Making my final arrangements, finding it overwhelming

[Guest]

I have two more days left at work. My last move was 30 years ago when I moved from my 1 bedroom apartment when I did my residency in Santa Monica, to where I live now. I have the moving van dates set up, picking up the 14th, dropping off the 15th. I closed my safety deposit box today, including 2000 Swiss Francs my brother found in my mother's purse after she passed away, that I had planned to spend in a nice vacation last summer. Maybe this summer. Starting the electricity and the gas in the new place. Closing them out in this place. Don't forget EBMUD, the water service. Gotta decide what to stay and what to go. And get that basal cell cancer off my back next week (hopefully). Covid-modified goodbye parties. Furnishing the new place. Dropping off my old car in the new place on Friday, picking up a new car on Saturday. I just couldn't deal with the selling process, so signed my house away to house flippers. I can't believe I won't go back to work again, other than one last goodbye party and my 2nd Covid shot. Gonna have to get my new mattresses, too. I feel I'm going to go crazy. Hard to imagine what my new life will be like....

[+ FrankR]

I have two more days left at work. My last move was 30 years ago when I moved from my 1 bedroom apartment when I did my residency in Santa Monica, to where I live now. I have the moving van dates set up, picking up the 14th, dropping off the 15th. I closed my safety deposit box today, including 2000 Swiss Francs my brother found in my mother's purse after she passed away, that I had planned to spend in a nice vacation last summer. Maybe this summer. Starting the electricity and the gas in the new place. Closing them out in this place. Don't forget EBMUD, the water service. Gotta decide what to stay and what to go. And get that basal cell cancer off my back next week (hopefully). Covid-modified goodbye parties. Furnishing the new place. Dropping off my old car in the new place on Friday, picking up a new car on Saturday. I just couldn't deal with the selling process, so signed my house away to house flippers. I can't believe I won't go back to work again, other than one last goodbye party and my 2nd Covid shot. Gonna have to get my new mattresses, too. I feel I'm going to go crazy. Hard to imagine what my new life will be like....

Take a deep breath. You can do this - one step at a time. Make a list of what you need to do. Prioririze that list and then deal only with priorities. Other items on your list can wait - you will have plenty of time to knock them off your list when you are retired!

 

Have you considered meeting with a life coach to consider what you want out of life in retirement?

[+ Pensant]

In the past 6 years, I’ve moved 4 times, leaving some of my possessions in storage in Orange County. One of the moves was to the summer house I bought near the San Juans. It’s a hassle, but one you can manage.

[MscleLovr]

+1 for what @FrankR has written

 

Gotta decide what to stay and what to go

 

My two cents: Put a lot of effort into this. Be ruthless. Throw out what you don’t need or enjoy or use…and don’t kid yourself that you’ll use something one day.

Don’t be a hoarder. Sell, recycle or give away anything of minor value.

 

My experience is from when I sold a beautiful country house that I had earlier bought and loved. My life changed and I rarely visited the house for 2 years. I had a caretaker, a cleaner and security that I paid for an empty house. Finally, I sold some valuable pieces and gave away a lot of stuff. I then put some furniture and pictures into storage - after 18 months, I hadn’t used or needed anything from storage so I disposed of all that I’d stored.

 

IMO it’s a great psychic boost to get rid of inessentials.

[+ Pensant]

If I haven’t worn something in two years, it goes to EBay or Goodwill. Two expensive bikes went to friends.

[+ Reisr30]

@Unicorn I knew you bought a new house but did I miss that you retired as well?

 

I am a worrier by birth and always stress when there is change in my life. I’ve started to meditate and that tends to help my mind from racing and feeling overwhelmed.

 

The other thing that helps me is to get a list of things to do. As I get things done and cross them off the list my stress level seems to decrease...

 

Good luck with the move.

[+ bigjoey]

From a Chinese Fortune Cookie: “When one door closes, another door opens.”?

 

This is an opportunity to BEGIN a new chapter rather than end a chapter. When I retired, I opened up new chapters in volunteering. Met new people and stayed active.

 

One doctor friend of mine volunteers at Planned Parenthood (they pay for her medical liability insurance). After retirement, three doctor friends have volunteered to work stretches in clinics in third world countries all over the world (two to four weeks at a place as their schedule permits).

 

What volunteering or taking classes do is give your life structure. You have spent decades with a structure for your time and to suddenly go to an unstructured schedule can be hard. This structure should ease your clear anxiety.

 

Good advice has been given by other posters on how to make the move and I agree with them. When broken down into smaller tasks that have been prioritized, you will find it easier to accomplish.

 

Good luck with life’s next chapter.?

