JB_Studio38

Well for me, when I’m moving my ads in different areas…it’s almost hard not to notice the other ads. I don’t always go counting but, I can definitely differentiate between a place with 2-3 guys versus one with like 50 where my ad may or may not always show on the “featured porn star” page. I can occasionally note the difference in terms of getting bookings as well. For example, came to one small-ish town the other day: reached out to a previous guy let him know I was coming, he booked me for the next day right away…confirmed and all was set. Most of the busier markets, many seem to already have their buffet of lays lol. But I also know how being the new guy visiting can make a big difference. Did content with a guy the other day in my other home base where it’s been slow for weeks, and he apparently had bookings in/out of his room and he only stayed couple nights. I was like, ha…funny how things work. Of course, he had a lower entry rate of $150 and not sure what all he would do for that amount. He was also readily available for incalls, which is pretty much all that Kansas City area clients want to do (at least in St. Louis more clients are willing to host…or I can host from my friend’s guest room).

Was talking to him the other day and he said he had browsed RentMen for the first time in awhile, and said he couldn’t believe how packed it was with guys advertising in town (and referring to a relatively medium sized/conservative city). Does anyone feel there’s more advertisers than available clients lately? Or can it be more of a speculative observation?

I’m officially calling bullshit on the “fell asleep” excuse. Unless the person is using drugs or sedatives…which is usually the case. I can understand falling asleep and not hearing an UNEXPECTED text or call, but for an appointment? Nah. I had someone do that to me the other night, not a client…but one of my fuck buddy friends. #1 I don’t believe him and #2 even if I did believe him, it’s like: why would you fall asleep mid-text when I say I’m on my way? And #3 that’s a waste of my time and gas especially at night. And I’ll also say: for every response here I’ll just mention, sometimes people talk about how the best masseurs/escorts are busy and don’t complain: but those are the same guys who are scheduling 10 clients in one day, and only making time for 1 or 2. But the gullible guys who think, “oh I’ll go with him, he doesn’t charge a deposit NOR require screening or advance notice, sounds easy I’ll book with him”…and then get flaked on. I’ve seen it in real life. I’ve seen some guys do the conveyor belt method of taking clients: it may make more money in the moment but, somebody going to get shafted when they can’t keep up with everyone they agreed to meet. The reason I ask for deposits and get screening details is because, I’m interested in making a mutually enjoyable experience. Not just booking a bunch of numbers and trying to fill what I can and fucking off (no pun intended) the rest.

Yeah I would never. Majority of “I don’t give my number” types don’t show up. Or won’t answer the door upon arrival. And tonight is another proven reason why I only see clients who do deposits. Too many people can’t be trusted. Granted, tonight I went to meet a friend (non-client, just a FB), and texted him I was on my way. I get there, still texting no response. Call, phone just rings. Pretty sure he’ll text me at some point in the next few hours like, “omg I’m so sorry I blah blah blah” like he’s done once, maybe twice before. 3rd time is taking advantage of grace. No fuck that. If I can’t trust someone to pick up the phone when I arrive, the most basic courtesy of things: it’s over. He won’t be getting another visit from me ever, unless he can reimburse the hour I spent going there and back. And that’s another reason too I don’t do too much free hookups either. Taking someone like me who’s used to people sending deposits before I meet them, only to go see someone for free and not get paid after: that’s foreign to me. They have to really have something out of this world for me to want to do that on a regular basis, and even then I ask most my hookups to either come to me when I can host, be prepared to leave something for coming unless they are a really good host.

I’m just curious about this line: is that something you’d normally do? Or was it something all planned by email only? I always ask to keep phone contact in the process of the arrival. Mainly because I’m not big on just having a knock at the door even if it’s at the specified time. I prefer a client let me know when he’s arrived. Case in point: years ago when I had a full time incall, I had a doorbell ring. I opened the door and it was a cop 👮🏻‍♂️ I was like, oh shit. But it wasn’t because I was in trouble, it was just a nosey neighbor concerned about what they thought was a dead cat 🐈‍⬛ in a crate. I chuckled 🤭 and explained: my cat ran away, I was simply trying to see if it could be coaxed back, with its favorite Davy Crockett raccoon tail hat like it did the other night it ran away. Problem solved, but cat never came back the 2nd time 🤷🏾‍♂️ Now imagine if hypothetically at the same time, I was waiting on a client who said he would “knock when he’s arrived”, and I opened the door with perhaps…nothing on? Nope. Best to phone upon arrival.

