JB_Studio38

Sometimes I wonder the same myself. Idk how often people here go out but: there’s just not as many guys out here, especially American: escorting as much as you’d think. It looks very filled on the websites, but just an average night going out to bars or gay pool parties: it’s become so uncommon to run into another escort, that I rarely bring it up much in public. At least not in the region I’m in. You see them, but you almost have to look for them. Whereas lately the closest many guys get to sex work, is Instagram modeling and onlyfans. And some of them don’t even work with other guys, it’s just them doing solo things.

It’s unfortunate that some people deal with such things. However toxicity is one of those things that are just out there in the gay world 🌎 It’s not just clients and providers but all across the board. You can run into the same things meeting guys the conventional way. It’s so bad in Kansas City area that, majority of the gay dudes at the bars and hookup apps are on drugs or something. I rarely ever get to meet them outside of a bedroom, because they’re too busy getting clucked out all night and go into hiding during the day. I think that’s why the client scene out here is lacking. The well off people with money don’t even support the trade at all here. I manage to get a few here and there because my presentation, but even that isn’t much to thrive off. The important part is to just be discerning. That’s why even though some think it’s amusing or accurate to say I’m not getting any clients: I’m not really all that offended. That would be misinformed, however to an extent it is correct: My door 🚪 doesn’t need to be open for every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants to walk thru.

Let’s be clear; I am not native of this area. And the only reason I’m even here is due to extenuating circumstances. If it were any other city: I would not be making repeat visits. Some markets get very limited visits from me. I just don’t deal with certain cities. However It’s just where one of the markets I service, and due to the above mentioned issues: I try to travel frequently….

I just want to readdress this line again. Let’s not go there with the assumptions about why someone is or isn’t getting appointments. I’ve discussed this in full many times across the board. It often has way more to do than just a website and deposit. Like I’ve said, things are in a weird place in a different time right now. Years ago, when I started: I used to be able to get guys to book me left and right, and all I had was a grainy webcam photo and didn’t use paid sites until a few months in. I was just getting started during the hayday period for gay escorting sites. Things are different now. My location has changed, websites have changed, rates and economy have changed. I also live in a conservative area: not to rehash the same old topic but, lot of guys here are either low budget and don’t want to pay, or they only want to patronize a certain “type”. I won’t throw race in there, but it’s often a factor. All I mainly see traveling here are White and Latino escorts. I believe the Black and “non-White/Latin” escorts here are working with a very limited pool of clients. THAT is why I don’t have as many appointments as I want. Not because of having a website. Let’s just clarify that. I’ve seen first hand how things go. It doesn’t matter if I was “available now” and charging $100. Or nothing at all. Some areas, the gay scene treats escorts with no respect or regard. They don’t want to pay, they just want free free free. I see it all the time in my local area. I have to regularly “coax” guys into booking, even when they say dismissive things about sex workers. Like I said: I’ve done the easy stuff and it didn’t work because people took advantage and took for granted. Now I have to do things differently, and anyone who “runs” probably would do that even if I did make it easy.

Almost sounds similar to a friend I know. He spent something like almost a year in jail due to some petty family dispute that just blew up into a full fledge felony. I had to kinda be like a counselor thru that whole time while also trying not to directly blame him for what happened. Like in the case of where someone said: “his girlfriend put him jail”….well not really. She might have been the facilitator but, ultimately it comes down to how the system works and controlling one’s own action. And the golden rule for every man: If you can avoid problems with a woman, avoid it. Doesn’t matter if it’s family or your girlfriend. I only trust women around me for select periods of time. I don’t even like to be around gay dudes who spend too much time around various women, unless it’s a real close friend who’s trustworthy (some make great wingwomen lol). It’s sad though, like I said in another (now closed) thread: the system is real. Some people can’t stay out of it but: too often it’s a default solution. Fortunately my friend has gotten back on his feet, and I think my counseling and sending links of online resources have helped. I always try to include: I’m not perfect and dealing with hurdles of my own.

