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I’ve been in therapy on and off for most of my adult life, dealing with depression, anxiety, self-esteem issues, to name just a few…

Although I feel comfortable bringing my full self to therapy most of the time, one thing I haven’t discussed yet is hiring.  Just coming upon a year doing this and I have some feelings. Would there be any legal ramifications for myself or the therapist?  I assume no because the activities are between two consenting adults over 18, and I’m not causing harm to myself or others, but still not sure about bringing it up.  My therapist is extremely inclusive and we’ve discussed many other scenarios.

Any thoughts or experience with this?

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10 hours ago, jtmick said:

Any thoughts or experience with this?

My therapist knows.  Hiring or getting paid for sex is not an insecurity for me or a hangup for my therapist.  It is a part of who I am and what brings me joy.  He also rightfully agrees that we all pay for companionship in one form or another.  My therapist has helped me mentally deal with things that I wanted to change such as alcohol consumption and my work performance.  For example,  he'll bring up how I don't need alcohol to talk with an escort, so I should be able to talk with strangers at a bar without alcohol as well. 

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18 minutes ago, Vegas_nw1982 said:

My therapist knows.  Hiring or getting paid for sex is not an insecurity for me or a hangup for my therapist.  It is a part of who I am and what brings me joy.  He also rightfully agrees that we all pay for companionship in one form or another.  My therapist has helped me mentally deal with things that I wanted to change such as alcohol consumption and my work performance.  For example,  he'll bring up how I don't need alcohol to talk with an escort, so I should be able to talk with strangers at a bar without alcohol as well. 

Thank you!  This response is so helpful. I’m not insecure about hiring either, I’ve actually used it as a tool to become more comfortable in my own skin, and this is what I’d like to explore further with my therapist. 

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1 hour ago, Vegas_nw1982 said:

My therapist knows.  Hiring or getting paid for sex is not an insecurity for me or a hangup for my therapist.  It is a part of who I am and what brings me joy.  He also rightfully agrees that we all pay for companionship in one form or another.  My therapist has helped me mentally deal with things that I wanted to change such as alcohol consumption and my work performance.  For example,  he'll bring up how I don't need alcohol to talk with an escort, so I should be able to talk with strangers at a bar without alcohol as well. 

I like your therapist! Keep seeing them. Pretty soon they may get you caring about 15 million dead people!

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Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, Lucky said:

I like your therapist! Keep seeing them. Pretty soon they may get you caring about 15 million dead people!

I'm glad you like him!  I'd happily recommend him to others in town.  My neighbors have used his services as well.  He's not for everyone, however.  For example, he doesn't adorn a mask 😷or ask his clients to wear one, and that may be a trigger for some thems.

A few years ago he helped me realize it was normal for most people to have sex on their mind throughout the week, and it would be healthy to go out and enjoy it rather than staying home.  I definitely feel my life is more in balanced now.

 

Edited by Vegas_nw1982
Edited for pronouns
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I was nervous telling my therapist that I hired a couple of guys, but I felt I needed to discuss the issue since at first I had some mixed feelings about paying for sex. I told him after I was seeing him for at least several months. I think that discussing the issue with him wind up being helpful and gave me some insight

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On 5/16/2022 at 8:59 AM, Vegas_nw1982 said:

...My therapist has helped me mentally deal with things that I wanted to change such as alcohol consumption and my work performance...

Irresponsible Drinking At Work Cartoon Vector Illustration Stock  Illustration - Download Image Now - iStock

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On 5/15/2022 at 10:15 PM, jtmick said:

…Although I feel comfortable bringing my full self to therapy most of the time, one thing I haven’t discussed yet is hiring.  Just coming upon a year doing this and I have some feelings. Would there be any legal ramifications for myself or the therapist?...

I can't speak for the law everywhere, but I'd guess the law is pretty similar in most places as it is in California. In general, a therapist is only allowed (and should) break confidentiality when there's a specific threat to self or others. He couldn't tell your partner or spouse simply because he felt it was possible you might transmit an STD to this partner or spouse, for example. Any violation of confidentiality, other than to protect yourself or others from serious harm, would entitle you to substantial financial compensation. 

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A couple times I met well known provider, and we connected well on a personal level during our meetups. He is also a therapist. I’m thinking of checking into that part of his work. He already knows I hire. I would easily find a new provider if his therapy skills line up with his intellect and other warm interpersonal qualities. 

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Posted (edited)

My sense is that a gay, older, male, mental health therapist, would be more likely to handle the information that you hire much better than a younger, gay, male therapist. 

They, and women of all ages, are likely to see it as exploitive, and you'll waste too much time explaining how you think/know it is not the case, in your experience 

Remember, the 50 minutes is about you, and you are not helped by working against their ill-informed prejudice.  Good luck!

 

Edited by Rod Hagen
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4 hours ago, Rod Hagen said:

My sense is that a gay, older, male, mental health therapist, would be more likely to handle the information that you hire much better than a younger, gay, male therapist....

I'm not so sure it would make that much of a difference. Therapists are trained to be nonjudgmental, and any good therapist is nonjudgmental. 

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Posted (edited)
18 hours ago, Unicorn said:

I'm not so sure it would make that much of a difference. Therapists are trained to be nonjudgmental, and any good therapist is nonjudgmental. 

Sure...in fantasy land.  Clearly, you don't, often, talk to therapists outside of professional situations, or, when you do, they are on guard.  Truth is, they bring their shit to every session.  And, sometimes they check it, and sometimes the shit slips by.

Edited by Rod Hagen
WTF is up with my commas today?
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I would ask your therapist escort for a therapist referral. He might be better able to steer you to someone who won’t have that checked baggage. All the better if he tells you that he is willing to do it himself

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