JB_Studio38

I'm addicted to blocking guys online... What does it mean about me? - Queerty WWW.QUEERTY.COM Hi Jake, I’m 35 and haven’t had the best luck with dating, or hooking up for that matter. I grew up bullied a lot... This is a follow up to another thread: Which I felt ran its course…but I randomly been experiencing the same thing myself on the GoodWill app (aka Grindr 🚮). Of course I’ve also had it happen on my RM advertisements as well from clients. I don’t get phased by it but, it is perplexing and annoying for sure. Thats why I often try to move things away from online as soon as possible. You can spend days chatting here and there, and wind up blocked. I find it especially common it seems from “certain type” (I won’t say who because it may be portrayed as race card-ish, and it isn’t just ONE that’s doing it) guys to do shit like that. To me it’s so immature. For adults to be on online platforms looking for pleasure, being unable to have the courtesy to speak their mind or say yes or no to something is just not good. So yeah, anyone who feels blocking guys left and right, regardless of the platform or who’s side it’s coming from: should probably check themselves…into counseling 🤣 If someone can send me ass and dick pics or trade ass and dick pics and still block: that’s someone not being serious at all and is probably messy and grimy in how they go about their “fun” anyway.

No surprise 🤷🏾‍♂️ Abercrombie has always exemplified the privilege of White, wealthy, and what defines attraction. I know they tried to clean that up awhile back, but it still goes on today…it’s even how the gay America 🌎 revolves (in many cities except maybe Atlanta and Miami proper where minorities are the majority) . It was ingrained in adolescents during the most crucial times of their lives: middle and high school. Even though one person doesn’t speak for an entire brand, what they promote still encourages a “mentality” among others, to make some feel inferior and others superior (convenient huh) in some way.

I wanted to add also: I understand the general gist of this however, I think some of the things mentioned aren’t the escort’s issue. A client losing “interest” because a provider is in an area too long, seems unreasonable considering: it’s an online ad. The client is free to look or not look however they choose. A client who gets bored that an escort is visiting a town for 2 weeks, or decides to do an extended stay in an area: is someone who needs to find other hobbies other than cruising escort ads hoping a guy “goes away” after a few days. People should feel comfortable they can advertise in a town however long they feel. I know for me, sometimes I have to stay in a town a bit longer than just a 2-3 day or week due to things I’m aspiring to do outside of the biz. I also wouldn’t particularly recommend ALL PEOPLE to visit a city without sure clients in the chamber. I agree GOING to a city is the only real way to know what is possible, but I’ve been burned before (words clients often use themselves) going to cities with half assed responses and “inquiries” only to arrive and only 1 or 2 guys follow thru. This is why I’ve had to stick to deposits in my dealings. Taking people’s “word” or going somewhere that I had lots of inquiries: has lost me money and time unnecessarily. I’ll never forget the “Great Indianapolis blunder” and the “Las Vegas bomb”: in my earlier days. I did 1st trips to both cities, after advertising a few days ahead and getting a handful of inquiries. Instead, I arrived and nobody showed up in either. Since then, I’ve had better trips in both locations, but I’ll never go to either again, without clients pre-booked. The trip I’m currently on: It hasn’t been fully bombs and blunders, but it’s been a obscene number of clients who I communicated with before planning this trip: who either flaked or lied about booking me, or maybe had organic reasons to not be able to meet. I was expecting better but, I guess the economy and politics really are shit. Plus like I said earlier, there’s far too many guys on the sites in some of these bigger cities. I’m overwhelmed myself looking thru the listings. I’m going to have to get outta California soon because it’s far too inundated with other sex workers. Even a regular client I know in a medium sized Midwest city has told me on 2-3 occasions, “I went on RentMen the other day and couldn’t BELIEVE how many ads in town there were. I couldn’t believe it”. And re: canvassing cities, that’s why I feel deposits benefit BOTH client and provider because once a legitimate provider has the money in hand, they’re more confident to go forward with the trip. If however, all a person hears is some half ass text about “when are you in (insert city)” followed by “maybe, I’ll possibly let you know”: that provider is probably more likely to cancel the trip. And it’s not just escorts and masseurs either: couple years I did a calendar shoot for a company. There was 12 models involved. We had 3 events in different states to attend to. Each event: only like 3-4 guys of the 12 showed up. The company covered parts of the accommodations, but getting there was our responsibility. The other guys weren’t willing to spend their money upfront to travel to the other cities.

