JB_Studio38

Good point… And that means people will have to keep in mind; it isn’t a bathhouse. You can’t just pull out dayuse as if walking into midtown spa. I checked and there are some variations in availability. I also noticed trying to book the “Day of” might not work, because if you don’t book by the time that slot starts, there may only be the next available spot. That’s another reason why I’m going to discourage and incentivize same day, afternoon appointments with an added same day booking tip. Not that I don’t want to do same day meets, but I need to start getting paid more for it.

I think I’ll start referring all clients in my local area to dayuse if they want me to host. Simply because I don’t like the hotels in my area: they’re either dirty or overpriced. When I lived in Orlando and Dallas, I used to be able to get many options to 3 and 4 star hotels for under $100. But something about the Midwest, many of the good brands here are like buying tickets for 4 to visit Six Flags 😐

I recently signed up for dayuse app myself. I haven’t used it yet, however there’s 3 hotels participating in the city I live near. Which is okay, but in the future I will start using them if I need to arrange things earlier than a typical hotel will allow. However, from my observations they are mainly only available in bigger metros. And sometimes the rate could be close to what booking for the night somewhere could be. However the advantage is that earlier check in. I’m also going to start referring clients to use it themselves, if I’m not hosting on a particular day and the client can’t host either.

And best one of all: my old text messages that I save FOREVER. So when the same client who flaked, appears 2 years later acting like everything is all cool…I can remind him, “back in 2021, you were scheduled at 9 p.m. and didn’t show up. How would you like to pay for that 😂

And I’ll add additionally: Despite it seeming to be a lot of “porn star” advertisers out there, there’s really not a lot of guys out here in reality doing sex work. There’s a few cities I go to and, I meet guys who could technically fit the escort bill. But they may just have a “boyfriend” that they’ve managed to sugar a bit…Get them into a job, buy a car etc. But when I look around, it’s not as many guys out here doing this real time as it seems. A lot of these guys out here just be playing the field, trying to date multiple people and calling them “friends”. It’s such a mess that I rather just stick with escorting lol. One guy the other day told me, “a friend is coming into town this weekend” but then when I delved deeper, it was someone he was getting involved with. Couldn’t even be transparent and just say it 2-3 weeks ago when I was asking to meet up for a 2nd time. Tangent but…that’s how it goes lol.

Hmm, perhaps so. Maybe the issue is bigger than what’s being displayed. And of course the other factor: choices in cities. There’s so many escorts/masseurs who have flooded the market in many cities, yet there’s not many reliable sites. I’ve said this before, but I’m from the era where you could pick your “poison” (Or pleasure). Backpage, Craigslist, Men 4 Rent, rentboy, RentMasseur, and then RentMen were all options to be. It’s just unpredictable across the board. Some weeks nothing is going on, other weeks I’m meeting amazing clients. I wonder, is it slow or am I anticipating more than what’s possible? What I do know is: most all bookings lately are last minute under 24 hours notice. And in some ways it’s challenging because I never know if and how to plan my next day. And I also will go to the city (I live an hour away) and hang around waiting for a call some days. Nothing. Then I’m at home with nothing on schedule, bored out of my mind and decide to fire up a BBQ: client wants to meet in an hour. Which is how I was I unable to take an appointment the other day. It’s like everything in my area and others seems last resort. I just can’t always operate on being available “today” or even “tomorrow afternoon”.