I just wanted to clarify: I never said or implied I’m getting no appointments. My website has been up now going on 2 years. It has made a difference in my life for the better. Prior to that, I was the one going crazy. Now, in no attempt to “disregard” your advice: However, I still feel it’s best to state how I prefer to do things. Yes, a consultation of $25 I feel is reasonable, and many clients have sent one. I think too many times, especially at the start of our career: we like to sound fun and bubbly and talk about how hot and fun we are. That’s great to do on the ads. But, we also get limited real estate to mention everything. There’s a not a lot character count on sites like Adam and RentMen. And I’d say majority of the times: people don’t read the ads and it’s evident when I allow my number to be displayed: they contact asking for rates. Even though the link to my site is there in my ad. Also the paragraphs you quoted are spread out over different pages. Not all in the same page. I make updates to my website every so often, and try to make it easy and quick to read without leaving out important details. I know it’s not state of the art but, it’s from professional templates that I took the time to modify and edit to my desires. I won’t say names, but just last month I had the assistant of a musician who booked me for his client and went to my website. So obviously I’m doing something right 🤷🏾‍♂️ I get that, but like I said: people don’t read ads. When I relied on that, I couldn’t get everything I wanted to say. RentMen cuts the profile writing off at a certain point…which requires clients to click anyway. Also the “available now” green light will have people in any city I’m advertised in thinking I’m available Now. Then you have to click see more to view the rest. So I try to put what I can that is most important, while still including a little bit of enticing details. However if people are using Rent.Men, you’ll see it’s more laid out.

Well the latter can be the case regardless. I’ve had available now on and could be ready to see a client short notice and guess what? Either nobody calls or they flake. Operating out of desperation is not an ideal position to be in. Accepting whatever and everything that comes thru the phone isn’t either. I’ve done the no rules, no deposits/advance bookings thing before. And I still do, IF it’s very very easy and I feel like it. Like, they’re just down the street or they have a real good reason for being unable to do at least one or the other. No deposit? Okay let me verify the hotel you’re at. But…having guidelines and boundaries is better for longevity and sustainability. When you’ve been in it for as long as I have: you’ve just about seen it all and done it all. And I see it all the time. Like a friend of mine, he was about to dash out the door to meet some guy off an app he just met. I was like, hmm that seems quite last minute. Sure enough, other dude stopped responding. Then some have the audacity to not want to exchange numbers. Every time I have allowed myself to meet someone like that, something bad happens. It’s like, they’re trying to hide something, or they are being shady and distrustful. Not necessarily clients per say, but just gay hookups in general.

No they wouldn’t. Most everybody has an iPhone. Apple Pay. All we have to do is normalize it, and mitigate the scammers or no shows. If someone won’t book a reputable provider due to a deposit, then they probably not serious about paying at all.

Well like I said, some providers probably say that because they feel or have seen clients who book in advance and don’t keep the appointment. In cases like that, that’s why it’s best to include a deposit WITH the advanced booking. Even today, I was expecting someone to book tonight at his hotel based on the request last night. I said I needed deposit by noon today to confirm. I follow back up and he’s saying he is working and then few hours later, can’t make it. But here’s the thing: he was the one who said he wanted “tomorrow night”. That’s probably why some guys don’t take advanced bookings, but I don’t think only being available “now” is the solution for everyone. Plus I’ve done the “come right now” guys, and most those fuckers don’t show up either 🤦🏾‍♂️ They lie and bullshit and will go as far as getting hotel info, or saying they are at some hotel and yet never show or include full booking details. That’s why I will never go back to not collecting deposits and definitely not going to be on call 24/7 waiting on somebody. I had to tell a return client the other day: I texted him 2 days in a row asking him to confirm. No response. The first time he booked ahead and sent deposit. 2nd time, he texts me at almost 11 p.m. saying can I come over and fuck. I’m like, no dude. I am not available short notice. I was already on my way home from another area of town. To see him, I would have needed to turn back around and go to the next county to meet him. I almost wanted to, but why go out of my way when he couldn’t be bothered to respond in the first damn place 🤔

Well this I already know. Plus there’s things brewing in the P word that seems all people and the news talks about. That said, I wish things like that and inflation wouldn’t affect people’s interest as much. He’s just on his, I look like a hippie but am a millionaire look lol. I’ve seen that before.

lol, a lot has changed since Baywatch lol I’d do 🍆 either version of Momoa though. Blame WWE, MMF and Hollywood for this trending muscular tattoo culture 😂 I can understand this too. Sucks when it’s a regular or things in a city used to be busy, but it’s dead. I suppose that’s just how it goes. I personally feel the market is in a weird place though. RentMen is great for what they are doing, but I kinda wish there was more promotion of “high end” providers or guys who have been in it awhile. RentMen is everything from rookies to veterans, but there’s no prices to really distinguish any from each other.