Bravo, bravo…good points made. I’ll also add: before anyone reads this and automatically thinks car travel is best, just be sure to have your mind and other shit in the right place and be aware of the risks. Also, be wary of speeding and overzealous cops: Certain state’s license plates are NOTORIOUS for being suspect and pulled over in new states. If you have anything “suspect”, don’t bring it on the road trip. I had a friend gave me a souvenir of “enhancement products”. As I started to walk out the door, I said: “actually: I won’t be able take it. I can’t risk getting stopped”. Add to: there can be some shitty drivers out there and each state has their “style”. I’m an experienced and schooled driver myself, but I still find myself caving into speeding and “spirited” driving every so often. Add to the fact some of these “potential” clients can push your buttons when you’re trying to travel: for example, I told a client who waited 5 DAYS to return my last text asking if he wanted to schedule while I’m in town: I NEED YOU TO CONFIRM WITHIN 30 MINUTES BEFORE I PASS THE NEXT EXIT (after that, I would have been on my way to the next destination) What does he do? Drags his feet, bullshits, keeps asking stupid questions, not following the directions I’m giving him, etc. He finally 4 hours later says: “okay I’m ready to send the deposit now, where are you?” I’d already left town. I told him what to do within the period of time I needed it. Now he’s been added to the shit list for being unnecessarily difficult🤦🏾‍♂️ I mainly drive because I naturally love to drive anyway. I’ve done trips using flight and in comparison, flying still feels like the least convenient option. Too expensive, too much interactions with people and security, anxiety from missing flights and baggage loss. Not great when your biz requires bringing a lot of things and being on the road a long time. But if someone doesn’t have the patience and know how, driving can be more hassle than it’s worth.

Y’all did what you had to do, in that situation. Doesn’t matter what anyone else would have done. There also isn’t an indication of how long “it” lasted before “shit” happened. Was it 5 minutes, or an hour? In the case of the latter: there’s not much to do but finish off. Now: Were both of these guys aware what they were doing prior to arriving? If not maybe one wasn’t prepared (and I’m not sure whether you meant you booked them at the same or different times). Or if the person says “I just want etc etc and then turns out he actually wants to do XXX at the last minute, then maybe too it wasn’t being properly planned out. In this case, if the bottom decides to not want to continue…it’s not much more to do. But in a situation where time wasn’t a factor: I think there’s the chance to clean up and start back over after some time passes.

I should mention too: even though I commute myself mostly, Amtrak can be a fun way to get between close knit cities. I was able to do to STL to Chicago once on business class for decent price. Plus, Amtrak is much more baggage friendly. No weighing bags, squeezing into cupboards, and the aisles are bigger. I’ll say though: I may be retiring the travel circuit and just finding a decent city that’s close to a couple good areas. Like I’ve mentioned in earlier post: it’s just so many escorts in cities where it didn’t used to. The cities you mentioned, I’ve been to or lived in all. They used to only have a handful, now there’s dozens in the big cities and a dozen in the smaller towns. Many of these cities don’t have enough gay paying clientele to support all at once. I’ve seen places like Nashville, Denver, Phoenix, Tulsa, Washington DC: All places I used to do so well in: Only producing 1 or 2 clients per visit. Sometimes non when you subtract regulars. I’ve been on tour since late September. I’ve been thru 7 cities: but only 4 of those were places that I was able to get booked. Meaning 3 cities, tanked. Not great. We need a revival for certain. Everybody did not grow up on onlyfans or have the savvy to grow subscribers. Good old fashioned in person meets used to bring in a lot of coin. Now: it’s wishy washy.

Hey, former Tampa resident here myself 👋🏽 Also I’m a seasoned traveler who’s been doing it since when it was more lucrative than it is now: however RentMen/Masseur have made it easier by not having to constantly pay extra for travel ads like the old school RentBoy, Craigslist, and Backpage ads used to do I know the first thing you said was airfare: I try to eliminate any dealings with airports/flying when I’m traveling for bookings. #1 it’s too expensive and #2 you have to book too far in advance, to find the good deals. I also never liked the idea of being forced to go to a city that I may need to cancel if biz isn’t ready by the time the flight is booked. I will say it’s become harder to turn profit simply because hotels are higher and there’s more guys than ever on the sites. But what I try to do, and have had guys agree as well: I try to only book a couple days room at a time. If things are going great I’ll add to it, but 3-4 days in a city is usually enough Also: I’ve traveled so much that I now have friends/clients in various cities and states that I post up with in between bookings. So I can base with them, and then switch to hotels when I need to host. It’s not always convenient though and I do require deposits since people can flake out and leave you stuck with a hotel bill for the day. I would HIGHLY suggest doing deposits if you want to protect your time and schedule. You forgot the 4th: guys who simply don’t want to be tied to one city, especially the city they live: which may be economically disadvantageous, racist, or homophobic, or unfriendly towards gay escorts. For me, I’m not in any of the 3 brackets you mentioned: but I travel because there’s opportunity on the road, new guys to meet, new scenery and even better weather, better shopping (can’t always find the same clothes in Florida, that you would find in Denver, etc). Also: not keeping existing clients isn’t always indicative of someone being a scammer. There are some cities where it’s just hard to keep regulars. A lot of cities are over saturated with providers, and there’s only a handful of clients who are serious about paying for one, and paying the RIGHT rates (someone today offered me $60 to meet up). It’s not like Grindr where having lots of options is okay. The more options clients have, the harder it is to hang on and keep them. Many clients just naturally want to wander about and try new guys. Not a bad thing for a traveling escort, but can be a counterproductive thing for a local escort depending on regular business.