You know, I just want to harp on this for a minute. What you’re saying is likely true however: I think the real issue is many (especially gay) Americans living above their means. I have seen so many times, single gay men living in a huge 3-4 bedroom home BY THEMSELVES. And then claiming they pride themselves on having their “space and independence”. But then when it comes time to spend money on friends or dates, they want to be cheap. It pisses me off. It’s like, why not get a roommate or 2 if you can’t afford a $9.99 burger? I know that’s not ideal but there’s some people out here living with parents or reliant on a failing relationship just to keep a roof over their head. Having a roommate or 2 isn’t going to kill someone, if they go about it responsibly. Lot of these guys are living in homes made for dual income families with kids. It’s like I get it, if you can afford it why not. But what I hate is when they make like I have to be “accepting” of their cheapness/lowballing ways. And I’m fed up. I was having a conversation about this with a guy today. He never wants to spend a dime, but yet has this big 2 story townhome. His roommate moved out so now he’s scraping by. I offered to move in and help him out, but he didn’t want a roommate situation. And I don’t care now because pretty soon I’ll be moving into a place of my own, I’m over trying to expect flaky dudes to be dependable for any time of living/extended stay situation. Some people get exactly what they didn’t bargain for. Inflation isn’t necessarily as bad as people play it out to be. I go to stores everyday and even though some things like groceries/food are high, a lot of stuff is still manageable if searched properly. Some people don’t really know what it’s like to be broke. Like poor. Don’t own a home, don’t own a car, nothing. They bitch about their car insurance being $40 more. Well shit, some people can’t even afford car insurance. I struggle to pay my car insurance every month. Not because I don’t feel like it, but because the days when it’s due, I don’t always have the funds to pay it: and I have 2 vehicles to cover. My rates aren’t even that high as it could be in some states. But when I’m paying for rentmen ads, hotels, gas, travel expenses: Insurance is just an extra expense but, it wouldn’t be smart to go without. I was “arguing” with someone the other day who’s so cheap he thinks $90 a month is too much for full coverage. I’m like dude…try living in Florida and paying that or double, just for bare minimum. Anyhow, I can go on but: that’s my take on inflation. It’s not necessarily inflation. It’s people’s desire to live above their means and not pool together money to win win for everyone. Well in that picture, I should have blurred out everything except “falsifying”. That said; I agree with some of the posters regarding agreeing with whatever ideas suits them best. Hopefully this does not affect the escort/porn star industry negatively, and we can simply see it as it is. However, the media has not done a great job with portraying us as troublemakers and snitches. I know what doesn’t come out in the wash, comes out in the rinse but: some things you just have to play dumb and be like; I have no idea who/what you talking about.

I have had the full series myself over the last year. However I will say, a couple days after having had the last round of that and another vaccination the same day: I had like the worst lower back pain and had to go to the ER twice. I’ve had back pain before but, that was like I’ve never experienced. Idk why. Was hard to walk, hard to sit, hard to lay down. I couldn’t really see but a couple people for like 3 weeks. That said, I probably recommend taking it easy and not booking anyone the first 2-4 days after getting a vaccine. I’ve been wanting to adopt a policy of ensuring all clients wash their hands and do mouthwash soon as they walk in the door (and me doing the same). However, most always show up hygienic fortunately. But it always just gives extra assurance of sanitation. Touching your steering wheel, door knobs, etc. can pick up germs…and if you touch yours or someone else’s dick and you or the other guy sucks it…not good. Also, showering after is always good practice. I like to shower after every appointment. I also spray down my hotel carpets and showers with Lysol/Odoban when I first arrive and after each shower/visit. What irks me off the most, is that some of the hotels I’ve used haven’t been as clean as I prefer. I try to keep it under $100 a night, but in some cities and especially in 2024: that’s getting really harder. All my favorite Hilton and Marriotts want half of my rate or more just to stay. I had a client pay for me a room at one of the actual Marriotts for one night with points, and I started to stay a 2nd night but it was going to be like $245. And I’m not trying to see 5 clients in a day to offset that. I have to look harder to find a nice room at my price point lately.

Nope. Because a lot of times clients who want in-call to come to us don’t always pay for the hotel. They either A) assume we already have it figured out or B) expect it to be included in the rate. Outcalls are different, assuming the client is booking the room or has a place ahead. Even if I’m traveling to a town on my own, no guarantee I’ll have a hotel to host. Idk if people don’t think about it but: an escort can still travel to a city and not book a hotel. They could be seeing friends, family, just driving thru by car etc. However in my case, unless I know someone in the town I usually try to book a room to host out of. However, I can’t do it if I have no appointments. With the price of hotels, it’s too big a gamble.

