Would you meet a client (or even a hookup/escort) who doesn’t give their phone number?

[FewBricksShy]

It’s easy enough to get an app to protect your actual number…It seems to me if you’re going to fuck, you should be willing to share sone sort of phone number. Are you going to fuck with a bag over your head too?

[+ RJD]

25 minutes ago, FewBricksShy said:

It’s easy enough to get an app to protect your actual number…It seems to me if you’re going to fuck, you should be willing to share sone sort of phone number. Are you going to fuck with a bag over your head too?

Yeah, but there was a recent thread on this sub-forum where burner numbers were discussed and a few providers consider potential clients who use them to be "time wasters," which is ironic since every provider I know and have hired uses either a burner app or a dedicated work phone to protect their privacy. 🤷‍♂️

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/134989-burner-numbers/#comments

[Kevin Slater]

1 minute ago, RJD said:

Yeah, but there was a recent thread on this sub-forum where burner numbers were discussed and a few providers consider potential clients who use them to be "time wasters," which is ironic since every provider I know and have hired uses either a burner app or a dedicated work phone to protect their privacy. 🤷‍♂️

https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/134989-burner-numbers/#comments

I believe the providers bitching in that thread don't use burner numbers.

Kevin Slater

[FewBricksShy]

I don’t think client or provider using burner numbers is bad. I have a separate phone for work and the rest of life. That seems pretty normal to me. The bigger issue is if you won’t provide any number. If a provider somehow figures out a guy is using a burner and won’t meet for that reason he’s probably not a good fit otherwise either. 

[+ RJD]

25 minutes ago, Kevin Slater said:

I believe the providers bitching in that thread don't use burner numbers.

Kevin Slater

Which is why I said, 

29 minutes ago, RJD said:

every provider I know and have hired

 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

14 hours ago, FewBricksShy said:

It’s easy enough to get an app to protect your actual number…It seems to me if you’re going to fuck, you should be willing to share sone sort of phone number. Are you going to fuck with a bag over your head too?

The usual excuses: “I’m partnered, married, etc.” in a case like that then yeah, by all means use a burner number versus non at all. Just be prepared to come with additional verification. 

 

Edited June 22, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Guest]

13 hours ago, RJD said:

Yeah, but there was a recent thread on this sub-forum where burner numbers were discussed and a few providers consider potential clients who use them to be "time wasters," 🤷‍♂️

I feel silly for even getting drawn into this, but what was said was more along the lines of "clients who use them are much more likely to be time wasters than clients who use their personal numbers". 

If you're not a time waster, you've got nothing to be defensive about. 

[FewBricksShy]

My experience has been a phone app sends messages and does calls much the same way as a regular phone. I don’t understand the problem either way. A time waster could just as easily use their regular phone number too. I also have had providers who are using iPhones who are largely unresponsive or unhelpful too. And I’ve had escorts say they were sorry for a late response because they’re using an app, suggesting they have notifications or whatever turned off. Either way, I just think whatever method anyone uses to communicate folks should be decent. I don’t think it’s unreasonable for someone, escort or client, to use a burner if that’s what they feel most comfortable with for whatever reason. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

On 6/21/2022 at 7:58 AM, FewBricksShy said:

Are you going to fuck with a bag over your head too?

That isn't always necessarily a negative.

[+ RJD]

13 hours ago, Dante said:

I feel silly for even getting drawn into this, but what was said was more along the lines of "clients who use them are much more likely to be time wasters than clients who use their personal numbers". 

If you're not a time waster, you've got nothing to be defensive about. 

Your comment in that thread conveyed that sentiment and was tempered.   However, the most vocal opponent of clients using a burner app/phone in that thread didn’t and made his position clear before even engaging with the potential client.  There was no “likely.”
 

Personally, I don’t use a burner app or number, but there are legitimate, understandable reasons for both client and provider to use one.  It seems counterintuitive to automatically assume a potential client using a burner app/number is a time waster and summarily dismiss him. 

[italianboyph]

I mean I get it people wanna be discreet and I'm okay with that. I've met tons of clients who've messaged me on RM and we go from there and keep it on RM. I always suggest swapping numbers, because it's just easier to communicate as I'm not on the site all the time, and don't get notifications. 

