KensingtonHomo

The American dream existed for about 30-40 years, post-WWII, until the late 80s. Some people, like myself, were able to access a relatively inexpensive public college degree and took advantage of the booming economy to start our careers. However, for millennials and Gen Z, there is virtually no opportunity to move up in class. Everyone I know in their 30s who didn't come from an affluent family that covered their college costs is drowning in debt. They cannot buy real estate, get married, start a family, etc. And if they can make those things happen, they're operating on extremely tight margins. I grew up in a single-parent family, on welfare from age 5 to high school, at which point my mother made enough money. I went to a commuter college, which cost about $800 per semester (which was covered by government support), and I worked 20 hours a week for spending money. My brother got a city union job, where he does very well. But we both busted our asses to get here and we're solidly middle class. Most of the programs and assistance that allowed my mother to get through college, help me go to college, and go from poverty to the middle class have been decimated. So now to get assistance, people have to work. Most adult SNAP recipients work for multinational companies that don't pay a living wage, and so we get to pay for their food assistance and Medicaid. That's why we have so many poor people and are about to have our first trillionaire. So, yeah, except for a few very hard working and also lucky people, the dream is dead.

He looks legit to me. Some reviews and he’s been on a while.

If he had started at $500 - even though that's the high side for me - I'd have made an appointment. A willingness to cut his rate in half suggests to me that he's kind of taking advantage of people who may be more "desperate" for his attention. We hire primarily for convenience. There's a limit to what I'm willing to pay for my convenience. We also tend to plan in advance and once he dropped the price by half he seemed to want to meet up today. We're looking to book in a couple of weeks. A lot of our regulars are out of town for Thanksgiving, so we're looking at new guys. And he cut himself off at the knees.

I reached out to him. He quoted me $1,000 as well. Then offered to bring his boyfriend in for $1,250. I don't haggle because I want someone to be happy with their rate, but I also have a maximum. He then offered both of them for $900. I said I don't want to negotiate and then he said he'd do it solo for $500. I passed. I cannot imagine he's getting $1,000 very often. He's attractive but not extraordinary.

I do suspect some providers (more massage than sex) have set an alarm, but discreetly, as @SecretProvider noted. I can understand doing that because they may have another appointment or otherwise need to leave relatively on time. That said, I think (shocker) @Jamie21 has the right idea to buffer the session. I dislike feeling rushed or like the provider is watching the clock. We had a regular over last weekend. I think the actual sex was about 40 minutes, but we chatted for a few minutes before, and then he hung out for like 30 minutes, just snuggling in bed.

I’m not presuming anything. I’m just stating facts. If you’re offended by them, ask yourself why. Race play is a well known kink. Just as a desire for “frat bros” or “twinks” is. This provider is not the only MOC advertising himself as a racialized category.

Come on. We both know what “thug” means in this context. It’s a racialized term. If the client said he wanted a “dom” or “rope daddy”, no one would he blaming his provider’s description for his encounter being bad.

I see a group of people who some managed to a) not believe the OP b) blame the OP for his bad experience and c) racialize the provider description of himself as a "thug" while ignoring all the violent fantasies some harbor that feature white people (Frats, Bros, etc.). It's quite the remarkable cognitive contraption.

You wrote: This is essentially blaming the client for the provider being abusive. "Roughed up" refers to physical violence, not psychological distress. Just a moment... WWW.COLLINSDICTIONARY.COM Since you feel that hiring a "thug" means you should expect to get roughed up, I suggested a common, less racialized type that escorts advertise as, which, if followed to your conclusion, would suggest the client is looking to be sexually assaulted. This is all pretty basic analysis.

Speaking of reality. The OP never said he was "roughed up." Many escorts identify as "doms," "daddies," "frat bros," or other role-play characters, where "thug" can also sit comfortably as part of a client's fantasy. Lots of women get raped and assaulted by Fraternity bros. So if I hire someone who advertises as a college guy, frat type do I deserve to get roofied and raped?

