SouthOfTheBorder

re; “rape”, sending someone to “collect” the unpaid fee & driving 10 hours for an appointment - none of these ideas or actions make sense in context of the simple act of hiring a provider 
once you’ve been scammed by either provider or client - chalk it up to a learning experience & don’t do the same thing again. if you lost $200-$400 then you got off easy
the vast majority of appointments & transactions happen without any trouble at all.  don’t make it complicated unless you want a complicated situation 

re; “rape”, sending someone to “collect” the unpaid fee & driving 10 hours for an appointment - none of these ideas or actions make sense in context of the simple act of hiring a provider 
once you’ve been scammed by either provider or client - chalk it up to a learning experience & don’t do the same thing again. if you lost $200-$400 then you got off easy
the vast majority of appointments & transactions happen without any trouble at all.  don’t make it complicated unless you want a complicated situation 

learning to walk-away from stupid people or situations is worthwhile 

re; “rape”, sending someone to “collect” the unpaid fee & driving 10 hours for an appointment - none of these ideas or actions make sense in context of the simple act of hiring a provider 
once you’ve been scammed by either provider or client - chalk it up to a learning experience & don’t do the same thing again. if you lost $200-$400 then you got off easy
the vast majority of appointments & transactions happen without any trouble at all.  don’t make it complicated unless you want a complicated situation 

Question, 
If out of all of your bookings, this is the first time you were stiffed out of payment, why would you change your entire business model (imposing upfront payments), based on that singular experience? Have you considered the  potential drop in future bookings as most potential clients do not like paying up front? 
 
 
 
 

keeping expectations low & reasonable makes for better outcomes.  

providers aren’t machines & I don’t expect them to cum.  and, I don’t need to cum to be satisfied.  I usually tell the provider at the start that I don’t need to cum & here is what I enjoy, xxxxx for an erotic/sexual experience - takes all the pressure off & they seem to appreciate clear direction 
the best providers are intuitive & can read the body language - they’re not mindreaders tho, so if you want something specific, then say it

at this point - if someone demands upfront payment,  I’d leave immediately.  It hasn’t happened much, but when it does, it usually means mediocrity 
since payment after services rendered is the norm, it should be noted in profile if they want payment in advance - of course, the scammers won’t reveal themselves that way.
always cash - no electronic trail or names 

keeping expectations low & reasonable makes for better outcomes.  

providers aren’t machines & I don’t expect them to cum.  and, I don’t need to cum to be satisfied.  I usually tell the provider at the start that I don’t need to cum & here is what I enjoy, xxxxx for an erotic/sexual experience - takes all the pressure off & they seem to appreciate clear direction 
the best providers are intuitive & can read the body language - they’re not mindreaders tho, so if you want something specific, then say it

keeping expectations low & reasonable makes for better outcomes.  

providers aren’t machines & I don’t expect them to cum.  and, I don’t need to cum to be satisfied.  I usually tell the provider at the start that I don’t need to cum & here is what I enjoy, xxxxx for an erotic/sexual experience - takes all the pressure off & they seem to appreciate clear direction 
the best providers are intuitive & can read the body language - they’re not mindreaders tho, so if you want something specific, then say it

Bozo was in attendance. It was Bozo's first BuffDaddy's event in many years.
Bozo arrived around 8:30. There were already a few dancers mulling about.  There were nice comfy sofas throughout the place, and thankfully no loud music blasting. The music was soft, 70's and 80's pop. Quite refreshing.
There was a nice assortment of sexy guys of all shapes and sizes - White, Black, Latin, blonde, brunette, twinks, and muscleboys. All of the boys that were announced in BD's promo e-mail, except one, showed up. They were well-mannered, None were aggressive or pushy.
The $60 admission fee included unlimited alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks.
BuffDaddy worked tirelessly to make this event a success. Tonight BD acted as doorman, greeter, cashier, bartender, and social director. 
The event was "chill" and laid back - very enjoyable!
It is important that our community support events like this that are gay owned and operated.
Thanks BD for finding time tonight to chat with Bozo and also for your efforts in making events like this possible for us Gothamites.
@JckBNimble, hope this report is adequate.
BTC

keeping expectations low & reasonable makes for better outcomes.  