I thought this topic was about providers who precum lol… I’m a precummer too. But usually after a bit of foreplay. One thing I (admittedly but I get tested routinely and don’t offer it for every visit) like about BB is that I think I add to the bottom being lubed up with my own pc. It’s hard to tell if they’re wet from the Lube or me f**king my precum in their a**. I also tend to leak a bit of my actual cum in between edging, when things are really going. I find that then makes the actual orgasm explosive 💦 😂 On my last video shoot: The first time I came with him, it was a bit sudden and only dribbled out. Couple hours later, we went at it again and I told him to “give me a hand”. That time, I was sitting over his abs, but it ended up on his face 😛

This is exactly why I don’t think it’s asinine in any shape or fashion to ask a consultation payment before communicating with prospective clients. $25 to talk to the man of your…wet dreams? That’s a BARGAIN! Try contacting any of these guys for sex talk and see how much they’ll charge: more like $2,500 🤨 per minute. And $50,000,000 just to fuck them 🤔 The rock Tyson beckford The Kelces’

Well that’s good to know. And in cases like that, at least the person communicated with you and was making the effort. It’s when it comes down to the other stuff I have an issue with. Like the ones who contact like two years later out the blue expecting to meet right here, right now…and can’t seem to have a slightest patience to actually plan a time. Well if they waited two years, how is 2 hours going to do much harm? (reminds me of when you said, “makes you wonder if they seen a dick somewhere and suddenly got in the mood”) lol. I may even start implementing a rule: if it’s been more than a year since a client has reached out, and they couldn’t manage to meet the last time they contacted: I may just not respond. Or just send an auto reply along those lines and say, “The first inquiry was free, but it’s $25 if you wish to request a booking again.”

+1 on the effort to book =same effort to cancel. Or someone can also just be honest and offer to reschedule or send a cancellation courtesy. Otherwise it’s going to be hard for that client to keep up with his fibs lol.

Ah okay, I get it now. Well, trust me I know exactly what you mean. It’s similar to the same stuff I talk about all the time, that often gets filed under “complaints”. But if someone is actually dealing with annoying behavior, they’ll begin to understand why some escorts take deposits, why some escorts may charge consultations (why not? I’m paying $40-$150 a month to advertise. How is it crazy to then ask for something nominal to reach me? I still believe every escort should get $10 at least, for every client inquiry…PERIOD. You have to make an appointment to meet/talk with most celebrities, and many of them you go thru 3rd party.)…and why it may be brought up on the forum every other week. Did your client show up? That said: I find what’s equally annoying are people who text me out the blue similar to how you described: Like yesterday, someone contacted me asking if I’m still available tonight: he last contacted October 2021 and even though I replied a couple days later, no response of acknowledgment of my message. So I try to book him again this time and he’s beating around the bush, saying it’s gotten late and he’ll reach out to me again, but “doesn’t know when”. But stuff like this is so common in the town I stay, it’s almost predictable. That’s why myself and even other providers I’ve spoken to in the industry just will not work in certain markets, because too many people play games. Someone reached out to be Saturday for an appointment Monday morning: cancelled. Somebody asked about an appointment last night: didn’t follow thru. And then the last couple weeks I had 2-3 clients ask for appointments and not even get to confirming. This type of shit really makes me tired of the industry. Too many flakes, liars and unreliable. I woke up this morning wondering if I want to keep doing this because people aren’t reliable. Then again, it doesn’t help I’m in a shitty market: full of racists and homophobes, only thing really going for it is the football team. The rest of the scene is so trash that, I don’t even want to spend my money on any gay/nightlife establishments in the city because: why am I going to keep spending my money to be around people who have outright disrespect and animosity towards sex workers? That’s a waste of my energy and resources. That’s understandable, but at the end of the day: sex workers aren’t meant to take the place of a therapist. We can be therapeutic, but we’re not adept to helping grown ass men work out their insecurities, before they even met or paid us. A lot of us are contending with our own baggage and challenges already, so it’s not as easy to try and figure out why someone is behaving the way they are…Especially if they don’t communicate it. I don’t always think it’s nervous, some people need to just have a bit of respect. Especially like I said, the ones who appear out of the blue 2-3 years later (which has seemed to happen like 2-3 times this month, idk if it’s just the holiday blues or what), and then still don’t manage to book anything. Who has time for that? To me that’s not being a client. That’s someone just wanting some free attention from an escort. If someone was actually serious about having a visit, they wouldn’t be giving the run around and playing games. Then when I tell him that I’m only booking my 75 minute session price (not my 1 hour) because it was already late evening, but that I could book him tomorrow if he only wants the hour session: he comes with some lame excuse: And people wonder why I start asking $25 to be contacted. Luckily I wasn’t doing too much last night but…I dislike when people do things like that when I’m having an outing with friends or planning something with my night. I might as well not even responded to the text at all if they can’t make up their mind 🤦🏾‍♂️