Provider opinion here: not necessarily. Many clients want me to host. Many times however, I’m only outcall. I have a car, and all the essentials, but it’s the venue that needs to be arranged. By sending a deposit, it ensures I can afford getting that hotel. And a larger deposit (which I recommend for longer sessions) ensures the place I get is not just a bed, but a place with luxury accommodations. Without a deposit, there are times I just won’t host. And that’s regardless of whether I have my own place or not. Like over the long weekend, my family rented a house out by the lake. I could not host there, but could gladly do outcalls. However, one person refused to do deposit (he also has a bad rep for being a flake based on research). So I was like fuck it, I won’t go. Why would I leave my comfortable Lake house to go see him, without a deposit? That’s foolish. Look at the drive I would have had to do: I wasn’t about to be driving all thru the woods at nighttime to meet this person, without a deposit (that’s not a house address, merely an apartment which is even MORE reason to not go without deposit.) Imagine I go all that distance, and he flakes? I have to then drive all the way back. Key word: Grindr. As in, not a real paid professional site.

Sometimes I wonder were the term “lady of the evening” comes from, considering most bookings might be daytime. Maybe years ago, most clients found a way to sneak out and meet at night lol. Also, I would say only a limited percent of clients I come across: are married with kids. They may have a husband, but rarely wife and kids. I’ve met a few where the kids are adults and have kids of their own 🤷🏾‍♂️ Right, the business is throwing a time at you. You’re not throwing a time at the business. Which means you have to yield to what they have available. That’s different than calling the secretary and telling what time YOU want. They might try to match you but ultimately it’s up to what their availability is.

Well….maybe that’s “present”, but the history is a bit more involved. I won’t discuss but Google has a few references of Britain and America’s part in the 🚢 “trade” 😐 I think that’s already been happening. With Texas and Oklahoma, even Florida. Even though I hear about the economy, it seems this Memorial Day weekend they say was “busiest ever”. I’m hearing about the economy, but I just don’t see actual things indicating that people are so poor, other than the fact it seems there isn’t as much money going into the sex work arena as I would expect. I posted on Facebook the other day, “this is not the time to be “cheering” I feel. Considering many cities are packed with “porn stars”, I definitely don’t think it’s going to be of benefit to the industry. I could see that but, idk…I guess I could be overthinking it. It might “shock” the industry overall until the dust settles, but I just hate that porn star and payment has to be the topic at all in this situation. They don’t have anything to do with us, but it’s still a big picture. And people have a wild way of blaming sex workers as a whole, versus the actual circumstances.

Yeah, I let him know I’m not the one for the games and nonsense. I basically asked for a cancel fee, he got bitchy and I told him, enough is enough. I’m tired. I go thru enough as it is, just trying to maintain. I can’t handle all my stuff, on top of someone’s bitchy impatient ways. I’ve just had to cut a lot a nonsense people out of my peripheral, in the city I base out of. Dealing with constant disrespect really takes a toll on the esteem. Plus the person in question, I know he didn’t really want to pay. I won’t go into detail, but he alluded to wanting to have a “freebie” and I was trying to work with him on an affordable rate instead. However, I’ve said before: most meets under $150/200, aren’t sustainable unless it’s high volume or very frugal survival mode. Pretty soon, I’m considering only offering $500 meets in cities within a 4 hour radius. Now as an alternative: I did meet someone the other day around 2:45 in the afternoon. But, we planned this the day prior and I was already in my “out and about” mode. We also COORDINATED this, he didn’t just throw a time at me. We had to come up which time was best based on what we both could do.

