JB_Studio38

Red flag 🚩 right here. Any provider asking you to stop and pick up something whether an x box gift card, poppers, etc. proceed with caution. Unless it’s someone like me with a verified set of reviews and website. Clients have asked me to pick up stuff for them, but I always get a deposit before buying anything: whether it’s a hotel room or “extras”

For me…desire

Funny is: I’ve met the Prima Donna guy a few times. He’s great in person, but turns into this Mr. Hyde bitch over texts. It was exactly why I stopped dealing with him for over 6 months. He hits me up again last month, and I’m thinking okay; I’ll give him another chance. But considering his age, some people just don’t change. I feel like after 40, whatever way a guy is: it’s always going to be that way. Only thing I can do is deal with them, in a way that I best deal with them. In the case of the Karen prima Donna: I told him, if you want to keep canceling invites to your place, I’m not coming back. You make the effort and see me sometimes. That’s how these Kansas City clients are. They either can never host, or they ONLY want to host and are impatient as hell when they are hosting lol. Maybe they need to hire a Kansas City football player and see how much they’ll charge. My $1,000 inconvenience rate will seem like pennies compared to what they’d charge. $50,000 just to suck their dick 😂

I was so ready to block him but, I was like: let me respond educatedly instead and flip the paradigm. I showed up, but he was a Royal bitch the whole process. At one point rushing me to get there by a certain time when he had no plans after the session, despite HIM dragging the whole process out longer than what was needed 🤦🏾‍♂️ When I visit cities with lots of SERIOUS non-complicated clients, I don’t give bullshit the time of day. They will be erased and replaced immediately. Sometimes I don’t see how people carry a full time job and deal with these people. It would be too much. Unless, those with regular jobs are more quick to block and ignore people like that if the money is just supplementary

No it’s not, you’re just focusing on the neg click bait stuff…but I say plenty of positive and encouraging things throughout the board. You are having a problem, with a discussion and then have the audacity to make up a bold face lie saying “no wonder you get no clients”.…who the hell told you that? And you also erroneously assume that I can control client’s erratic behavior and conversations, based on a response: when many times they are the ones creating the drama 90% of the time. For example, just yesterday I had to read this bullshit from 2 separate clients: Client A: I had to bite my tongue SOOOOOO HARD in this exchange. In fact I wrote him a couple texts (one telling him to fuck off and that I’m reporting his screenname to RM for harassment) and deleted it, so tried as hard as possible to be professional. Because in my town, few of the clients are ever serious…and I have to deal with the bullshit until I leave town. We ended up meeting up, but guess what? He was trying to get me to take the condom off. And I was like NOPE, if you don’t believe I’m clean then it’s best to play safe. How the fuck??? lol And then here, my regular male “Karen” client who was on his THIRD cancellation since I took him off my blocked list couple weeks ago: Now the guy above: I’ve had the discussion with him last time in person: he lives an hour away from me, and I can’t always drop everything to meet him right away. He also had the chance to meet me Saturday, and we HAD A TIME in mind, and he cancelled on that because he was in a “funky mood”. This mother fucker constantly changes his tune, yet then expects me to be attentive and responsive everytime he perks into the mood. I swear he’s bipolar or manic depressive or something. But after that, I told him I’m not available to come to his house next time because this been the THIRD TIME he’s invited me over and cancelled. This mofo has the nerve to reply back: I think you, @BostonDadType need to stop living in this denial that certain providers don’t have to deal with A LOT of annoying man child behavior on a regular basis. You can’t seem to wrap your head around it because, you think positivity breeds positivity. Not necessarily in all cases. And the only reason I give these people half a time of day is because, I have a very limited pool of clients to work with in my area. 9/10 are flakes, low ballers, only want to pay crack whore rates…or like someone said previously: 1999 rates 😆 They think $150 should get full service bareback and massage 🤦🏾‍♂️ That’s the problem: I’m NOT always free. And also, you’re under the impression that money can be used to bypass a person’s boundaries. I just had a conversation with someone earlier on this exact subject: I don’t let clients book me last minute or same day all the time because…I may have OTHER OBLIGATIONS in place. I can’t break those obligations on the basis of money. I used to do it, and I’ve lost friends, potential long term lovers, etc. So now, I rarely do it unless I literally am just in a hotel and ready. And like I’ve told you and the whole forum a MILLION TIMES: every fucking time I do that, nobody calls. EVER. Nobody is ever ready at the same damn time. That’s why things need to be arranged ahead of time. I have stayed in hotel after hotel, apartment after apartment, air bnb after air bnb “available now” and no client is available until I decide to make plans. Instead of playing that game, I rather just make people book in advance. The “ready now let’s fuck” for gay sex in 5 minutes notice, is something that was created years ago in public parks and bath houses. People need to pull their heads out their ass and realize not every gay man, whether free or for pay, wants to connect like that anymore. If guys can plan everything else in their life, for everybody else, then they should be able to do it with hookups too. I don’t want to hear excuses or devils advocates. And starting today, I’m charging extra $25 for same day appointments, PERIOD!

