DWnyc

I’ve prepaid providers for others a few times (eg for a now-deceased sick friend), - always with regular providers where I was able to discuss the situation and their comfort.

I gave them donations beforehand and set parameters for my friends which I asked them to enforce if there was a misunderstanding.

These mostly went well - one provider explained the friend didn't seem to understand it was an engagement and had to be almost thrown out - I guess that can happen if you’re not the one handing over the donation. Another provider told me I was overthinking it, let events take their course when the two meet. One friend got nervous and left well before the session ended; I reassured the provider he could keep the donation. 

Unless the provider is screening for any specific things where the 3rd person would not qualify there shouldn’t be an issue if donations are taken care of. 

Enabled me To do something nice for providers as lt would Be more than what they’d get from me otherwise. 

5 hours ago, Balthazar said:

Ultimately, I wouldn't want to hire someone who found me so unappealing that they couldn't reasonably perform.

You have the right attitude as in it would be a waste of money thrown at someone who doesn’t deserve it,  though it sucks that such providers compete alongside the more professional ones

For the providers who do actually request a pic for legitimate (to them) reasons I really don’t understand why they don’t get the sensitivity. 

And this also affects people on the older side, of different body types, physical abilities etc - totally sucks 

Can’t believe people are throwing around accusations of paranoia when we are talking of a hobby that is in the US illegal and in most geographies riddled with stigma.

Most points I have on this have been made. I’ll just add that with AI and image recognition software easily available, a picture can enable anyone to gather all sorts of information on the subject in a matter of minutes or less. It’s highly likely the provider will have that by the end of the session anyway through understandable security measures. But regardless, if some are fine providing pictures let them, and let the providers insist on it let the self selection allow for us all - clients and providers - to stick within our comfort zones. 

33 minutes ago, purplekow said:

It can be done, priorities are your own.  

I fully agree.

I think the biggest obstacle to anything other than a provider-client relationship would be having to start from almost zero on “ normal” tjings despite feeling very close in others. And much of that supposed closeness is likely one sided and based on an act.

And I suspect there would be a world of difference between many providers and clients in their social / economic status that would for starters complicate much interaction that went beyond 1-on-1.

On 11/2/2023 at 6:42 PM, LD19847 said:

What is it with fires in Montreal?  

There was a fire at Club Unity many years ago, that led to the temporary closure and refurbishment of Stock.  

Stereo nightclub had a fire due to an arson attack and was then subject to another arson attack before it was due to reopen.

I've seen reports of arson attacks elsewhere in Montreal that are alleged to be linked to organised crime.

 

Montreal and Quebec in general have some of the most pro tenant laws in North America, so it’s difficult for landlords to clear out tenants even if they are delinquent in rent. Some of the clubs (straight and cabaret as well) in Montreal occupy prime downtown real estate but tenants are paying rents locked in 20-30 years ago. So there are allegations …  

Anyone playing should know their status and given what’s available to us now, after stopping to say a word of thanks to all who made this possible for us, if they want to play raw, should either be on PREP or ART to stay undetectable. That way someone else’s status matters less.

Given how many DL men visit providers and that PREP use let alone status awareness through regular testing is so low in this segment, I can see why a provider disclosing status and medication accurately is important for some clients. It is still ridiculous - they shouldn’t be risking their health (and that of others in their life) because of their fear of discovery and they should not be relying on a providers self declaration for peace of mind. 

I know of several providers who are not truthful on prep use as well as on their actual status. They have always somehow volunteered the information including with a different profile on hookup sites. I understand (and some have shared) some of their reasoning but I think it’s better to leave out a known misrepresentation rather than to lie on something that is still a relevant issue for many (even though it shouldn’t be given what is available).

And to be clear this isn’t just about providers it’s about anyone including on hookup sites. 

9 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

This is exactly why I rather just have a site with all this info listed. The issue comes when people don’t click my “about me” section especially on RentMass. 
 

I know pricing is a topic, but why have the extra rejection factor of having to ask and find out what the price is, instead of just being able to freely list it along with any extras or add ons 

Because many providers do actually like to negotiate or vary their pricing (despite how many posture on here) depending on their dealflow, and because many won’t want to leave a public written trail particularly in problematic jurisdictions. 

