DWnyc

15 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

That’s part of what you’re paying us for. 

This is a much more powerful justification for the building blocks of payment than typically presented. And I doubt every provider thinks this way - but 100% respect for those that do. 

21 minutes ago, Peter Eater said:

Darius has been around for years. I imagine RM allows it because he pays his bills.

How would RM know unless someone complains, and how many clients actually do so? 

forget degree of misrepresentation, I have to say the vast majority of providers I’ve met have some detail or photo that didn’t match reality or at least aroused suspicion on meeting.

it’s so part of the culture now im sure the average provider can feel if they don’t embellish (at least) they’ll lose out to people who do …  

7 hours ago, BuffaloKyle said:

My advice even on guys with non AI generated pics is to ask for a facetime chat first. I do it with the majority of my hires so I can get a good look and feel for them so there is no surprises. I let them know right away when I ask I'm not looking to see them nude or to have it be an overly long call just a few minutes at most. I've never had a single provider shoot down my request when I explain it's just to confirm they are for real.

I think the average escort would also prefer to have a sense of who they’ll meet (for different reasons) so the request is likely something they’d gladly do (think of all discussion on here about do they have the right to reject potential clients) … as long as they don’t fear this could be a sting 

On 5/4/2024 at 6:07 PM, DrownedBoy said:

reasonable evidence that you're using the money illegally, which technically hiring is.

Yup exactly  That’s the protection many scammers rely on so they’ll lure the victim into drug / sex related intended activity to preempt a complaint.  

On 5/8/2024 at 3:33 AM, FrankR said:

That is right up there with blaming mercury being in retrograde.  
 

In my early hiring (pre prep and ART) I once spent half a session debating this issue (condoms can make you unable to perform) with a provider. He told me that discussion was worse than a condom to kill his hard-on.

I’ve never understood it but it’s a commonly held view and teenage girls frequently hear it too. 

And once culture started changing post prep / ART it became part of the fun to see what excuse a provider (chosen as he agreed to protection)  would try to get out of it (lost them, they’ve expired, used hem for cock rings …) 

I played around with AI augmentation on my pics when we were redoing our web page. I would totally pay for one hour with AI-me.

Get used to it. I think it’s like make up for women now - almost required in the biz. The issue is where it gets to a material difference rather than just making someone look “their best” (and you see them on what is claimed as an off day). 

The guy the OP mentions doesn’t hide his Twitter where he looks a little … different. So it’s not like he’s hiding that and perhaps doesn’t see anything wrong in this. 
 

On 5/5/2024 at 9:41 AM, SouthOfTheBorder said:

If someone receives full benefit of payment, then no tip required for services provided.

100% agreee - assuming they’re pricing what they feel they are worth at the level expected 

ill be more inclined to tip if I feel something happened above and beyond what was discussed - not sure why it should be expexted at less than reasonably expected performance when my post tax dollars go to someone off the books with no revenue share for anyone else 

And any provider holding his hand out for more without me volunteering a tip, or telling me (sometimes even before the session has begun) that I need to tip (sometimes even with a threat of what they might do if I don’t) - forget it.
 

On 5/5/2024 at 7:28 AM, FrankR said:

I dont understand - how does a condom require more effort? 
I thought bare required more effort (aka clean up after). 🤔

They’re referring to -/ it’s harder to stay hard (they claim) when wearing a condom 

On 5/2/2024 at 9:55 PM, DWnyc said:

I think many don’t even make it to sex. Just don’t get it. I’ve made the mistake of joking about it with one or two providers and unleashed lengthy descriptions engagement with their clients into this stuff - bizarre. 

Not sure what the rules are about posting links to other sites - but there are a lot of places where you can see grindr like listings focused on this scene. I’ve looked through trying to understand but I Honestly don’t get it - it’s no judgement, I really just don’t get it.

On 4/30/2024 at 6:21 PM, DrownedBoy said:

Lawyers on the other hand....

No ambiguity from their marketing materials who is doing the screwing 

6 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Definitely a niche market for sex with this thing, whatever it is....

I think many don’t even make it to sex. Just don’t get it. I’ve made the mistake of joking about it with one or two providers and unleashed lengthy descriptions engagement with their clients into this stuff - bizarre. 

I always assumed providers want to get people off RM as soon as they can to avoid explicit discussions on money and anything else they don’t want “out there” and to start whatever background checking they wish to do with additional info available.

I find it amusing when the same providers who are adamant even in their descriptions before the first outreach that you should only ever text - try to send you back to RM to send a message or two to allow for reviews. 

Not to bring up a topic that never seems to go well on here, but just because a provider doesn’t list PNP on their profile doesn’t mean they’re not doing it in their private life. I’ve twice experienced providers having reactions which I’m pretty sure we’re based on one of the liquid varieties enjoyed before I arrived and I had to deal with them being the only person around.

