KensingtonHomo

I’m not surprised that those two go together. I have found in my career that if someone doesn’t want to pay what I quote, if I agree to a discounted rate, it’s usually the beginning of being nickel and dimed the entire time.

You need to keep my handle out of your posts. We already litigated this over a year ago. As the screenshots you shared upthread prove, it had nothing to do with you having a different price for couples. It was your insistence that it be you and your friend. You never offered to meet with the two of us. Rather, when you asked if us having to include your friend was a dealbreaker, we said it was. And then you decided not to see us because we were not interested in your friend. No one said you flaked or ghosted. Instead, we wanted to hire you. Your insistence that your friend be included - and that we pay him - was brought up the day we were supposed to meet. The whole point of this forum is to share information about experiences with providers. I shared my experience, which was similar to that of at least two other clients. So, yeah, clients should know that you have a history of wanting to include your friend in appointments. If that's how you want to work, just be upfront about it. Put it in your ad. No one would object to that.

I do not negotiate. I ask the price and if it is not within my budget I thank them and move on. However, as @peter831 mentioned, the provider will counteroffer more than half the time. This is VERY uncomfortable to me. I deal with vendors as part of my work and I'm happy to negotiate with big companies - who are often overcharging - but I do not do that with small businesses or freelancers. I'm curious what @ProudWhore and other providers think of those whose prices seem flexible. Are they giving clients the wrong impression?

We're aiming for France and Italy next year so I'll report back on our field research.

I'm quite surprised by this. Perhaps the decline of visible cases of men dying from AIDS due to the cocktail has made younger guys believe it's no longer a concern. I always found the advertising for the AIDS meds and the focus on U=U to be nefarious of Pharma and maybe misguided from community groups. Yes, we want to end stigma and give people facts but this makes me think we've oversold it to the point where people aren't concerned about sero-converting.

My experience is that in the US and Europe, PreP is very common and condom use is very low. We did have providers in Greece use them. However, in Mexico, all but one provider insisted on using condoms even when they were topping. I suspect PreP is not as accessible or common in Mexico, hence the condom use.

Being an SA survivor makes my views more valid than ChatGPTs or yours or that matter. I never said SA required extreme violence. In fact, two of mine didn't include physical violence. Nor did I belittle anyone else's experience. What happened to Brazillian Cutie is awful but he did, in fact, consent to the sex. What happened in his case was "theft of services." He provided a service and was not paid for it. Based on what he said, he was not coerced, threatened or manipulated. The "client" stole his fee by failing to pay it. If he provided any other service and the client didn't pay you wouldn't claim he was sexually assaulted.

No, let’s ask SA survivors, who will mostly reject this technical definition being conflated with being held down and fucked, being cornered with weapons, or being drugged and waking up violated. Honestly, using ChatGPT to try and override an SA survivor is some ugly nerd Reich shit.

You should hope you’re never revealed. While what happened to Brazilian is terrible, it’s not sexual assault. Conflating the two is incredibly dismissive of those of us who have been raped or sexually assaulted.

You didn't list any "turn-ons;" only turn-offs. And you're far from the only one. Some guys on here want to hire a 23-year-old and then are scandalized when they portray themselves as a young person by sticking out their tongue or giving the finger. Then there's the constant harping about tattoos as if we're debating whether someone can be buried in a Jewish cemetery rather than fucking. Almost 50% of people under 50 have at least one tattoo - so they've dismissed half the providers based on something arbitrary and widespread. I have four tattoos, none of which are visible when I'm dressed. I imagine meeting these guys, having a drink, they're into me and vice versa and then we start taking clothes off and they're horrified by my tattoos. It's funny to consider. It's also never happened. I see guys with tattoos that I find to be too much or ill-conceived, and that may play a role in my decision-making. But it's not a primary driver.

Why not just say you want a polite, smooth twink/jock who wears tighty whiteys? I don't understand the need to point out all the things one dislikes. It makes folks sound dull and close-minded.

As a native NYer, most of us avoid NYE because it's "amateur night." I'd recommend you look for a local who is less likely to be partying on NYE, who is well reviewed and experienced. If you have a type, maybe some of us can make recommendations.

Some providers don't require a deposit. We met with two of them yesterday. It will just limit who you can hire.

I don’t think the deposit is connected to the rest of it. Deposits are to show a client is serious; put some skin in the game. I will send $50 to secure an appointment but I won’t send half. Unfortunately, there are people who I doubt are genuine clients who waste providers’ time. In my experience, it’s only ever for the first meeting. The other requests or unwanted attention sucks too, but if it’s not serious a provider can block them. They can’t get back 2-3 hours they’ve put aside for a client that doesn’t show up.

Yeah. Some clients post wild stuff on here that proves they're not right.