Again, it’s not that I’m not taking the advice. However I also have the option to reply back if I feel something doesn’t accurately describe a situation. Some of you need to stop with the “I need to listen” commands. The way it comes off is like you are my superiors. Just because someone makes a statement about something, doesn’t mean I have no say in disagreeing with it. And yes if someone lies/exaggerates and says I’m not getting any business, then yes I reserve the right to correct them. And once again, if you read the situations I describe objectively: you’ll see it’s not just me or what I am or not doing. It’s a bigger picture. There’s other people saying similar elsewhere in the internet space: and then another: I think what you and some others need to do: is stop being so critical and act like I’m the problem for every issue I bring up. If you not coming with any specific advice to the topic (e.g. tell guys you charge an extra $100 for same day bookings), and only coming here to try and put me in my place: then don’t expect me to just sit back and “take it” without no say on anything☝

Reminds me of a time I cash app requested a client for $1,000 after his several-th time contacting for a booking and not following thru. He’s like, “did you send me a request for $1,000?” Yes I did… for at least 4-5 requests ghosted. He laughed and blocked me. Good riddance, job accomplished. Some of these guys deserve to be charged $1,000. The level of impatience some of them have is sickening. Yet, when I need an answer they wait days, months to return a message.

At this point, I feel 250 is the least I’m willing to do calls for anymore. Anything less is not worth it to me, and even when some do get it for less than that price, they don’t meet often enough to justify it. Some do it for a quick fix, and then don’t reappear for another year down the line. I’m trying hard not to just say fuck it: everything is $500 minimum. Won’t make a difference if it’s massage or full on f-ing: time is time regardless. I get tired of having constantly be gaslit and haggled over prices. I know my worth. I know what I need to maintain. $200 is not going to maintain and traveling provider who has ads, hotels, living expenses, and the whole gamut. That’s just money to pay 1 bill and maybe go grocery shopping. And I have to be seeing more than 1 of those a day, to turn a profit. Yet then some want to bring up “are you clean/disease free?” When it comes time for me to pay my dues, I don’t have time be sitting around arguing over the difference between $150-$200-$250 🤷🏾‍♂️

One thing I wish many clients would understand: don’t try to come around months later expecting someone to be charging to same price that you FLAKED OUT on in the past. For example, there’s imbecile who has the audacity to bring up a previous conversation that he never bothered to show up for: That is why I’m moving my rates up. The less I have to deal with these cheapskate imbeciles who think $150 and $200 is a universal rate, the better. Only consistent regulars deserve discounts! And I’m not talking about some random who only comes around once or twice a year and think he’s a deserving of a discount. If you local, you need to be meeting every couple weeks or at least once a month.

