KensingtonHomo

I think I subscribed to two guys. And, honestly, it was boring AF.

I mentioned this on that other thread. But the one porn “Star” I’ve hired was great and didn’t charge a premium. One of the forest providers we hired has since become a pretty big OF/porn guy. I’m not sure if he sees clients anymore. There are guys I find attractive but I also know that porn is not the same thing as real life. So if I hired Cade Maddox, I doubt he’d live up to his onscreen performances.

I agree with you that some people assume personal limits on luxuries or recreational spending equal an inability to afford them. I've hired guys who were close to $1,000 and haven't felt the experience justified paying more than double the NYC rate (which is already high). I also don't watch a lot of porn and find OnlyFans to be a complete waste of money. So there are maybe two or three guys who do porn that I might pay a premium for. I met with one last fall, a very well-known performer, and he charged me $350 for an hour, which was closer to 90 minutes. I had a fantastic time. What I notice is that a lot of guys are willing to pay a lot of money to be with a porn or OF star. And that doesn't interest me. Now, I would pay more for a premium cabin or a more comfortable seat on a flight. I also haven't seen most of the big music tours lately because though I love Beyonce, I'm not paying $600 for a mediocre seat.

If you go to the Twitter link, it goes to a seemingly new account of a guy named Nikola who also appears on the site. Seems like one guy trying to give the impression that he's a "pimp."

They have some precise language on the site, which states it's not about sex, it's about sensuality massages with licensed therapists. It may be a way to get around the law; e.g. by being this explicit about what is and ISN'T offered, they're keeping to the letter of the law.

Like NYC, Chicago probably has lots of people who think X place "isn't a great neighborhood after dark." They're usually expressing local prejudices, not reality. Assuming you have money for a taxi (and it wouldn't be exorbitant), I kinda think you should have met him.

I haven't seen this much. I suspect it's guys trying to look tough or edgy. It wouldn't bother me if it's just a single photo. I find myself put off by profiles that have no smiling pictures, where every facial expression is like "tough guy" - also ones that have multiple hardcore sex videos. I prefer to leave some stuff to my imagination.

Haven't you guys heard of Viagra? I'm assuming "excitement" means erections here. If so, there's a pill for that. Of course, even viagra requires there to be some desire. If @SometimesBi and his buddy don't have desire for each other, viagra won't work. Now @Thelatin, I see it differently. If closeted men are staying with their wives, I feel bad for the wives who are being lied to and cheated on. I sincerely hope they're not having sex with their husbands as they are potentially being exposed to STIs without their knowledge. That's grotesque and should be the thing that makes you shudder.

I don’t care what an escort does in his private life as long as he fulfills what I want. Also, me and my husband (who is a top) hire together so guys who can really top and bottom in a session are *chef’s kiss.” I’ve seen members here question the masculinity of providers as if there’s some authentic masculinity. There isn’t. It’s all a performance that we learn growing up and some of us then lean more into what feels “natural” to us.

Can we hire you?

I would confirm with him again on Saturday and reiterate what you're looking to do. That way you'll know you're on the same page. With an in-call, you'll be in his space, so that may make you a bit more nervous. Be calm. Politely ask for any reasonable thing you need: water, the bathroom, etc., before you get started. If you have a super specific lube or something, bring it with you. And HAVE FUN!

Did you read what he posted? No, it’s not just eat less; move more. It’s actually very difficult for people who lose significant amounts of weight to keep it off because evolution has primed us to retain fat.

