Therapy

[Simon Suraci]

Does anyone know of resources for affordable therapists or non-profits who have specific experience seeing sex worker clients? I have some local ones good for sex positive, lgbt+ and alternative lifestyle stuff, but I cannot afford them. My insurance is through the state because I am self employed it and doesn’t cover much, certainly not any mental health providers appropriate to my specific needs.

I tried Pineapple Support but they denied me saying they only see “online” performers such as cam models, porn actors, and fan site content creators. Seems backwards to me that they won’t support a SW who does his work IRL.

Ironically, one of the (many) issues I want to discuss in therapy is the possibility of becoming an adult content creator and how that may affect my life and psyche. Apparently you have to already have made the irreversible decision of posting content all over the internet before anyone is willing to help you deal with the mental fallout from doing so. 

[LookingAround]

On 10/29/2022 at 7:37 PM, Luv2play said:

Maybe it helps me that I took an undergraduate degree in psychology and sociology. I then studied law and graduated with a degree in law. I acquired a lot of theoretical and practical knowledge of human behaviour. Along the way I learned a lot about myself as well. 

Society was undergoing incredible changes in the 1960's when I was in school and university. I was undergoing changes in myself and learning to live with being gay in a largely straight world. 

I managed to survive and I would say thrive in those times despite the difficulties of fitting in. Having friends, family and colleagues and some lovers along the way gave me great support. I also tried to be nice to people along the way. You get back what you give. 

I never felt the need for therapy. Having gay family doctors at crucial times in my life helped. I consider myself lucky but I also made good decisions for myself as well. Like avoiding drugs, too much alcohol and other self destructive behaviour. 

With (the greatest of) respect you’re exactly the type of person who needs therapy. (Like the most). 

[ICTJOCK]

I've never been in therapy for anything,  but I would hope if I were,  that I could talk to my therapist about anything.   If you are seeing him and have a comfort level,   I would hope you would anticipate how he might react.     If I had anxiety about what might be said,  I'd probably want to get a new therapist.

[Luv2play]

5 hours ago, LookingAround said:

With (the greatest of) respect you’re exactly the type of person who needs therapy. (Like the most). 

And what makes you think so?. That I'm not well adjusted? I think I'll let the therapists work on people who need it more than I do.

At 76 I have three part time jobs, two volunteer and one paying a low stipend for a job I love and can be creative. I also write a biweekly newspaper column, for which I am paid.

I wake up each day with something fun and rewarding to do. I also have a wonderful pension that allows me to indulge in some hobbies. 

[LookingAround]

2 hours ago, Luv2play said:

And what makes you think so?. That I'm not well adjusted? I think I'll let the therapists work on people who need it more than I do.

At 76 I have three part time jobs, two volunteer and one paying a low stipend for a job I love and can be creative. I also write a biweekly newspaper column, for which I am paid.

I wake up each day with something fun and rewarding to do. I also have a wonderful pension that allows me to indulge in some hobbies. 

lol I never said I didn’t think you weren’t well adjusted. Those were your words. 

[Luv2play]

2 hours ago, LookingAround said:

lol I never said I didn’t think you weren’t well adjusted. Those were your words. 

Well why would I need therapy if I'm well adjusted?. I don't suffer from depression, poor self esteem, addictive behavior or other negative features that need to be changed. I would be wasting a therapist's time when they could be helping others who need it.

[soloyo215]

Good God! We all need therapy after this discussion.

[Monarchy79]

On 10/29/2022 at 3:08 PM, Luv2play said:

Why in heaven's name would a normal, well adjusted person need a therapist? 

Because a normal, well adjusted person doesn’t exist. 

[Guest]

On 10/30/2022 at 3:34 AM, arnemgreeves said:

Therapy is a rigged game.

It's racist, belittling and partial.

They don't actually go over a template and like other branches of medical practice they don't go over a template. they just allow their biases to influence their judgments.

Like there are two uni/college-aged students - one is a hot, white guy/girl and they would never tell them not to look at porn or hook up. But the other is a tall non-white dude, and they would tell them NEVER to look at porn for any reason and wouldn't say the reason why not. Like their DSM says this is acceptable practice...of course. 

They tend to think like Hitler - they have these ranks in their minds about who has value and give the best practice to those who in their minds have the most value. It's a sham, especially when they tell everybody under the Sun that they "treat everybody equally". yeah, like we were all born yesterday.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt 

[Guest]

On 5/15/2022 at 10:15 PM, shawshini said:

I’ve been in therapy on and off for most of my adult life, dealing with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, to name just a few…

Although I feel comfortable bringing my full self to therapy most of the time, one thing I haven’t discussed yet is hiring.  Just coming upon a year doing this and I have some feelings. Would there be any legal ramifications for myself or the therapist?  I assume no because the activities are between two consenting adults over 18, and I’m not causing harm to myself or others, but still not sure about bringing it up.  My therapist is extremely inclusive and we’ve discussed many other scenarios.

Any thoughts or experience with this?

I certainly hope you find peace and comfort for all that has led you to take the courageous step in getting help from a trained professional. I also commend you for going out on a vulnerability limb by sharing your experience(s) you may have encouraged others to do the same. I don't know you but if I did I'd 🫂 ya!  

[adunn1992]

On 5/16/2022 at 1:15 AM, shawshini said:

I’ve been in therapy on and off for most of my adult life, dealing with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, to name just a few…

Although I feel comfortable bringing my full self to therapy most of the time, one thing I haven’t discussed yet is hiring.  Just coming upon a year doing this and I have some feelings. Would there be any legal ramifications for myself or the therapist?  I assume no because the activities are between two consenting adults over 18, and I’m not causing harm to myself or others, but still not sure about bringing it up.  My therapist is extremely inclusive and we’ve discussed many other scenarios.

