DWnyc

1 hour ago, DrownedBoy said:

 

Cops often use the Grindr app to entrap gay men for "prostitution."

In more than one of these cases I’m pretty sure specific individuals were targeted using the location feature - so someone already on some kind of list was lured into a trap where they generate evidence to use against them, rather than it being a general trap for anyone unlucky to engage with the cop.

I don’t have a specific time to wait. I’ll reach out to multiple people as it’s rare I'm looking for a specific person, more looking to fill a specific schedule, and I like to have options. 

Took me a while to realize in the early days that providers don’t have dedicated 24/7 call centers servicing them so I don’t mind the varied response times - as long as we don’t get into the dynamic of them expecting me to be immediately responsive when they choose to engage, and that it should turn into a booking no matter what. 

If any only reply after I’ve made other plans, I’ll either politely decline or say now won’t work maybe later (and if they show fury at that, they go on the crossed out list). And if they’re reasonable I may even engage a little with full disclosure I’m getting info for the next time and it saves back and forth if there is a next time.

Providers aren’t always the most rational or strategic. Though I can see someone interpreting a “no” as “I didn't actually enjoy our session” and so determining you’re no longer a realistic prospect worth cultivating.

Not unlike the online hookup world where the etiquette seems to encourage ending on a positive note but it being acceptable to ghost / block the minute you walk out the door. 

Later in the month isn’t odd. I’ve even had providers reach out for later the same day if I’ve indicated I’ve enjoyed the experience - I don’t think they’re assuming you’re made of money as much as trying to monetize an apparently positive experience. 

On 3/26/2024 at 6:20 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

“I feel like you expect me to feel asking $250/$300 is too expensive”. What if that is the only booking I have that weekend, or in some cases the whole week? Figure out how to make that last. It really doesn’t.

No individual can determine whether something is “too” expensive - the market does a fine job of that. If supply (of what you’re offering and at what price) has insufficient demand - it’s too expensive. if on the other hand you are turning people away you’re likely underpriced and the market will welcome you raising prices and making a fine profit. 

4 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I don’t think any of us started with: “I only want to make just enough to pay bills/groceries, and barely get by”. 

Whether or not you make ends meet (and then some) has nothing to do with what a client will be willing to pay. If you have financial goals unmet with what you’re doing, you need to reevaluate those choices as many of us likely have had to do.

28 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

As I've mentioned, I almost always hire for 2 hours -  2 orgasms separated by relaxation and conversation.

 

Personally, I enjoy just letting the providers talk. A lot of them like to tell stories (with no names, of course), and quite a few got me to ROFL. Laughter is truly the ultimate aphrodisiac.

I like the talk too. One of my selection criteria is if a provider seems they can engage. Which is why the act that many put on at the negotiation stage of one word grunts or “I’m too busy to even talk to you” is a turn off beyond the immediate physical aspect.

9 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

One can enjoy his job and be good at it, but at the same time be appropriately compensated for it to make sense for all parties. I see it the same for any other type of job

Bingo 

Which of us has not complained about our jobs to someone at some point, including about compensation, even though most of us wouldn’t trade the security of a paycheck without a backstop or real probability of a better alternative. 

2 hours ago, marylander1940 said:

Anyone who has the money... that's what providers who bottom prefer.

I think that holds for providers who top as well 

The most frequent reason I’ve been offered discounts is because the figurative rent check is due, and a discount is better than a zero revenue alternative, or it’s a means to getting more overall (tips, extended or repeat bookings, referrals).

Most providers are business people first and foremost, and they’re not going to take a loss or a lower margin just because they’re going to enjoy part of their job more than they otherwise might. 

I think there’s a little game some don’t understand especially if they consider themselves above average. The seasoned provider will see through that, and just as he might tell someone he appreciates their humor / intelligence / kindness / power in real life etc (when he actually sees the self perception)  he can play on that and validate with a gesture that brings in more in the long run. That’s smart business. 

Same writing style, same compliment said a different way (he’s so funny, he knows how to tell a joke, he makes me laugh … etc) and you know something funny is going on.

And I assume when providers reappear with a new name/account it’s because of a negative review that was actually genuine and cut too close. 

Well I have been told that the size of the tip (of donation) is what brings most joy 

35 minutes ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

This is the demographic that's most at risk, both to themselves and to others.

Exactly - they’re often the ones posting on this issue repeatedly. 

I would expect either me or the person I’m meeting, whether a provider or a dentist or a long lost relative visiting town to confirm at least the day before and definitely the day of. Not hard to do in this era of instant comms. “I’m about to leave, ETA xyz, are we still good?” has saved me from much hanging around for someone else running late or not wasting time on someone who can’t or won’t make it anymore. 

A provider who will ditch you because of a more lucrative opportunity or because they can’t keep to schedule for whatever reason can do so regardless even at the last minute. Don’t be the cause of any uncertainty at their end.  

7 hours ago, rvwnsd said:

It is easy to mock up an official looking document, whether it be negative test results, a prescription for one of the meds used as PrEP, or a vaccination record. People were doing so long before there was AI. 

As others have said, one can be unaware they are HIV+ if they seroconverted between tests. 

I assume nothing about my partners, whether they be escorts or hook-ups. I use PrEP, get tested frequently for STIs, know my risk tolerance, and take precautions accordingly. No need to let fear enter in the equation. 

