KensingtonHomo

That sucks. What did he do that made you feel bad?

I think he's hot but I get the sense that he doesn't wear deodorant. Lots of talk about his "musky pits." I'm very sensitive to scents and BO makes me gag (in a bad way).

He’s not 43. We discussed his ages the last time I saw him a couple of months ago. I think he was born in 82 or 83.

He's one of my favorites. I'd say he's close to 40 but in good shape. I don't get a conceited vibe from him. I find him very handsome but also a bit of a goofball. I find that endearing and relatable, which I think others who rave about him might enjoy as well. I see him on average once a month and we have a nice rapport.

I actually pay for convenience. My husband and I play together and are both very busy. Hiring saves us from hours and hours on the apps. 🤷🏻‍♂️

He's pretty but too young for me. I'm in the market for 35+.

That's a dealbreaker for me. I control the music no matter where I am.

This wasn't about beauty. It was about a hobbyist claiming a clearly fit young man was overweight. Eating disorders and body dysmorphia is skyrocketing among young men. Creating unattainable physical goals for men in our community is unhealthy.

Same here. I recently met him in the context of his day job, and I guess he does this as a side hustle when he has time and if he finds the client attractive.

I've had the pleasure and it was pretty great. drtynycman can bang you out but he's also respectful of your limits, understands you may need a break, etc. Good guy.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. How many threads do we need with the same six people saying they hate tattoos? Then dehumanize providers by treating them like they've "ruined" their bodies or looks with tattoos. We get it. You don't like tattoos. I'm not attracted to half the guys who people start threads about. But I don't say anything because it's a) not particularly interesting and b) I don't want to yuck other people's yum.

Most people I know who have tattoos enjoy the way they look on their skin. All of mine have sentimental or other meaning to me, which is pretty common, too. I certainly think some people overdo it, but I find the constant hemming and hawing over it by certain hobbyists to be tres annoying. Remember, you always have the choice to post nothing.

I've been doing this a little longer than you, and I definitely feel like seeing random new guys can be frustrating. So I've been tending to stick with a couple of regulars, whom I always enjoy. I know what I'm getting as do they. And, importantly, I genuinely like them as people. For me, that means if one of us is having an "off day", it's so much more forgivable because we enjoy each other's company. And as providers - particularly the young, beautiful and nearly always inexperienced - want to charge $350 for a massage, my regulars have kept their rates the same. So I always tip them in appreciation. I do sometimes enjoy the thrill of a new person, but I tend to save that for when I'm traveling or if none of my "go-to" guys are available.

Nothing is more of a "boner killer" to me than feeling like the other person isn't into it.

Hey Sam, Glad you came on here to share your side of the story. I see too many guys on here talk about providers like they're meat. So I can imagine what you have to tolerate. I've had only occasional sketchy interactions with providers. Mostly, they've been very good or sometimes awkward. But I always emphasize that we're all human and have good and bad days.

Yup.

This is why I tell you all I don't see sensual or erotic massage with straight guys or even most who advertise themselves as bisexual. Clearly, clients should respect all provider's boundaries. For me, even if a provider is willing to do HE or MT, if he's actually uncomfortable with it I will sense that, and be turned off. Now, if I just want a therapeutic massage, then I don't care about the SO of the provider.

Sure, it did. You're projecting your belief that people are unable to tolerate criticism onto me and others, despite no evidence because we think making insulting and dehumanizing comments about people's bodies is shitty.

Seems like a lot of projection to me.

No, I have many friends who have worked in fashion and related industries. They are known for being rampant with abuse, sexual harassment, low pay early in your career, etc. That you choose to normalize abuse is on you. I had a boss raise his voice to me once. Just the one time and my reaction ensured it never happened again.

Honey... I've been visibly queer since I am four years old. I literally had to fight off bullies for all of my schooling, I was called everything under the sun and sexually assaulted by straight guys. And I'm not only still standing, but I'm also a nationally recognized leader in my field, which involves me taking on powerful interests not negging sex workers on a website. When I've been in work situations where people tried to be abusive to me, I corrected them because I'm not going to be someone's doormat. And I stick up for people who are less confident than me. I love strong opinions. I love debate. I love locking horns with people I disagree with on matters of substance. But no matter how long you've lived in NYC, if you let people abuse you to "climb the ladder", you're telling on yourself. Some people (like me) experience abuse, unfairness, and systemic discrimination, and we say "This is unacceptable and I won't tolerate it for me or anyone else." Other people say "I've been treated badly and can't wait to amass enough power to abuse other people." Sounds like you're the latter.

I used to think that way. But then I realized I didn't need to say everything I thought. And I think criticism is fair when it regards things people can control. But commenting on a person's appearance, particularly their weight, height, or facial features, is just mean-spirited. I prefer men taller than me (6' or taller), but I don't go from thread to thread calling the providers "midgets." So I'm frank about my preferences while not insulting or dehumanizing anyone.

I'm a native NYer who grew up pretty poor. You will not find a more frank speaker than me. However, knowing that providers do check this site - in fact some moderate it - calling them "fat" or "ugly" or whatever is unnecessarily nasty. You could simply say "this person isn't my type" or just say nothing. And to be frank, you and your wife don't sound like people I'd want to spend time with. Again, as a NYer, we don't say shit behind your back that we wouldn't say to your face. So if you said one of my friends was fat, I would tell you that you're being an asshole.

This is just essentializing the incentives and markers of late-stage capitalism and patriarchy to some biological imperative. It's not. While biology plays a role, our desires are primarily shaped by our experiences, cultures, and psychology. All of these are also geographically and historically situated. For example, as recently as WWII, a man was not considered queer unless he bottomed. (See George Chauncey's Gay New York. In much the same way, how we discuss even physical characteristics are historically and culturally constructed. No one is saying we don't have your preferences and turn-ons. That's cool. What some of us object to is using degrading and dehumanizing language ("fat," "ugly," racial tropes, etc.) to describe providers. It's not that hard. People post about guys I don't find remotely desirable ALL THE TIME. And I don't comment on them. I feel no need to "yuck someone's yum" or to say nasty things about sex workers. If a client has a concern that the person they're going to meet with may look different, ask for a quick FaceTime or for them to send a current time stamped pic.

The person who posted referenced queer men which would be inclusive of bisexual, pansexual, questioning, etc.