It’s true. You’d be amazed about how paranoid people in this country can be about things. I know some believe it’s not going to have any effect, but I think there a lot of silent potentials out there who might be a bit gun shy. All they see is porn star + money = jail. Especially in more conservative regions. Honestly though, I just don’t see why it even went at far as it did. If the person of interest was “paid” initially, you would think the person would not say much about it to begin with. But I guess we don’t know all the details. And yes, what you mention too is also partially why some people don’t want to screen or share anything about themselves. I know for me, I don’t meet people anonymously claiming to bring cash only: I have to know at least a few select details about them. If they’re afraid to share anything: I’m not willing to meet. It’s a safety risk. Some of the hookup app guys aren’t no better, some expect to meet with no phone number. Which is always a red flag. Even if they are who they say they are, it’s a sign they have something to hide, or just aren’t transparent about who they are.

So…I’m just going to clarify this on my end: My deposit policy isn’t just for the sake of “not being flaked on”. If that was the case, I would charge everybody a deposit from hookup apps, to friends, and everything else. A deposit for me is because I’m spending money to see clients; whether that be booking rooms or putting fuel and effort to commute someplace. So it’s more than just “wishful thinking”, it’s real funds out of my pocket, no wait: funds from a PREVIOUS booking. Think about it (using basic elementary math here, not verbatim) so and so Escort makes $500 from appointments. Then gets another appointment request say, the next day at 5 p.m. after checkout time. The provider must then pay an extra night for the booking out of his $500. That means spending a $100 in confidence client shows up. If client fails to show up: the actual cost is hypothetically; $300/hr PLUS $100 hotel= $400. And let’s not include cost of another client elsewhere that could have been booked at the same time: Another $300. So now a total loss of $700. All because failure to collect deposit, or client’s unwillingness to send one. Thats hypothetical math, but the loss could be even greater, or less depending on rates and hotel cost. But often times more. Also you said: I opted instead to see a handsome guy closer to home this week. Suddenly, my appointment had to be cancelled - not rescheduled, but cancelled on his end. Now I'm understandably furious, as I could've had a terrific time with the traveling guy this past weekend In this case unfortunately, that was a decision you had to live with. In this biz and in general gay sex and travel in general, you can’t always “opt out” for the easiest option. For me, staying closer to home is always more of a loss, versus driving elsewhere. Over Memorial weekend, I left home with only $125 to budget for a 2 day vacation (partly thanks to a client who flaked on our appointment). Accommodations and entertainment were covered by family, but by the time I got gas, nick nacks, food here and there: that’s nothing. Fortunately, it paid off because I ended up booking 2 clients plus a hookup app guy who gave me a a few bucks 💵 (he was hot and this was a small rural town area…and I had no clients up until that point. Was waking up with 🍆 each morning lol). So you can’t really fault the flaky guy for the disappointment considering you did choose him, but don’t beat yourself up either. For all you know, you may have avoided an accident or a waste of time. Sometimes the only way to bounce back, is to just stay in the game. Find someone else. At least the guy did cancel before you made your way. But the difference is: many clients are liable to cancel when you’ve done all the above: and are on the way to their location. But paying a client a deposit just isn’t sensible. I know you want to be facetious but, it’s not at all feasible. That’s like a drive thru saying: “we’ll pay you while you wait for your food”. Nah 👎🏾

That’s what Arnold probably said 🙃

Idk, a client just told me the other day that he’s looking to go into government. But hopefully people can understand what the actual “issue” was:

I hope you’re right… But idk, you’d be amazed how far people will speculate. I had a conversation with a client the other day regarding if the police “leave us alone” or not…

Trying hard not to sound political by any means: But I do wonder. I know sometimes, people’s fears and concerns about stuff tends to be rather broad when it comes down to things…and I feel sometimes people don’t always put 2 and 2 together. All they may see is “paid a porn star”, and with RentMen being considered “porn star performers”, maybe there will be those who assume paying ANY porn star is somehow “bad”, versus seeing it for the fact that it’s bigger picture than that. That said, I’ve noticed ever since this has started, biz has just been very slow in many cities for the past few months from RentMen. Just recently I’ve got a couple bookings but lately there’s been long stretches in between.