providers aren’t machines & I don’t expect them to cum.  and, I don’t need to cum to be satisfied.  I usually tell the provider at the start that I don’t need to cum & here is what I enjoy, xxxxx for an erotic/sexual experience - takes all the pressure off & they seem to appreciate clear direction 
the best providers are intuitive & can read the body language - they’re not mindreaders tho, so if you want something specific, then say it

at this point - if someone demands upfront payment,  I’d leave immediately.  It hasn’t happened much, but when it does, it usually means mediocrity 
since payment after services rendered is the norm, it should be noted in profile if they want payment in advance - of course, the scammers won’t reveal themselves that way.
always cash - no electronic trail or names 

Here’s the red flags which I’ve learned from years of experience. All of them are an automatic ‘no’. Say ‘sorry no’ to these clients and do not be tempted to give them the benefit of the doubt. Decide your rules and stick to them regardless. If you don’t do that the work will destroy you. 
1. I’m not able to afford it, would you do me a discount? Top 🚩 
2. I’m a student / temporarily unemployed are there special rates for me? These might come with a ‘sob story’. Very sad. But still it’s a ‘no’. 
3. Do you do half hour sessions? (Anything less than your minimum advertised session….and if you’re advertising anything less than an hour minimum why are you doing that?)
4. Any reference to ‘I’ll be a regular client’ in the discussion. Big 🚩 You’ll never see him again. 
5. Any reference to them being so hot that you’ll not want to charge. Run a mile from these. Run a mile.
6. Opening with ‘I’m very inexperienced / a virgin etc’. Don’t waste your time (if this comes up after he’s booked it’s less of a 🚩 but he’s likely to cancel on the day.
7. Any contact that opens with ‘hey, what’s up, how are you’ etc will be a waste of time. You decide whether you have the spare time to engage with a window shopper.
8. Any contact that opens with a dick pic (or ass). Delete and block. Don’t waste your time. It’s probably not his dick anyway. 
9. Any sex chat during the booking conversation (unless it’s a genuine question about activities included). It will be obvious if the booking process is being used for sex chat. Big 🚩 Disengage immediately.
10. Last minute or urgent bookings. “Free now? I’m desperate” Always trouble. Just answer ‘no sorry’. Even if he offers premium payment don’t accept the booking. 
The common theme? These clients don’t value you. If you accept them at their terms then you’re agreeing with their valuation. That can’t be the start of a good meeting. 
 
 
 

for providers - serious question, how do you take care of your sexual health with the current standard of unprotected sex ?  I’m not talking about hiv because that’s almost irrelevant w Prep and most positive gay men on meds.  But that leaves a lot of STIs that can still cause major problems/discomfort.
for me, condoms aren’t a moral question or decision but rather a practical one.  I just don’t want to spend unnecessary time going to the doctor, testing & then meds if I should be exposed to an sti.  
i can remember a phone call from a provider years ago saying he had an sti and I should go get tested.  I appreciated the call & sure enough - I had it too.  Ever since then it’s been condoms for me - it just seems that mixing with so many people it would be statistically difficult to manage sexual health.
Im wondering how working providers who routinely engage in unprotected sex w multiple partners can stay healthy ?   Most guys say they are tested every 2-3 months, but is that even enough ?
My understanding of DoxyPep is that it’s useful after occasional unprotected sex, but not meant as a routine - maybe I’m misinformed on that - and that really only treats Chlamydia & Syphilis, not gonorrhea and all the others.
if the providers have any tricks of the trade used to mitigate, I’d like to know that.  And is there any sort of discreet visual inspection that can be done of potential partners ?  do providers ever decline clients if something doesn’t look right ?
I don’t think anyone actually likes condoms - some people are just more risk averse than others.  And almost nobody discusses or acknowledges contracting an STI.  Honestly, this is my biggest hangup about sex.  
My sense is established professional providers are more on top of their sexual health than the average person - just another reason why I avoid the apps and prefer paid encounters.  
I’ve found almost nobody wants to discuss this subject in personal terms - it’s always in the abstract and seemingly unrealistic w very little acknowledgement of the real world. It could be my fears are unfounded - and if that’s the case, I’d like to get perspective on that too
Ive seen references in other threads about having conversations w providers about sexual health & practices - I’d like to know how that ideally goes from a providers perspective 
  And yes - I know all things carry some risk - it’s about making better choices, maybe not perfect ones.