Yes, when I lived in South Orlando: the neighborhood my folks lived didn’t have floods as there was a lot of drainage creeks around. Idk how it fared in the hurricane though. Those creeks would occasionally get close to the road but I never seen them flood over. Also, when they build the homes: they layer up like a ton of sand before the foundation is laid. So the house sits higher than the actual ground level. Idk, winter is still bad. I’ve felt my normally solid heavy vehicle, feel like a feather on icy roads. The number of accidents especially in places where people have no idea how to drive in the snow: can be insane. The salt water flooding that is happening to coastal homes, happens every winter in the Midwest: in the form of de-icing. It’s hard on vehicles and roads. Especially Minneapolis, Detroit, Buffalo, etc. with wet snow. Not as much an issue in Denver and other cities with dry snow. Frost bite or falling on ice is also no joke either. I don’t think one is better than the other, it’s more of: which is the one most willing to tolerate? Of course, it’s easier to prepare and work around winter, than a sudden hurricane or tornado: by just staying home in the day it snows and the first 2 days after. But even when it melts, black ice still poses a hazard for days on end, as I’ve seen many times. I think it’s the weather and the fraud that follows. I think eventually they’re going to have to figure out a different insurance strategy all together. Probably will be something sinister like adding a tax into groceries, gas and clothing, along with vehicle registration, and calling it “Florida insurance tax”. But I doubt the state can survive by dropping policies or raising prices to astronomical levels.

Miami used to have a rep for where many of the hurricanes would go near. That’s why rarely see trees in people’s yards, and many of the first level hotels and apartments have tile. Lately most have ended up on the gulf side instead. As for overhyped media coverage: what they’re showing is very accurate however, they are generally going to the areas worst hit. Which could be a relatively small area with tons of damage. However, in some ways they also don’t show the full picture and it could be lesser damage that’s more widespread than what’s shown. There’s lot of towns and cities in Florida far from the beach. But the news reporters are often filming right near the coast, where the winds are strongest. Of course people likely see it and think “oh no, everybody’s home in Florida is destroyed 😨 So it can be a bit misleading. I’m currently an evacuee myself; but I’m escaping from the storm of oppression lol. Being in a place where you’re trying to do business but there’s not enough people reliable to book, and nothing but flakes and game players…yet places require $1,000s upfront to move in: that can feel like a disaster. That’s why I left my area and went elsewhere.

Well I was going to mention the western droughts and intense heat, may be a caveat to moving out west. Also, some of those places I mentioned aren’t places I would necessarily move to lol. Notice I mentioned “retire”. For example Branson Missouri area. Don’t get me wrong, it is nice and almost has a key west vibe to it. Lots of boating/fishing, daytime attractions and entertainment similar to Orlando/Las Vegas has, but without the hurricanes or drought. However it’s not particularly gay populated, and it’s in the epitome of the Bible Belt. However, the issue with Florida is: it’s become a target, and there’s not enough being done to cover everybody. And insurance companies don’t play fair: Someone may just be in suburban Miami or Tampa, 20 miles from the beach: and still get a rate increase just because: there was 2 hurricanes IN THE AREA this year. I remember my first car insurance bill in Miami was like $350 down, for basic liability. In Texas, it was less than $100 down to start. So it’s not just the storms, it’s the politics around it. Houston and New Orleans are also places that are vulnerable. But they aren’t peninsulas and hurricanes don’t generally cross the state, so insurance companies there seem to be more forgiving.

$11,000 a month for insurance? Or is that his mortgage and taxes included. Might need to fact check that lol. Thing is: even if the hurricane doesn’t make a direct hit, the insurance companies view it the same. Florida address? Hurricane rates by default. And of course, areas around the storm can still cause damage. All it takes is one old oak tree, or a palm tree (usually Queen Palm, which aren’t hurricane hardy but native Florida/carribean palms are) to fall on a house. Or a road to puddle too deep and hydrolock an engine. Even when there isn’t a hurricane: Tampa and Miami can get so much rain from a regular storm in a short amount of time. Seeing Tropicana stadium ripped off is definitely a sign of a strong wave. But I agree, up north winters are no joke either. But that’s why I suggested some of those other areas as Florida alternatives. They still get winters, but are relatively mild in comparison to Chicago, Detroit and New York: where many transients in Florida come from.

