JB_Studio38

I’m so glad that you had the courage to come here and tell your story. I think many of us, have had something similar happen. That said, is there any possibility he may have forgotten to pay? I would reach out to him again, and of course if no action (sounds like you said he ghosted) blacklist him. This is essentially the shoplifting version of rape (you did not consent to time without pay), and that’s ethically wrong. I used to live in San Antonio way back when. However over the years, I’ve learned deposits, upfront and generally whatever makes me feel safe as a sex worker, is what matters. Not what random guys on the internet think or say. There’s 6 billion people on this earth, with a lot less of them gay and willing to pay, in the same town you’re in. However, you have to be faithful and confident. Nobody wants to relive a bad experience. Even when clients talk about being robbed, they may only hire every so often. We on the other hand, are dealing with clients every day. Phone calls, everyday. Meeting strangers, everyday. If I listened to every person who doesn’t do this, or doesn’t do that…idk where I would be right now. Let this be something to encourage more screening, and deposit or something upfront upon arrival in the future. There will be other clients who can respect you as deserved .

The more I read about it, the more it sounds like a enticing alternative. However, the main catch 22 I can see with that is, what if you decide last minute you need the room for the night? Or a client books an evening in-call unexpectedly? I’d assume then one would have to pay for the full night again, on top of the dayuse price. In that case, you almost come out better doing 2 nights. In my case, I’ll probably reserve dayuse in situations where I already have somewhere else to stay in the evening…or if I don’t want to stay in a particular city the whole night, just during the afternoon for a booking and be on my way. Sometimes I’ve disliked having to stay a whole extra night in a hotel, just to take a 1 p.m. appointment.

But isn’t that what you want? It’s sounds like you desire a provider who doesn’t require much to book: and can therefore squeeze in as many clients as possible…because they have limited “hurdles” for their clients. Isn’t that what makes a successful escort? You got what you asked for, and deserved. When you go to guys who aren’t really screening or asking much from clients: they are likely running a conveyor belt, so don’t be surprised with what you get:

I think it just depends on the communication. I always try to let clients know if I foresee needing extra time. As for waiting in the lobby, I’ve had times clients shown up to my hotel almost the same time or earlier that I arrive myself. Most seem patient and will say something like, “no rush, take your time”. Which sounds good, but I’m still rushing because…normally I prefer to hangout in my hotel for like 30 minutes to an hour before having anyone come. Of course I wouldn’t want to keep someone waiting that long. To lessen the chances of that occurring; I try to suggest 2 hours notice for same day bookings, but I’m also making same day bookings a premium service. To have me ready and available to meet the same day of contact, is a great accomplishment. This is why I’ve suggested to RentMen/Masseur to change the available now: to available today. This may eliminate the false sense of immediate availability, some clients may think it implies. Though for some, maybe they are available now but, I doubt anyone can remain that way for hours and days on end. All that’s required, is clicking a button and choosing how many hours you can be available now:

Just seeing this but: there’s a “hack” for that. Rent.Men will allow you to write a full page. In fact, when I edit my ad: I only use Rent.Men. Notice the character count of 2,000. I’ve used about 1,700 of them because, my ad needs to be able to full picture go over all important details, just in case they don’t trust clicking the link to go to my website. I guess that was part of the change over benefits from RentMen.eu. I also like the “map” feature on Rent.men because it shows more details like hotel location (even though I don’t always show my exact map location and when I do, it’s often at a hotel nearby that I’m not actually at just for privacy sake lol) versus the weird Rentmen.eu map which seems to only show government buildings/landmarks. They’re both Tom Tom so not sure how one is different.

Good point… And that means people will have to keep in mind; it isn’t a bathhouse. You can’t just pull out dayuse as if walking into midtown spa. I checked and there are some variations in availability. I also noticed trying to book the “Day of” might not work, because if you don’t book by the time that slot starts, there may only be the next available spot. That’s another reason why I’m going to discourage and incentivize same day, afternoon appointments with an added same day booking tip. Not that I don’t want to do same day meets, but I need to start getting paid more for it.