I’ll just add another thing regarding price points and stuff: I’m reaching a stage where I don’t know if $200/$250 sessions are sustainable much longer. Even though RentMasseur is supposed to be geared towards massages, truth is a lot of people go there looking for “other” services. The issue is: some are willing to pay $500, the majority seem to expect $60, $80, $100. $150 max. The problem this presents for me is: if I’m going to appease the lower end of the rates, I have to be taking much higher volume than I’ve been seeing in the past couple years. It used to be okay in the Craigslist days to have clients calling and texting daily, and I had an open in-call space to host from. However the issue with volume is, the wear and tear (not literal) on my body and health. That means I have to be traveling often, and taking clients one after the next. And in conversing with a member here the other day, all that hotel staying sometimes leads to random illness here and there, which is the worst to happen during a trip. I’ve also had a helluva time trying to find discreet enough apartments in St. Louis area (many are built where the neighbors door is right next to each other) and I’m not into multi-level buildings due to the moving and even grocery inconvenience it causes. The location I share now is very discreet and easy, but I can’t have 2-3 clients a day in and out with a part time roommate. And then, when I offer promotional sessions, people aren’t always jumping on it right away. I might get one or 2, and only when I’m available right that moment to take it. Like this past week: I got hit with a $1,000 repair repair bill: yet I had 0 bookings last week. I had to use money set aside up from previous bookings to cover it. Now I’m setback and have to somehow try to come back up again, and make that money back. And I know it’s unlikely to happen in my local area because all the ecstatic Kansas City fans are spending money to go to Las Vegas or host Super Bowl parties, so I need to once again plan a tour. I feel the best solution is to transition to somewhere between $350 to $500 for a meet. Not an “hour”, a meet. Simply because I know most clients only want to stay for an hour or 2. Whether they want stay an hour, 90 minutes or 2: $500 is generally sufficient hypothetically. Only thing, I would hate to alienate some of the younger clients out there who wish to meet, but for them I’d have to probably come up with some sort of compromise. Maybe “$100 off for clients under 30 lol” similar to how nightclubs charge under 21 extra to get in, but in my case they’d be eligible for a discount. Plus hotels are too goddamn expensive anymore. Couple weeks ago I hosted a regular, and I did ask him for $500 because: the hotel was $89+taxes and a $100 deposit. So basically came up to over $200. So how the fuck am I going to host a client for $150/$200/$250 when when many hotels are sucking up $200 right off the bat? It’s crazy. It’s very expensive to be a provider and people don’t understand that. It’s infuriating at times. I remember years ago, a client of mine somehow included his ATM receipt with the payment in the envelope. I remember him being generous but, he had like $27,000 in his bank account balance. I wasn’t mad but, it would make me livid to know a client doesn’t want to pay $500 versus $250, and sitting with $20,000+ in the bank account. I don’t even have $2,500 in mine right now 🤷🏾‍♂️ I know that’s deep stuff some people don’t want to know but, people need to understand why some of us do what we do. I can’t speak for everyone, and I’m certainly not normalizing $350+: but after the many years I been in the scene, I just feel I deserve it for every session.

Sometimes I wonder the same myself. Idk how often people here go out but: there’s just not as many guys out here, especially American: escorting as much as you’d think. It looks very filled on the websites, but just an average night going out to bars or gay pool parties: it’s become so uncommon to run into another escort, that I rarely bring it up much in public. At least not in the region I’m in. You see them, but you almost have to look for them. Whereas lately the closest many guys get to sex work, is Instagram modeling and onlyfans. And some of them don’t even work with other guys, it’s just them doing solo things.

It’s unfortunate that some people deal with such things. However toxicity is one of those things that are just out there in the gay world 🌎 It’s not just clients and providers but all across the board. You can run into the same things meeting guys the conventional way. It’s so bad in Kansas City area that, majority of the gay dudes at the bars and hookup apps are on drugs or something. I rarely ever get to meet them outside of a bedroom, because they’re too busy getting clucked out all night and go into hiding during the day. I think that’s why the client scene out here is lacking. The well off people with money don’t even support the trade at all here. I manage to get a few here and there because my presentation, but even that isn’t much to thrive off. The important part is to just be discerning. That’s why even though some think it’s amusing or accurate to say I’m not getting any clients: I’m not really all that offended. That would be misinformed, however to an extent it is correct: My door 🚪 doesn’t need to be open for every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants to walk thru.

