KensingtonHomo

I would confirm with him again on Saturday and reiterate what you're looking to do. That way you'll know you're on the same page. With an in-call, you'll be in his space, so that may make you a bit more nervous. Be calm. Politely ask for any reasonable thing you need: water, the bathroom, etc., before you get started. If you have a super specific lube or something, bring it with you. And HAVE FUN!

Did you read what he posted? No, it’s not just eat less; move more. It’s actually very difficult for people who lose significant amounts of weight to keep it off because evolution has primed us to retain fat.

Not only were gay men thinner in the 70s and 80s, the entire country was thinner. Between 1976 and 1980, only 14 percent of Americans were obese. That number was 45 percent by 2018 and is now closer to 50%. Gay men cannot magically avoid a national trend, which is also unique to the US. That change has not been caused by everyone suddenly losing their willpower to diet. Rather, it is the result of agricultural policy (subsidizing corn, the explosion of processed food and sugar-filled drinks) and shifts in work from industrial to service-oriented labor. Further, most Americans, including children, take less exercise and have less free time than we did 40 years ago. As I stated earlier, on average, the percentage of obese gay men is lower, but it's still significant (30-35%), closer to that of heterosexual women, while lesbians and heterosexual men tend to be more obese. So the gap between what the average gay man looks like and the pornified ideal is much wider than it used to be. As with any enormous demographic shift, culture is following it and "bears" and chubby guys appear in much more porn then they used to - and they are more accepted as part of the diverse community that includes muscle guys, jocks, nerds, twinks, daddies, etc. The pressure to look like that ideal has led to a considerable increase in eating disorders among gay men (15% of us versus 3% of straight men). And that's before we get into surgical interventions. I personally have a pretty wide palette (from athletic to runner's build to dadbod to chubby guys) but I generally do not find extremely muscular, 3 percent body fat men attractive; nor do I find morbidly obese men attractive. But understanding the facts of obesity in our country, I do believe everyone deserves respect and kindness regardless of their weight. And that would include not constantly going on about how unattractive they are, nor claiming that an attribute that impacts 30% of a population is a fetish.

I'm not sure what @Rgsnva is referring to. Is it the thread about the scammer? For me, I use a burner number (and recommend others do too). But I've never been threatened and certainly never felt unsafe.

Being fit - even as fit as you are - which is kind of generic 26 year old; is a historically recent phenomenon. Certainly the beauty expectations put on gay men are not even 30 years old. The insistence on extremely muscular and little to no body fat began in the 90s in response to AIDS. Before that, gay men probably leaned thinner than the average heterosexual. Throughout history and cultures beauty standards change. The assumption that we’re responding to something natural and inherent rather than our cultural programming is naive.

If we go through your history of posting, your disdain for overweight men is the one constant.

I agree with you here. I have been with one porn star who only charged me $350 for over an hour. I don’t watch a lot of porn so he’s one of the few I know. The sex was amazing and he was a delight to be with - basically an in person version of his films. That said, I’d have probably gone as high as $500 for him. In fact, I believe with the tip I gave him $450. Personally, I primarily hire for convenience (the apps make me insane) and there’s only so much I’ll pay for convenience. But I appreciate that others want to have experiences with porn or OF stars and they’ll pay a premium for that. Good for them.

Foot fetishes are pretty common. A lot of providers even put their feet in their profiles. The best thing you can do is be explicit with that you want (foot job, etc) and make sure he’s comfortable with it. From your description of him, I’m pretty confident he’ll be down.

Girl, your hatred of people who are overweight is just next level. I believe you live in the Village where you would see overweight gay men in long-term relationships every day. As you've often noted, you're not part of the community, so let's assume my experience (and the data shared above) is more accurate than that of a single, isolated neighbor.

As someone who has experienced these, it's more about you than the provider. I learned how to have them via Zoom during the COVID-19 pandemic. It mostly has to do with your ability to relax into the pleasure, so it just waves over you again and again. Have you ever had one? You can probably teach yourself with a toy.

If folks are serious about this, may I recommend we start a Signal chat to seriously plan? I'm open to other encrypted chat services as well. PS: If you want to DM me, I can set it up.

No, I gave you a litany of examples that anyone who is actively a member of the diverse gay community can see in their life.

Unfortunately, there really isn't much you can do except warn others. I don't oppose making a reasonable deposit ($25-$50) to show I'm serious. In all the time I've been doing this, I've only had one guy screw me over. Posting who the guy who scammed you would be helpful to others.

