought burner numbers were bad, there’s people out here who actually have the audacity to want to meet without a phone number. One (someone who’s probably unhinged) even claimed “if I was legit, I wouldn’t be asking for his number”. This seems especially rampant in smaller town/markets. But in larger cities it seems just as common.

I get it that some want gay/transactional sex to be anonymous/discrete, but when meeting someone from online: this seems a really suspicious way to go about meeting. Anytime someone doesn’t want to give a number: 99% of time is up to no good. Even if it isn’t something sinister like murder: it could be as simple as someone who wants to do exactly like I said in another thread: doesn’t finish the sex, and wants to cut the session 2 minutes into it. The “buffet samplers” I call them. Or likely to stiff/short on the pay. Such horrid personalities.

Whatever the case, it’s never a good sign and I wish dudes would stop acting so paranoid about exchanging numbers 🤦🏽‍♂️ 

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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Maybe they’re a public figure who wants to be very discreet. Maybe they’re just paranoid about the sex worker contacting them on the number. Or maybe they have had a bad experience from sharing their number previously and want to avoid it. It is irritating but there could be legitimate reasons without them being a flake or some weirdo. 

I get clients booking by email or even Twitter DM. Most of the email bookings come via the contact form on my website so actually I’m inviting them to do it like that. In reply I suggest to them it’s easier to communicate by text / WhatsApp or call if they have questions etc but some just prefer the extra distance an email provides and they keep it all to email. Indeed there is a public figure who books me via email and he won’t share his number despite him visiting regularly. 

I think the signs about whether they’re a flake or not are evident regardless of the form of the contact though. Most of the flakes do actually contact with their number (because usually they like the thrill of the ‘sex chat’ and sending pics etc) and that’s fine because I can just add their number to the time wasters list. 

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Posted (edited)
53 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

Maybe they’re a public figure who wants to be very discreet. Maybe they’re just paranoid about the sex worker contacting them on the number. Or maybe they have had a bad experience from sharing their number previously and want to avoid it. It is irritating but there could be legitimate reasons without them being a flake or some weirdo. 

I get clients booking by email or even Twitter DM. Most of the email bookings come via the contact form on my website so actually I’m inviting them to do it like that. In reply I suggest to them it’s easier to communicate by text / WhatsApp or call if they have questions etc but some just prefer the extra distance an email provides and they keep it all to email. Indeed there is a public figure who books me via email and he won’t share his number despite him visiting regularly. 

I think the signs about whether they’re a flake or not are evident regardless of the form of the contact though. Most of the flakes do actually contact with their number (because usually they like the thrill of the ‘sex chat’ and sending pics etc) and that’s fine because I can just add their number to the time wasters list. 

I suppose that could all be supportive reasons, but I can’t think of any time recently I’ve met someone without a number: and actually had anything good come out of it. I even did it last month against my intuition, and regretted it.

Then some like to say, “I only give out my number when we meet”. 
 

My thing is: if a person can’t make effort enough to give a number to someone they are intending to meet…not just “chatting with”, but actually intend to meet: it shows right off the bat they aren’t being trustworthy.

One guy was like: “I’m on my way, what’s your room number?” after chatting a bit. So: that person can’t give me a phone number, but you want my room number. Tell me how does that work lol. It doesn’t

 

I think what gets me the most: there’s a mentality of mistrust that seems to almost be expected, going around. Granted: this isn’t happening so much on Rentmen/RentMasseur because my credentials are extensive. But moreso on sites that don’t allow me to post my website or don’t have review option.

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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Unfortunately there’s rather too many dilettante providers working in the industry. They pop up, play at it, mess people around and then find that it’s all rather too difficult and they then disappear. It’s no wonder some clients are wary. I hope clients can tell the difference between the amateurs and the professionals. You can trust guys who are doing things properly- those with a track record, website, recommendations, professional pics on their adverts etc. It’s safe to give them your number. 

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When we were planning to go to Montreal, we found an escort who we thought was a great fit for us. I contacted him over RM messenger and we chatted. It seemed like a great match. A couple of days before our trip, I messaged him with my phone number and asked for his. He didn't respond. 

Then last week (three weeks after we'd returned), he wrote me to say that he hadn't been checking his RM messages and was very sorry. My guess is for him escorting is a side hustle, which isn't uncommon. But it was annoying to have no other way to reach out to him. 

So, no, I wouldn't plan to meet someone without a phone number. And while I'm fairly anonymous on here, I'm not in my profession. So having my phone number would lead you pretty quickly right to me. Personally and politically I'm an outspoken ally of sex workers and believe in decriminalization, etc., so if it came up, I'm prepared to defend it, but it could be costly. 

