Anybody still go to gay bars?

[geoffk]

i have to agree with EZE that i mostly only go to ones with dancers/strippers. But i do love going to Flaming Saddles in NYC. The bartenders dance on the bar! yee haw!

[bendable2019]

I have never been to one in DC and I don’t intend to visit one.

[The Phoenix]

I go all the time! I moved to NYC from a place that doesn’t have very many gay bars and where holding a guy’s hand on the street (or even being nice to another guy in a “straight” bar) might get you jumped depending on the time of day. It’s nice to feel safe somewhere.

[Rudynate]

A few years ago, my partner and I visited LA on Pride weekend. Being there on Pride weekend was unintentional, but fortunate. We hung out some in WeHo. We did go in a couple bars and enjoyed it. The Abbey in particular was fun. It was like stepping back in time to the glory days of gay bars- stunning bartenders with bare chests and big arms, equally stunning clientele, loud music, dancing. We had a great time, stayed for an hour or so.

[+ easygoingpal]

Back in the 80's I visited a place called "Hamburger's Mary" in San Jose, CA. There, I made a group of friends and we liked to hang together on Wednesdays and Saturdays. They had a piano and they also had a guy do a comedy routine. Afterwards we would go to Denny's for a very late dinner. I also visited a number of San Francisco bars in the 80's and 90's. I no longer go as I would feel out of place for all the reasons mentioned above... One of the best memories I have is from the "Midnight Sun" in SF. I would go there order a drink and watch Golden Girls and join with the crowd's laughter. Fun times...

[+ Pensant]

It’s been about 20 years. I used to regularly dance with friends and dates at the Boom in Laguna Beach and hang out at Rage and the Abbey in Weho and often hit the bars when traveling. I feel too conspicuous now that I’m of a certain age.

[+ ArVaGuy]

I have very fond memories of Chesapeake House. I was there the night before they closed. Even then, nobody present said anything about them closing. It seemed very sudden.

 

Ahhh, Chesapeake House, perhaps the best male strip joint that ever existed. At least the best in DC for sure in its heyday.

 

True story.....an acquaintance was a rather heavy set guy and had an atrraction to young twink type guys. He was at Chesapeake House with his bevy of guys drinking and having a good time. (He was the VERY GENEROUS type ) He had just purchased a new car and handed the keys to one of the twinks, asked him to pull the car around and pick him up to take him home. The twink and a friend go get the car. Ricardo was waiting out front with a couple guys....the twink drives by in his car....waves at him...and drives the car all the way to Fort Lauderdale. Car was recovered about a week later...he didn’t file charges. We of course never let him forget the “Chesapeake House Incident” for years. Ironically, he retired to Fort Lauderdale and was a fixture at Boardwalk till he died a few years ago.

Edited August 11, 2019 by ArVaGuy

[Guest]

When I was a young adult, I'd go to a gay bar, and could quickly hook up with a handsome dude. No longer the case, so when I go to bars, it's mainly to enjoy the go-go dancers. I don't suppose even handsome young men go to bars any more to hook up, now with phone aps being so popular and convenient.

[JayCeeKy]

I don't go any more. Gay bars are basically meat racks. And when your meat gets so old it only attracts flies, it's time to go home and read a book, and maybe watch a porn flic or two.

[LaffingBear]

I used to tell friends, as we walked through Castro, that if I ever went into Twin Peaks, bury me!

 

Renowned as one of the first with windows permitting views inside, it eventually attracted an older crowd and became known as The Glass Coffin.

 

I dont know if its still there, or if it has same clientele. But Im thinking of taking a ride and checking it out one of these days

[Monarchy79]

I came into “Gay World” at 18 in 1997, in DC.

 

The entire club-bar scene was amazing at this time (both straight and gay)... every weekend, I was hanging with some group of friends, swinging from the chandeliers.

 

Although I rarely go to bars/clubs now (unless I’m traveling) I’m glad I did it when I did. I had a fantastic time.

 

You’re only young once, so get out there and swing from the chandeliers too!!!

[BaronArtz]

@Hoover42. NYC has so many gay bars. I still miss the very popular Splash Bar & Stella’s. Now I go to Hardware in the evening time slot. Have become friendly with the bartender & met some very nice patrons. A few drinks & most people become talkative. Yes, my friend & I are probably among the oldest there but I’ve never felt invisible or uncomfortable. Next time you’re in NYC let me know & will go for a drink.