Native Floridian here (who left in 2018/2019 and haven’t been back since except during November 2021 for a nude calendar event)… Here’s the thing: hurricanes have been a thing of Florida since who knows how long. It’s a college football team (Miami hurricanes), a delicious alcohol beverage (Hurricane), and just part of life in Florida. However, the big problem is the population and insurance rates, as has been mentioned. Not just home but vehicle also. Florida has long been a place for the rich and famous to party, but in reality: Florida is shaped like a dead fish 🐟 because it’s a weather prone place ecologically lol. Hurricanes have carved out the shape of the state. Why do people want to populate a place that is surrounded by deep ocean on both sides, and is a known hurricane commute zone? I was in high school in 2004 when there was 4 hurricanes that hit at once. That was when the insurance companies started pulling out: 4 hurricanes in 6 weeks? It happened to one state in 2004. WWW.NOAA.GOV Lessons learned then are valuable reminders today That said: sometimes it’s not always as bad as the media describes. THE NEWS DOES OVERHYPE THESE THINGS. If you live away from the coast, and don’t have big trees covering your yard: a hurricane is very survivable. My grandmother and relatives lived in Miami since the 1950s. Went thru Andrew, and a dozen other storms over the decades. Even when a whole hurricane crosses a state, most of the damage is within the few miles of the eye wall. Most homes can stand up to 100 mph winds: these come in 20-30 minute bands throughout the time the storm is passing. But wind whipping 100 mph is enough to cause damage in a few minutes. It’s just a come and go event. I also grew up in Tampa: every hurricane season a storm would threaten, the church pastors would pray them away 😆, and they always just skirted the area: but it was fun getting 3 days off school and seeing the force of the winds. Hurricanes can actually be fun to experience: but the ones that have been happening are WAY bigger than what it used to be. They used to be little things with 80 mph winds that breezed thru quickly and weakened before even hitting land. Now they’re huge and landing inland as cat 3 hurricanes. MY ADVICE: do not move to Florida unless you have a solid concrete home inland. I wouldn’t advise anyone to move there until they figure out how to fix their insurance problem. Every hurricane that hits, becomes a reason for insurance companies to leave or hike rates…my home state has become a place of no return. It’s too expensive to live, and it’s going to happen every year. Only the rich and famous can afford to comfortably live there. I’m currently in Arizona, yesterday was 107 degrees, and even though no area of the country is immune to natures wrath lately (heat, hail and snow storms have been crazy as well): I would suggest someone seeking a green or warm climate to retire, to consider places like Missouri/Branson, New Mexico, Arizona, Las Vegas, San Diego/Oceanside (though more expensive than Florida), Northwest Arkansas (headquarters of Walmart lol), and even the northern Texas area. And the good thing is: those areas also sell palm trees, Home Depot and Lowe’s. I buy some every year and they do great outside in the summer, just have to bring them in for the winter.

Funnily enough, I've actually re-considered DFW area as a potential relocation, and have put out some feelers in the meantime. I wasn't a huge fan of Texas when I lived there (I had just moved from Florida, and hadn't really been to as many places then as I have now). I like that DFW has an extended warm season, but I just wasn't a fan of the winters. However, I realize winter is the same in pretty much every state except Florida, New Mex, Arizona, and California/Vegas. But beyond the weather, living in Missouri versus living in Texas: I definitely see the difference in how living in a "smaller" market can be. Patrick Mahomes has gotten Whataburger to make its way to the Kansas City and even surrounding burbs. Saltgrass has a location. But that's the thing: It's a great town for foodie/restaurants. But when it comes to high end fashion and freelance: there just isn't the market like some of the bigger cities have. I know that sounds cliche. But think about the most recent "natural" disaster. Miss "TS" Helene. Lots of people are displaced thru no fault of their own. Some don't even have flood insurance. Do you think those people can rely on some gay guy off Grindr or RentMen for a place to stay for 6-12 months while they get their lives together? No: because that gay guy on Grindr either has 2-3 roommates or lives alone and doesn't want to share any of his space for longer than a few days. If at all. And I've at times, been where things were going great renting somewhere: But then a website goes out of business, or some temporary economic change slows business down: and the greedy landlord/property management owners doesn't want to wait more than a couple weeks for rent. So rather than go thru the proper court proceedings, or be patient and wait: they resort to daily harassment until they get their rent. And not to call bluff but, people booking don’t always do us justice either. I've had situations where clients have bailed just days before rent is due. Earlier this week, a client cancelled (albeit with a deposit and a day in advance notice so...it didn't mess me up necessarily) an overnight session we planned. I had anticipated to combine that towards a place I hoped I was going to get. He had to postpone understandably due to illness, and the place fell thru too so: didn't matter either way. But if it did: I may have been short of what I was going to use towards getting the place. At the same time: I been out of town now for 2 weeks: I been doing better financially than I would be if I was at home, even with hotel overheads that I been able to keep low thru being resourceful. But I can only do it when I'm getting booked throughout the week. I don't even need to see multiple clients a day, just a steady stream (no pun intended) throughout the week. But when I'm home, I'm going 1-2 weeks without bookings. And it makes it hard to get ahead.