The only thing though, is it ends up being both a loss 🥺 Like the other day, if I didn’t meet a client last minute during the day, I woulda missed out on 500. Granted it’s just “money”, and this person I’ve met before and technically I was in my “available today” moment, but the time he wanted was a bit earlier than I could easily do on short notice. Which is no big deal, but I have to tell them in person: Glad you made it but I need advance notice next time because of (insert reasons why I usually need at least 2 to 4 hours minimum notice IF I can even do a same day booking at all). And in the city I service, these guys hardly ever book in advance no matter how many times I say I have to plan ahead. It seems in some towns, they only want to see an escort when they are horny or on drugs. Rarely something to plan for. Or everything revolves around the wife, and they only hit me up if she gives him some last minute free time. Once or twice every few months. It’s infuriating. Meh, I think majority of those (not all) may just be doing this thing in the moment…similar to how some clients do the same. Meeting only clients who are “ready to go” means waiting around for hours doing nothing. Who has time for that? I don’t…because I could wait around for hours, as I’ve done before, and nothing happens. I rather be able to get stuff done, and then arrange things with some coordination. As for delayed messages, people do that a lot too. Sometimes though it’s a matter of waiting for an update in schedule, for some people. Like example: I’ve had people reach out for a city I’m planning to visit, but unexpectedly had issue with car last week. I was able to message a couple clients letting them know I’m being delayed, but that I don’t know yet what day for sure until I get this situation handled. Then they don’t reply back, as if I knew it was going to happen and can get it handled faster than ones who have it 🤷🏾‍♂️

As often stated: how someone portrays themselves around another (you) in a business setting, might not necessarily be the same character “behind scenes”. I find it a bit dubious 🤨 to say a person or people have a “can do attitude” and grateful to be here and not blaming the system, but yet continues to remain here illegally. Of course if someone is overstaying their visa or whatever isn’t going to blame the system, because they’re beating it. 🤷🏾‍♂️ I used to be close to a couple Nicaraguan guys in Miami years ago. Sure they had great work ethic and never complained much about the “system” but, they would switch tune at the drop of a dime and had plenty of drama of their own. PLENTY. They also stayed close within those similar to them; Spanish fluent, neighborhoods where English wasn’t required, etc. I’d go back years later, and they were still there in Little Havana and South Miami. So nobody can persuade me and imply migrants are likely to be more ambitious and appreciative than the natives.

What do you find best conveys that and does it actually work? I know I said I’m stepping back posting new threads, but this…I feel is looked over often. I’ve had to turn down 2 bookings this past week because they want it too short notice. Then when attempt to reschedule, they aren’t available again for a week or never. It’s like hmm 🤔, how is it that I have to be ready right then, but they can’t make much time for me when I’m available 🤨 And funny thing, I’m not advertising bottom services (no diss to any but I know many need time to “prepare”) but I still find on most days I need at least 2 to 4 hours notice before I am ready to meet a client. I’m just not able to be in escort mode 24/7. Other times I either have to commute to a hotel that I booked to host, or travel across town to a client I’ve never been: which can easily add an extra hour or 2 depending how far I have to go. Some people manage to understand it and always book ahead: others will book in advance one time; but then try to do it last minute the next time. Who said anything changed 🤷🏾‍♂️ I also try to explain the “available now” green light: it doesn’t always mean available now, for me. It means I’m available to take booking requests for that day. So I just turn it on when I know I’m likely to have time to set up a booking that day. Though it still doesn’t equate to a client being ready to meet at that moment of time anyway. Many times I’m not able to turn down same day bookings in my area because: They either won’t be available for awhile, or just visiting for limited time. But if it’s like “now” or the oft requested mid day bookings between 1 and 3 pm: I usually can never do it unless it’s requested with notice or they are nearby. I know there’s reasons why some clients have to book short notice; but this is more about avoiding having to do that if possible.

Not necessarily. I mean think about it: New York guys, who have like an million escorts are charging what? Meanwhile the small fly over towns with no competition, can’t expect to get $400/hour. And just for the record: no diss to migrants but if that competition affects providers rates, best believe it may affect in other ways. If (in theory) a migrant worker is willing to do a particular job for less, that (in theory) could affect yours or others pay as well. However, as been mentioned: it doesn’t necessarily equate to migrant guys=lower rates. $300 is high even in Denver. I know for a fact, for a long time many clients in Denver never wanted to pay more than $100-$150 back when I lived there in 2010s. It’s gone up a little bit over the years, but not by much.