A regular provider I saw shortly before Christmas dropped hints about joining my plans when it came up  - eg important time for him but he’d be alone far away from anyone, I was one of few clients he considered a friend (this startled me a little). I thought about it all through our session (and it was distracting!) and I realized a “friend” would be welcome at my Christmas dinner table, and I would want them to be themselves when off the clock (and not give them a list of things not to say or lie about). I wasn’t sure I could deal with that in the presence of my friends and family members. That year I had a colleague from work join with a similar situation of being far from family and they weren’t actually a close friend but it felt natural in a way the provider attending didn’t. But each to their own - others may have dealt with this differently. 

And of course if he wants to take a break from doing this temporarily or permanently he may not want to keep the appointment anyway 

If he knew his profile was expiring )it may have been planned) will likely have kept your details 

Make your own rules - what applies for others doesn’t necessarily do so for you.

And no reason why a happy and consensual equilibrium can’t evolve whatever one falls it.

Just try to be aware if someone is taking advantage / manipulating you, remembering the whole provider client relationship does likely involve -  at the heart of the core activity - some fabrication / exaggeration of feelings. 

When I see clients post on here about unrequited feelings or near obsession with a provider I do worry about if they are easy prey.

I’ll add:

- lack of respect for the provider, perhaps because of the stigma and making an assumption that the provider is desperate for money, from a lower social / economic class etc. If plans change or the potential client was never serious, why bother letting someone know if you don’t respect them (providers sometimes do this to clients as well and likely with reciprocal lack of respect - I don’t have a sense of which “side” does it more)

- paranoia about being arrested, discovered etc 

- perhaps the client for a bad feeling about the provider while setting up the appointment in the back and forth - tone, rudeness etc … doesn’t justify canceling without notice but it could influence whether seeing it through 

I disageee with the framing of the last point in your post. Being Unable to afford a provider doesn’t make someone a loser - they just shouldn’t play in this game. Standing up a professional is what makes them a loser. 

I think the maximum notice I’ve given anyone is a day, and even then I’ve reconfirmed on the actual day as I’ve been burnt on providers forgetting (sometimes I believe them sometimes I don’t) or being late.

For me it’s often a last minute decision and that’s worked fine - when I reach out to folks whether known or unknown and ask if they’re available later that day they may say yes, no, or not reply and not replying may have them refusing to engage in that timeframe. But enough will in my geography and it’s never been a problem.

I wouldn’t want to book more out than that as knowing myself I may change my mind, work or other social things could come up etc and I’d hate to mess with a providers schedule and I’d be loathe to pay for a cancelation. 

More often than not I’ve been told by providers - contact me only if you’re serious about meeting … now … and I’ve incorporated that into my comms / planning. 

4 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

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Posted just now

No doubt they would.   I wonder if kissing or a blow job could be incorporated as a means of compensation.  haha

Seems like at least one side will feel they got screwed … 

6 minutes ago, ICTJOCK said:

I tend to like my example of a plaintiff at trail without a cause of action or evidence and the judge just throws it out of court....lol

But the lawyers would still expect to get paid 

I personally don’t understand folks prepared to have unprotected penetrative sex (regardless of prep - which doesn’t protect you from basic mess let alone other stuff) but can’t kiss.  

As with online hookups, I assume it’s because they're not attracted to the other person, and would in other circumstances regardless of “I don’t kiss” posturing. 

A “straight” provider who says explicitly he doesn’t kiss on his profile told me  - he can actually kiss guys, as to him if he closes his eyes it could be anyone - just like a hole could be male or female to him so he can perform either way  - (kind of ridiculous unless his female partners have a lot of facial hair) - but he says the no kissing expectation saves him from a lot of emotional stress.  He’ll only kiss if he finds the client attractive. I did ask him if everything was so interchangeable and if there was a spectrum where some guys were attractive, why was he so adamantly “straight” … 

On 10/29/2023 at 8:47 AM, Massageguy99 said:

Funny I had a provider I saw a few times before crossing off my list. He had a vibe of just forcing himself to fain interest. 