Just because it “comes with the territory” doesn’t mean I can’t bring it up. It’s not incessant ranting, it’s having a discussion about something. If that’s problematic for you, then I’m sorry YOU allowed yourself to feel that way. You’re welcome to excuse yourself. I do feel the $100/$200 expectation is a widely held “belief” out there. However, I’ve seen the biz over the years, and I’ve seen how things have changed. $200 was okay when there were several platforms to advertise on, and getting 4-5 clients a week in THE SAME CITY was attainable. However, with everything that’s happened with inflation and website restrictions, along with hookup apps being a primary go to: things aren’t as busy for everybody. That said, the particular situation I was referring to: the guy was a flake anyway. I recently met a client who happily paid our agreement and all was well. That’s close to what I’m asking. However it is interesting that a $100 difference on a $500 session would persuade you. Not saying you’re in the wrong, but I have seen situations where I may have needed to ask for an extra $100: whether that be longer travel or booking a room for a particular session. Many have been okay to cover it. I try to be reasonable rate wise, because I don’t like to have to double back on prices. But I’ve also structured by sessions to give people options. That’s why anytime someone asks, “what’s your rate?” I’m never going to give them 1 price ever. At least not anymore. 1 price for everything makes no sense to me, no matter how easy it SEEMS. Sure I could just say $250. Or $300. But for what? How am I supposed to name a price when I don’t even know what I’m getting into? That’s why I like to offer options. I also will ask for minimums for certain sessions. Like if I have to travel an hour to a particular area near where I’m staying: it’s a 90 minute or 2 hour minimum. Because I’m already spending two hours to get there and back. If I have to get a hotel to host, it may be an extra $100 to offset that.

I’m just asking myself this question, after spending the past 5 months searching for a place: only to end up empty handed. My criteria wasn’t super strict, but I was working with a budget in a few particular area. Either they had strict income criteria or have dozens of applicants all trying to get the same place. Whoever has the best criteria, and the money upfront; gets it. I’m just like, fuck this shit. This is fucking bullshit. It’s been a waste of my money and time searching for places, not realizing that there’s little chance of actually getting it unless you have pay stubs and hundreds/thousands upfront to pay for deposits. Not to mention the application fees/background/credit checks. I’ve come to realize the housing/rental industry is set up for failure. The biggest thing as it relates to this industry; many cities seem to slow down or change from being profitable. Especially lately with rise in COL and more guys advertising on the sites. These property management companies want prospects to come up with a slew of things to get in the door, which I’ve done before: only to then be there a year or 2 and business slows down. Then I’m forced to struggle to pay the rent or move. And many local clients don’t become regulars often enough. The particular city I been looking in is Kansas City area, but I feel stupid fighting to reside in a STATE that I really don’t care to be in because, business has been terrible for a couple years, it’s oversaturated with foreign traveling guys, and the clients are overall unreliable. I’m from Florida originally: there, it wasn’t just Miami and Orlando to meet clients. There were SEVERAL cities on both coasts to connect with clients. In Missouri: the only towns to get clients are Kansas City and St. Louis: both of which have become over saturated with providers, so there’s hardly any business in either one. All the other towns are racist/homophobic and have nothing to offer. I’m now thinking to just start doing something like, live in a city for a week or a month, and then move on to the next. Or just go home after that time. Which I been doing for the most part, but it’s just been mostly couple/few days in hotels. However it’s hard to not have a “home” base at all because: living on the go and/or with family is hard. I have to keep medical appointments, maintenance, sometimes I come down with seasonal illness and have to take a few days off. And I find traveling especially prone to getting sick because of staying between hotels and eating differently than usual sometimes. Regardless, I’m just thinking it’s not worth renting anymore. I just am not really thrilled with hotel/air bnb living either. However, it’s easier to just throw down a credit card for incidentals/deposit: than to search and wait months for a place, only to end up not liking the city after all. I wish I had enough to just buy a house outright. But that is another issue in itself. I find many gay guys are so uptight and selfish about their personal space. Everybody wants to live alone, or they already have 2-3 roommates. If they live alone, it’s because they WANT to live alone. Or they’re so jaded by past experiences and can’t trust anybody else. I’m just over it. I can say, there are some select clients who have offered staying arrangements: and those are the type of people I prefer to deal with. However, it’s not my “goal” to live with a client. I just want to have a regular place to host, that’s not going to be a money pit every month. And that’s what I feel most apartments have become: money pits. They want us to pay more, despite business being less than it was 10 years ago 🤷🏾‍♂️