[Jamie21]

4 hours ago, italianboyph said:

I mean I get it people wanna be discreet and I'm okay with that. I've met tons of clients who've messaged me on RM and we go from there and keep it on RM. I always suggest swapping numbers, because it's just easier to communicate as I'm not on the site all the time, and don't get notifications. 

This is my view too. Tends to be that someone who is an arse behaves like an arse regardless of the medium they use to contact me… and there’s loads of ways clients use to contact me: text, phone call (from withheld numbers sometimes), WhatsApp, Telegram (the App not the message service stop), Twitter DM, email, message on Rentmasseur, occasionally on hookup apps (though I don’t advertise there?), and even occasionally by message on this website (and of course those people are delightful, which is in keeping with the vibe on here I think).

I was even approached to book a session in the street one time (by a regular who happened to see me…I wasn’t walking around with an advert on my back). 

Everyone is different, the trouble comes when you try to put people into boxes to assume their motives. I try not to do that but it isn’t easy. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Everyone is different, the trouble comes when you try to put people into boxes to assume their motives. I try not to do that but it isn’t easy. 

Sometimes it’s not about putting people in boxes though. For me it’s moreso about experience. Nothing good has come from a person who doesn’t give a number before meeting. Either the sex sucks and they approach like it’s a buffet, or lousy communicators, or they don’t show up, or they do a “look and go”. 
 

Even if it’s nothing “bad”, I may just not like their approach. By not giving a number, it shows upfront a bit of unbalance (you have my number number and pics, but I don’t have yours). That’s not even how I want to start a meet. 

That’s also why I’m not huge on bathhouse sex because, I’m not big on the idea of fucking someone; often bareback…with no way of contacting at a later time. Atleast with a number someone can contact me and say, “hey I’ve tested positive for…”

Edited June 23, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[FewBricksShy]

3 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Everyone is different, the trouble comes when you try to put people into boxes to assume their motives. I try not to do that but it isn’t easy. 

100%

[FewBricksShy]

@Jarrod_Uncut, you’re one of the escorts who chooses to your phone. Not all do. It seems a blanket expectation for all clients and all escorts to use a “real” number doesn’t keep jerks or communication problems from cropping up. I know for my own self that I’ve had communication issues with escorts in every medium. Your choice is fine as far as real numbers for your business. But it just limits who you’ll see, and it might be an unnecessary limit. You can’t expect everyone to behave according to the rules for yourself anymore than others can tell you what to do. Everyone can choose for themselves what works best. If not using a real number is a no go for you, then some clients just won’t be meeting with you. And you won’t get their business. But that’s just the nature of things. I find it fascinating how strongly some seem to feel about this! 

[Jamie21]

19 minutes ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Either the sex sucks and they approach like it’s a buffet, or lousy communicators, or they don’t show up, or they do a “look and go”. 

Maybe….but they’re paying so it’s kind of their experience that matters more than yours? That’s my view anyway. If they pay my rate and are respectful that’s enough for me, I’m not expecting great sex, insightful chat or clients who unquestionably accept my agenda. If that happens it’s great but it’s not why I do it. 

If they want a buffet massage they’ll get a buffet massage. If they want me to fuck them 28 minutes into the massage and then cum on their left ass cheek then ok I’ll do my best …but I’ll suggest it’s better to go with the flow however if they insist then that’s cool. 

It’s kind of easy to get blasé about sex if it’s your work but I can understand that for me the encounter might be like a normal day but for my client it might be the highlight of their year. I think if they are turned on by the session and happy then so am I. Indeed it’s a turn on to see a client enjoying themselves, a kind of positive feedback loop. That’s why I do it. 

[FewBricksShy]

@Jamie21, if I may be so bold, it sounds like you’re saying it’s the escort’s responsibility to service and provide the pleasure for the client, yes? The needs and desires of the client are what matter to you, as long as it’s reasonable. You agree to provide a service and the client pays for it? 

[Jamie21]

Yes that’s what I’m saying. If I really didn’t enjoy seeing the clients though, I wouldn’t carry on doing the work. I don’t do it because I have to, I do it because I want to, and because the client is paying then my focus is on their enjoyment. 