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12 hours ago, 7829V said:

As a client, I've met several masseurs without exchanging phone numbers.

Same here.  I only do my initial contact with a provider through RM messenger.  I send a lengthy initial message indicating what I'm looking for and asking a series of 4-5 initial questions.  If the provider chooses not to respond, it's all good.  If I get one of those auto-replies about texting, I ignore it.  I'd say 90% of the time the provider does respond pretty timely - many pretty instantly.  Now when the time comes to meet (I always plan in advance), I will share my number then only if the provider asks for it.  I'd really rather not but by that point I'm ready for action so don't want any delays...lol.  I'd say though I met 1/3 or more of my providers without ever exchanging numbers - all done and arranged through RM. 

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After some introductory messages on RM, when I’ve decided to meet, I politely suggest we have a call since hearing one another’s voices always is a prudent move before the meet. 100% of providers have agreed to this. I do use a burner app, however. My real number is reserved for a select few.

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Posted (edited)
On 6/11/2022 at 7:59 PM, jeezifonly said:


The purpose of that post was moreso about not having the number accessible publicly, so that only clients who have read the ads/booked ahead can contact. Not necessarily a case where after exchanging email/IMs, the person wanted to meet without exchanging numbers.

But I have figured out a balance to that: I will alternate keeping my number up when I'm local versus traveling. Each Which requires different levels of accessibility.

On 6/11/2022 at 9:05 PM, 7829V said:

As a client, I've met several masseurs without exchanging phone numbers.

Why do you need a phone number if all you will do is text? You can text via an app/website/email. 

I couldn't tell you when the last time I've met a client without a phone number. Actually: probably never. When you say you've met several masseurs without a phone number, I can imagine they probably approach the biz in a way that obscures whatever other lifestyle they may have going on. 

For me, it's usually just an indicator of how the person might be. Less likely to give a number has usually meant more likely to be a jerk. And I've had the experiences enough to know. Either they won't be there upon arrival, or won't show up. Or they will be there..but either send you away or show up, and walk away. 

In all cases for me, it's just been some freaky weirdo shit. Which is why I don't do it. I even almost met a (cute/freebie) guy in a "park" situation last week, just to be a bit adventurous. But the guy wouldn't give me his number. Something was feeling very off (like he couldn't just meet face to face beforehand and was trying to play a fantasy). He was almost to the destination, when I decided to bail and get out. 

It's not about just being able to text on any platform. It's about why does someone feel the need to communicate on a platform where it's easy to just press block, without a trace: versus having some sort of connected outlet to use. To me, that imply a person has something to hide or is a catfish...and I just won't do it. 

 

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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Posted (edited)
On 6/12/2022 at 9:52 AM, bobsboy51 said:

Same here.  I only do my initial contact with a provider through RM messenger.  I send a lengthy initial message indicating what I'm looking for and asking a series of 4-5 initial questions.  If the provider chooses not to respond, it's all good.  If I get one of those auto-replies about texting, I ignore it.  I'd say 90% of the time the provider does respond pretty timely - many pretty instantly.  Now when the time comes to meet (I always plan in advance), I will share my number then only if the provider asks for it.  I'd really rather not but by that point I'm ready for action so don't want any delays...lol.  I'd say though I met 1/3 or more of my providers without ever exchanging numbers - all done and arranged through RM. 

It’s also good to remember that the RM instant message Is still relatively new for many. Also, advertisers have the option to turn off instant message requests all together: And it’s been mentioned here by other providers that it’s not conducive to spend too much time responding to IMs.

I think it all comes down to being flexible on boundaries and different ways of communication/working to a degree. Sometimes, there has to be a compromise to make things work. I think some clients expect us to do things the way they want it to be done, but in reality: It’s up to the person running their biz. RentMen instant messenger is simply an option for contact.

In trying to figure out ways to hold my boundaries and still accommodate clients: I do use the IM feature, but I have an auto reply up that covers at least the stuff that isn’t on my profile (like rates).

Even though you don’t seem phased about a provider not responding or having an auto reply up (and subsequently ignoring it), it implies an indifference towards those who may have boundaries that don’t involve  communicating on the IM platform.

Why would some not want to communicate on the platform? Because despite the convenience, it is similar to hookup app approach. Some people may be okay with that, but the RentMen instant messages aren’t consistent enough to carry that on. I can go from having 0 replies all day, maybe even days in a row. To having 5 replies in a day: All while you’re trying to drive in traffic and get to the next appointment. The sensible solution for some: put a informative auto reply. that way one can engage, without always being engaged.