hmm, meh…bleh. I don’t know. I feel like you errored by planning 2 appointments 30 minutes apart. I rarely ever do that these days. I even have a thing I occasionally tell clients: I only prefer to book 1 client PER time of day. So I’m not going to have two clients showing up in the afternoon, or evening…only 1 morning client, 1 afternoon client or 1 evening client. And even that rarely happens in sequence. Lately in this economy and hookup app culture: 1 maybe two clients a day is all I prefer to reserve. That’s why I ask for deposits (a cancellation or no show can mean lost funds for the day), and I’ve started asking more to host. The days of having 3-4 clients a day are not how I do things anymore….Unless I’m feeling really Randy (sorry had to use some British/Irish dialect there lol)… I usually need time to decompress and allow me and the client to have non rushed time together. For example, last Friday I had a bit of a quagmire: I was already running 10 minutes behind my 3 p.m. booking. Thanksgiving/Black Friday traffic, and the guy gave me same day notice which.. doesn’t bother me but when I have to leave home, pack an overnight bag, host and check into a hotel, I usually have to plan that the day before. But no biggie. However, I get to the hotel…there’s two guests just dragging out the whole check in process. When I check into a hotel, I try to do it within 1 minute lol. ID, credit card, room number. I don’t need to know anything else. Client is on his way lol. All the chit chat and questions I can do later. And then the hotel staff were training someone so it took like 15 minutes just to get my room key. Meanwhile client texts me saying; “I’m here” at 3. Fortunately he was cool and patient…and we had a great time. I just told him, “next time I prefer a day notice” because I didn’t even have but a couple minutes to get ready, and when hosting I like to have time to create my whole ambience: Candles, cover the bed, get my Amazon music selection going, etc. Just my personal preference: I prefer visits to be like a “date”. I don’t think it should be treated like a job interview per say. Those type of appointments are that way because they are often taking multiple appointments and working on a 8 hour work week schedule. So they can’t stay longer than the company is willing to pay for. With sex work, I just prefer a more Relaxed approached. I think of it like concert performers. They are never on the dot ready. They don’t even give a time. I went to one performance in Washington DC: the performer was set to “start” at 8 p He didn’t come out until 11:15 p lol. But everybody was there and attending and it wasn’t like anybody was on a clock. Think about this (a bit of Christmassy theme lol). The world has been waiting for Jesus to “show up” for the past 2,023 years. Is he late? Or is he waiting until the time is right? So 30 minutes late is a drop 💧 in a bucket 🪣 in the big scheme of things. People have to learn to be patient. As long as someone updates the person their arrival time, shouldn’t be an issue. And I know from driving a lot: stupid, excessive red lights in the city can easily add 10-15 minutes to your arrival. Shit like that makes people want to run reds and drive down the wrong way on the avenue lol…but is it worth killing myself or somebody else over? Not really. Exactly…even in some Spanish cultures, things often start later than usual. However, I notice some of that can be preferential based too. Hence the subject I said in another thread “White privilege”. There’s a such thing as Latino privilege too. I would be a liar if I made it up. Used to work in a bank run by South Americans, where employees would regularly showed up late. They gave me a 3 strike rule (or maybe call it, “full time employee privilege). Now I’m like, fuck that. Mean ole Cuban bitch wanted to have a menopausal moment on me. Now I’m like, bitch I run my own shit. She did the best favor for me ever: encouraging me to start my own empire. I’m grateful for being fired. Nobody can ever take my entrepreneurial spirit, away from me 😂

