KensingtonHomo

Some bi guys enjoy being sub-bottoms. Some fully gay guys like to bottom but not feel used or like an object (me, for instance). I do think that porn has led lots of poeple to think they know what tops or bottoms (or heteros) want. But, particularly when having a first-time sexual encounter, communication before and during is key. You mention a language barrier, which probably made things trickier but if you're not enjoying yourself during an encounter you need to speak up then. It's easier said than done but it's important.

If you look for escorts who are into S/M, you’ll find a few. I’m not a spanker but I’ve seen a few into it.

We’d have to do a large scale survey of clients to assess whether my experience is an outlier.

I think the only concern is for poor and marginalized sex workers. But I don’t think Trump’s verdict will have an impact. The case has nothing to do with an escort. Daniels was not paid for the encounter. i think it anything is under threat its OnlyFans and similar services by someone wanting to expand SESTA/FOSTA. Or additional efforts by conservatives and liberals to control online outlets like TikTok.

This reality is why I don't mind making a nominal deposit. And I always try to have a day and time in mind before I initiate; negotiation only happens if the provider can't make that time work.

No, my argument was that deposits benefit more than just the provider. I'm sure you make deposits or give your credit card to reserve all kinds of things. And you do so because the professional or vendor will only reserve your booking with a deposit.

Honestly, you sound flakey. I have never had a provider to whom I made a deposit flake on me. I haven't been flaked on more than a handful of times.

Hey Thomas, I'm sorry you're having this experience. I don't know where you're located but I do know some providers in NYC who are happy to see disabled clients. Perhaps if you share the city you're in, members can help identify some good providers.

That they only benefit the provider. If someone requests a deposit to hold an appointment for you, the benefit to you is that your appointment is secured.

That's not true. We all engage with other professionals who require a deposit to book an appointment or a credit card to charge you a cancellation fee. Sure, the illicit nature of the enterprise doesn't provide recourse that others would, but if we're talking about a small deposit of $25, that is reasonable. Also, in my experience, that deposit is only required for the first appointment. Once a provider realizes you're legit, they don't ask again.

I don't think the face pics are different people. It's just a different angle plus a thicker beard.

This is why I'm not put off by reasonable deposits (let's say $25-$50). Yes, it's a commitment to the provider but it's also them committing to the appointment. And I've never had one of them cancel.

That’s true but I feel like they need to at least keep it to themselves mostly.

Your response is to quote a nepo-baby, man-child, who owes his billions to government contracts, has run Twitter into the ground, and is so anti-gay and transphobic that his child has disowned him? Like I said, Trump supporter.

If you can see an argument for weight, age, or physical appearance (I get hygiene), then why not race? Once we accept that some people deserve professional treatment more than others based on immutable characteristics, then it's fair game on everything. I'm seasoned enough to remember when "no fats, no femmes and no <insert race here>" was constant on gay social networks.

You sound like a Trump supporter. I don't care about "moral superiority." I care that people on here feel comfortable participating without providers or clients being constantly berated for their appearance, age or taste. That Pubic has the most basic desires is great. Happy for him. I encourage you to search and see if I've ever shamed him for who he hires. I'm not going to waste my time cataloging the constant nasty stuff he posts.

To be clear, I’m not saying he should be banned. I’m saying he should be made to follow the forum rules, specifically 1, 4 and 5.. And if he posts hateful stuff it should be removed. I’ve been called on the carpet by moderators before, and I’m not as prolific or regularly hateful as him.

The reality is that some people suffer from rampant internalized ageism and homophobia. @pubic_assistance relentlessly makes disparaging and even hateful statements not only about providers who fall outside of his incredibly narrow view of whom we should all "naturally" be attracted to, but he also - as he does here - treats those of us who hire escorts who are over 25 with more than 5% body fat as if we're insane. He does not recognize that sexual attraction is highly variable and subjective. And, of course, if someone hires an older escort or a bear type of guy, then it can only be because you are so grotesquely ugly that you can't even get undesirables to fuck you for free. I do not understand why @CoM Moderators continue to allow him to spew anti-fat, anti-femme, agist, and ableist crap on here. I can't imagine that the providers enjoy his constant yapping about how hideous they are. Worse, though he has zero relationship with the queer community, he opines on how we should live and who we should want to fuck. Maybe if he went to P-town or Fire Island or got on Scruff with his actual age, he'd see how easy it is for a conventionally attractive middle-aged man to attract younger ones. My husband and I have to bat twinks off like flies when we're out.

Bumping this as I'm considering meeting him and curious if anyone has seen him.

If you have studies about the health benefits of circumcision, post them. My understanding is that circumcision may marginally reduce STI transmission but not to the extent of condom use. Do the Benefits of Male Circumcision Outweigh the Risks? A Critique of the Proposed CDC Guidelines - PMC WWW.NCBI.NLM.NIH.GOV The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have announced a set of provisional guidelines concerning male... Symmetry is attractive in general. But “perceived power” is neither universally attractive nor abstract from capitalism.

I do think you can share nearly anything with a provider so long as you ask. I would suggest that you express to the provider what you did here. That the session was great and you’re shy and not great at expressing yourself, so can you share some scenes you find hot? If he says “yes”, go for it.

Neither of these statements is remotely true. The "universal standards" are Western attributes sold to most of us and, increasingly, the rest of the world through the power of advertising. As a minor example, most Americans consider circumcised penises to be more appealing than uncircumcised. That has been "naturalized" to the point where people with no religious reason to have their male children circumcised do so. Multiple studies have proven there is no hygienic benefit. Outside of the US and Jewish communities, circumcision is rare so for 80% of the world, most American penises are weird. By Western standards, most people of color were not historically considered attractive. This led to Asian people having their eyes surgically altered, African Americans lightening their skin, and straightening their hair. The current UNIVERSAL standard is the Godforsaken Kardashians, who have been relentlessly cosmetically and surgically altered so they look like the product of AI. Lastly, suppose I assume that everyone finds what I do attractive. In that case, I'd be excluding everyone with brown eyes, everyone under 6'0", everyone with a bushy beard, every muscle boy with a shaved body, etc., etc., etc., yet many, many, many people find those attributes incredibly attractive. So, yes, it is narcissistic to assume that everyone finds that incredibly narrow and - for God's sake - so damn basic - things you find attractive.

Tell me you're a narcissist without telling me...

I feel like this isn’t something one should spring on a provider. And for me I’m very sensitive to scent in general so even a provider wearing a lot of cologne is off putting.

I agree that it's important to remember that this is a provider/client relationship. That said, I think there is some degree of acting but the best providers - whether you specify a BFE or not - are people who really enjoy meeting people, getting to know them, and providing them with pleasure. That part of it probably isn't an act per se. But they are definitely playing a role.