Let’s be clear; I am not native of this area. And the only reason I’m even here is due to extenuating circumstances. If it were any other city: I would not be making repeat visits. Some markets get very limited visits from me. I just don’t deal with certain cities. However It’s just where one of the markets I service, and due to the above mentioned issues: I try to travel frequently….

I just want to readdress this line again. Let’s not go there with the assumptions about why someone is or isn’t getting appointments. I’ve discussed this in full many times across the board. It often has way more to do than just a website and deposit. Like I’ve said, things are in a weird place in a different time right now. Years ago, when I started: I used to be able to get guys to book me left and right, and all I had was a grainy webcam photo and didn’t use paid sites until a few months in. I was just getting started during the hayday period for gay escorting sites. Things are different now. My location has changed, websites have changed, rates and economy have changed. I also live in a conservative area: not to rehash the same old topic but, lot of guys here are either low budget and don’t want to pay, or they only want to patronize a certain “type”. I won’t throw race in there, but it’s often a factor. All I mainly see traveling here are White and Latino escorts. I believe the Black and “non-White/Latin” escorts here are working with a very limited pool of clients. THAT is why I don’t have as many appointments as I want. Not because of having a website. Let’s just clarify that. I’ve seen first hand how things go. It doesn’t matter if I was “available now” and charging $100. Or nothing at all. Some areas, the gay scene treats escorts with no respect or regard. They don’t want to pay, they just want free free free. I see it all the time in my local area. I have to regularly “coax” guys into booking, even when they say dismissive things about sex workers. Like I said: I’ve done the easy stuff and it didn’t work because people took advantage and took for granted. Now I have to do things differently, and anyone who “runs” probably would do that even if I did make it easy.

Almost sounds similar to a friend I know. He spent something like almost a year in jail due to some petty family dispute that just blew up into a full fledge felony. I had to kinda be like a counselor thru that whole time while also trying not to directly blame him for what happened. Like in the case of where someone said: “his girlfriend put him jail”….well not really. She might have been the facilitator but, ultimately it comes down to how the system works and controlling one’s own action. And the golden rule for every man: If you can avoid problems with a woman, avoid it. Doesn’t matter if it’s family or your girlfriend. I only trust women around me for select periods of time. I don’t even like to be around gay dudes who spend too much time around various women, unless it’s a real close friend who’s trustworthy (some make great wingwomen lol). It’s sad though, like I said in another (now closed) thread: the system is real. Some people can’t stay out of it but: too often it’s a default solution. Fortunately my friend has gotten back on his feet, and I think my counseling and sending links of online resources have helped. I always try to include: I’m not perfect and dealing with hurdles of my own.

I just wanted to clarify: I never said or implied I’m getting no appointments. My website has been up now going on 2 years. It has made a difference in my life for the better. Prior to that, I was the one going crazy. Now, in no attempt to “disregard” your advice: However, I still feel it’s best to state how I prefer to do things. Yes, a consultation of $25 I feel is reasonable, and many clients have sent one. I think too many times, especially at the start of our career: we like to sound fun and bubbly and talk about how hot and fun we are. That’s great to do on the ads. But, we also get limited real estate to mention everything. There’s a not a lot character count on sites like Adam and RentMen. And I’d say majority of the times: people don’t read the ads and it’s evident when I allow my number to be displayed: they contact asking for rates. Even though the link to my site is there in my ad. Also the paragraphs you quoted are spread out over different pages. Not all in the same page. I make updates to my website every so often, and try to make it easy and quick to read without leaving out important details. I know it’s not state of the art but, it’s from professional templates that I took the time to modify and edit to my desires. I won’t say names, but just last month I had the assistant of a musician who booked me for his client and went to my website. So obviously I’m doing something right 🤷🏾‍♂️ I get that, but like I said: people don’t read ads. When I relied on that, I couldn’t get everything I wanted to say. RentMen cuts the profile writing off at a certain point…which requires clients to click anyway. Also the “available now” green light will have people in any city I’m advertised in thinking I’m available Now. Then you have to click see more to view the rest. So I try to put what I can that is most important, while still including a little bit of enticing details. However if people are using Rent.Men, you’ll see it’s more laid out.

