KensingtonHomo

I'm totally fine with a provider not posting his face pics. Some guys do this as a side hustle, some are in relationships, etc. But if I'm not attracted to someone's face, I'm not going to be interested. That said, I'm happy to do a video call if that's the provider's preference. As long as there's some way to see the provider before we set the appointment.

Sorry, this just doesn't comport with the providers on here, not anonymously, say. Nor does it reflect what the providers I see regularly say about their business. Are we expected to believe you get hundreds of texts a day? That you spend hours responding to them? I feel like you're overstating your case, and you came in real hot on a thread where no one did anything wrong. That said, I don't think anyone should waste anyone's time, nor do I think (honestly, it wouldn't even occur to me) that guys should be texting or calling a provider to get their jollies off. That's disrespectful and also just fucking weird. Like go on Pornhub, bro.

As an initial response to @soloyo215 query, this is a LOT. I'm the first to leap to providers' defense, but this and the rest of your response read as entitled and out of touch. Nearly every person who has a customer-facing job - especially one where you're a solo practitioner (hairdressers, make-up artists, realtors, salespeople) deals with some unserious inquiries. If I'm looking to rent an apartment or book a massage, I may reach out to a few providers to see who fits my schedule and budget. That is not wasting your time. That is an initial inquiry to see if it's worth moving ahead. Now, I rarely reach out to a provider looking for an appointment on the same day. I'm generally planning several days, sometimes a couple of weeks in advance. And often providers don't want to commit that far in advance. I'm also not masturbating to their pics at any point. As someone who also texts people and fields inquiries at times, I also have standard replies. It would take me under 20 seconds to copy a standard reply from my Notes app to iMessage. So, if you receive five inquiries in a day, you're spending 2-3 minutes total replying to those initial texts. That's not a lot of time to vet clients when you're charging $400 to $500/hour.

Yes, a provider's reply definitely makes a difference. Do they reply in a reasonable amount of time? Is their response friendly? Does it answer my initial questions? Of the responses you received, I would agree with how you ranked them.

I can’t say. I married for love not money. I had a very wealthy boyfriend when I was in my early 20s. He was about a decade older. Handsome, great in bed but wanted everything HIS way. I decided I’d rather be poor than under any man’s thumb. It all worked out in the end.

I used these for a month and noticed no difference. Using fiber capsules (along with a high fiber diet) or Metamucil is superior - for me, anyway. It doesn't eliminate the need for douching, but it makes it much easier and quicker. I recently moved from a pretty large bulb to a smaller one because I felt I was overdoing it. And I've had no issues.

Obviously, providers want people who can pay them, but plenty of guys of all ages are attracted to Daddies, not all of whom have tons of money.

There's a lot of truth to this. Now that we're in our 50s, my husband and I can't go on the apps without being besieged by guys in their 20s. For the most part, we're not into guys in their 20s. They tend to be flighty, unskilled in sex, emotionally immature, and often - especially providers - far more enamored with their appearance than is warranted. I agree with those who say providers listing "Daddies" as part of their "Into" is clever marketing. That said, "Daddies" are a subgroup within the gay sexual marketplace like "twinks," "muscle guys," "bears," or "otters." In my experience, it's somewhat less about age and more about a combination of aesthetics and personality. I have always been attracted to older men; even now I see men in their 60s and 70s who are really attractive.

Hmmm. I might break the bank for him. But I also fear the experience could never live up to the fantasy.

I've only had one or two instances where the provider didn't match his photos or failed to provide what was discussed.

For an attractive and skilled guy who also adds some spice during or at the end, the cost is typically around $200-$250.

If this is your definition, then it is mostly dead. Social mobility has cratered since the 1980s.

No. The Dream is, as you put it above, doing better each successive generation. As @BSR pointed out, that's simply not possible anymore. I do agree that some people want huge houses with crazy amenities, but that's also what's being built. I have no idea what a family of four needs five bedrooms and four baths. I don't want to clean that big a house. I'm happy in our two-bedroom apartment in a nice part of NYC. But my husband's family had a five bedroom, three bathroom house in Durham on a single doctor's income. His mother never worked. They had a part-time housekeeper. His father went to medical school on the GI bill and had no debt. Most doctors now graduate with hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. And this doesn't just screw the doctors; it screws us as no one wants to be a geriatrician or a pediatrician because they don't make a lot of money.