some Thermas tips 
1. go early - before it gets crowded.  Thermas is big and spread across 3 floors - it can be disorienting to arrive when filed with providers & clients. Plus - it’s competitive & the locals/regulars will always go for their favorites who are usually the most in-demand. Arriving when it’s crowded puts you at a disadvantage. I like to arrive at opening about 3p and watch as providers/ clients arrive. 
2. get familiar with the layout - because it is confusing.  I’d recommend a complete walk-through of the entire place at least once to take note of spa facilities & bar (first floor), all showers (first & second floors).  And the one private bathroom on first floor with a douche - the key to that bathroom is at reception and depending on the attendant, they may require you buy an attachment or if you have your own, then a tip to get the key.  Return the key asap as there may be others waiting.
3. there will always be guys hanging around the reception area & watching the clients locker room.  the game is to snag clients in that area & before they can see the other providers.  don’t fall for it.
4. like anywhere else - be cautious if anyone offers you anything to ingest. last time I was there, a provider offered candy between sessions - upon inspection it was potent edible marijuana. there are a couple guys there routinely selling things - I’d avoid them & whatever they have.  they are obvious & likely will make an approach at some point. 
5. the free cabins are fine for 30 minutes & the staff cleans continuously- but that doesn’t mean you’ll always get a fresh cabin.  If you want to make sure it’s clean - then private rooms. Again - getting there early ensures access to private rooms - when it’s crowded you may wait and sometimes they don’t open up at all. 
6. you dont need ID to get in - leave passports & valuables in your hotel safe.  I carry a set amount of cash, one credit card & phone.  I don’t leave those items in the locker - I carry them with me in a small pack at all times.  you need cash for the guys - everything else can be on credit card.
7. bring your own condoms & lube.  the condoms provided are the most basic & the lube is almost nonexistent.  the guys appreciate good quality condoms & it makes a big difference.  I like to bring my own antibacterial soap along too - just to be extra careful between sessions.  availability of soap in the showers is not a sure thing.
8. if smoking bothers you - avoid the area on the second floor where smokers congregate.  for people who smoke, it’s ideal place to engage the guys in a more relaxed environment.
9. don’t be afraid to say no.  you will be approached many times by guys who may not be your type.  there’s not pressure per se, but they are direct and don’t want to waste time.  they are used to no & it’s just part of the environment.  polite & firm gets the message across.  

10. you will pay for everything at the end & check your final bill carefully.  if buying drinks for providers, make sure you are clear at that time what you’re offering. an offer for a drink can easily turn into a full meal - and that’s fine if that is what you’re offering.  if spending a few hours there, the charges can add up quickly. 
11. don’t be afraid to tell the provider exactly what you want - they’re professionals and have seen it all, several times.  no reason to be embarrassed.  If there is a language barrier - use google translate or show them a video of the type of scene you want. a video is easiest way to get the clear message across & I’ve seen several clients do it.

 
 
 

thats pretty much unheard of - but not impossible.  It doesn’t reflect current prices for sales of single-family homes or condos.  A very low HOA means either no amenities or hundreds of apartments w few amenities.  Probably also means an older building. 

Broward County (Ft Lauderdale) property taxes are about 1.985% of assessed value.  Assessed value is depending on when you bought the property, at what price & whether it’s homestead or not.  
Median listing price for a condo in Ft L is $500,000.  That means $9,928 in property taxes.  There are a few coops in Florida and those may have much lower property taxes. 
At the end - it’s all about quality of life and what you’re willing to put up with & pay. 
FYI - you can browse property taxes at the Broward County Tax Assessor website with only an address - you’ll also get complete sales history with prices & ownership, same with any other county in Florida.  They also have a tax calculator to show what your estimated property taxes will be on any new purchase w any deductions that may apply. 