Makes sense, and I know you’re well meaning so…I’m moreso referring to the “overall” impression when someone is trying to get someone to meet on the dot. However I can’t see how the rest of that conversation went earlier that you posted. I just think clocking the arrival to be there in that fashion might come off pushy to another provider, unless you know the guy and are just joking around with him. Also for me, as stated earlier: I usually try to give a time window because of my commute to get to appointments. 12-12:30 is less stressful than trying to arrive by midnight. It’s amazing how much time I lose just stopping to get gas or stopping at traffic lights. What seems like 30 seconds, ends up adding 15 minutes to the commute. And since most client’s location isn’t a regular, everyday commute, there’s also the not knowing what detours/etc may lie ahead. But this is also why I only do deposit Outcalls because, I would hate to travel out somewhere only to be stood up or cancelled en route. Last month: I arrived on time and in 15 minutes of a client calling me as I was already out driving around and nearby (another reason too I don’t answer calls or blocked numbers). Since he was so close, I didn’t even bother asking deposit. This imbecile had me going to a hotel, knocking on the door and wouldn’t answer. I left, he called me back again claiming he didn’t hear me knocking, and did the same thing 🤦🏾‍♂️ I even had to get the front desk involved by calling the room. No reply. Never again…

Personally I don’t like this approach. Idk if this is someone you know already…but if someone texted me in that fashion, I would tell them: “if you think you can get to me faster, then maybe you should arrange an in-call.” I would just find it quite pushy. Similar to another thread I have up, I think Grace periods can be done away with all together and traded for proper communication. My absolute pet peeve, is when a client tries to cancel in the middle of my commute, which can vary from 20 minutes in town to 5 hours when going to the next city. But it’s usually always an hour because I don’t have any gay, affluent men in my town. So I have to drive out Kansas City 2-3 days a week just to get bookings, unless I’m visiting a different city and have a hotel close by everything. Imagine if an escort was rushing to reach a client, and then crashed and injured himself or someone else in the process? Because clients love to text, “are you close? Are you coming? Are you there? Okay just cancel and send deposit back” 😤 I doubt these guys were on their way to a client but, similar to this accident in Dallas the other month, shit like this happens everyday during “Rush hour”: And contrary to belief, many clients contacting sex workers give lousy notice. They think just because they contact and ask for a time, that it’ll work. Then they wonder why the escort isn’t on time. And often times, expect it same day notice. Which is fine, but if someone wants a same day booking, they have to be willing to be patient…not bent out of shape over a 30 minute or even 2 hour delay. That’s not a lot of time. Whenever I call dentist, eye doctor, car repair, etc etc: I often can’t even get an appointment in for at least a week. In St. Louis, I was waiting MONTHS just to see a specialist. By the time they were ready to schedule me, I either had to cancel or the ailment healed on it’s on. But there was definitely no, “U AVAILABLE TONIGHT?” 🙄 What really gets me: are the ones who wait MONTHS/YEARS between texts, but then can’t be bothered to give the escort a few extra minutes/couple hours more time to arrive. Like hold: you haven’t contacted me since 2021. Now it’s an emergency?

Bingo. And I’ll add further: guys have to either A) not plan stuff too close the session or at the very least B)inform the provider that they have something going on. Now case in point, I know showing text conversations can be a bit drawn out to read but, when they say there’s “2 sides to every story”, there’s a reason why. Now this is me in green (non iPhone conversation) #1 the above invite happens hours after his last text around noon. And I didn’t even think he was trying to meet the next day at all. That’s why I told @marylander1940, the day before isn’t necessarily plenty of notice in ALL cases. Normally it MIGHT be, but not if someone just happens to pick a day I have something planned. And if it’s a city that’s out of state, double that amount of notice. Next: #2 why the f**k would he wait until several conversations later the next day, close to the time of the booking to tell me he has a company dinner planned? If he had limited time constraints, I told him he should have communicated that better…just like I told him when I needed to. Then later on in the message he says, “we should push it to next Wednesday”. What makes him think I’m even available then, especially when I may have had a need for the money the day we planned . Now I’m supposed to be willing to wait a whole week? The audacity 🤦🏾‍♂️ And I know it sounds like I’m just harping on that 1 booking but, I’ve seen things like this happen before. The client comes across pushy and impatient, despite previously making it seem he had plenty of availability previously. It wasn’t necessarily the time of day that was the issue.