Or it could be something more sinister…maybe the person said or did something that turned the provider off (not saying in this case). Or the provider could just be on bullshit and not taking clients seriously. I know for me, I can’t wait around to figure it all out. Sometimes even if I seem busy and clients assume I’m with other clients it’s not always true. There could be any number of things going on in my schedule not related to this

For me, I understand the desire for same day or advanced notice bookings. However I do mention in my ads and websites what I “prefer”. Like I took a same day notice request the other day on Black Friday and it was okay, but the guy also reached out to me last month so I was on his radar. He sent deposit, contacted for a time and we met a few hours later. Not as early as he wanted but, I did mention same day bookings I often prefer flexibility. I know some escorts only want “right here, right now”, but…not everyone has the same scheduling model. I can be the right here, right now guy at times, but I try to convey to people that it’s best to reach me a day or 2 before. Or at least 1 to 2 hours if it’s same day. I’m not waiting around-round the clock, looking to get picked up. I even address “available now” on my website and what it means to me: I’m available to PLAN a time today. Doesn’t mean I’m actually ready to meet right in that very moment. I would say vast majority of my appointments this year have all been planned with at least a day to a couple hours in advance.

Well: part of “privilege” is understanding and accepting that, there is a chance that some clients may be more open to inviting a certain type of provider into their home…And less inclined to invite another type of provider, even if that client can host. Now…I’m not specifically speaking for me because, I’ve gone to all kinds of upscale outcalls. I also know though that, there’s people out there I may never meet at their place because they feel a certain way towards certain types. This CAN vary City to city. Even though you referenced guys who apparently do well in any bum fuck town, that’s still not enough to confirm that me or someone else specifically can do well in a specific area. You only gave anecdotal information. And I’ve said before in a different topic: I’m getting away from the numbers game model of incalls. I’m not about to be: 4 clients x $300 = $1,200. Because experience has taught that two of those clients likely won’t show. Maybe 1 will…then I have to figure out another way to fill that $900, hopefully before the checkout day of the hotel I’m at. I rather just start asking for more time/funds when I host. That’s why I now started doing 75/90 minutes minimum for incalls.

Meanwhile the conversation is continuing so…don’t pin that on 1 poster, whoever you may be referring to. Well, those big metro areas with higher income also means: higher cost of living, more competition and higher rates. I’ve been to all the big cities. Everything from Seattle to Miami, San Diego to Boston. They are great, they’re fun and I made good coin in all of them: but when it comes to making a move there: all of those factors are going to play a part. The bigger cities aren’t always the better deal, I’ve said it before. Some are great to travel to. I love traveling to San Francisco, but I don’t love paying $1,500 a month for a (wait for it) box 📦 lol. It takes money to live in those cities. I’ve often contemplated making a move to certain cities during my travels. But living there versus visiting are very different. It takes money to jump on a place, then you have to figure out how to move your life there. Years ago, I moved to San Antonio for only $199. It was a move in special. I jumped on it immediately, but those bigger cities want more like: $1,999 upfront. And it’s a box in a sketchy area of town, limited parking and not much amenities. No guarantee that business will be steady in those expensive markets either. I’ve been in DC and San Francisco and been busy one day, dead the next. This is even before I started deposits. I was in San Francisco when Trump got elected and people were running up the steep avenues with 🪧 signs. I had only 1 client the 4 days I was there. Wasn’t asking for deposits either.

