KensingtonHomo

Everyone has their taste, but this group of men is my ninth circle of hell. I want nothing less than some 20-something "influencer, reality TV-famous for no reason" guy who thinks he's God's gift.

Trans people's lives are not a game. Aside from immigrants, they are the most demonized, dehumanized, and violently attacked minority in this country. Further, there is no such thing as a "natural born man." About 49 percent of babies are born more or less female; the same is true for males. But nearly two percent are born to some extent intersex. And among biological males and females, there is a range of hormone levels, second sex characteristics, etc. There is nothing natural about even the way most escorts look. Most are on special diets, work out six days a week, have their bodies waxed or shaved, have their hair colored, etc. That's not to disparage any of them. I color my hair, have tattoos, groom myself, etc. Rather, it is to point out that gender is a performance. No escort or "civilian" owes anyone else sex. But there's no need to disparage trans men while pretending that one's gender is "natural."

I've been with my husband for over 23 years. Intimacy is the opposite of sexual objectification. A common theme on here is that clients want a hyper-specific look, body, face, etc. I can't help but wonder if that exacting idea of beauty is carried over into their non-hiring lives. I have a millennial friend who is very good-looking and in good shape - a very cute otter type. He cannot get past a first date. He can have sex when he wants it, but he cannot find intimacy. When I hear people in their 20s and 30s talk about dating today, I want to run screaming into the streets. The ghosting, the passive-aggressiveness, and just flakiness that I believe is fueled mostly by technology eroding social norms, would be too much for me. That's the environment he's operating in. And, he is a 32-year-old man who mostly finds twinks who are 22-25 to be the sexually exciting type. Generally, those people are not ready for an intimate, enduring relationship. Men who prize beauty, muscle, and youth above personality, humor, and trust are not only setting themselves up to be dissatisfied with their partners but also to increasingly find themselves wanting as they age. We think we need sexual attraction, and that will lead to intimacy. That can happen. But many guys hit the eject button when the attraction starts to wane. For me, and others in multi-decade relationships, what I find to be true is that both attraction waxes and wanes over time, but intimacy grows. Intimacy can make your partner far hotter in their 50s than in their 20s or 30s.

I have to agree with the general point here. One of my frustrations of being a member here is the frequency with which other clients tear apart providers' looks. Regardless of what we all look like IRL, we stay anonymous here. I can tell you all that I'm an attractive guy, but you don't have 20 pictures of me to examine and pick apart. Yet lots of guys on here are really harsh about the appearance of providers. It's just unnecessary. And you would not say any of this to their faces. So stop it.

I come from an Irish Catholic family so I had seen many people fall into the trap of addiction and wanted no part of it.

That's wild. I would just show him the door at that point.

People thinking I was older had more to do with how I carried myself, spoke, my interests, etc. And people didn't think I was 10 years older. Instead, at 17-18, people often thought I was a college student, but it evened out in my late 20s. Then, because I'm fair-skinned, I've always avoided the sun, and I've had a killer moisturizer routine, so now people generally guess I'm in my late 30s to early 40s. I also stopped partying at 22 and drinking at 25, which, compared to family members at the same age, has made a big difference. I've been debating some minor filler because I've lost weight and some volume from my cheeks. I asked my (gay) dermatologist about Botox a couple of months ago. He said it was unnecessary since I don't have wrinkles.

I apologize @MuscSami for speculating about your age. I looked a bit older when I was your age, but thankfully, now I look younger than my age.

In New York, there's always a perception that there are more bottoms than tops but not to the LA extreme.

I'd say he's probably mid-30s. He's fair skinned, his hair is thinning, and having low body fat ages your face.

Canceling shortly before the appointment Inability to get/stay hard and refusing to acknowledge it Any hygienic issues Being doused in cologne

If you were working in NYC, did you charge for the 20 minute train ride? When I consult, I expect the time I spend traveling between cities to be covered, but I wouldn't charge to get from my hotel to their offices. Also, this provider cannot host, which I presume means he's staying with a friend, not renting a hotel. We could have come to him for an hour or two.

Yes, some providers are definitely adding inches to their height. We saw a guy recently who said he was 6' on his profile. I'm 5'11" and he was at best 5'9". I do think that gay male ideas of beauty are so stringent that many providers think that if they're outside of it, no one will hire them. So they fib. I also suspect they're trying to be included when people select 6' as their minimum height on RM. Same with age shaving. Now, I tend to prefer men taller than me, but someone being 5'9" if they were otherwise hitting all my desired traits wouldn't be a deal breaker.

I don't even haggle over price. I do consulting and my rates are not negotiable. The issue is that we want two hours, and the escort wants three, ostensibly because the distance he has to travel.

I want to be clear, this was all in the initial conversation. We didn't set a two-hour session, and then he came back with three after we'd confirmed.

I'm curious what other clients and providers think of this situation. We're looking to hire this weekend, and none of our regulars are available. I've been chatting with a couple of guys, including one who is visiting this weekend. He's a bit younger than we usually go for (late 20s), but seems very experienced and mature. We live in Brooklyn, about 25-30 minutes outside of Manhattan. He doesn't seem to be able to host. So we initially discussed a two-hour visit at $400/hour. That seems reasonable, especially if he's traveling to us. He then responded that, given the distance, he wants three hours. I have two issues here. First, I don't want three hours. That's too long, especially for someone we've never met. Second, I don't like a hard sell. To me, spending 30 minutes traveling to and from an appointment where you make $800 is a pretty sweet deal. So the insistence on a third hour just feels greedy. Thoughts?

What's "WPB in The Season?"

The gag is I don't even look 40. And it's not because of fillers or botox. Alas, I do not think me and @pubic_assistance will ever have a grudge fuck. 🤣

I have no issue being compared to Ian McKellen. I hope to grow into a sassy old queen.

My commentary in defending older clients? I feel like my commentary is in line with being a Gen Xer. For the record, I'm three years younger than you. I suspect I came out younger than you so maybe that's the vibe?

I included you because your initial comment struck me as you having discomfort with anal sex. You later went into more detail about your STI concerns, which shifted my perception. Now, not specific to you but being a huge slut does not mean people are without shame. Some people who are acting out sexually carry a ton of shame. I enjoy your shade in suggesting I'm older than you. But based on what you've said about your life, I'm around five years younger.

I texted him Saturday with a bit of background asking if he was available. He asked when I was looking for and I said this coming weekend. And he's not responded since.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much. Honestly, this was not meant in any way as an attack on you or Short. I was calling out a general situation that many of our generation experience.

He's far too muscular for me. So the tattoos do enhance his appearance as they make him somewhat desirable to me. Not enough to hire him, but zero body fat, steroid-enhanced bodies are not appealing to me.

That's worth exploring for both you and @pubic_assistance. Queer men carry around a lot of internalized sexual shame from religion, the AIDS epidemic, etc. I'm not suggesting you change your safer sex practices. But feeling like there's something "icky" about your sexual partners or the kind of sex you desire may be harming you emotionally. Being raised Catholic, I'm still excavating my issues around sexual shame, but overall, my relationship to sex is much better than it was 20 years ago.