I think I’ll start referring all clients in my local area to dayuse if they want me to host. Simply because I don’t like the hotels in my area: they’re either dirty or overpriced. When I lived in Orlando and Dallas, I used to be able to get many options to 3 and 4 star hotels for under $100. But something about the Midwest, many of the good brands here are like buying tickets for 4 to visit Six Flags 😐

I recently signed up for dayuse app myself. I haven’t used it yet, however there’s 3 hotels participating in the city I live near. Which is okay, but in the future I will start using them if I need to arrange things earlier than a typical hotel will allow. However, from my observations they are mainly only available in bigger metros. And sometimes the rate could be close to what booking for the night somewhere could be. However the advantage is that earlier check in. I’m also going to start referring clients to use it themselves, if I’m not hosting on a particular day and the client can’t host either.

And best one of all: my old text messages that I save FOREVER. So when the same client who flaked, appears 2 years later acting like everything is all cool…I can remind him, “back in 2021, you were scheduled at 9 p.m. and didn’t show up. How would you like to pay for that 😂

And I’ll add additionally: Despite it seeming to be a lot of “porn star” advertisers out there, there’s really not a lot of guys out here in reality doing sex work. There’s a few cities I go to and, I meet guys who could technically fit the escort bill. But they may just have a “boyfriend” that they’ve managed to sugar a bit…Get them into a job, buy a car etc. But when I look around, it’s not as many guys out here doing this real time as it seems. A lot of these guys out here just be playing the field, trying to date multiple people and calling them “friends”. It’s such a mess that I rather just stick with escorting lol. One guy the other day told me, “a friend is coming into town this weekend” but then when I delved deeper, it was someone he was getting involved with. Couldn’t even be transparent and just say it 2-3 weeks ago when I was asking to meet up for a 2nd time. Tangent but…that’s how it goes lol.

Hmm, perhaps so. Maybe the issue is bigger than what’s being displayed. And of course the other factor: choices in cities. There’s so many escorts/masseurs who have flooded the market in many cities, yet there’s not many reliable sites. I’ve said this before, but I’m from the era where you could pick your “poison” (Or pleasure). Backpage, Craigslist, Men 4 Rent, rentboy, RentMasseur, and then RentMen were all options to be. It’s just unpredictable across the board. Some weeks nothing is going on, other weeks I’m meeting amazing clients. I wonder, is it slow or am I anticipating more than what’s possible? What I do know is: most all bookings lately are last minute under 24 hours notice. And in some ways it’s challenging because I never know if and how to plan my next day. And I also will go to the city (I live an hour away) and hang around waiting for a call some days. Nothing. Then I’m at home with nothing on schedule, bored out of my mind and decide to fire up a BBQ: client wants to meet in an hour. Which is how I was I unable to take an appointment the other day. It’s like everything in my area and others seems last resort. I just can’t always operate on being available “today” or even “tomorrow afternoon”.