[marylander1940]

I have two more days left at work. My last move was 30 years ago when I moved from my 1 bedroom apartment when I did my residency in Santa Monica, to where I live now. I have the moving van dates set up, picking up the 14th, dropping off the 15th. I closed my safety deposit box today, including 2000 Swiss Francs my brother found in my mother's purse after she passed away, that I had planned to spend in a nice vacation last summer. Maybe this summer. Starting the electricity and the gas in the new place. Closing them out in this place. Don't forget EBMUD, the water service. Gotta decide what to stay and what to go. And get that basal cell cancer off my back next week (hopefully). Covid-modified goodbye parties. Furnishing the new place. Dropping off my old car in the new place on Friday, picking up a new car on Saturday. I just couldn't deal with the selling process, so signed my house away to house flippers. I can't believe I won't go back to work again, other than one last goodbye party and my 2nd Covid shot. Gonna have to get my new mattresses, too. I feel I'm going to go crazy. Hard to imagine what my new life will be like....

 

it's a good problem to have if you're moving for good reasons. Certainly a first world country problem. You're smart and with the help of technology you'll figure it out!

[maninsoma]

I expected to find a thread about being overwhelmed by planning what will happen to your body and your stuff after death. Isn't that usually the topic covered by the phrase "final arrangements?"

 

I have moved more recently than you (about a decade ago), but I am potentially going to be in your position in about a year. I also find the idea of moving a bit daunting. For the first time I may just spend extra money to have other people do most of the packing.

[keefer]

 

My two cents: Put a lot of effort into this. Be ruthless. Throw out what you don’t need or enjoy or use…and don’t kid yourself that you’ll use something one day.

Don’t be a hoarder. Sell, recycle or give away anything of minor value.

 

 

concur, this is absolutely brilliant advice.

 

three years ago we had builders in; to shorten the build (from 12 to 7 months) we agreed to pack/store everything, and moved to a one bedroom apartment. like @MscleLovr advises, close friends also advised us to be ruthless; clothes and kitchen items not used in the past year went to charity... the futon in a guest bedroom we were going to replace some year - gone... three quarters of books collected since university (which I might reread some day) - all to charity... the most shocking find was six boxes in the attic containing toiletries, dishwasher/washing machine soap, and other cleaning supplies, which were accidentally put in the attic 20 years earlier when we bought the house...

 

All in all we probably reduced possessions by half, repeated the process when we moved in, and haven't missed anything we gave away.

 

honestly, we could and should have been more ruthless in the process.

 

we kept two spiral notebooks to keep from being overwhelmed by the process... in one we wrote absolutely everything we needed to remember, key phone numbers, tasks, anything we needed to deal with - but without concern of order or priority. In the second one we wrote the 40-60 most important issues to deal with this week (two-page spread), and moved to the next two-page anything that could be pushed briefly into the future... crossing out anything we accomplished, and moving forward anything important for next week... crossing off items is extremely cathartic, and getting items out of our heads and onto paper (and yellow sticky notes), meant that even fleeting ideas could be tracked.

[+ azdr0710]

crossing off that last thing on the list!.....wow!

 

Edited December 30, 2020 by azdr0710

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

And get that basal cell cancer off my back next week (hopefully).

 

That's a bummer to need to address this at the same time as your exciting move.

 

Just a word of advice - I've had a couple of basal cells removed from my back and both times I needed stitches. I hadn't thought about it beforehand, but I needed to limit some of my movements so I didn't pop open the stitches. For me, the primary impact was at the gym as I put off upper body work for a week and focused on legs and cardio. I suspect it might be an impact with lifting things during the move, so I thought I'd mention it.

[+ Charlie]

I know what you mean. My house cleaner is also making her final arrangements to move. She lost a lot of clients in the spring who were self-isolating at home and didn't want anyone else in the house, and all the jobs she regularly took to supplement her income--dog-walking, pet-sitting, driving shuttles for special events, etc.--disappeared when people were working from home and weren't traveling, and all the special events were cancelled. She was using her retirement savings to pay her rent, but then her landlord announced that he was selling the house and she would have to leave. She is 58 and has lived here all her life, and she said she has been cleaning houses since she was 14, but she doesn't see any option but to move to live with her brother's family in rural Utah. So her brother is coming for the New Year's holiday, and on Saturday morning they will start driving a rental truck with all her possessions to Utah, to begin her new life. She said it all feels crazy, but she is trying to have a positive attitude towards all the stressful changes.

[dbar123]

Good luck with your transition. Retirement is awesome.

 

I retired in September and moved cross country from Massachusetts to Oregon. Got rid of all the large furniture and books. Just take one step at a time. It all works out.

 

Enjoy your new reality. I rarely think about work these days

 

I hope you have a good outcome with your cancer as well

[Guest]

Good luck with your transition. Retirement is awesome.