Since I have literally shared my experience once on this forum, to have paragraphs and paragraphs written as some apologia/self-exoneration is a bit much. As I never intended to see Angus again, I didn't keep our messages. If I came across as "snarky" it was because Angus asked me to delete my comment. The point of this forum is to share our experiences, which is what I did. If everyone deletes their unpleasant experiences, we end up with a false portrait of providers. I did not search the forum for his name to write a comment that might hurt his reputation or business. When his name came up, and input was requested, I shared mine. The vast majority of my commentary here is positive or in defense of providers when clients are being unrealistic or mean-spirited. It was a subpar experience. Does that make @AngusStevensxxx a poor provider or a bad person? No. Do those facts change my experience? No. Did I end up bleeding in his bathroom? Yes. My primary concern with Angus' response here is that he exonerates himself while claiming to take responsibility. I "asked him" to behave that way. He "gave us a discount." Clearly, my post hasn't harmed his business (not that it was my intent), since he's had many clients jump to his defense. What I do and encourage others to do is take all the information available on a provider and make their decision based on that. For me, I will no longer share subpar experiences on main. I will share it in DMs where providers will have no opportunity to respond. In fact, this is what most clients do already, and now I understand why.

I started having gay sex at 13 and came out at 16. Since most of my 20s were during the height of the AIDS crisis, I very cautious about sex and could count on my fingers how many partners I had up to 25. I got sober that year and it made me braver. HIV was also becoming more of a treatable disease tho I still practiced safer sex. I met my husband when I was 28 and we’ve been together ever since. We were monogamous with room for erotic massages together or separately after we married. In Spain one of those massagers turned into a full on threesome. And we loved it! All the fears we had about jealousy or envy fell away. We ended up hiring another escort before we left Spain. Over the past 6 years, we’ve hired in spirts while also meeting some guys in person - especially while on vacation- and used the apps from time to time. The apps - as many of you know are pretty awful. And it’s even harder for a couple especially since we’re not into the whole “daddies” vibe. And mostly we’re hit on by guys in their 20s who want to bottom for us. It’s just not our scene. So we hire on average once or twice a month, and a bit more when traveling. We’ve had mostly really good experiences with a few duds. We tend to have one or two guys that we see for a few months and then sometimes they stop working or the thrill is gone. Sometimes we find ourselves wanting to experience a guy we haven’t seen in a while which is fun. Overall, it’s been a great addition to our sex life. We still enjoy just being together as well and hiring has improved that because it makes us communicate more.

Girl... I'm not watching all that. If you have something to say, just say it.

We watched Crashing before Bridgerton came out and I never made the connection. May have to rewatch. JB is super sexy in "Fellow Travelers" - which you can stream now. It stars him and Matt Bomer (whom I never found remotely appealing UNTIL he plays a dom in FT) as a couple during the McCarthy era. It's really well done and follows their on-again; off-again from the 50s to the 1980s.

Increasingly convinced you're not a provider. You don't engage meaningfully with clients. You just post snark, which isn't doing you or your colleagues any good. If you represent what "providers are too scared to admit to your face," it's a real turn off to hiring in general. Thankfully, there are real providers on here who counteract your bad faith posts.

My husband and I started hiring in 2019. Our first time was in Spain. I believe the rate was 150 euros. After COVID, when it was safe to hire again, we were getting $300-$350/hour. Now, it's not uncommon to come across relatively new guys (with recent profiles and no reviews) asking for $500/hour. That's a 40% increase in rates in about 4 years. Over the same period, cumulative inflation is about 25%. And that inflation affects clients and providers alike. It's not for me to say how much a provider charges, but it's not surprising that some clients are turning their noses up at such a steep rate increase. It's definitely deterring us from trying new guys. First, because our regulars have kept their prices consistent. Second, because a lame $500 appointment feels worse than a lame $300 appointment.

I've contacted him a few times with zero response. I've heard this is not uncommon.

If anything I’m probably more critical of my appearance than is realistic. And both me and my husband get complimented frequently by providers. We also don’t hire ripped guys in their 20s, so I tend to think the compliments are genuine. But I also think we (as men and then as gay men) put entirely too much emphasis on appearance- even when hiring. I’ve lived long enough to know that anyone can get laid. But not everyone can get laid by “a 10.” But in my experience - across hiring; hooking up, and dating - many people who are conventionally extremely hot are not particularly good lovers. Attraction is unpredictable. It’s not just what you can see with your eyes. There’s pheromones. Depth and timbre of someone’s voice. And then there’s charm and charisma; neither of which are captured in a photo. One of our consistent regulars is younger than I’m generally attracted to - in his 20s - and he’s thin and somewhat athletic but he has a little tummy. I suspect he may have been overweight in his teens. But he is absolutely incredible in bed. He’s both intense and easy going. We enjoy talking to him before and after. So take the compliments; perhaps you’re being graded on a sliding scale. Or perhaps you’re just this guy’s type. And don’t overthink it.

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This is key. Whoever is offering services has the right to establish their boundaries up to and including during the session. Clients need to take providers at their word and NOT try to pressure them into other things. In this particular case, @ProudWhore should block this guy because he's not respecting the clear boundaries.