You know, I just want to harp on this for a minute. What you’re saying is likely true however: I think the real issue is many (especially gay) Americans living above their means. I have seen so many times, single gay men living in a huge 3-4 bedroom home BY THEMSELVES. And then claiming they pride themselves on having their “space and independence”. But then when it comes time to spend money on friends or dates, they want to be cheap. It pisses me off. It’s like, why not get a roommate or 2 if you can’t afford a $9.99 burger? I know that’s not ideal but there’s some people out here living with parents or reliant on a failing relationship just to keep a roof over their head. Having a roommate or 2 isn’t going to kill someone, if they go about it responsibly. Lot of these guys are living in homes made for dual income families with kids. It’s like I get it, if you can afford it why not. But what I hate is when they make like I have to be “accepting” of their cheapness/lowballing ways. And I’m fed up. I was having a conversation about this with a guy today. He never wants to spend a dime, but yet has this big 2 story townhome. His roommate moved out so now he’s scraping by. I offered to move in and help him out, but he didn’t want a roommate situation. And I don’t care now because pretty soon I’ll be moving into a place of my own, I’m over trying to expect flaky dudes to be dependable for any time of living/extended stay situation. Some people get exactly what they didn’t bargain for. Inflation isn’t necessarily as bad as people play it out to be. I go to stores everyday and even though some things like groceries/food are high, a lot of stuff is still manageable if searched properly. Some people don’t really know what it’s like to be broke. Like poor. Don’t own a home, don’t own a car, nothing. They bitch about their car insurance being $40 more. Well shit, some people can’t even afford car insurance. I struggle to pay my car insurance every month. Not because I don’t feel like it, but because the days when it’s due, I don’t always have the funds to pay it: and I have 2 vehicles to cover. My rates aren’t even that high as it could be in some states. But when I’m paying for rentmen ads, hotels, gas, travel expenses: Insurance is just an extra expense but, it wouldn’t be smart to go without. I was “arguing” with someone the other day who’s so cheap he thinks $90 a month is too much for full coverage. I’m like dude…try living in Florida and paying that or double, just for bare minimum. Anyhow, I can go on but: that’s my take on inflation. It’s not necessarily inflation. It’s people’s desire to live above their means and not pool together money to win win for everyone. Well in that picture, I should have blurred out everything except “falsifying”. That said; I agree with some of the posters regarding agreeing with whatever ideas suits them best. Hopefully this does not affect the escort/porn star industry negatively, and we can simply see it as it is. However, the media has not done a great job with portraying us as troublemakers and snitches. I know what doesn’t come out in the wash, comes out in the rinse but: some things you just have to play dumb and be like; I have no idea who/what you talking about.

I have had the full series myself over the last year. However I will say, a couple days after having had the last round of that and another vaccination the same day: I had like the worst lower back pain and had to go to the ER twice. I’ve had back pain before but, that was like I’ve never experienced. Idk why. Was hard to walk, hard to sit, hard to lay down. I couldn’t really see but a couple people for like 3 weeks. That said, I probably recommend taking it easy and not booking anyone the first 2-4 days after getting a vaccine. I’ve been wanting to adopt a policy of ensuring all clients wash their hands and do mouthwash soon as they walk in the door (and me doing the same). However, most always show up hygienic fortunately. But it always just gives extra assurance of sanitation. Touching your steering wheel, door knobs, etc. can pick up germs…and if you touch yours or someone else’s dick and you or the other guy sucks it…not good. Also, showering after is always good practice. I like to shower after every appointment. I also spray down my hotel carpets and showers with Lysol/Odoban when I first arrive and after each shower/visit. What irks me off the most, is that some of the hotels I’ve used haven’t been as clean as I prefer. I try to keep it under $100 a night, but in some cities and especially in 2024: that’s getting really harder. All my favorite Hilton and Marriotts want half of my rate or more just to stay. I had a client pay for me a room at one of the actual Marriotts for one night with points, and I started to stay a 2nd night but it was going to be like $245. And I’m not trying to see 5 clients in a day to offset that. I have to look harder to find a nice room at my price point lately.

Nope. Because a lot of times clients who want in-call to come to us don’t always pay for the hotel. They either A) assume we already have it figured out or B) expect it to be included in the rate. Outcalls are different, assuming the client is booking the room or has a place ahead. Even if I’m traveling to a town on my own, no guarantee I’ll have a hotel to host. Idk if people don’t think about it but: an escort can still travel to a city and not book a hotel. They could be seeing friends, family, just driving thru by car etc. However in my case, unless I know someone in the town I usually try to book a room to host out of. However, I can’t do it if I have no appointments. With the price of hotels, it’s too big a gamble.

Provider opinion here: not necessarily. Many clients want me to host. Many times however, I’m only outcall. I have a car, and all the essentials, but it’s the venue that needs to be arranged. By sending a deposit, it ensures I can afford getting that hotel. And a larger deposit (which I recommend for longer sessions) ensures the place I get is not just a bed, but a place with luxury accommodations. Without a deposit, there are times I just won’t host. And that’s regardless of whether I have my own place or not. Like over the long weekend, my family rented a house out by the lake. I could not host there, but could gladly do outcalls. However, one person refused to do deposit (he also has a bad rep for being a flake based on research). So I was like fuck it, I won’t go. Why would I leave my comfortable Lake house to go see him, without a deposit? That’s foolish. Look at the drive I would have had to do: I wasn’t about to be driving all thru the woods at nighttime to meet this person, without a deposit (that’s not a house address, merely an apartment which is even MORE reason to not go without deposit.) Imagine I go all that distance, and he flakes? I have to then drive all the way back. Key word: Grindr. As in, not a real paid professional site.