Any thoughts or experience with this?

First off sharing taking those steps of going to therapy to acknowledge how to deal with issues of depression, trauma, self-esteem, and anxiety is a very important first step.  

I have also recently taken my first step of going to therapy again after a 4-year hiatus of attending a session for very similar issues. Based on my experience with therapy, as long as you are not conducting any harm towards yourself and another person you should be able to share your experience in life: however I don't know how you and your relationship with your therapist are but sharing that part of your life should only be based on you and your relationship with the therapist. 

Be proud that you are taking those important steps for your mental health. 

[Oakman]

You get the most out of therapy if you can be completely vulnerable and transparent. It may take a while to establish that kind of trust with a therapist, but there is so much value in talking about the things that you are most afraid to talk about (hiring, for instance). A good therapist has no judgement about your sex life, and lots of curiosity about it. 
 

If that kind of discussion feels too hard to broach with your therapist right now, you might start with “there are aspects of my sex life that I feel reluctant to bring up with you. Can we discuss that?” 
 

[jeezifonly]

As a treatment protocol, counseling and/or psychotherapy can help some patients with specific short-term problems to address, while some patients need to have a treatment plan that can be preventive, or help mitigate life-long issues that recur. 

Like all other medical intervention, sometimes the patient has no idea of the seriousness of a problem until a course of action delivers results. 
And like all other medical practitioners, they range from scam artists to miracle workers. And yes… some people require miracles on a weekly basis. 😘

[Pd1_jap]

On 10/30/2022 at 3:34 AM, arnemgreeves said:

Therapy is a rigged game.

It's racist, belittling and partial.

They don't actually go over a template and like other branches of medical practice they don't go over a template. they just allow their biases to influence their judgments.

Like there are two uni/college-aged students - one is a hot, white guy/girl and they would never tell them not to look at porn or hook up. But the other is a tall non-white dude, and they would tell them NEVER to look at porn for any reason and wouldn't say the reason why not. Like their DSM says this is acceptable practice...of course. 

They tend to think like Hitler - they have these ranks in their minds about who has value and give the best practice to those who in their minds have the most value. It's a sham, especially when they tell everybody under the Sun that they "treat everybody equally". yeah, like we were all born yesterday.

[Pd1_jap]

On 9/27/2023 at 10:41 AM, LookingAround said:

lol I never said I didn’t think you weren’t well adjusted. Those were your words. 

For a lawyer, logic is not your strong suit. If "well adjusted people don't need therapy." Then all people seeking or in therapy are maladjusted. QED

Edited November 4, 2023 by Pd1_jap
Spelling and grammar

[Pd1_jap]

Can anyone PM me if they have a reco for a good therapist in LA?

@Luv2play I like to think of myself as well adjusted but I also interact with a bunch of crazy people, like my mom, my brother, other family members and work colleagues who drive me fugg'n crazy.  

Even if I'm well adjusted it's nice to have a sounding board to navigate where to place boundaries and how firm they should be. 

Discussing those things with friends and family will never be truly honest feedback because they all have vested interest in my actions. My mother would say I never give her enough money, even if I have to cancel vacations and live in a shoe box. So I like having a fellow sane person there to confirm that my mother is pushing my boundaries too far. One therapist completely changed the dynamic with my mother by seeing the relationship in a different light. 

Similarly with my boss he is always going to say I could be doing more for the team. How do I know when it's too much and need to focus on engaging in "acts of self care".

[LookingAround]

On 11/4/2023 at 6:26 PM, Pd1_jap said:

For a lawyer, logic is not your strong suit. If "well adjusted people don't need therapy." Then all people seeking or in therapy are maladjusted. QED

Assumes facts not in evidence. Where did you get the idea I’m a lawyer?  I’m not a lawyer. Thank God. 

[Pd1_jap]

2 hours ago, LookingAround said:

Assumes facts not in evidence. Where did you get the idea I’m a lawyer?  I’m not a lawyer. Thank God. 

That was directed at luv2play. 

[mahattan mild age]

Therapy :I recommend Matthew East Men, the manager of Deep Tissue Massage, which is very close to the technique of a medical masseur

[Oakman]

4 hours ago, mahattan mild age said:

Therapy :I recommend Matthew East Men, the manager of Deep Tissue Massage, which is very close to the technique of a medical masseur

No, honey. Psychotherapy. Not Massage Therapy. Read the thread. 😉

[Simon Suraci]

6 hours ago, Oakman said:

No, honey. Psychotherapy. Not Massage Therapy. Read the thread. 😉

Oh, dear 🤦‍♂️ 

[Rudynate]

On 10/29/2022 at 10:12 AM, Coolwave35 said:

My friend is a surgeon and recently said in conversation “I firmly believe that most people and 100% of women should have a therapist.”  Although wildly misogynistic, I thought it was funny. 

Was it mysogynistic?  I thought just the opposite - that he understood that women have challenges that men don't. 

[Simon Suraci]

Yes, it is a mysogynistic comment. Funny though it is, I don’t think we should brush attitudes like this under the rug. All people can benefit from a therapist. Women may have different experiences than men, but we all can benefit from working through issues in our lives with a professional. If you’re a human being, you’re subject to life, and life experiences sometimes feel like a punch to your face.

Not everyone can access therapy and that’s a bummer, but everyone that can access therapy should take advantage of that privilege, even when they are not in “crisis”. A lot of times the work we do in therapy keeps us from having to come to the point of crisis in the first place. It can help us process, heal, and live in a more healthy, fulfilling way. It helps our relationships, and by extension the people around us.

3 hours ago, Rudynate said:

Was it mysogynistic?