There’s a lot of truth here. I would include genuinely bi guys as well. We actually had a 26 year old provider over today. We see him occasionally and he’s smart, mature and an absolute tiger in the sack. But he doesn’t have abs. 😂😂😂

Yes. This is well put. I do wish he’d posted the provider’s profile because even accounting for some questionable decisions on his part this “provider” sounds like a scam artist.

I'm so sorry you went through this. I doubt you were ever in danger of law enforcement. It sounds to me like this guy was a grifter who never intended to provide the service. I am surprised that more clients aren't at least sympathetic to your experience. While it's true that you had options, it can be hard to see them when you're dealing with a lot of anxiety. I do find it hard to understand why you would agree to meet a provider at a bath house, if you had a negative experience at one before. Why not a hotel? Was it a cost issue?

I don’t know of any in the US besides those already named. SleepyBoy is way better in the UK tho.

I don't mind sending a face pic because I won't meet a provider without one. But that's once all the details have been worked out. Similar to what @GentJ said, knowing what someone looks like creates some sense of familiarity. I use photos that are more or less publicly available, so if someone ever attempted to use them against me, I'd say, "They took that from X website." That's partly why I don't understand most guys' reluctance to send a face pic. Unless you have no social media presence or business online, almost anyone can find a public photo of you.

The best experience I had in LA was with Joel Someone but he's more of a daddy type. But what a fun, engaging and sexually adept man.

There are ample examples of this among a few regular posters here, who frequently dehumanize providers.

We are still treating the providers we hire with kindness and respect. And I haven't noticed any increase in poor manners from providers. We have a few regulars and occasionally hire outside of that. I haven't noticed any decline in their behavior either. I did have a rather insane interaction in Leeds where the provider asked to meet for a drink before our appointment. He turned out to have rather conservative beliefs, and was offended when I disagreed with him. The conversation got a bit heated and when I excused myself to the bathroom, he left before I got back. I had already decided I wasn't interested in continuing the date and was going to offer him some money for his time. But he bolted. That shows that discussing politics in these situations is never a good idea.

The amount of "telling on yourselves" in this thread is mind-boggling. 🤣

I've seen him discussed many times. It's quite sad what he's done to his body. I suspect his saying "no sex" is because he cannot perform due to his modifications. If someone wants a sugar daddy, they probably need to be more adaptable. And with his modifications, he's left himself desirable only to a small community.

I saw this provider last night and it was a great experience. He’s a very warm and kind person. Great energy. His mix of sound and Nuru techniques were both sensual and relaxing. Will definitely see him again. His apartment is also very nice and super tidy.

“Attack?” That’s a bit hyperbolic. I pointed out that I would not enjoy or prioritize what you had as criteria. I don’t even think your kink is that remarkable. What irritated me about your criteria was your vision that some men are superior than others-particularly those whose mindsets are focused on accumulating wealth for its own sake. As we are social and communal animals, people with that mindset are maladapted. And as that mindset has become pervasive, it’s corroded our society.

I cannot imagine caring about whether or not a provider invests his money. I don't even know how it would come up. I'm quite friendly with a few regulars and we've never discussed our portfolios. I understand not wanting to hire addicts who are messy but if a provider wants to smoke a joint, take an edible or go out dancing on E outside of our appointments, it's really not my business. Also, the topic of investing makes me want to gouge my own eyes out. I do it because we live under this capitalist hellscape and I'd rather not end up eating cat food in my old age. But if a provider brought it up, I'd probably run for the door. In fact, I'd rather trade stories about fun nights at a club or weird drug experiences since I had my youthful days of partying. A person use of drugs or investing doesn't make them "superior" to anyone else. In fact, people who work in the financial markets are notorious for their aggressive drug use, and let's not get into what goes on a frat parties.

I can do you one better. We've had clients ask us to unlock our pictures. I always decline them. It's hard to know why someone is doing this. Perhaps they find you attractive (if you have pictures). But I'm not sure it matters, unless you have information that can trace to your actual name, etc. You may be able to block them.

It's NYC! What do you want to do? Do you know his interests? You could see a show. You could explore cool restaurants. The weather is nice so you could head to Central Park or Union Square park.