 

Interesting! I am (was) an aficionado of Stellas and Splash myself. I believe you and I met at Club 20 a few times. Does Hardvare have a similar vibe as either one of these places? Thank you for this recommendation. I will go explore it myself one of these days.

[+ sync]

For me it was great to find a happy-hour after work for drinks and conversation. There was easy-listening music, perfect for happy-hour chat, then a change to club music for dancing later. It was sad to watch the death of happy-hour. The younger bartenders began to play club music at happy-hour, which made conversation next to impossible. The happy-hour crowd complained, but to no avail, and soon happy-hour was gone. That was back in the 1990's. I don't know if happy-hour survived somewhere, but I never found it again.

[+ Snbrd]

LaffingBear's comment about Twin Peaks caused a chuckle. It also points out that older gays do enjoy meeting, even if just occasionally, in a bar. In the nineties there was bar in Boston called Napolean's. It was small and quirky with pictures and busts of Napoleon. It featured a piano bar and an older crowd. Now that I am the demographic of their patrons I wish it was still there.

Maybe there is niche for a market presently overlooked.

[Rudynate]

I used to tell friends, as we walked through Castro, that if I ever went into Twin Peaks, bury me!

 

Renowned as one of the first with windows permitting views inside, it eventually attracted an older crowd and became known as The Glass Coffin.

 

I dont know if its still there, or if it has same clientele. But Im thinking of taking a ride and checking it out one of these days

 

 

Still there. In a harsher time, bars catering to an older crowd were known as "wrinkle bars." SF once had its share of wrinkle bars-the Twin Peaks, the New Bell Saloon, the PS, the Rocking Horse, the Lion Pub.

 

I always wondered how one knew that it was time for him to start frequenting the Twin Peaks. I'm certainly of that age but I've never been in the place. If I were ever going to go in a bar it would probably be the Eagle.

[+ Charlie]

LaffingBear's comment about Twin Peaks caused a chuckle. It also points out that older gays do enjoy meeting, even if just occasionally, in a bar. In the nineties there was bar in Boston called Napolean's. It was small and quirky with pictures and busts of Napoleon. It featured a piano bar and an older crowd. Now that I am the demographic of their patrons I wish it was still there.

Maybe there is niche for a market presently overlooked.

Napoleon's was there thirty years before then. I remember being taken there when I was in my 20s, and it was just as you describe it.

[niceandthick]

I have fond memories of the Fraternity House/Omega

 

Loved the Fraternity House. It was the first gay bar that i went to and it was love at first site. I was a staple there on weekends. Met 3 of my BFs and many FBs there. I didn't like it so much when it became Omega.

[Cooper]

Interesting! I am (was) an aficionado of Stellas and Splash myself. I believe you and I met at Club 20 a few times. Does Hardvare have a similar vibe as either one of these places? Thank you for this recommendation. I will go explore it myself one of these days.

 

@BaronArtz. Yes, we had good times @ the 20C. Hardware is a gay bar. Night time entertainment is a drag queen show. Doesn’t compare to Splash or Stella’s. Have you been to Atlas Social (close to Hardware)? Adonis used to have one night of dancers there. Not sure if they still do. Mike, a former Splash bartender works there. If a NYC bar opens like Splash, Stella’s, or 20C, I’ll let you know. Hope all is well. Coop

[+ carlos45]

When I was first out, (officially), in 1987, I loved going to bars. It was where I was the happiest, even if I didn't meet anyone. I was never much of a drinker, I did love the social aspect of bars, along with the music and the atmosphere. My first LGBT community was Hillcrest in San Diego. Flicks, WCPC, and Peacock Alley were my choices. Now, I've lived in San Francisco nearly 25 years, I don't go out much. If I should go to a bar, now, it's The Midnight Sun. I'll go usually on Wed., late afternoon. The crowd's middle-aged, the videos are from the last century, so I'm comfortable. Since I don't go out much, anymore, I tend to forget how strong they pour cocktails, so I stick to sparkling water or a diet soda.