Edited by Jarrod_Uncut
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6 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I think it all comes down to being flexible on boundaries and different ways of communication/working to a degree. Sometimes, there has to be a compromise to make things work. I think some clients expect us to do things the way they want it to be done, but in reality: It’s up to the person running their biz. RentMen instant messenger is simply an option for contact.

 

God bless the escort who states their preferred method of contact in the body of their profile.

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On 6/14/2022 at 10:58 AM, Boink said:

God bless the escort who states their preferred method of contact in the body of their profile.

Bless the person contacting the escort, to actually read the ad as well. Because it doesn’t seem like everybody does. 
 

Seems like many just look at pictures, then scroll to number. Haven’t read a goddamn, MFing thing.  

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22 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Bless the person contacting the escort, to actually read the ad as well. Because it doesn’t seem like everybody does. 
 

Seems like many just look at pictures, then scroll to number. Haven’t read a goddamn, MFing thing.  

As a client, I do read the ads, but almost every ad is essentially a carbon copy of the next. It’s seems every guy essentially offers everything and promises the client’s pleasure is his biggest pleasure. I like to know what distinguishes BigDomDixXXL from RippedMSCLGod before I hire. When the writeup is essentially the same, you have to inquire if you care about that. Of course some guys don’t care. 

Edited by FewBricksShy
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12 minutes ago, FewBricksShy said:

As a client, I do read the ads, but almost every ad is essentially a carbon copy of the next. It’s seems every guy essentially offers everything and promises the client’s pleasure is his biggest pleasure. I like to know what distinguishes BigDomDixXXL from RippedMSCLGod before I hire. When the writeup is essentially the same, you have to inquire if you care about that. Of course some guys don’t care. 

That’s the best way to go about it…

I try to make my ad more informative versus just talking about myself like I’ve noticed in many ads. I can sell you the world, but basic things like advanced/same day notice, who can host, etc. are all things that need to be sorted. Much easier to discuss prior to the session…

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On 6/15/2022 at 12:58 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Seems like many just look at pictures, then scroll to number. Haven’t read a goddamn, MFing thing.  

And that's the immediate blessing of deleting messages that make it clear he's not paying any attention.

Same goes for those who send an obvious, sloppy cut-and-paste email.

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9 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

And that's the immediate blessing of deleting messages that make it clear he's not paying any attention.

Same goes for those who send an obvious, sloppy cut-and-paste email.

Right…

But just one thing: I would vouch it’s not an issue if a provider has a pre-written template though, right?

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11 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Right…

But just one thing: I would vouch it’s not an issue if a provider has a pre-written template though, right?

A pre-writ template can be a thing of beauty and a great time-saver.

However, done wrong and it comes across as mechanized and impersonal.

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On 6/10/2022 at 1:06 AM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Idk what’s up with this bizarre trend lately: if you thought burner numbers were bad, there’s people out here who actually have the audacity to want to meet without a phone number. One (someone who’s probably unhinged) even claimed “if I was legit, I wouldn’t be asking for his number”. This seems especially rampant in smaller town/markets. But in larger cities it seems just as common.

I get it that some want gay/transactional sex to be anonymous/discrete, but when meeting someone from online: this seems a really suspicious way to go about meeting. Anytime someone doesn’t want to give a number: 99% of time is up to no good. Even if it isn’t something sinister like murder: it could be as simple as someone who wants to do exactly like I said in another thread: doesn’t finish the sex, and wants to cut the session 2 minutes into it. The “buffet samplers” I call them. Or likely to stiff/short on the pay. Such horrid personalities.

Whatever the case, it’s never a good sign and I wish dudes would stop acting so paranoid about exchanging numbers 🤦🏽‍♂️ 

I'm not a provider but I am a service professional.   My answering service is instructed not to give an appointment to any lead who is not willing to provide complete contact information.  It cuts WAY down on tire kickers, price shoppers and time wasters.  Then additional screening questions increase the possibility that the person calling is a quality lead.

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On 6/16/2022 at 5:48 PM, FewBricksShy said:

As a client, I do read the ads, but almost every ad is essentially a carbon copy of the next. It’s seems every guy essentially offers everything and promises the client’s pleasure is his biggest pleasure. I like to know what distinguishes BigDomDixXXL from RippedMSCLGod before I hire. When the writeup is essentially the same, you have to inquire if you care about that. Of course some guys don’t care. 

BigDomDixXXL is obviously a bottom who doesn’t remove his jock, and RippedMSCLGod last visited the gym in 1973. You just need to read between the lines. 

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