[FewBricksShy]

21 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

I really didn’t enjoy seeing the clients though, I wouldn’t carry on doing the work.

I think that’s the key point. You enjoy the work. Glad you do! I can always tell when an escort is actually enjoying the time. It makes it even better for me! 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

22 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Maybe….but they’re paying so it’s kind of their experience that matters more than yours? That’s my view anyway. If they pay my rate and are respectful that’s enough for me, I’m not expecting great sex, insightful chat or clients who unquestionably accept my agenda. If that happens it’s great but it’s not why I do it. 

If they want a buffet massage they’ll get a buffet massage. If they want me to fuck them 28 minutes into the massage and then cum on their left ass cheek then ok I’ll do my best …but I’ll suggest it’s better to go with the flow however if they insist then that’s cool. 

It’s kind of easy to get blasé about sex if it’s your work but I can understand that for me the encounter might be like a normal day but for my client it might be the highlight of their year. I think if they are turned on by the session and happy then so am I. Indeed it’s a turn on to see a client enjoying themselves, a kind of positive feedback loop. That’s why I do it. 

By buffet, I meant “sampling tray”. And in that context I don’t specifically only mention clients (as I implied in this thread it extends broader than that, e.g. hookup etc). Like I said elsewhere, I met someone (non-client) without a number on a hookup site the other month (all the while my intuition was saying don’t do it, don’t do it, tell him to turn around and go home when he arrives if he can’t text me). He basically came over, did some lousy, rough foreply stuff and then got dressed after 10 minutes. Neither one of us getting off. It’s stuff like that which is the “red flag” of not wanting to exchange numbers.

 

I think you’re taking things a little beyond the purpose of this post is discussing. All what you’re saying is +1 and great, but I’m talking moreso from a legitimate/safety aspect versus a client satisfaction point of view. Also I understand you’re coming from a different place, different country. Likely different attitudes towards the industry. Here in U.S., screening is just a common sense thing to do, AND…

by not exchanging numbers, that lessens the chances of being able to screen them for reports.

 

Edited June 24, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut

[Jamie21]

Yes it’s a different perspective here. I do screen clients but not to the extent you do. Probably a big reason it’s different here is that sex work is legal. If I get a client who refuses to pay or is abusive I can call the police. You can’t. That’s a big difference. 

[FewBricksShy]

Correct me if I misunderstood, but are we suggesting that if a guy shows up but decides upon arrival he’s not interested, for whatever reason, he should still pay, or somehow otherwise be held accountable? How is that different than an escort who decides upon meeting that they aren’t interested? I feel like either party has the right to terminate at any stage of the game.

[NJF]

3 hours ago, FewBricksShy said:

Correct me if I misunderstood, but are we suggesting that if a guy shows up but decides upon arrival he’s not interested, for whatever reason, he should still pay, or somehow otherwise be held accountable? How is that different than an escort who decides upon meeting that they aren’t interested? I feel like either party has the right to terminate at any stage of the game.

Isn’t that an example of time wasting not only for the escort, but also yourself?

Edited June 24, 2022 by NJF

[FewBricksShy]

Potentially if that’s your goal. But a guy should show up and feel uncomfortable or the escort isn’t as advertised for whatever reason. That should be acceptable grounds to call it off. An escort could also call it off if he felt uncomfortable. I don’t think either is unreasonable. 

[Jarrod_Uncut]

9 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Yes it’s a different perspective here. I do screen clients but not to the extent you do. Probably a big reason it’s different here is that sex work is legal. If I get a client who refuses to pay or is abusive I can call the police. You can’t. That’s a big difference. 

I have to disagree. The reason behind the situation is irrelevant. Abuse is abuse, and it’s no reason to believe someone shouldn’t be able to call the authorities in an abusive circumstance. That’s almost like saying, “someone overdosed on drugs, but since it’s illegal: don’t call 911”. 

Now if it’s a case of: “he didn’t pay me, I’m calling the police.”, that’s a whole other matter which would be considered civil and therefore non enforceable (but probably a good candidate for Judge Jerry).

 

Edited June 24, 2022 by Jarrod_Uncut