[jjkrkwood]

I just think when you get older, at least for me, I just enjoy the peace and quiet of just staying home in my adjustable bed and catching up on my ON Demand TV shows. I also think, at least for me it has to do with a decreased libido, as I was tested for low T, and never followed up with treatment because I had the 2 surgeries pending.... I am lucky that I have a great sex club where I live, that if I do feel the urge. I just go, pay my $17 and get off.... That usually will last me for the month.

[+ tassojunior]

Was visiting Baltimore yesterday so dropped in Grand Central. More women than gay men. Went around the block to Leon's. Ditto.

 

I was at the Frat House DC a lot and out of thousands and thousands of customers don't ever remember seeing a female there

 

Young female friends tell me they like gay bars because they don't feel like meat getting hit on constantly. Why Social Security is unsustainable with too few babies being born. They'd rather have a puppy or a cat. Another reason we have to have immigrants.

Edited August 12, 2019 by tassojunior

[+ sync]

Anyone here remember an awesome "negotiating" bar that was on Eighth Avenue at about 50th street in NYC named Haymarket? So much fun.

[+ Hoover42]

Loved the Fraternity House. It was the first gay bar that i went to and it was love at first site. I was a staple there on weekends. Met 3 of my BFs and many FBs there. I didn't like it so much when it became Omega.

Did you ever go to Shooters/Rascals next door to the Riggs bank at Dupont Circle?

 

The upstairs club had gogo boys, and I had the biggest crush on one guy who worked there. I went every weekend for a year just to drool over him. I still have a photo he gave me

[+ tassojunior]

Did you ever go to Shooters/Rascals next door to the Riggs bank at Dupont Circle?

 

The upstairs club had gogo boys, and I had the biggest crush on one guy who worked there. I went every weekend for a year just to drool over him. I still have a photo he gave me

 

For 3 years I went with Chris the bright-blond muscle guy who worked La Cage and Rascals. Rascals was short-lived.

[Mocha]

I used to go out to the bars in DC every weekend like clockwork. However, these days, not so much. I think I would probably stand out like a sore thumb in a sea of twenty-somethings.

 

In fact, I can't remember the last time I went to a gay bar in DC with the exception of one visit to Secrets a few years ago.

 

Just curious, any of you alter cockers visit gay bars (not strip clubs!) these days, either to hang out or to look for a hookup?

 

I’m in Washington DC, and just went out to a gay bar the other night and met someone who’s taking me on a date for my birthday this evening ?? lol.

 

That’s not to brag, but here’s the thing with gay bars: you have to go with minimum expectations, but EXPECT to meet someone regardless. I usually always meet someone when I go to a gay bar, the issue is evaluating the quality of those people. That’s the main reason I cut down on going to bars, is you don’t always know who you’re getting outside of the bar. However, that’s where the low expectations, high hopes come into play. And just an overall good radar.

 

I’ve kinda stopped trying to figure out gay bars, and whether it’s worth going...and just go or not go based on my mood. If I made money and have the money to spend, I’ll go. If not, I stay home. Some people get caught up in going out every night, wasting money and being caught up in drama. It’s not worth it. I go out when I’m out of town with friends, or if have the opportunity to go.

 

It also depends heavily where you live. Gay bars in conservative market towns like Nashville, Kansas City, Tulsa, San Antonio, Madison, Wisconsin...basically middle America...it’s just not the same experience. Gays in those towns have a clique mentality. If you’re alone, you’re creepy. If you’re with someone, you’re still “up for grabs”. Yes...that’s how it works. I actually ended up having my first 3som with my best friend, because a guy was into both of us...and we both went to his hotel room lol.

 

But cities like LA, DC, Miami, SF...all those areas tends to be more open minded to new comers and guys going out alone. The fact is: Grindr and company can’t ever replace a gay bar. I find the most consistent gay people are those I meet in bars and clubs and thru escorting. Not Grindr, not and not “by chance” at the grocery store or something (I’ve still yet to make any friends or fuck buddies via gym, grocery store, etc).

 

But again, I do it in moderation. I’ll usually go out only 1 night on a weekend...unless it’s something specific going on. And also, people have to be honest with themselves and pick the right crowd. I don’t go to places where everybody is in their 20s. That’s the immature crowd. Find the place where the middle and older guys go. I tend to go to the 25-40s bars. I don’t do “18 and up” nights, and I don’t do “leather daddy nights” either. I tend to go to where I’m not going to feel out of place.