Also I found this article: I was not aware that this was an issue in Denver: Denver’s mayor asks Biden administration for more work authorizations to get migrants off streets WWW.NBCNEWS.COM Temperatures are falling and migrants keep coming. Mayor Mike Johnston is hoping work authorizations will help... That’s why I say: at the end of the day it’s good to be discerning. I’m not going to get too deeply political (as requested) but I’m not sure why they are sending migrants to downtown Denver, when the locals have been long dealing with housing and homeless issues themselves. There’s plenty of land and small towns in Colorado, Wyoming, Montana. That’s why, my biz model lately has been to spend less time in the bigger populated cities. The money isn’t there anymore like it used to because it’s like 20 guys trying to get the same 1 client. Too much competition and migration from California AND abroad lol.

Oh yeah, I remember that hotel. It’s normally nicer than that room I had but it was mostly sold out lol. Seems like they’ve gone back and forward between being a hotel and a shelter ever since Covid. It only recently became a corporate brand in the last few years but it’s changed names a couple times. The adjacent building is nicer, but last time I stayed they were doing some remodeling and the pent house jacuzzi room I used to stay in wasn’t available. I may get back out there again in the near future, however my last trip there in August was a total bust. Spent 3 days there and not a single (real) client. I was infuriated. I didn’t have any hotel overhead though because it was a friend’s meetup. But the day I came home, ended up with an awful strep throat…And had to be out of commission for an additional few days. I know last year was slow in a lot of cities though, so maybe I’ll get back out there on a different season. But similar to Chicago and Atlanta: I’m not going to spend my money going unless I have specific reason to be there. And next time I’m taking my phone number down because far too many time wasters and guys who don’t want to do deposits there lol. We need more guys like you, @keroscenefire 😜

Hmm, interesting. It might just be a side hustle for them in between other things and may be splitting living costs. I thought you were referring to one hosting at the same time with a few other guys around or something. I’m just curious: how would you surmise that they all stay with each other, by chance? I just ask because I’ve had clients ask me if I know so and so or if I’m friends with other guys. Even had one client (in Denver) couple years back ask if I knew the escort guy staying next door to me at a hotel with like 10 floors🤦🏾‍♂️ I’m like no, and have no idea how I got placed right next door to another guy with an ad. I would find it hard not being able to host though. I’ve found most clients in Denver and it’s “brother” city without mountains aka Kansas City, can rarely ever host. I have to keep a booking bag packed and a list of hotels on speed dial because: it never fails someone will contact me in the morning or early afternoon wanting me to host within a couple hours.

I don’t necessarily have similar direct experience with migrant providers, however I know there’s some other “literature” out there that references similar topic: So, with that said: we don’t always know the full background for each individual person’s situation. I know the language barrier could be easier for someone fluent in Spanish, but I have heard from a (White) client personally who mentioned to me about someone he met communicating in how you describe, and that he didn’t expect it. So for some that might be an issue. The risks may be different in Denver versus a place like say Oklahoma, Texas, or Las Vegas. I know for me personally escort or not an escort: I’d be concerned about safety and privacy when visiting someone where there’s multiple guys doing sex work in one place. I don’t even like to do that outside of sex work just because the potential drugs and/or drama that could invite. One might have a client coming, another have a client going. And all the activity might set off 🤨 depending upon the layout of wherever you going. Maybe hosting would be advantageous. I did have a great time with a guy in Chicago who was mixed with Guatemalan American and had the same (real) first name as me. Everyone can see who they wish to see, however with so much going on at the border and uncertainty with it all: It’s important to be a bit discerning versus looking thru the horny goggles 🥽 so to speak lol.

Thanks, I’m trying…bit by bit. And today I checked out the hotel at 1 p.m. and nobody even knocked on the door (made sure I requested it). I was in bed til 10:30 a, damn caffeine drink and evening workout had me up all night watching porn and Alexa music 😂

Yeah Sear’s was super reliable. I think I have feather pillows and other items as well, and when they merged with shop your way rewards it was easy to get some great deals. Another store I like that has somewhat scaled back over the years but remains in biz: is Burlington (used to be “coat factory”). It’s hard not to walk in there and not buy something. Clothing and coat quality/selection though isn’t too great. It’s generally overstocked or undersold stuff you’d see at places like “Orlando premium outlets” or similar type of places. I’ll buy the occasional workout clothes, home goods and luggage. But I brought a Tommy coat from Macys and the quality is different than the Tommy coats at Burlington. Oh yeah I have an iron from Sears from years ago too: that thing has stood the test of time. It gets steams the wrinkles out of anything. I used to travel with it because I got tired of crusty hotel irons, but it’s just too heavy to carry around and I don’t iron much lol. It would be nice if Walmart or Target brought out and merged with Sears: as we’ve seen with certain hotel chains.