Well, I picked one up and it worked. You might have used Mastercard gift card. But I mean the ones where you just get it at like Walmart/Dollar Tree, sign up and then they send you a permanent one in the mail. That said, Rent-Masseur has been down all day for me. This sucks considering I’m out of town visiting somewhere and my ad isn’t even getting shown.

The Mastercard thing is due to some regulations that Visa put in place surrounding adult based websites. It could be due to something else like fees. I know that one of my credit cards switched from Visa to Mastercard. Also, it’s relatively easy to get a prepaid Mastercard at retailers. Capital one is also Mastercard based as well. That part isn’t too big of a hurdle to work around.

I emailed them, and they are saying the new version is the permanent version now. I hope this doesn’t affect business from the platform, but I’ve already been seeing it’s been getting me a little bit less lately than usual. I just feel both RM sites could have kept the original version. However, I do find the new RentMen a bit more fun to use. It also eliminates the search function where only half of someone’s head would show in the results. The map features are more direct (where you can see hotels…and I don’t put the exact hotel I’m mapped up, but a nearby one). I think overtime hopefully, we get used to the new design and see its perks. But idk if it’ll help or hurt schedule.

I think people say no drama in their profile because, a lot of potential clients do be kinda dramatic in their approach. I actually ran this ad in my ad for a few days, ZERO TOLERANCE FOR DRAMA OR FLAKES. But then I felt it might be too much. So I try to ease up a bit. The drama I refer to, are the high maintenance or wishy washy clients. Texting incessantly demanding instant attention, then going back and forth between cancelling and not. I even had a client text me something deep, when all I wanted was to figure out what day and time we’re meeting. I’m only showing it because he cancelled the day of the session. And then people wonder why I don’t want to work with anybody without a deposit or consultation fee upfront There’s more messages after that but, I haven’t even met this person and I’m getting a whole life story. Which, I can appreciate someone opening up and being transparent, but then adding 3rd parties, and being uncertain: it’s too much when we haven’t even met.

Okay, thanks? I guess… I wasn’t complaining or saying I perfectly willingly took the Usher looking guy. In fact, I wasn’t going to see him at all for $100. In that particular case, it was a very quiet Saturday, I was out of town and it was getting later in the day and I had already checked out of my hotel earlier that day. But I didn’t feel like commuting to the next city: so the donation was enough to cover the cost of my expenses. However, it wasn’t necessarily something I “profited” on. I also made sure the funds were settled upfront, before the session even stared. If and when I agree to a discount, I make sure to do so. As far as the guy who charged $110 for years; good for him. But there’s no guarantee a rate that amount will get the number of bookings needed. Also at the price, a person will have to be seeing a lot of clients in order to get to $500. Lots of clients doesn’t always equate to win: that’s more bodies, more exposure, more traffic to our home or hotel and/or more running around for outcalls. I know getting a lot of clients sounds like a reasonable goal, but for some: it’s having fewer clients for a higher rate. That may be the preferred model for a provider who can’t always be available last minute, or take multiple clients round the clock