So far, have you gotten a chance to decide which decision you’d ultimately like to go with? By the way, this line you made: “I don’t send deposits anymore because I’ve been burnt too many times by previous guys who never showed up and just took my money” or “ I don’t feel comfortable sending money to someone I haven’t met yet.” When I was fresh out of high school in Florida, and got tired of working hectic restaurants and “retail” jobs that would try to fit an entire semi truck worth of items into 1 shelf (and I worked in “linens” department with all the fragile items): I switched to an “office” job that consisted of cold calling property owners who WERE NOT actually looking to sell their vacation properties, but our job was to convince them that they COULD sell it. So for between $299 and $1299 DOWN/UPFRONT, we would sit and 8 hours a day call people all around the country. And similar to this thread, it was like pulling teeth trying to get people to pay upfront. But this was real money, with their credit card we were asking. However, they were assured they would get a big return. Needless to say, it was a big scam (I was young and didn’t realize it at the time). And, many of the customers would say, “I’ve been burnt before, somebody else said they would sell it and yadda yadda, etc etc.” I finally got out of that industry after like a year or 2. It was too much. The constant trying to get a sale from someone, and upfront money was crazy. So I know…how hard it is. Eventually I switched to other type of customer service jobs, and then did banking and real estate assistance (yawn, I was so bored I struggled to show up to work…seeing all the executives arrive in their BMWs and Mercedes and me taking the bus which I eventually “upgraded” to a Toyota Camry). Fast forward now, I have 3 vehicles…and once I switched to escorting I didn’t look back. But it’s ironic now that I’m seeing this same level of resistance with deposits among the community today. Granted at the time, and over the times since I started in 2008…I used to didn’t require deposits for a long time. Again, it was only recently in the last couple years (specifically during and after COVID) that I had decided enough was enough of the risks and pro-Bono travel and hotel bookings. Even if I had 100 great experiences, it only takes 1 flake to turn your whole day upside down. And without a deposit: that could mean anything from sleeping in the car, to sleeping in an empty hotel room for two days before you get your first client (which happened to me last weekend, even WITH deposits…1 client sent a deposit but I couldn’t make it because I ran out of gas trying to get to my hotel without getting out in the wicked rain (but I rescheduled him 3 days later and he just wrote my latest review on RM), and then another client who sent $100 but HE couldn’t make it). A deposit essentially makes everything alright, and much more comfortable for me. I never said this story before either but: two years ago just as Covid was starting: I was in the hospital for 5 days. Had an ailment (wasn’t Covid). Couldn’t take a client if I wanted to until I got better. Guess what? I was accepting deposits from my hospital bed, and once I got out: I was eventually able to meet with each client. One was in Naples Florida, the other in Orlando. Then I went to Sarasota. Biggest rebound in my escorting history. All 3 clients sent deposits, so I was able to gas up, book hotels, and everything else. above is the list of states I’ve visited (in blue). I almost want to say New York because I have been in the Bronx region briefly on the way to Boston…but it doesn’t count. I’m looking to change that very soon, I have a trip coming up to New York. So, my experience is very extensive. This is why, people have to understand when you see a lot of things and experience a lot of things: it changes how you do things in your life. Not everybody can please the popular opinion, the masses, or conform to what the next escort and the next escort is doing. Hopefully you can choose the way that works best for you…

Thanks much, I’m glad it’s working for you. Pass it along. And I’ll continue to stay true to what I feel is best and sensible for me as well…even if it doesn’t align with what others may believe or have experienced. Because at the end of the day, I know what I’ve experienced and how I’ve been able to create better ones with less regret and stress, no matter how much I may need the business. I like the putting flakes in a box 📦 emphasis 😆

I appreciate you recognizing my demeanor and persona. And, the newspaper clip was more for humor and reference. I wasn’t trying to use that as an answer to the topic of this thread. I feel though this conversation has gone beyond deposits, and has now turned into something bigger than what it should be. Being that this isn’t a thread I made, I don’t feel I should be the target of what I talk about on the forum. It doesn’t have to go to that level I’m just specifically talking about deposits, and simply giving my opinion about why I as a provider ask for them. However, all I’ve read you say so far is: “I don’t have a problem without them, I don’t need them, I don’t feel it’s the right thing to do, etc.” And fair enough that’s your personal decision. The part that I feel you’re being a bit insensitive, is when it’s then implied that because YOU don’t have to do it, then I should also not do the same: and then comes along @purplekow trying to imply and gaslight that somehow I don’t know what I’m doing, despite it being something I KNOW works better for me. That’s not necessary. No one has to tell me, “you’re not busy because you charge deposits”. That’s basically what I’m hearing. That’s not true. There’s more variables behind that than just a deposit. And I’ve posted elsewhere from other people saying the same thing about their level of business. Why is it so difficult for people to accept what others are saying, instead of making it a deal about a few people being the exception? My question to you Vin specifically: because I know you’ve said it somewhere and I quote: “I don’t stay in hotels much these days” And from what it sounds like (correct me if I’m wrong), you are doing a lot of Outcalls, right? So…how would you feel if instead, you had to host clients in hotels…in addition to traveling to San Diego, Los Angeles, Palm Springs etc. How would you feel if you had to pay out of pocket upfront for that expense, with the possibility a client may cancel? Because in my case, in my area and many I travel to: clients tend to usually need me to host. Especially in Kansas City, idk if you ever been out this way: 99% of clients in this area can’t host. The only ones who can host, are usually staying in a hotel. So I’m always in a position to drive up, book a room, etc. There is one client on this forum who booked me here and did something very kind: he booked the hotel AND prepaid me my session before we met. I couldn’t have asked for a better scenario, but I don’t even expect that usually. I usually just get deposit, measly $50/$100…not a million dollars, and then book the room and get the rest in person. Easy/Peasy. I don’t feel it’s nothing to be arguing with me about, or for others to come and make snide comments and try to paint me as being some kind of con artist or person who isn’t busy because he chooses to use a little common sense. I know this is WAAAAAYYYY more explaining and defending than what’s required or even needed, and I’m going to wrap it up soon because the holiday is in a couple days: But I’m just willing to stand by and make sense to people because…nobody should have a 1 size answer fits all when it comes to deposits. People have to be willing to respect an individual providers preference…at least here on the forum because, people read things here.