You mustn't get out much. Almost every overweight gay man I know is in a multi-year - sometimes decades long - relationship. Some with men of similar size; some with men who are average or even athletic. In the two-plus decades I've been with my husband, I've gained and lost 100 lbs while he is the same waist size he was in college. I'm now a bit heavier than I'd like but my rest heart rate is 60. I run three days a week and also strength train and kickbox. While we hire for convenience, we have no issues finding men who want to sleep with us outside of providers. Honestly, the worst thing about being overweight for me is how I feel about myself, which is very much tied up in the lacerating and vicious cultural appraisals of gay men who think youth and a six-pack is the sine qua non of beauty. Thankfully, I didn't find twinks or twunks appealing when I was one. Oddly, the majority of my friends who are single into their 30s and 40s are the most fit and athletic ones. Maybe there's a hint there about what makes for a stable, long-term relationship.

What you're describing here is a combination of vanity and body dysmorphia. Most people have some physical insecurities, even if they're generally happy with their appearance. From my conversations with several providers, they seem to have very few issues with men who are bald, over 60, or overweight. Once you exclude guys cheating on their wives, that's their bread and butter. Faced with a hypothetical fat, bald man over 60, most guys in their 20s-30s will likely conjure someone completely unattractive rather than say Kevin James, who may be overweight and middle-aged, but has a handsome face. I agree with @d.anders that it's a negotiation and you might be foregoing a possible leg up.

Overall, I think you're very cute, the pics are great and your copy is good. Personally, as a bottom, I'm unlikely to hire an escort who isn't open to fucking. But it seems to me that there are plenty of guys who are into just oral, kissing, body contact, etc. I do think it's a mistake to identify yourself as a "top" though as most will read that as for anal.

Seamus is great. I've hired him a couple of times and he's super hot, nice, but will dom out on you. SeamusOfIreland - Male Escort, Gay massage - Hamptons | Rent.Men RENT.MEN SeamusOfIreland Gay Escort in Hamptons, New York, available for Gay Escorting,Modeling,Erotic Massage. |...

I assume it's unintentional, but you have portrayed yourself as insecure about your appearance. "Fat", in particular, is a troubling description because it can mean anything from being "gay fat", e.g., not ripped and starving to chubby to morbidly obese. Similarly, there are a ton of hot bald guys running around our community. And being over 60 also doesn't suggest you're unattractive. Yet, your refusal to share a photo (which may reveal you have a handsome face, are just chubby, etc) suggests you believe that most escorts will find you unappealing. That's why you're getting these responses.

I have him blocked on Rent.men. I don't do that without reason so I'm guessing he was a jerk.

It's a microcosm of the larger gay male social milieu, where youth and beauty are seen as more important then wisdom, sexual skill, kindness, etc.

Unless you're someone with no social media presence, there are likely photos of you that can be easily found. If someone is requesting a photo, you have every right to refuse, and they have every right not to meet you. While I maintain that sex work is work and should be decriminalized or legalized, it's not the same as going to the barber or even getting a massage. While some providers may well be trying to monetize their sex lives, I suspect most who ask for a pic are trying to get a sense of the person they'll be meeting. I have a pretty diverse sexual palette but I know some guys would be a nonstarter for me. I also feel like if I send a photo and the person ghosts me (which has yet to happen), I probably dodged a bullet.

This is seriously tacky.

I completely agree that granularity is a turn-off. I completely respect a provider's right to set their price and even have tiers. But But anything beyond sensual (nude includes HE), sensual with oral, and "full service" makes me feel like I'm negotiating. And that makes me move on.

As I read this, you’ve been giving him a big tip. And then after you confirmed the price for this session, you didn’t give him a big tip. So he wrote you the next day saying he wanted a higher fee? Is that right? if that’s the case, I don’t think you should have paid the higher fee, especially since his doing so led to you not wanting to see him again. Was it “go away” money?

If a regular poster reaches out to me for more information, I'm happy to share what I recall. Sometimes I can provide a bit more context about a provider, but i'm always clear that this is my experience. People need to communicate what they're looking for, ensure the provider is open to it, and account for chemistry. Similar to @MikeBiDude, I've had masseurs who we end up fucking, escorts where I didn't feel the chemistry, and so on. When I ask for more details, it's rarely about the sex. I'm more curious about the personality, incall/outcall, price (if they're not putting it out there) and logistics.