Sometimes I wonder were the term “lady of the evening” comes from, considering most bookings might be daytime. Maybe years ago, most clients found a way to sneak out and meet at night lol. Also, I would say only a limited percent of clients I come across: are married with kids. They may have a husband, but rarely wife and kids. I’ve met a few where the kids are adults and have kids of their own 🤷🏾‍♂️ Right, the business is throwing a time at you. You’re not throwing a time at the business. Which means you have to yield to what they have available. That’s different than calling the secretary and telling what time YOU want. They might try to match you but ultimately it’s up to what their availability is.

Well….maybe that’s “present”, but the history is a bit more involved. I won’t discuss but Google has a few references of Britain and America’s part in the 🚢 “trade” 😐 I think that’s already been happening. With Texas and Oklahoma, even Florida. Even though I hear about the economy, it seems this Memorial Day weekend they say was “busiest ever”. I’m hearing about the economy, but I just don’t see actual things indicating that people are so poor, other than the fact it seems there isn’t as much money going into the sex work arena as I would expect. I posted on Facebook the other day, “this is not the time to be “cheering” I feel. Considering many cities are packed with “porn stars”, I definitely don’t think it’s going to be of benefit to the industry. I could see that but, idk…I guess I could be overthinking it. It might “shock” the industry overall until the dust settles, but I just hate that porn star and payment has to be the topic at all in this situation. They don’t have anything to do with us, but it’s still a big picture. And people have a wild way of blaming sex workers as a whole, versus the actual circumstances.

Yeah, I let him know I’m not the one for the games and nonsense. I basically asked for a cancel fee, he got bitchy and I told him, enough is enough. I’m tired. I go thru enough as it is, just trying to maintain. I can’t handle all my stuff, on top of someone’s bitchy impatient ways. I’ve just had to cut a lot a nonsense people out of my peripheral, in the city I base out of. Dealing with constant disrespect really takes a toll on the esteem. Plus the person in question, I know he didn’t really want to pay. I won’t go into detail, but he alluded to wanting to have a “freebie” and I was trying to work with him on an affordable rate instead. However, I’ve said before: most meets under $150/200, aren’t sustainable unless it’s high volume or very frugal survival mode. Pretty soon, I’m considering only offering $500 meets in cities within a 4 hour radius. Now as an alternative: I did meet someone the other day around 2:45 in the afternoon. But, we planned this the day prior and I was already in my “out and about” mode. We also COORDINATED this, he didn’t just throw a time at me. We had to come up which time was best based on what we both could do.

It’s true. You’d be amazed about how paranoid people in this country can be about things. I know some believe it’s not going to have any effect, but I think there a lot of silent potentials out there who might be a bit gun shy. All they see is porn star + money = jail. Especially in more conservative regions. Honestly though, I just don’t see why it even went at far as it did. If the person of interest was “paid” initially, you would think the person would not say much about it to begin with. But I guess we don’t know all the details. And yes, what you mention too is also partially why some people don’t want to screen or share anything about themselves. I know for me, I don’t meet people anonymously claiming to bring cash only: I have to know at least a few select details about them. If they’re afraid to share anything: I’m not willing to meet. It’s a safety risk. Some of the hookup app guys aren’t no better, some expect to meet with no phone number. Which is always a red flag. Even if they are who they say they are, it’s a sign they have something to hide, or just aren’t transparent about who they are.