 

I retired in September and moved cross country from Massachusetts to Oregon. Got rid of all the large furniture and books. Just take one step at a time. It all works out.

 

Enjoy your new reality. I rarely think about work these days

 

I hope you have a good outcome with your cancer as well

Yes, I'm getting rid of most of my large furniture, other than one couch, coffee table, and a file cabinet. I guess I'll get rid of most books. Yeah, I'm going to have to be ruthless. The home flippers will have to call the junk haulers and spend some time spiffing up this place. Just don't want to deal with it. I also scheduled my 2nd Covi-19 shot for the 12th in the morning today. I don't think I can bear to part with any of my porn, though.

[Guest]

@Unicorn I knew you bought a new house but did I miss that you retired as well?

....

Yup. Tomorrow's my last day (other than a good-bye party they'll be throwing next Friday). I'm driving down in my old car in 2 days (will be available for any guests at my place, which has no public transportation), and leaving it there, buying a new car on Saturday, driving back up on Tuesday, getting the cancer taken out on Wednesday, goodbye party Friday, 2nd Covid shot on Tuesday, moving van comes on Thursday. Hopefully I won't have to go back. Shutting off all power and water as of the 15th.

[Guest]

...

Have you considered meeting with a life coach to consider what you want out of life in retirement?

Thanks, but I don't need a life coach to tell me....

Oh, yeah and also learn Krav Maga, audit linguistics courses at UCLA, hike all around, and travel (preferably while having sex). And probably learn some more foreign languages like Mandarin, Russian, and/or Arabic.

[+ AntonGraza]

From a Chinese Fortune Cookie: “When one door closes, another door opens.”?

 

This is an opportunity to BEGIN a new chapter rather than end a chapter. When I retired, I opened up new chapters in volunteering. Met new people and stayed active.

 

One doctor friend of mine volunteers at Planned Parenthood (they pay for her medical liability insurance). After retirement, three doctor friends have volunteered to work stretches in clinics in third world countries all over the world (two to four weeks at a place as their schedule permits).

 

What volunteering or taking classes do is give your life structure. You have spent decades with a structure for your time and to suddenly go to an unstructured schedule can be hard. This structure should ease your clear anxiety.

 

Good advice has been given by other posters on how to make the move and I agree with them. When broken down into smaller tasks that have been prioritized, you will find it easier to accomplish.

 

Good luck with life’s next chapter.?

Alternate version - When one door closes and another door opens , you are most likely in jail ; )

[Guest]

I went through this earlier in the year with a move. It was worth the few thousand $ to hire someone to coordinate logistics including a “pack and unpack” mover. As to the new house, hire a designer with tastes similar to yours who can get the vision of what you seek. You can afford it and if you’re really overwhelmed, it’s worth the peace of mind.

[Guest]

Thanks. Yeah, I do have a designer. And I did hire a packing and unpacking service on both ends. I still have big decisions on what stays and what goes. Do I keep my gardening tools although I have a landscaper? What kitchen items to keep.... And the books....

[Guest]

Thanks. Yeah, I do have a designer. And I did hire a packing and unpacking service on both ends. I still have big decisions on what stays and what goes. Do I keep my gardening tools although I have a landscaper? What kitchen items to keep.... And the books....

I held on to garden tools and a lawn mower for years...even though the last time I cut grass was in the early 90’s. If you haven’t used it in a year, let it go...but make books part of the decor...even the paperbacks.

 

an idea to consider to ease the burden. If you haven’t used it in a year, put it in storage. In another year, if you haven’t retrieved it, then give it all away.

[KeepItReal]

I closed my safety deposit box today, including 2000 Swiss Francs my brother found in my mother's purse after she passed away, that I had planned to spend in a nice vacation last summer.

I have never heard anybody refer to them as a "safety deposit box" - it's always been "safe deposit box". Where did you learn to refer to them that way? (Just curious!).

[Guest]

I have never heard anybody refer to them as a "safety deposit box" - it's always been "safe deposit box". Where did you learn to refer to them that way? (Just curious!).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_deposit_box

" A safe deposit box, also known as a safety deposit box,[1][2] is an individually secured container, usually held within a larger safe or bank vault. Safe deposit boxes are generally located in banks, post offices or other institutions. "

Maybe an old-fashioned or regional way to say this? Anyway, I should probably just buy a little safe for my house...

[+ keroscenefire]

Congrats on your retirement. Don't have anything else to say but "You got this!"

Edited January 1, 2021 by keroscenefire

[+ Lucky]

Every time I see the thread title about making final arrangements, I think Will and Last Testament, Durable Power of Attorney, Healthcare Wishes, etc. I am glad that @Unicorn is making arrangements, but I doubt that they will be final.