Look I don't expect to be everyone's cup of tea nor is everyone's mine, but either quit taking my money or learn to fake it ha. 

 

 

For some providers - some, not all - for a bunch of reasons that have come up on here in the past - making some clients feel bad is part of how they get through the experience. Like traffic police and customs.

And of course some clients do the same to providers, reminding them of the direction the money flows.

So there’s not a need for them to learn the skill of hiding these feelings, and they won’t say no if you’re still prepared to pay for the experience  - it’s part of the game of life.  Move on if it bothers you.  And be thankful for the providers who, however unprofessional, don’t want anything to do with you.

On 10/29/2023 at 6:25 AM, Anthony said:

I am insane for him! The provider is meeting with other folks though. How would I know if there's a technical issue going on where he can't receive my emails and text messages? I wasn't going to ask him in the letter to hire him but just introduce myself and leave my contact info for further follow up 

This all ceases to be cute after the age of 13 when it becomes predatory and delusional (no offense meant).

Might you have exhibited some behavior that scared off the provider in your outreach? 
 

19 hours ago, ICTJOCK said:

I never charge when meeting with a client about proposed services.

You are generous with your time, then. I can’t see that being offered out here. 

13 hours ago, Your Man in Arlington said:

This could be useful information for a client or provider if the other person is honest. I'm on Prep and as AFAIK the protocol requires you to be tested for all STDs every 60 - 90 days (shots v pills). Maybe some healthcare providers don't thoroughly test before each prescription renewal?

That and some not on insurance get their treatment from generics overseas or online etc with less strict testing or prescription requirements

I fall on the cynical side because many conversations I’ve tried to have on this with providers have been met with eye rolls. Not all providers -but enough. 

I’ve also found at least 6 providers in my geography (3 I’ve met, 3 i haven’t) have not been truthful (either on the site or in conversations) about some health status info. Some others in New York on this forum will have had this experience (as we have discussed it) and I assume this happens elsewhere as well. 

So I take the perspective that I’ll be responsible for myself, offer discussion on my health (honestly it’s rarely been taken up) and would contact a provider just like any other partner if I needed to in event of any news. 

@ICTJOCK curious, did you charge for the additional meeting time for the pre session discussion? I’ve had at least 2 providers suggest a quick phone call to discuss anything beforehand (which could and did include health / safety issues but weren’t framed exclusively as such) but my hunch is even if I had the time for a pre meeting they would typically not want this unless it was added to the total session times.

On 10/26/2023 at 7:55 PM, BriansBodywork said:

Could also be fake profiles posing as him and asking for “pre booking fees” upfront via PayPal. Lots of those types on scans going on in the apps such as Scruff and Grindr. Never pay a pre booking fee upfront……ever!!! 

Yup - recognized someone from London on the New York sniffies page - sensed something was up when his tone was so off from the guy I had met - so checked with him and he filed a complaint (from Paris!) 

but in the time that it took for this, the fake profile asked me for 50% down on fees on cash app (even though I hadn’t said i wanted to meet) 

I see him on dating / hook up apps all the time - not sure if as a means to get clients or if really for personal meets 

22 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I'm also wondering if certain times are better for hiring. You know the old joke - wait until the night before the provider's rent is due.

I’ve lost track of how many providers have contacted me after I either didn’t engage them (for the first time) or if they’re regulars they haven’t heard from me in a while … with an offer of a huge discount (50% off type). And often it’s tied to -  I’m leaving town or about to go on vacation or it’s the end of the month etc 

some get very defensive on platforms like this - these must obviously be 2nd tier providers etc - but no I don’t think that’s the case. Some just realize that often something is better than nothing. 

On 10/21/2023 at 12:11 PM, MuscleDaddyRWC said:

Seems to me the new convention  (in general, not specifically massage/escorting) is to text first asking about availability to jump on a phone call. 

This is definitely a new thing for those of us who were adults before say 2010 but the rules have evolved. 

I still remember the rotary phone and my mother eavesdropping on my calls from not too far away.