KensingtonHomo

That's a hard pass for me too.

I can think of a few but they're all in NYC.

I love to bake and when we have guys over, I offer them homemade cookies and ice cream.

Thanks for the heads up @Braziliancutee We generally host and if it's someone new, I put our wallets in a lockbox.

This is tough. I agree with others, you seem emotionally intelligent enough to realize the trap you're setting for yourself. Understanding our emotions doesn't mean we can always control them. But as @SirBillybob noted, we can manage them with proper techniques. But if you really want to find someone to spend your life with, you're not going to get that from a provider. We didn't start hiring - which we do as a couple - until we had been together for over 15 years. So neither of us have sought a BFE experience. We're mostly looking for a fuck buddy vibe when we hire. I agree with others that if you're looking for a relationship, you need to focus on that. The apps can be harsh so maybe try to get involved in some gay groups.

I have typically preferred guys who are taller than me. But I'm 5'11", so that eliminates more than 80 percent of the men. Only 15-20% of American men are 6' and taller. I'm more open to guys of varying heights now, but I definitely enjoy a 6'6" guy when I find one.

Unless you’re spending huge sums (over $10,000), Zelle and Venmo are fine. Almost seven years doing this hobby and never had an issue. We also use Zelle and Venmo to send money for theater tickets, concerts, dinners, etc. It all just blends in.

Not necessarily. The provider sets the rate. If they're willing to go beyond typical sensual massage at that price, it's their choice. I do and would encourage a nice tip. Perhaps some providers can shed light here, but I have been surprised pretty regularly by a massage where the last 20 minutes turned into full-on sex. I didn't request it, but I consented. In my experience (I'm a nice-looking, middle-aged guy in good shape), some providers are just into it at the moment.

I wonder if this will impact prices at all.

I've noticed more guys in NYC, but it fluctuates a lot here since it's a travel destination. I do wonder if the new tourist rule of having 5 years of social media reviewed to enter the US will impact providers.

THIS. I'm in Brooklyn, about 20 minutes from Downtown NYC or 30 from Midtown. It's generally faster to take the subway than to drive to where we live. So Uber is not only an extra expense, but it's inefficient. The only time I take a cab home from Manhattan is late at night. If I were having a provider over at 11 pm or midnight, I'd cover an Uber back. A big issue with Uber - and the key reason that providers want the client to pay is that the cost is unpredictable. With surge pricing, it can cost anywhere from $45 to $180 to get from Midtown to my house. This is the way to approach it. Most providers don't because if they add $50 for Uber to their fee, the Uber can cost 2-3 times that amount.

I only pay in cash if the provider insists. It's not me being a dick. I rarely carry cash and don't live near a bank branch. I'm seldom asked to pay in advance and - as others have noted - those who do ask are generally about to short you. A benefit of paying electronically is that I can tip with ease. If we're doing cash, I put it in an envelope and leave it on the counter or coffee table so we're both aware that it's there. Once or twice with a regular masseur the bliss has led to me forgetting, but the minute I remember or he reminds me, I send over the money.

With the top 10% of earners being responsible for more than half of all consumer spending, there’s just fewer people with the means to hire. It’s like jeans or dining out. There’s only so much that can support because X number of men are only going to hire X number of escorts. And many middle class and even upper middle class people are feeling the squeeze.

I highly recommend you put this in your RM bio.

This isn't weird. Many couples who play together or have open relationships experience compersion. My husband and I both do.

We have a few regulars who've discussed other clients with us - never revealing any identifiable information. They tend to be humorous or horrifying stories. We don't seek a BFE so maybe it doesn't come up. Personally, I think jealousy is largely socially constructed. I grew up in a working-class community where an SO even looking at another person was considered a betrayal. Any infidelity was grounds for a breakup or divorce, regardless of circumstance or length of the relationship. IMO, these are unhealthy relationships based not on mutual love, loyalty and sharing a life, but almost a conscription into a forced monogamy that may not make sense for any particular couple. It's not about love, it's about possession and control. And if you have feelings that arise about a provider, I guess that you're placing them into this very heteronormative model. Enjoy the time you spend with people, whether a provider, a lover, or a friend, and don't worry about what they're doing the rest of the time.

I would have paid whatever fee was agreed to and dismissed him. You're not an ATM.

My husband and I prefer to host. I'm not familiar with Toronto but we live in Brooklyn so some escorts don't want to travel to us, but enough are willing to do so.

He's not my type, so I wouldn't pay him for anything. One of the few tattoos I don't care for is one on the neck. 🤣 But I don't even see a link to his OF, so I'm not sure how this pushes people toward it. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I hadn't seen your and Brazillian's posts before I made my most recent one. I agree we should respect B's wishes and move on.

Actually, there is no law that includes rape by deception wherein two adults consent to having sex and then one does not pay the other. The examples, which largely have no led to prosecution (which I think is unfortunate given the circumstances), involve the perpetrator disguising themselves as another gender, pretending to be another person, or claiming to have a vasectomy when they didn't. Rape by deception - Wikipedia EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG

The examples not being sex was intentional. If sex work is work, then those are the guidelines that apply. Refusing to pay for the services is theft, not assault - sexual or otherwise.

If you have someone come to clean your house and they consent to do the job, and then you refuse payment, have you sexually assaulted them? If your gardner mows your lawn, and you refuse to pay him, have you sexually assaulted him? If sex work is work - as I believe it is - what we are talking about here is "theft of services" not "sexual assault." Because consent was never withdrawn, the person didn't pay for the services they received. By some posters' logic, I could consent to having sex with someone on the condition that I have an orgasm. If I don't have an orgasm can I claim they sexually assaulted me? My consent was conditional and the conditions weren't met. None of this diminishes that Brazillian was fucked over and treated like shit. It doesn't diminish that the "client" stole from him and took advantage of him. But it's not sexual assault.

Some providers low key advertise on Grindr but they will kick off anyone who event hints at it. I've heard Adam4Adam is more spicy. That's about it.

This is exactly my experience.