No attempt to ingratiate myself, but I figure I can at least mention it. Some times I’ll say things, and it may come across unintended. Or it’s meant to just be a figurative reference to something. It doesn’t necessarily mean “all” or everyone. It’s only as it applies to particular scenarios I’m discussing. Other thing being, I’ve been going thru a difficult time in my mid 30s…and there’s been a lot of ambivalent and borderline toxic people in/out of my circle. There’s no reliability in my “fuck buddies”, I haven’t had a legit boyfriend now in years (not that I can’t be whole without one but: if I did have one, I could subtract fuck buddies out the equation), feeling incompatibility with where I reside, and family has been working my nerve. Add to it often missing/losing clients because I can seldom take short notice bookings, that many in my area seem to desire. Not to mention the almost weekly passive aggressive kind of behavior that comes thru my phone (yesterday had someone tell me $250 is “too much to pay for some dick”) Which I know is typical opinionated tactics because I was blessed with twice that amount the next day. Had another telling me “I’ll pass” when I mentioned I couldn’t see him right now, but could later on tonight (my ads all specify couple hours or more notice). Wasn’t sure if he passed because of that or my rates, but not sure what he passed on in the 1st place because he contacted me first. I wasn’t propositioning him 🤷🏾‍♂️ The main way to get a break from these things lately is to travel, but as I’ve discussed before: that isn’t without hurdles of its own. But it’s been helpful. Dealing with this regularly, I find it makes me want to vent more and post things some may feel comes off negative. But I told someone the other day: By all means offer advice and suggestions where you see fit. If I can implement it, great. If it can’t be applied to a particular situation: thanks but, don’t let it get you down. But going forward, I’ll try to contribute more to reading/answering other’s threads and questions instead.

I still have Sylvania electric fireplace I brought from Sears 6-7 years ago. Works like a charm til this day, but it’s been only moderately used. Looks like Sears.com is still in biz though. Idk I’m not familiar or too versed on why certain stores get phased out: But I think some places just go thru their cycle. We see this with gay bars often in cities. Even though the longevity is a bit less than big department stores. I brought a lot of good stuff at Sears though… I don’t think Amazon is the “new” Sears, even though it does appear convenient. The closest thing to that would probably be Target 🎯 Macys or Wal-Mart (can’t forget about Sears Auto Center lol). Sometimes I wonder how any of these stores make it for so long at all. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the sheer amount of merchandise out there. I went to a liquor store earlier, a new “Total Wine” in the area: just rows and rows of wine…and I was like the only person shopping tonight 🤷🏾‍♂️ Sometimes it makes me reflect on my own biz, like…how can I avoid going bankrupt? lol. But since we’re technically “managed” by a larger company, RM and some others: as long as the site stays hot, our product has the potential to stay hot. Also just because one may be tanking in one area, doesn’t mean there’s no demand elsewhere. And one other thing: I think a lot of people are mislead thinking online is the best way to go. I was searching for a particular spinner bag to go with a luggage set I am putting together. I brought a couple things online, but I went hopping between TJ Maxx, Ross and Home Goods/Marshall’s and found what I needed plus a couple other Knick knacks. I couldn’t find it online, and what I did find would have been much more expensive. Sears served its purpose well, but it probably more appealed to an older audience. Plus with places like Harbor Freight, Home Depot, or “Menards” and Meyer for those of us in the Midwest: It’s bigger than just tools, appliances and clothing. For me, Home Depot’s garden department wins every time. Even though I noticed lately they’ve been scaling back on selection and increased some of the prices the past summer. Hopefully it’ll be better this summer.

I’m not going to tell you what I was doing at 15, 16, and 17 because that would probably be against the minor discussion rules of this platform lol.

I’ll say too: one thing that peeves me are guys who will contact on an inclement weather day (or late at night Outcall) but when told I’m not able to come out due to the time/weather: they don’t respond back and aren’t available again the next day…or ever. Until two years later out the blue. That’s just so tacky to me. How you gon ask me to meet during a time that’s relatively unsafe/inconvenient, and then go ghost when I try to set up something more reasonable and convenient? I don’t like when people make it seem like meeting them is an all or nothing proposition. Don’t hit me up like some last minute resort. Because I won’t be available. Had someone do that last week. I wasn’t about to go out and meet him when the roads were getting bad, because I would have had to drive all the way back in it. Hasn’t bothered to even reach out at all to reschedule or anything, and didn’t respond when I offered.