Just seeing this…but answer is: it depends on where. I think I’ve mentioned at times on the forum, some cities Adam 4 Adam were the only site I got clients from during a particular visit… That’s great that you found it to be of benefit! I’m happy that you did, I would like more people to continue to use and support A4A…but of the quality kind. It did for awhile get a rep for being sketchy for hiring but, they used to charge $10 a month versus $30…and when that happened a lot of the riff raff left. Then they updated their platform (another thing that caused the site to slow down significantly, and especially since they changed advertising in specific neighborhoods to advertising in a “county” of a city) so when traveling I often have to Google what county is such and such in. But no, I don’t think it’s White privilege solely lol (as I said in another thread, and that was pertaining to a different subject). I still get good hits from there, heck earlier this year I was hired by someone who’s connected in the porn industry, I’m on their radar to be doing a shoot in the near future. And yes I do think it’s very location dependent. I’ve used A4A all over including Dallas and others. I found it used to work best in smaller western and midwest towns that had relatively few providers of “color” advertising. Milwaukee, Knoxville, Omaha, El Paso, even my first trip to San Francisco was a good place to use it. It’s just changed a bit due to the influx of the apps and A4A not allowing rates. But the opportunity is still there.

Ha, how funny! I was just browsing elsewhere and found this newspaper ad from Miami male escort service. Sounds like male escorts were getting deposits as early as 1937. So…now the answer is official, PAY YOUR DEPOSIT LADIES. Case closed 😂 “Before the escort meets his lady, she pays the fee in advance”. …no comment on the rate part. Obviously different era, different paradigm.

Thanks for your review. I feel the same, seems around 2016 (when P.T. signed the Bill regarding anti trafficking), things came to a significant slowdown. I’m not a fan of the app version. It’s heavily edited, and I often have to think of clever ways to say what I’m doing…because they won’t even allow pro members to talk about services on the app.

With all due respect: I’m not trying to convince anyone they are wrong. I feel you’re taking it as a personal attack on @Vin_Marco versus seeing it from the perspective I’m making: Some people may not wish to take deposits, others may feel a need to. All I’m reading on this thread, is people saying they don’t want to pay deposits/don’t believe in it/do great without it. But I’m not seeing much in the way of acknowledging people who are asking for deposits and the reason they are. Personally, I’m not interested in hearing someone’s experience at a restaurant or childhood experiences AS IT RELATES to the privilege I refer to in this topic. I do acknowledge and empathize with the ignorance of those experiences on a personal level, but overall it’s irrelevant to this topic about clients and deposits/cancel fee. I know that’s unpleasant and unacceptable to deal with that, but it has nothing to do at all with the privilege I’m referring to when it comes down to taking/not taking deposits. And you could say I’m privileged too because I’m sure I’ve put in the same level of effort as @Vin_Marcoor @Jamie21has; but Vin and Jamie are in completely different regions, different backgrounds from me. Their experiences versus mine shouldn’t be compared to make a suggestion on how I or any other providers should run their ship 🚢 And as I have said to someone previously: it’s not a matter of me asking deposits “not working”. So please don’t take my posts out of context to fuel a preference you may have. Deposits ARE WORKING for me, but I can’t control the fact that inflation and living in a market where most of the gays/bi curious frequent Grindr and/or don’t have the budget. I’m trying to fix that by year end, and that’s already in the making.