Not only were gay men thinner in the 70s and 80s, the entire country was thinner. Between 1976 and 1980, only 14 percent of Americans were obese. That number was 45 percent by 2018 and is now closer to 50%. Gay men cannot magically avoid a national trend, which is also unique to the US. That change has not been caused by everyone suddenly losing their willpower to diet. Rather, it is the result of agricultural policy (subsidizing corn, the explosion of processed food and sugar-filled drinks) and shifts in work from industrial to service-oriented labor. Further, most Americans, including children, take less exercise and have less free time than we did 40 years ago. As I stated earlier, on average, the percentage of obese gay men is lower, but it's still significant (30-35%), closer to that of heterosexual women, while lesbians and heterosexual men tend to be more obese. So the gap between what the average gay man looks like and the pornified ideal is much wider than it used to be. As with any enormous demographic shift, culture is following it and "bears" and chubby guys appear in much more porn then they used to - and they are more accepted as part of the diverse community that includes muscle guys, jocks, nerds, twinks, daddies, etc. The pressure to look like that ideal has led to a considerable increase in eating disorders among gay men (15% of us versus 3% of straight men). And that's before we get into surgical interventions. I personally have a pretty wide palette (from athletic to runner's build to dadbod to chubby guys) but I generally do not find extremely muscular, 3 percent body fat men attractive; nor do I find morbidly obese men attractive. But understanding the facts of obesity in our country, I do believe everyone deserves respect and kindness regardless of their weight. And that would include not constantly going on about how unattractive they are, nor claiming that an attribute that impacts 30% of a population is a fetish.

I'm not sure what @Rgsnva is referring to. Is it the thread about the scammer? For me, I use a burner number (and recommend others do too). But I've never been threatened and certainly never felt unsafe.

I would block him on everything.

Being fit - even as fit as you are - which is kind of generic 26 year old; is a historically recent phenomenon. Certainly the beauty expectations put on gay men are not even 30 years old. The insistence on extremely muscular and little to no body fat began in the 90s in response to AIDS. Before that, gay men probably leaned thinner than the average heterosexual. Throughout history and cultures beauty standards change. The assumption that we’re responding to something natural and inherent rather than our cultural programming is naive.

If we go through your history of posting, your disdain for overweight men is the one constant.

I agree with you here. I have been with one porn star who only charged me $350 for over an hour. I don’t watch a lot of porn so he’s one of the few I know. The sex was amazing and he was a delight to be with - basically an in person version of his films. That said, I’d have probably gone as high as $500 for him. In fact, I believe with the tip I gave him $450. Personally, I primarily hire for convenience (the apps make me insane) and there’s only so much I’ll pay for convenience. But I appreciate that others want to have experiences with porn or OF stars and they’ll pay a premium for that. Good for them.

Foot fetishes are pretty common. A lot of providers even put their feet in their profiles. The best thing you can do is be explicit with that you want (foot job, etc) and make sure he’s comfortable with it. From your description of him, I’m pretty confident he’ll be down.

Girl, your hatred of people who are overweight is just next level. I believe you live in the Village where you would see overweight gay men in long-term relationships every day. As you've often noted, you're not part of the community, so let's assume my experience (and the data shared above) is more accurate than that of a single, isolated neighbor.

As someone who has experienced these, it's more about you than the provider. I learned how to have them via Zoom during the COVID-19 pandemic. It mostly has to do with your ability to relax into the pleasure, so it just waves over you again and again. Have you ever had one? You can probably teach yourself with a toy.

If folks are serious about this, may I recommend we start a Signal chat to seriously plan? I'm open to other encrypted chat services as well. PS: If you want to DM me, I can set it up.

No, I gave you a litany of examples that anyone who is actively a member of the diverse gay community can see in their life.

Unfortunately, there really isn't much you can do except warn others. I don't oppose making a reasonable deposit ($25-$50) to show I'm serious. In all the time I've been doing this, I've only had one guy screw me over. Posting who the guy who scammed you would be helpful to others.

You mustn't get out much. Almost every overweight gay man I know is in a multi-year - sometimes decades long - relationship. Some with men of similar size; some with men who are average or even athletic. In the two-plus decades I've been with my husband, I've gained and lost 100 lbs while he is the same waist size he was in college. I'm now a bit heavier than I'd like but my rest heart rate is 60. I run three days a week and also strength train and kickbox. While we hire for convenience, we have no issues finding men who want to sleep with us outside of providers. Honestly, the worst thing about being overweight for me is how I feel about myself, which is very much tied up in the lacerating and vicious cultural appraisals of gay men who think youth and a six-pack is the sine qua non of beauty. Thankfully, I didn't find twinks or twunks appealing when I was one. Oddly, the majority of my friends who are single into their 30s and 40s are the most fit and athletic ones. Maybe there's a hint there about what makes for a stable, long-term relationship.