Well the latter can be the case regardless. I’ve had available now on and could be ready to see a client short notice and guess what? Either nobody calls or they flake. Operating out of desperation is not an ideal position to be in. Accepting whatever and everything that comes thru the phone isn’t either. I’ve done the no rules, no deposits/advance bookings thing before. And I still do, IF it’s very very easy and I feel like it. Like, they’re just down the street or they have a real good reason for being unable to do at least one or the other. No deposit? Okay let me verify the hotel you’re at. But…having guidelines and boundaries is better for longevity and sustainability. When you’ve been in it for as long as I have: you’ve just about seen it all and done it all. And I see it all the time. Like a friend of mine, he was about to dash out the door to meet some guy off an app he just met. I was like, hmm that seems quite last minute. Sure enough, other dude stopped responding. Then some have the audacity to not want to exchange numbers. Every time I have allowed myself to meet someone like that, something bad happens. It’s like, they’re trying to hide something, or they are being shady and distrustful. Not necessarily clients per say, but just gay hookups in general.

No they wouldn’t. Most everybody has an iPhone. Apple Pay. All we have to do is normalize it, and mitigate the scammers or no shows. If someone won’t book a reputable provider due to a deposit, then they probably not serious about paying at all.

Well like I said, some providers probably say that because they feel or have seen clients who book in advance and don’t keep the appointment. In cases like that, that’s why it’s best to include a deposit WITH the advanced booking. Even today, I was expecting someone to book tonight at his hotel based on the request last night. I said I needed deposit by noon today to confirm. I follow back up and he’s saying he is working and then few hours later, can’t make it. But here’s the thing: he was the one who said he wanted “tomorrow night”. That’s probably why some guys don’t take advanced bookings, but I don’t think only being available “now” is the solution for everyone. Plus I’ve done the “come right now” guys, and most those fuckers don’t show up either 🤦🏾‍♂️ They lie and bullshit and will go as far as getting hotel info, or saying they are at some hotel and yet never show or include full booking details. That’s why I will never go back to not collecting deposits and definitely not going to be on call 24/7 waiting on somebody. I had to tell a return client the other day: I texted him 2 days in a row asking him to confirm. No response. The first time he booked ahead and sent deposit. 2nd time, he texts me at almost 11 p.m. saying can I come over and fuck. I’m like, no dude. I am not available short notice. I was already on my way home from another area of town. To see him, I would have needed to turn back around and go to the next county to meet him. I almost wanted to, but why go out of my way when he couldn’t be bothered to respond in the first damn place 🤔

Well this I already know. Plus there’s things brewing in the P word that seems all people and the news talks about. That said, I wish things like that and inflation wouldn’t affect people’s interest as much. He’s just on his, I look like a hippie but am a millionaire look lol. I’ve seen that before.

lol, a lot has changed since Baywatch lol I’d do 🍆 either version of Momoa though. Blame WWE, MMF and Hollywood for this trending muscular tattoo culture 😂 I can understand this too. Sucks when it’s a regular or things in a city used to be busy, but it’s dead. I suppose that’s just how it goes. I personally feel the market is in a weird place though. RentMen is great for what they are doing, but I kinda wish there was more promotion of “high end” providers or guys who have been in it awhile. RentMen is everything from rookies to veterans, but there’s no prices to really distinguish any from each other.