Keep reading… In this person’s case: dude is a single gay man with no wife or kids to go home to. He has an ex husband, which sounds like he’s gotten stiffed on the divorce (and probably taking it out on me in the process), but it’s not due to having to be home by a certain time. The main point though is, I think clients need to recognize that escorts/masseurs don’t necessarily live to revolve their world around them. And I dislike when a client makes me feel like my effort to drive to them is insignificant. This particular client had a nack for being impatient with me, and idk if it’s anxiety, controlling or what: but I would imagine most escorts would have dropped him right off the bat. But being I have a limited amount of guys to work with in the market I live: I can endure it, TO AN EXTENT. But at this point, I’m tired. I don’t have time for bossy, demeaning, petty dudes who think their narrow timelines, is more important than essential things I may have to handle. Some of them don’t realize: if these things aren’t taken care, I can’t operate or be in a capacity to meet them at all.

I’ve checked out dayuse, but unless it’s someplace like New York/Los Angeles or you really have a need to check into a hotel early, I have seen Day use to cost almost as much as a night at a hotel. Usually something like Check in at 9 a.m., checkout at 5. I usually prefer to get the full day’s use. Perhaps if you’re very early and just flying into town, but I’ve had times where I just really asked the hotel for an early check in due to extenuating circumstances. Doesn’t always get granted though so, I’ve just stuck with making certain “hours” that I’m available to host. No worries, I’m not too fixated on discussing the topic in great detail. I’ve just always wanted to say that, because idk how some manage to take daytime only clients, and still work 9 to 5. That said, this particular client was an occasional repeat. So we’ve met a handful of times already. However, the whole time we’ve known each other; it’s been an issue with his unwillingness to be patient, and him occasionally cancelling when I’m getting ready or on my way (sometimes he would send cancel fee/deposits, other times we’d have to argue it), despite me being the one commuting to his place which he knows is over an hour away across town. This time he didn’t want to send one, and wanted to start being condescending and arguing. I’m like screw this, he was already going to get a special price and couldn’t be considerate of that. I told him, it’s people like you who make doing business in this town (Kansas City) a living hell. Many the clients out here are demanding, argue over price, not reliable, always creating some drama and animosity if the slightest thing doesn’t go their way or you speak up for yourself. It zaps energy and undermines confidence. That’s why I just have to focus more on getting out of this area for awhile going into next month. My phone has been busy: but only from clients in other cities I’m advertising in. This has been a burden to endure…

Umm yes…And I told him this the night before. But then the next day, he acts like I didn’t tell him this. I specifically said: “I don’t want to schedule 4 p.m. because I have obligations at 1 p.m. that could take at least two hours.” Then I added, 5/5:30 I can do. He sends me a snarky reply that made me predict he was going to do the same he always does: cancels and says it’s going to be too late. Which sure enough the next day 2 hours prior to 5:30, he drops he has a company dinner, tells me if I can’t make it by 6 to cancel, even though I told him again, I could be there at 5:30. 🤦🏾‍♂️ So no, 10 p.m. for 4 p.m. the next day isn’t sufficient notice when the person has stuff going on in the afternoon that could conflict with that timing. I can text every contact on my phone and ask them to meet me at 4:30 tomorrow. And guess how many will be available? Most likely non except one who is always available anytime, but most likely non because it’s short notice. 🤷🏾‍♂️ On top of that, he lives over an hour from me, add 20 minutes during the daytime regardless what day of week. He knows this, but what he wants me to do is: cancel my plans and rush thru all of it to cater to him. And I’m not about to do that.