That was a driving factor from the start I’ll also add: this isn’t just coming from RentMen but especially RentMasseur. I understand that technically people may be going to RentMasseur expecting “just a massage”. But I also wonder if it’s more to do with the venue. It seems the “general” (not all) RentMasseur clients expect a certain price point of the $150/$200 range or less. However, RentMasseur does not make any claims to be ONLY massages. Thats why there’s erotic, therapeutic and sensual options. Thats why there are private nude galleries. The lines are very blurred, and I wonder if that contributes to the misunderstandings of some. I was moreso using an exaggeration. When I said that, I meant: “I don’t want to spend my money eating out, everyday”. But I actually do eat out a fair amount, and if you see my body: I’m definitely not starving by any means 💪🏾 But I don’t always have the funds to allocate towards a sit down restaurant meal, especially since I’m trying to relocate, and a $75 meal: I rather spend $90 on a couple shirts: which I did couple weeks ago when I was in Minneapolis of America. Besides, where do you come off talking about needing a different career path? I didn’t say: “I don’t have any money to go out to eat”. I said afford, but I have known people who make 3x what I make, driving BMWs and living in luxury apartments who go to Taco Bell and barely have anything in the fridge. I’ve known people in the military: who do meal prep because they can’t afford to eat out but once a week. Does that warrant a career change? Sometimes it takes a bit of cognitive thinking to understand what someone is saying, versus just blurting out whatever you think is the reason for the statement made. And don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying there’s anything WRONG with $150/$200. I actually took a $100 booking earlier this month: the dude looked like Usher. He was sexy AF, but he was just an easy going client and only wanted a massage. I wasn’t mad at him for it. My thing is moreso on a general big scale. I rather someone say they have $100 and just need a massage, versus someone asking for my rates and then saying it’s too much. Well, you asked? If a client is willing to contact a provider to ask what a rate is: they should be willing to compromise and give. To shoot them down and say otherwise: ESPECIALLY when I have my own website that lists my rates, is where the annoyance comes in. And the other thing: if a client is going to say a rate is too much or they can’t afford: I feel if they really wanted to make it happen they can counteroffer. That way I can say yes or no or give a reason why I can’t do that price point: but can be willing to do a different price point similar. I know you got a lot of “reactions” to that, but I’ll explain to you and anyone else who cheered you on, why. Read very carefully: #1: I’m not unhappy with the Business. I’m unhappy if I’m NOT getting the business, in cases where I should or have before. #2: It’s nothing to do with being unhappy. It’s simply discussing a common scenario and asking how it could be changed #3: I’m happier dealing with SERIOUS clients who are willing to compromise, versus using hookup apps and being caught up in an endless string of meaningless hookups with guys who don’t care to contribute anything going on in my life. #4: Guys I’ve met through advertising on RM: are a different breed than many of the gay dudes I come across in bars, apps, or via friends. Like “someone” said during a press interview earlier this month: I love my clients and they love me 🤣 #5: I don’t always have to haggle on my rates because most of my bookings are $250+ anyway, however: again, just talking in general.

I ask because, there seems to be this unspoken dynamic out there that $150/$200 or even the dreaded: $100, is supposed to be “a good price” to pay and do whatever. Like, the client wins because that’s all he says he can afford, but the escort might not have enough to cover their expenses in the process. I’m just getting tired and fatigued of feeling like guys are calling a collections agency. “I can only afford $100/$200”. I am not a past due bill, for fucks sake. I’m a single man devoting my livelihood to giving people relaxation and companionship. It’s amusing, that a guy will take his dog to the vet, spend $700, $800, $1,000 and not think twice. Yet tell them its $400 for an hour of everything under the sun: suddenly I’m “too expensive or they can’t afford it”. The more I hear guys saying something is out of their budget, or they can’t afford it, blah blah etc etc: it just makes me wonder if I should put my rates up even higher: $500 minimum. Not out of greed, but because #1: there are guys out there who are willing to pay it, and #2: I don’t want to get into petty quarrels over $50 and $100. Or have to compromise between $300 and $200. Either way, $200 or $300 is still NOT ENOUGH for all I need to do. So why argue over it in the first place. I feel: if $300 is too much, let’s just do $500…that way if other clients feel the same and only 1 person shows up for the day, I’ll still be okay. But why take $200 and still only one person shows up? It just has to stop. I’ve even gotten to where, I decided I no longer want to do hookup apps at this time nor do freebie meets. I’ve been “burned” time and again, essentially giving “free services” to people who don’t appreciate my time or effort. Hooking up for free has made me miss clients, spend more money than I planned, or end up costing me more money indirectly: unnecessarily. So right now I’m breaking on that unless it’s just someone I meet in person or thru friends. But no more app stuff. My hookups and “boyfriends” are going to be clients, because more and more I’m seeing it’s clients who really seem to care about helping me achieve goals, whether that be monetary or something that requires monetary to get (for example, last year I wanted to go to a private event in Washington DC to see my favorite r@b singer.) Guys on apps would NEVER make that happen. Instead it took only 2 clients, to make it happen. So, when someone comes along and says a particular price is too high: I want to ask them, high for whom? Is it too high because you don’t think you have to or should, or is the price the escort is setting because he has hotels, fuel, beauty/gym, attire, hygiene, bills, car maintenance: all the things to pay that ensure being able to see clients can happen. So why, would someone even try to insinuate that someone is too expensive? It’s not a jar of spaghetti. This is a whole person, that you’re getting intimate with, and that person is either inviting you to their space, or they’re taking time out of their schedule going to your space: There should be 0 question or doubt about the price a reputable escort asks. I remember there was a thing going on called “tip the bill”, where people were tipping the waitress whatever the cost of the bill was, versus the standard percentage. Now me personally: I can’t keep up with that because I already deal with my income being compromised every single week by no shows, flakes, and ghosts and of course spam and scams. I can barely afford a sit down meal much at all lately, let alone tip a bill. But if people can raise that awareness, when do we ever get “tipped our rate?”