This is unfounded statement…you know I’m going to call you out on it, right? And then…

This sounds very contradictory. You’re basically saying it’s better to have less assurance in a market that people don’t want to pay at all, and should therefore not charge deposit (thus increasing their risk of being ghosted/flaked/stiffed/etc.). How does that work? If anything, it’s places like Kansas City and even big places like Miami and Los Angeles where I’ve actually worked in: that deposits are needed the most. Those bigger markets are even more cut-throat. I would never work in LA again without deposits because, hotels are expensive and traffic/distance are insane. Meanwhile Miami is full of riff raff and I wouldn’t go out my way to see someone without a deposit there either.

As I said (that you left out in the part you quoted), “regardless of ACTUAL ethnic background” (if you’re not Black, like dark skinned Black with African American features, you may have privilege by that alone, as it relates to America as a whole especially…ESPECIALLY as it relates to the gay community. that’s a whole other topic). Also notice that I didn’t specifically say that YOU have White privilege, I meant it as a general statement of privilege all together. I’m also aware that in California, especially SoCal: even Hispanic/Latinos experience a different level of privilege. That’s why I posted that article that I did, I hope you did read it? If not, I can easily find another: In California’s largest race bias cases, Latino workers are accused of abusing Black colleagues WWW.LATIMES.COM In the last decade, the two largest race discrimination cases brought by the federal government in the... But, I’m not trying to go down a race debate. I’m just trying to say: acknowledge your privilege, but don’t make assertions that all escorts should be willing to be as care free and rely on clients being reliable as you are. You just happen to be in a different position of privilege. Accept it. Acknowledge it. Don’t assume someone should be open to accepting the same level of risk, who isn’t though. The only reason I brung that up is because, you stated a situation that a client canceled on you: and you declined the cancellation fee that HE OFFERED. Which is fine, that’s your call. But what I was trying to say is, another client did the same to me last week and didn’t offer anything. So…I’m just saying you may have been privileged to the fact that A) the client even offered to reimburse you in the first place and B) you didn’t actually need the money to begin with. All I’m saying is just acknowledge your position of being privileged, versus assuming a rule that should apply to all based on that. It wasn’t a personal attack. I wasn’t trying to make you mad or upset, and you know…I like you because you’re a genuine person. But, the facts are the facts in a situation. I respect your position, but: I don’t think it’s fair for people to start making blanket statements on what an escort should or shouldn’t do based on what’s been successful for you. For example: when it comes to money upfront, I once met a guy who seemed kinda sketchy. Something was giving me red flags, even though he drove up in a nice Acura SUV and was White. He came into my back room, and when I asked for the funds upfront: he counts out $27. Then he was like: I have to go to the ATM (and it’s 1 in the morning). Never came back. Imagine if I would have f**ked him? That would have been $27 earned. And I HOPE I would be able to message the people on here saying not to ask deposits/get money up front; “hey I just got robbed out of $223 dolllars. Can you send me some money PER your advice not to count the money?” Another time I had a guy in Sarasota, Florida years ago. I massaged and f**ked the shit (not literally) out of him and we had the best fun. I even drove out to Sarasota from Tampa, and booked a room on my dime (pre-deposit era so to speak lol). Well after we got done, he’s like: “I forgot my wallet in the car”. I was like okay cool, I trust you baby. My door was literally facing his car, as it was one of those outdoor resort hotels. He drives off, and never gave me the money. Couldn’t believe it. We had arranged this for like 2-3 days. So, all I’m asking is everyone to please stop gaslighting me into believing asking deposits is some sort of downfall move, and I’m doomed to lose business. I’ve spent majority of my years in the industry without deposits, and only within the last 1 to 2 years making it more mandatory with deposits. 2 years ago I brought a new laptop (you can’t build a website with an iPhone) and vowed I would start being more serious and start asking nominal deposits. It’s not like I just rolled outta bed. I put the work into making it happen. I spent like a week learning how to build even a basic website, strategizing how much my deposit should be, and then making sure I know I can LIVE UP TO the commitment of doing so.