KensingtonHomo

If you were working in NYC, did you charge for the 20 minute train ride? When I consult, I expect the time I spend traveling between cities to be covered, but I wouldn't charge to get from my hotel to their offices. Also, this provider cannot host, which I presume means he's staying with a friend, not renting a hotel. We could have come to him for an hour or two.

Yes, some providers are definitely adding inches to their height. We saw a guy recently who said he was 6' on his profile. I'm 5'11" and he was at best 5'9". I do think that gay male ideas of beauty are so stringent that many providers think that if they're outside of it, no one will hire them. So they fib. I also suspect they're trying to be included when people select 6' as their minimum height on RM. Same with age shaving. Now, I tend to prefer men taller than me, but someone being 5'9" if they were otherwise hitting all my desired traits wouldn't be a deal breaker.

I don't even haggle over price. I do consulting and my rates are not negotiable. The issue is that we want two hours, and the escort wants three, ostensibly because the distance he has to travel.

I want to be clear, this was all in the initial conversation. We didn't set a two-hour session, and then he came back with three after we'd confirmed.

I'm curious what other clients and providers think of this situation. We're looking to hire this weekend, and none of our regulars are available. I've been chatting with a couple of guys, including one who is visiting this weekend. He's a bit younger than we usually go for (late 20s), but seems very experienced and mature. We live in Brooklyn, about 25-30 minutes outside of Manhattan. He doesn't seem to be able to host. So we initially discussed a two-hour visit at $400/hour. That seems reasonable, especially if he's traveling to us. He then responded that, given the distance, he wants three hours. I have two issues here. First, I don't want three hours. That's too long, especially for someone we've never met. Second, I don't like a hard sell. To me, spending 30 minutes traveling to and from an appointment where you make $800 is a pretty sweet deal. So the insistence on a third hour just feels greedy. Thoughts?

What's "WPB in The Season?"

The gag is I don't even look 40. And it's not because of fillers or botox. Alas, I do not think me and @pubic_assistance will ever have a grudge fuck. 🤣

I have no issue being compared to Ian McKellen. I hope to grow into a sassy old queen.

My commentary in defending older clients? I feel like my commentary is in line with being a Gen Xer. For the record, I'm three years younger than you. I suspect I came out younger than you so maybe that's the vibe?

I included you because your initial comment struck me as you having discomfort with anal sex. You later went into more detail about your STI concerns, which shifted my perception. Now, not specific to you but being a huge slut does not mean people are without shame. Some people who are acting out sexually carry a ton of shame. I enjoy your shade in suggesting I'm older than you. But based on what you've said about your life, I'm around five years younger.

I texted him Saturday with a bit of background asking if he was available. He asked when I was looking for and I said this coming weekend. And he's not responded since.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Honestly, this was not meant in any way as an attack on you or Short. I was calling out a general situation that many of our generation experience.

He's far too muscular for me. So the tattoos do enhance his appearance as they make him somewhat desirable to me. Not enough to hire him, but zero body fat, steroid-enhanced bodies are not appealing to me.

That's worth exploring for both you and @pubic_assistance. Queer men carry around a lot of internalized sexual shame from religion, the AIDS epidemic, etc. I'm not suggesting you change your safer sex practices. But feeling like there's something "icky" about your sexual partners or the kind of sex you desire may be harming you emotionally. Being raised Catholic, I'm still excavating my issues around sexual shame, but overall, my relationship to sex is much better than it was 20 years ago.

This is true of anyone you sleep with, not just providers.

Being Gen X, when hubby and I started playing with others, I was shocked at how little condom use there is. As a bottom on PreP, I'm fine using condoms or not. It really doesn't affect my experience. I do think it can impact a top's experience. They're also less likely to get an STI if they're strictly tops. So that's another disconnect. One thing I've noticed is that eschewing condoms altogether seems to be a very American thing. In Mexico, Spain and Canada, most providers used condoms. I don't know if that's due to less PreP access or just a general acknowledge of other STIs, but it's notable.

This is absurd. I could see charging a premium for a holiday that has people traveling (Christmas, New Years), but he seems unserious.

Perhaps he has a lot of clients, so he doesn't want to encourage new ones. But then, why have an ad? I do think he could have responded with more than an "okay. " For example, "I'm sorry, but 11 a.m. is the only time I have available tomorrow." His responses seemed a bit cold.

This is nowhere near as unhinged as most people's experiences but we hired a guy who was very sexy. He showed up and looked good; he seemed nice. He marketed himself as a vers/top. Then once things got started, not only didn't he get hard, he started acting bizarrely. He refused to move into any position besides being on his belly. Now, everyone has moments when they can't perform. My husband and I were loath to highlight that he wasn't getting hard, but it limited what we could do. And he never addressed it. Just lay on his belly - didn't try to get himself hard or let us get him hard. He mentioned coming from lunch with friends and had a faint smell of liquor, which may have contributed to his softness. Now, we're not dick shamers. We've had providers, and guys we've hooked up with have issues getting or staying hard. We're both in our 50s, so this is not uncommon. In most cases, it's addressed with kindness, and we figure out what else we can do. I don't think any of us came because the vibe was so weird. If he'd addressed the issue and worked with us to make the most of an unfortunate situation, we may have hired him again.

You reached out to me. And while we haven't connected yet, I remain interested.

I can't speak for Jamie21, but me and my husband are in our 50s. Very similar to your vibe. We're good not fantastic shape, we take care of ourselves, and our experience is that most providers enjoy us as clients.

Hmmm. For me, being desired is a huge turn-on. Since I don't have a pussy, seeing a guy fuck someone with one makes me think he's unlikely to find me desirable. To me, women are gorgeous, generally preferable company to men - especially any man who wants to discuss sports - and I've made out with and humped many AFAB people and women over the years. But going beyond that feels like I'd be faking a desire I don't have. But there's nothing about women I find repulsive. Somewhat similar to your experience, I find that the majority of men - especially straight-identified men - are attracted to femininity regardless of the actual sexual parts. Esteemed trans philosopher Natalie Wynn says, "Men experience femininity as an invitation."

Funny. SweetnFitNYC's profile didn't give me "macho" vibes. Now, if you wanted someone to come over and put the Wolford's on so you could beg fuck them, I might do it for free. LOL

I'm curious about him. Where did you find him on social media?

Maybe it's just me, but when I see a provider's ad that includes videos of them fucking a vagina, it's a big turnoff. I have nothing against vaginas, and I find many trans men hot. But I was just looking at an ad and the videos are extreme close-ups of the provider fucking a vagina. It just makes me like blah...