What you describe is essentially what happened with me ever since I moved out my apartment in Nashville back in 2018. I was getting bored hanging in the apartment waiting for clients all the time, but I was centrally located near the airport. However, I had a ”sponsor buddy” who was fronting the cost of rent for awhile…and he only needed to come for a week/weekend every few weeks or so but when his job duties changed states: I wasn’t making enough to afford the $900 that it was going to go up to per month. So I packed up and moved in with relatives in Orlando to save money, and only did Outcalls or hotel incalls couple times a week and traveled on tour. That worked for awhile, until things changed by moving to Kansas City area. I was far away from the main area of the city, which didn’t pose as much of a problem EXCEPT the fact many clients in the Midwest don’t like to host. It’s opposite as the coastal big cities because they tend to prefer to host (I went to San Diego last year and only had to host 1 client, a young college guy. Everybody else was outcalls). However, I still worked around it best I could until Covid/inflation hit: now all the hotels want extra or higher deposit, the prices are higher (some people only want to pay $100 for a massage, but the room rate is $100/$150/$200+tax. Where is the profit? And who is going to guarantee I’m going to squeeze in 5 $100 clients in a day? Clients also trying to book at THE LAST MINUTE proved to be problematic when I had an hour commute to the city. Fast forward to 2024, I highly regret giving up the Nashville apartment: not that I would have stayed there but, just for the principle of how hard it is when you don’t have a full time in-call location. And it’s a domino effect that can destroy someone’s business. Being far from city + can’t host + other clients can’t host = hard to make enough money to change the situation unless the masseur/sex worker is willing to go back to 9 to 5 work, which I personally feel: is NOT possible in this business to do both. For example, I had a client today wanting to only meet at 1 or 2 PM. WHY DO SO MANY CLIENTS ONLY WANT TO MEET AT 1, 2, 3 PM? Thats the WORSE time of day to try and plan a visit for an escort to host or even travel. There’s the hotel limitations, and then there’s other things like dental/doctor appointments to attend which conveniently: clients seem to KNOW when we’re going to the doctor or dentist, and specifically book that day to meet 🤣 So I’m glad you took the time to share this, because it’s a reality. The good news is, I’m working now to change that. But in the meantime, I decided to leave Kansas City area for a little bit and stay with a different sponsor who has a home in the center of a medium sized city: which means I won’t be able to host, but I’ll be 20 minutes from every neighborhood in town, and have a handful of hotels within 5-10 minutes drive. So it’ll at least relieve the burden for a few days that I’ve been enduring.

Wanted to check in to see if anyone has had any new experiences with tryst? I went thru the process to fill out an ad and sent my ID verification and it was rejected I noticed last month. And it took awhile already to get approved. Idk if I really vibe with their model. If someone is looking to sign up to a site and meet clients, they’re not trying to wait two weeks or months to get approved. The ad itself was also lengthy to set up. I did all that effort and the ad still isn’t up. I think mega personals fairs a bit easier. I think tryst may appeal more to the high end lady base. The rates I’ve seen on there certainly coincide. Even the male escort rates I’ve seen tended to be higher than what I already know most clients are willing to pay.

In the past 3 months I’ve been shopping around for a place to relocate to. And by shopping, I mean hardcore scouring Zillow, Trulia, apartments.com, Facebook market. I’m not necessarily looking for apartment complexes with a leasing office and agent on site, but something more private and stand alone. Which most are run by realtors and property management. Its showed me a lot that: many places are getting contacted by multiple “clients” looking for a place, and I’m finding more often that a lot of “showings” are automated from start to finish without even talking to anyone. When I have tried to contact and reach people directly, I don’t hear nothing back or it takes DAYS to get a response, only to get an automated message that the place is off the market. And there’s also a similarity in realty and escorting…as far as working leads and having to weed thru a lot of riff. However, it is annoying not being able to reach anyone when it’s about finding a residence within a short period of time: versus just a passing sex desire. It’s almost like many real estate companies don’t take anyone serious until they pass background, show income proof, and actually do all the hoops that: many of OUR clients can’t dream of doing. I think I had someone cancel on me yesterday over a $50 deposit. But we had been in contact all weekend and even on a prior visit. Yet where he lives is 45 miles outside of the city, in a rural suburban town. If someone can’t do a simple request, they’re probably going to piece of work to work with. My solution for escorts and clients: Limit the access. I’m no longer posting my phone number for “non logged” clients because it’s too much spam and too much guys expecting a meet right away. I had someone call me today from a hotel, no idea my rates, didn’t read my website, no clue on anything. Add another reason why I don’t normal answer phone calls…those are THE WORST. I used to only want phone calls, now I never want phone calls.