The only point on AI here is that there are people who will be fooled now more than they would have been (checkout new apps available to everyone that allow you to create a mock app on your phone in seconds), just as they may have been when photoshop first became available - and the larger point about personal responsibility for one’s self still overrides. 

Everything else (eg the point about seroconversion between tests) opens up debate on those issues. That could be fine and informative for many whether new on here or not. If we can tolerate noise on all resulting discussion. 

On 3/15/2024 at 3:50 PM, Boaxxx said:

The topic is "Thoughts on Deposits" which can be translated to "Opinions on Deposits". Can we just let folks state their preference and move on? Why does everything need to turn into a toxic back and forth. I've never been asked for a deposit nor do I think I would pay a deposit unless I was really certain that the meeting was going to take place. Just my answer/opinion to the question and I'm not going to argue with anyone if you feel that I am wrong.

Now have a blessed day 💗

It’s just good practice for Thanksgiving 

9 hours ago, BenjaminNicholas said:

But the whole point of this thread is to take personal responsibility for your health, which negates whatever your sex partner does or doesn't do.

Sure, anything can be faked.  Anything at all.  We know this.

It doesn't change the fact that I still take the time to use every single tool in a medical arsenal to protect myself.

Yes and I’m not disagreeing (and include clients as potential fakers so no issue there) and actually doubling down on the point  - Ie take responsibility for yourself and don’t rely on info from others that can be wrong for whatever reason. 

Because there are many people out there who will actually be satisfied with a quick glance at a piece of paper or an image on a phone (in hookups as well as what we are describing here).  Especially among some of our demographic in this forum who think they can free-ride off public health efforts while weighing their fear of “discovery” (eg doctor/insurance records) / effort on their own part (if everyone else taking PREP why do I need to …)

And partly I’m trying to say something new since this topic of personal responsibility comes up repeatedly. 

4 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Then what the fuck does it constitute, a lie?

No - it just doesn’t constitute an appointment 

Just thinking about those folks (whether providers or clients / regular hookup partners) who knowingly (not accidentally or in ignorant bliss) misstate status …

Given the technology out there including now with AI, do you really think it’s inconceivable someone could fake an HIV test result if that’s all it took to make the questions stop?

I believe fake COVID tests and injection records overtook fake driving license and green card sales on the streets of New York at one point a couple of years ago …  

 

Tell typical NYC provider they’re no good as a provider and they’ll roll their eyes and likely comment on your performance as they show you out the door.

Comment on their ability as an actor and be ready for a total meltdown. 

On 3/19/2024 at 1:32 AM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

“we never made an appointment, I don’t owe you anything blah blah blah”. But you texted me and told me you were coming to town, and that you were going to be happy to meet up/meet up again, and would text me this week?

Even if I did all the above (told you I was coming to town, that I was happy to meet up, would text this week) that doesn’t constitute an appointment.

On 3/13/2024 at 6:38 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Something that they probably wouldn’t dream of doing themselves

They’re not the provider, you are … 

Some may be pragmatic (as they see it) and assume it maximizes clientele and doesn’t put off those who could be offended by an “in your face” or sermonizing on status or prep use (same reason some undetectable on ART will only say “positive”)

We’ve discussed here before how many have not stated status accurately - we know because they themselves have volunteered this to us or in other profiles - I know at least 2 in my geography and both made some fumbling noise about having forgotten to update their profiles, I just checked and after more than a year they still provide an incorrect status (not just blank) 

At the end of the day it shouldn’t really matter if you’re already ok seeing a provider if you protect yourself per your own tolerance level - and that can mean lots of different things 

On 3/15/2024 at 4:48 AM, BonVivant said:

Analysis paralysis. Make a decision and go for it.  Experience it. 

You just killed the need for this site …😉

On 3/15/2024 at 11:16 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I seen one escort in his ad claim, “I don’t accept pay app payments, the federal government is watching our transactions.” Which is not true.

That’s not the only reason many don’t want to pay deposits to providers but why is this not true?  

Pretty much every disclaimer or terms and conditions for cash sites makes it clear that they can and will share data with the government if requested and that they will proactively report anything they suspect violates their rules which includes transacting in illegal categories.

On 3/13/2024 at 8:20 PM, Jarrod_Uncut said:

I think pinning providers against one another is a bit toxic habit, something that some believe is acceptable

Unless you’re advocating the abolition of free market economics that makes no sense

3 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

 

All animals choose mates based on a variety of signals but primarily HEALTH is am overwhelming driver in this decision-making process.
 

 

Or the perception of it perhaps. I’d say social conditioning is as or more important. People would be making different choices if media (including porn) presented different ideas of what is attractive (and perhaps by implication, healthy). Some don’t have a problem with partners indulging in PNP, unprotected sex (even with PREP in the mix though that’s not universal and recent) or other eating disorders that keep one “not fat” but might be causing havoc elsewhere in the body (or mind). 
 

And as you say we’re talking prostitution not long term relationships - where an old or fat partner (however defined and for the purpose of discussion here) benefiting the provider means they might not reject them. And a compliment paid to a client tapping into their perceived sensitivities may be smart for business even if potentially offensive to others and may not even represent what that provider really feels on such issues.

And I can imagine some providers and others I’ve met saying something like “actually I’d rather have a fatty than a …” (fill in the blank … racial slur, height, age, disability related filter “ etc).