So…I’m just going to clarify this on my end: My deposit policy isn’t just for the sake of “not being flaked on”. If that was the case, I would charge everybody a deposit from hookup apps, to friends, and everything else. A deposit for me is because I’m spending money to see clients; whether that be booking rooms or putting fuel and effort to commute someplace. So it’s more than just “wishful thinking”, it’s real funds out of my pocket, no wait: funds from a PREVIOUS booking. Think about it (using basic elementary math here, not verbatim) so and so Escort makes $500 from appointments. Then gets another appointment request say, the next day at 5 p.m. after checkout time. The provider must then pay an extra night for the booking out of his $500. That means spending a $100 in confidence client shows up. If client fails to show up: the actual cost is hypothetically; $300/hr PLUS $100 hotel= $400. And let’s not include cost of another client elsewhere that could have been booked at the same time: Another $300. So now a total loss of $700. All because failure to collect deposit, or client’s unwillingness to send one. Thats hypothetical math, but the loss could be even greater, or less depending on rates and hotel cost. But often times more. Also you said: I opted instead to see a handsome guy closer to home this week. Suddenly, my appointment had to be cancelled - not rescheduled, but cancelled on his end. Now I'm understandably furious, as I could've had a terrific time with the traveling guy this past weekend In this case unfortunately, that was a decision you had to live with. In this biz and in general gay sex and travel in general, you can’t always “opt out” for the easiest option. For me, staying closer to home is always more of a loss, versus driving elsewhere. Over Memorial weekend, I left home with only $125 to budget for a 2 day vacation (partly thanks to a client who flaked on our appointment). Accommodations and entertainment were covered by family, but by the time I got gas, nick nacks, food here and there: that’s nothing. Fortunately, it paid off because I ended up booking 2 clients plus a hookup app guy who gave me a a few bucks 💵 (he was hot and this was a small rural town area…and I had no clients up until that point. Was waking up with 🍆 each morning lol). So you can’t really fault the flaky guy for the disappointment considering you did choose him, but don’t beat yourself up either. For all you know, you may have avoided an accident or a waste of time. Sometimes the only way to bounce back, is to just stay in the game. Find someone else. At least the guy did cancel before you made your way. But the difference is: many clients are liable to cancel when you’ve done all the above: and are on the way to their location. But paying a client a deposit just isn’t sensible. I know you want to be facetious but, it’s not at all feasible. That’s like a drive thru saying: “we’ll pay you while you wait for your food”. Nah 👎🏾

That’s what Arnold probably said 🙃

Idk, a client just told me the other day that he’s looking to go into government. But hopefully people can understand what the actual “issue” was:

I hope you’re right… But idk, you’d be amazed how far people will speculate. I had a conversation with a client the other day regarding if the police “leave us alone” or not…

Trying hard not to sound political by any means: But I do wonder. I know sometimes, people’s fears and concerns about stuff tends to be rather broad when it comes down to things…and I feel sometimes people don’t always put 2 and 2 together. All they may see is “paid a porn star”, and with RentMen being considered “porn star performers”, maybe there will be those who assume paying ANY porn star is somehow “bad”, versus seeing it for the fact that it’s bigger picture than that. That said, I’ve noticed ever since this has started, biz has just been very slow in many cities for the past few months from RentMen. Just recently I’ve got a couple bookings but lately there’s been long stretches in between.

Makes sense, and I know you’re well meaning so…I’m moreso referring to the “overall” impression when someone is trying to get someone to meet on the dot. However I can’t see how the rest of that conversation went earlier that you posted. I just think clocking the arrival to be there in that fashion might come off pushy to another provider, unless you know the guy and are just joking around with him. Also for me, as stated earlier: I usually try to give a time window because of my commute to get to appointments. 12-12:30 is less stressful than trying to arrive by midnight. It’s amazing how much time I lose just stopping to get gas or stopping at traffic lights. What seems like 30 seconds, ends up adding 15 minutes to the commute. And since most client’s location isn’t a regular, everyday commute, there’s also the not knowing what detours/etc may lie ahead. But this is also why I only do deposit Outcalls because, I would hate to travel out somewhere only to be stood up or cancelled en route. Last month: I arrived on time and in 15 minutes of a client calling me as I was already out driving around and nearby (another reason too I don’t answer calls or blocked numbers). Since he was so close, I didn’t even bother asking deposit. This imbecile had me going to a hotel, knocking on the door and wouldn’t answer. I left, he called me back again claiming he didn’t hear me knocking, and did the same thing 🤦🏾‍♂️ I even had to get the front desk involved by calling the room. No reply. Never again…