KensingtonHomo

That's worth exploring for both you and @pubic_assistance. Queer men carry around a lot of internalized sexual shame from religion, the AIDS epidemic, etc. I'm not suggesting you change your safer sex practices. But feeling like there's something "icky" about your sexual partners or the kind of sex you desire may be harming you emotionally. Being raised Catholic, I'm still excavating my issues around sexual shame, but overall, my relationship to sex is much better than it was 20 years ago.

This is true of anyone you sleep with, not just providers.

Being Gen X, when hubby and I started playing with others, I was shocked at how little condom use there is. As a bottom on PreP, I'm fine using condoms or not. It really doesn't affect my experience. I do think it can impact a top's experience. They're also less likely to get an STI if they're strictly tops. So that's another disconnect. One thing I've noticed is that eschewing condoms altogether seems to be a very American thing. In Mexico, Spain and Canada, most providers used condoms. I don't know if that's due to less PreP access or just a general acknowledge of other STIs, but it's notable.

This is absurd. I could see charging a premium for a holiday that has people traveling (Christmas, New Years), but he seems unserious.

Perhaps he has a lot of clients, so he doesn't want to encourage new ones. But then, why have an ad? I do think he could have responded with more than an "okay. " For example, "I'm sorry, but 11 a.m. is the only time I have available tomorrow." His responses seemed a bit cold.

This is nowhere near as unhinged as most people's experiences but we hired a guy who was very sexy. He showed up and looked good; he seemed nice. He marketed himself as a vers/top. Then once things got started, not only didn't he get hard, he started acting bizarrely. He refused to move into any position besides being on his belly. Now, everyone has moments when they can't perform. My husband and I were loath to highlight that he wasn't getting hard, but it limited what we could do. And he never addressed it. Just lay on his belly - didn't try to get himself hard or let us get him hard. He mentioned coming from lunch with friends and had a faint smell of liquor, which may have contributed to his softness. Now, we're not dick shamers. We've had providers, and guys we've hooked up with have issues getting or staying hard. We're both in our 50s, so this is not uncommon. In most cases, it's addressed with kindness, and we figure out what else we can do. I don't think any of us came because the vibe was so weird. If he'd addressed the issue and worked with us to make the most of an unfortunate situation, we may have hired him again.

You reached out to me. And while we haven't connected yet, I remain interested.

I can't speak for Jamie21, but me and my husband are in our 50s. Very similar to your vibe. We're good not fantastic shape, we take care of ourselves, and our experience is that most providers enjoy us as clients.

Hmmm. For me, being desired is a huge turn-on. Since I don't have a pussy, seeing a guy fuck someone with one makes me think he's unlikely to find me desirable. To me, women are gorgeous, generally preferable company to men - especially any man who wants to discuss sports - and I've made out with and humped many AFAB people and women over the years. But going beyond that feels like I'd be faking a desire I don't have. But there's nothing about women I find repulsive. Somewhat similar to your experience, I find that the majority of men - especially straight-identified men - are attracted to femininity regardless of the actual sexual parts. Esteemed trans philosopher Natalie Wynn says, "Men experience femininity as an invitation."

Funny. SweetnFitNYC's profile didn't give me "macho" vibes. Now, if you wanted someone to come over and put the Wolford's on so you could beg fuck them, I might do it for free. LOL

I'm curious about him. Where did you find him on social media?

Maybe it's just me, but when I see a provider's ad that includes videos of them fucking a vagina, it's a big turnoff. I have nothing against vaginas, and I find many trans men hot. But I was just looking at an ad and the videos are extreme close-ups of the provider fucking a vagina. It just makes me like blah...

We've gotten hit a up a few times in the past week or two. I suspect people are hiring less because of all the uncertainty.

Yeah, I'm in NYC. Maybe he left early and that's why he blew me off. It doesn't matter. I wouldn't hire him for anything now.

Seems like I dodged a bullet. It’s funny that his English isn’t strong as he presents himself as British.

So he canceled on my 90 minutes before our appointment. Said he hadn’t slept and had a headache. That’s too flakey for me.

I’m seeing him tomorrow. He’s been easy to communicate with. That usually portends well.

Again, this is not remotely how human biology works. Neither douching nor bottoming "dries out" your butthole. Douching too often or too close to sex can remove some mucus, which can be beneficial. It's also why over-douching or using anything but water is not recommended. And if you expect a bottom to douche, then you also better expect to use lube for reasons previously mentioned. If you're going to have gay sex, please learn about how it works.

Sweat is not lube. Ya'll reaching for excuses for selfish and potentially injurious behavior.

This is delusional. But I sincerely hope you’re washing your dick when you pull it out of a guy’s ass before expecting him to suck you off. I’m an extremely confident bottom - with three decades of experience. And on behalf of my brethren, please know that what you’re interpreting as “confidence” is actually someone either ignorant of the risks you’re exposing them to or too desperate to say no.

The lack of basic sexual biology on display here is mind boggling. Rectums do not naturally lubricate. Asking someone to bottom without lube is not only selfish, it’s potentially harmful as you’re more likely to tear rectal and anal tissue.

We saw Elite in DC. He’s very tall and broad shouldered. His body is fit and as advertised. Very well endowed with an interesting curve. We found him to be quite charming, vey sexy and an all around sweetheart. He was also very communicative, unlike some guys who act like you’re annoying them. Definitely recommend.

I don't know how many gay guys you know (or straight ones, for that matter), but a fetish to be "used and abused" is pretty standard. I was raised Catholic and get off on power dynamics. My point is that for many of us reliving traumatic experiences while we ultimately retain control is cathartic. And if your profile photo is you; you're quite cute.

Yeah... I used to see girls and some boys on the West Side or Near Houston but probably not since the late 90s.

He looks 34 in his more recent pics. Most of the photos are seem over a decade old. Besides the older photos (some of which are clearly meant to suggest he was a high schooler), I don't see anything in his profile that suggests he's underage.