Many states have some kind of  Good Samaritan laws; in theory you won’t get in legal trouble or face questions as to how you got in the situation you find yourself if you call an ambulance for someone in distress (suspected overdose, heart attack, stroke etc)

9 hours ago, moonlight said:

Especially in blue state large cities (SF, LA, Vegas, NYC, Chicago)?

Why the question re blue state cities (as opposed to red state ones)? Not trying to get political but are you more worried about one category than the other?

Re time allocated - check beforehand if a provider is including shower time, get to know you  chat time in the session calculation etc. Misunderstandings can occur. You can’t force someone to spend time with you in this business if they don’t want to, and it would hardly be pleasant if they felt forced, but the providers who have tried that stuff with me will never get rebooked so the long term loss is greater for them. 

10 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

Even better: book him regularly so you don’t even have to say what you need the next time. He knows what you like, what’s important to you, and if he’s any good, he will note it and deliver it again and again.

For some the thrill of being with new providers and experiencing variety (if available in their market) is part of why they engage in the hobby vs seek out fwbs or partners if they have them. 

I don’t need or want providers to climax - they can save it for another client or someone they actually want to be with. I often tell them this and it often provides some relief (of a different kind). I also want to avoid a situation where they’re done and they hate every remaining minute where they can’t trick themselves into feeling it’s enjoyable for them.

On a couple of occasions though they’ve actually wanted to climax during a session themselves - which surprised me. nothing  to do with me - more I guess moving from one situation to the next, not building up tension, if not seeing others that day trying to switch attention to other areas of their life perhaps … once I was surprised as given only a few seconds warning and asked where I wanted it, and on another was requested to stay a few mins to help the situation in what I thought was an attempt at upsell but apparently wasnt.

On 4/25/2024 at 4:00 PM, BenjaminNicholas said:

It's not just about the time or money spent, for me it's do we know each other?

I hope this is the case …

My criteria is when I text and say “Hey how are you …” they don’t reply “Sorry, who is this?”

1 hour ago, rvwnsd said:

I don't see how an escort could charge $300/hour and survive on escorting alone in NYC.

Particularly if the have a long list of “here’s what I won’t do”

but that amount pre tax is around $500 an hour … 4 hours a week = $2000 … so start doing the math and it doesn’t take long to be better off Than most New Yorkers 

1 hour ago, jmichaeliii said:

I have found the rate question has ended communication a few times, which makes no sense.  It's a waste of both sides time if the budget doesn't work.

As discussed elsewhere there the culture of “I know my own worth”, “I don’t want to deal with cheap clients” etc can disrupt what should be easy market dynamics (ie it works or it doesn’t work so move on).

And all this gets internalized by some to equate their rate to self esteem etc 

What should be the freest market becomes tangled with all sorts of 21st century / millennial entitlement

5 hours ago, NYXboy said:

my take is if everyone did this then providers would be making bookings out of only 1 in 6 enquires -   which is only a 16% strike rate - making them less likely to be motivated to reply to a new messages.

Which is a good reactive hit rate … no provider should complain at that

On 4/23/2024 at 6:33 PM, DrownedBoy said:

I have to add - if you're in a decent market, you shouldn't even have to think about negotiating.

According to RM, there are 210 guys within a 50 mile radius who kiss, 63 of whom are currently available.

It's not worth the time in that case.

Exactly

my reaction when someone I’ve politely told it’s not going to work comes back with a revised proposal isn’t “you’re not professional, you don’t know your real value, you’re undermining the market” - it’s “you’re being realistic and trying to close a deal, good for you for trying“ (and also “let’s drop the martyrdom act”)

11 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

If you're only measuring by escort donations, I guess Chicago is a "second-tier" city. Which is fine because we're always been the "Second City"....

Among those that consider it a city … 😉

16 hours ago, socurious said:

Half of the escorts in the business do not kiss. I don't know what's surprising about it. Escorts are entitled to have their limitations

What’s surprising may be that-  if your numbers are correct - they don’t actually disclose that fully. And then they still expect to be paid on the basis of vague descriptions of service or claiming the payment is for time rather than anything specific.

No problem if everything is really fully disclosed. But it often isn’t. Many providers don’t hide that they are intentionally vague and openly mock those they can lure in.:

On 4/23/2024 at 12:55 PM, Medin said:

Agreed....and I do consider that a luxury.   Not too many other services we purchase that cost $300+/hour.  

The economics is fascinating for those that can make it work (that doesn’t mean lucrative - it’s just one of the few examples of very free market economics in labor and price clearance)

Most female providers see very little of the sums charged

Most regular service providing models (eg law, audit) see fees go to owners of the business who (unless sole or limited proprietors) aren’t actually on the frontlines dealing with clients who expect service based on the value of the fees to them 

When people say “I know my value”, with no disrespect to anyone intended,  I roll my eyes a little - unless I’m sure they know what all the aspects of that word they have fully thought through. And I bite my tongue when I want to reply with something like: I know the value of what I’m prepared to hand over to anyone for anything as well, as I know what it took for me to earn it