The only thing though, is it ends up being both a loss 🥺 Like the other day, if I didn’t meet a client last minute during the day, I woulda missed out on 500. Granted it’s just “money”, and this person I’ve met before and technically I was in my “available today” moment, but the time he wanted was a bit earlier than I could easily do on short notice. Which is no big deal, but I have to tell them in person: Glad you made it but I need advance notice next time because of (insert reasons why I usually need at least 2 to 4 hours minimum notice IF I can even do a same day booking at all). And in the city I service, these guys hardly ever book in advance no matter how many times I say I have to plan ahead. It seems in some towns, they only want to see an escort when they are horny or on drugs. Rarely something to plan for. Or everything revolves around the wife, and they only hit me up if she gives him some last minute free time. Once or twice every few months. It’s infuriating. Meh, I think majority of those (not all) may just be doing this thing in the moment…similar to how some clients do the same. Meeting only clients who are “ready to go” means waiting around for hours doing nothing. Who has time for that? I don’t…because I could wait around for hours, as I’ve done before, and nothing happens. I rather be able to get stuff done, and then arrange things with some coordination. As for delayed messages, people do that a lot too. Sometimes though it’s a matter of waiting for an update in schedule, for some people. Like example: I’ve had people reach out for a city I’m planning to visit, but unexpectedly had issue with car last week. I was able to message a couple clients letting them know I’m being delayed, but that I don’t know yet what day for sure until I get this situation handled. Then they don’t reply back, as if I knew it was going to happen and can get it handled faster than ones who have it 🤷🏾‍♂️

As often stated: how someone portrays themselves around another (you) in a business setting, might not necessarily be the same character “behind scenes”. I find it a bit dubious 🤨 to say a person or people have a “can do attitude” and grateful to be here and not blaming the system, but yet continues to remain here illegally. Of course if someone is overstaying their visa or whatever isn’t going to blame the system, because they’re beating it. 🤷🏾‍♂️ I used to be close to a couple Nicaraguan guys in Miami years ago. Sure they had great work ethic and never complained much about the “system” but, they would switch tune at the drop of a dime and had plenty of drama of their own. PLENTY. They also stayed close within those similar to them; Spanish fluent, neighborhoods where English wasn’t required, etc. I’d go back years later, and they were still there in Little Havana and South Miami. So nobody can persuade me and imply migrants are likely to be more ambitious and appreciative than the natives.

What do you find best conveys that and does it actually work? I know I said I’m stepping back posting new threads, but this…I feel is looked over often. I’ve had to turn down 2 bookings this past week because they want it too short notice. Then when attempt to reschedule, they aren’t available again for a week or never. It’s like hmm 🤔, how is it that I have to be ready right then, but they can’t make much time for me when I’m available 🤨 And funny thing, I’m not advertising bottom services (no diss to any but I know many need time to “prepare”) but I still find on most days I need at least 2 to 4 hours notice before I am ready to meet a client. I’m just not able to be in escort mode 24/7. Other times I either have to commute to a hotel that I booked to host, or travel across town to a client I’ve never been: which can easily add an extra hour or 2 depending how far I have to go. Some people manage to understand it and always book ahead: others will book in advance one time; but then try to do it last minute the next time. Who said anything changed 🤷🏾‍♂️ I also try to explain the “available now” green light: it doesn’t always mean available now, for me. It means I’m available to take booking requests for that day. So I just turn it on when I know I’m likely to have time to set up a booking that day. Though it still doesn’t equate to a client being ready to meet at that moment of time anyway. Many times I’m not able to turn down same day bookings in my area because: They either won’t be available for awhile, or just visiting for limited time. But if it’s like “now” or the oft requested mid day bookings between 1 and 3 pm: I usually can never do it unless it’s requested with notice or they are nearby. I know there’s reasons why some clients have to book short notice; but this is more about avoiding having to do that if possible.

Not necessarily. I mean think about it: New York guys, who have like an million escorts are charging what? Meanwhile the small fly over towns with no competition, can’t expect to get $400/hour. And just for the record: no diss to migrants but if that competition affects providers rates, best believe it may affect in other ways. If (in theory) a migrant worker is willing to do a particular job for less, that (in theory) could affect yours or others pay as well. However, as been mentioned: it doesn’t necessarily equate to migrant guys=lower rates. $300 is high even in Denver. I know for a fact, for a long time many clients in Denver never wanted to pay more than $100-$150 back when I lived there in 2010s. It’s gone up a little bit over the years, but not by much.