The American dream isn't paying for state college; it's going to an excellent university (which most people have to take out debt to do). And these folks all worked while attending. They were pushed by their advisors to get into the BEST school. And this doesn't account for my younger cousins in the early 20s now who skipped college because they couldn't even afford state school without going into debt. It now costs $22,000 to attend a state school in New York. My entire bachelors degree cost under $10,000, which is about $23,000 in today's dollars. So it costs four times as much now as it did when I went to school. And it's all because of tax cuts for rich people leading to massive disinvestment. The American Dream is the notion that each generation will do better than their parents. If college is required for a decent job, and it leads to a lifetime of debt, and housing costs 400% more, and groceries are up 20% and many jobs don't have pensions or even health insurance, then no, they're not achieving the American dream. You and I did make it, but we were lucky. We benefited from going to college when it was less expensive. In-state public college tuition has increased 100% since 1995. And salaries have not kept pace with that increase. Now we have giant, multinational corporations that get huge tax breaks and incentives, and mass-firing white collar workers because they think AI can do their jobs. I don't know what you do for a living but what I do can't be replaced by AI.

We may have found the one escort that both @pubic_assistance and I both find attractive. 🤣🤣🤣 I'm not bothered by an ex-con. Lots of people go to jail or prison for minor issues. If he went down for murder or grand larceny, I'd be concerned but I also doubt he'd advertise that.

The American dream existed for about 30-40 years, post-WWII, until the late 80s. Some people, like myself, were able to access a relatively inexpensive public college degree and took advantage of the booming economy to start our careers. However, for millennials and Gen Z, there is virtually no opportunity to move up in class. Everyone I know in their 30s who didn't come from an affluent family that covered their college costs is drowning in debt. They cannot buy real estate, get married, start a family, etc. And if they can make those things happen, they're operating on extremely tight margins. I grew up in a single-parent family, on welfare from age 5 to high school, at which point my mother made enough money. I went to a commuter college, which cost about $800 per semester (which was covered by government support), and I worked 20 hours a week for spending money. My brother got a city union job, where he does very well. But we both busted our asses to get here and we're solidly middle class. Most of the programs and assistance that allowed my mother to get through college, help me go to college, and go from poverty to the middle class have been decimated. So now to get assistance, people have to work. Most adult SNAP recipients work for multinational companies that don't pay a living wage, and so we get to pay for their food assistance and Medicaid. That's why we have so many poor people and are about to have our first trillionaire. So, yeah, except for a few very hard working and also lucky people, the dream is dead.

He looks legit to me. Some reviews and he’s been on a while.

If he had started at $500 - even though that's the high side for me - I'd have made an appointment. A willingness to cut his rate in half suggests to me that he's kind of taking advantage of people who may be more "desperate" for his attention. We hire primarily for convenience. There's a limit to what I'm willing to pay for my convenience. We also tend to plan in advance and once he dropped the price by half he seemed to want to meet up today. We're looking to book in a couple of weeks. A lot of our regulars are out of town for Thanksgiving, so we're looking at new guys. And he cut himself off at the knees.

I reached out to him. He quoted me $1,000 as well. Then offered to bring his boyfriend in for $1,250. I don't haggle because I want someone to be happy with their rate, but I also have a maximum. He then offered both of them for $900. I said I don't want to negotiate and then he said he'd do it solo for $500. I passed. I cannot imagine he's getting $1,000 very often. He's attractive but not extraordinary.

I do suspect some providers (more massage than sex) have set an alarm, but discreetly, as @SecretProvider noted. I can understand doing that because they may have another appointment or otherwise need to leave relatively on time. That said, I think (shocker) @Jamie21 has the right idea to buffer the session. I dislike feeling rushed or like the provider is watching the clock. We had a regular over last weekend. I think the actual sex was about 40 minutes, but we chatted for a few minutes before, and then he hung out for like 30 minutes, just snuggling in bed.

I’m not presuming anything. I’m just stating facts. If you’re offended by them, ask yourself why. Race play is a well known kink. Just as a desire for “frat bros” or “twinks” is. This provider is not the only MOC advertising himself as a racialized category.

Come on. We both know what “thug” means in this context. It’s a racialized term. If the client said he wanted a “dom” or “rope daddy”, no one would he blaming his provider’s description for his encounter being bad.

I see a group of people who some managed to a) not believe the OP b) blame the OP for his bad experience and c) racialize the provider description of himself as a "thug" while ignoring all the violent fantasies some harbor that feature white people (Frats, Bros, etc.). It's quite the remarkable cognitive contraption.

You wrote: This is essentially blaming the client for the provider being abusive. "Roughed up" refers to physical violence, not psychological distress. Just a moment... WWW.COLLINSDICTIONARY.COM Since you feel that hiring a "thug" means you should expect to get roughed up, I suggested a common, less racialized type that escorts advertise as, which, if followed to your conclusion, would suggest the client is looking to be sexually assaulted. This is all pretty basic analysis.

Speaking of reality. The OP never said he was "roughed up." Many escorts identify as "doms," "daddies," "frat bros," or other role-play characters, where "thug" can also sit comfortably as part of a client's fantasy. Lots of women get raped and assaulted by Fraternity bros. So if I hire someone who advertises as a college guy, frat type do I deserve to get roofied and raped?