google “Florida Zombie Condos” & see what comes up

perspective - to afford an $8M house, you have to be worth $30M in reality, an "ultra high net-worth" individual. And typically, these people own several homes. 
there are 129,750 people worth $30M in the US.  Or, .00039% of the population - way beyond the 1%.
I get Florida as a tax-haven if you really don't want to live there.  As an investment- those days are over.  
i sold last year at a very good time for sellers.  Between rising carrying costs, increase in equity & the general decline of quality of life - it was a very easy decision.   Basically, take the money & run.  The new buyer of my place will have $50,000 in HOA & property taxes in year 1, after a cash purchase - and it wasnt anything considered high-end.  the buyer just wrote a blank check for spiraling fees & taxes
owning real estate in Florida in Florida is like owning a boat - there are 2 good days, the day you buy it & the day you sell it.

for providers - serious question, how do you take care of your sexual health with the current standard of unprotected sex ?  I’m not talking about hiv because that’s almost irrelevant w Prep and most positive gay men on meds.  But that leaves a lot of STIs that can still cause major problems/discomfort.
for me, condoms aren’t a moral question or decision but rather a practical one.  I just don’t want to spend unnecessary time going to the doctor, testing & then meds if I should be exposed to an sti.  
i can remember a phone call from a provider years ago saying he had an sti and I should go get tested.  I appreciated the call & sure enough - I had it too.  Ever since then it’s been condoms for me - it just seems that mixing with so many people it would be statistically difficult to manage sexual health.
Im wondering how working providers who routinely engage in unprotected sex w multiple partners can stay healthy ?   Most guys say they are tested every 2-3 months, but is that even enough ?
My understanding of DoxyPep is that it’s useful after occasional unprotected sex, but not meant as a routine - maybe I’m misinformed on that - and that really only treats Chlamydia & Syphilis, not gonorrhea and all the others.
if the providers have any tricks of the trade used to mitigate, I’d like to know that.  And is there any sort of discreet visual inspection that can be done of potential partners ?  do providers ever decline clients if something doesn’t look right ?
I don’t think anyone actually likes condoms - some people are just more risk averse than others.  And almost nobody discusses or acknowledges contracting an STI.  Honestly, this is my biggest hangup about sex.  
My sense is established professional providers are more on top of their sexual health than the average person - just another reason why I avoid the apps and prefer paid encounters.  
I’ve found almost nobody wants to discuss this subject in personal terms - it’s always in the abstract and seemingly unrealistic w very little acknowledgement of the real world. It could be my fears are unfounded - and if that’s the case, I’d like to get perspective on that too
Ive seen references in other threads about having conversations w providers about sexual health & practices - I’d like to know how that ideally goes from a providers perspective 
  And yes - I know all things carry some risk - it’s about making better choices, maybe not perfect ones.

I’ve never once called ahead and asked that. If there’s an elevator key pass required I meet in the lobby, if not…right up to my room. Zero issues with visitors here in SoCal, ever. My feeling is most hotel employees have “seen it all”.

I’ve used dayuse.com several times.  super easy with lots of options in big cities.  you can pay on the website or upon arrival at hotel.  very good deals & deep discounts compared to overnight rates.  
it’s a perfect solution for hiring - totally worth it to avoid risk of having a stranger in your home
it makes sense - hotels are getting additional revenue from unused rooms during the day.  

good !  
There are very few of these type saunas remaining with most of them in Brazil.  The Thermas facility is definitely bigger than the new Lagoa.  And it feels bigger than Pointe 202 & 117.  It gets very crowded for sure, but doesn’t feel absolutely packed like the Brazilian saunas mainly due to Thermas larger facility.  There is no such thing as waiting for a room at Thermas because there is always somewhere to go - there are lots of free cabins there that will do for 30 minutes.  
Don’t pay too much attention to going during peak hours - I think that’s a big mistake for most, especially if unfamiliar with the layout and guys.  My best experiences have been off-hours when it’s not crowded.  On my last visit, I went on a Saturday at about noon - the cashier told me there was only one working guy there and 3 other customers.  I didn’t have any other plans, so I thought why not just enjoy the facilities for a while ?  Within 30 minutes I met one of the most beautiful, gifted and kind Brazilian garotos anywhere.  I spent a couple hours with him in sessions and having drinks & chatting (he spoke enough English to get by).  I left the sauna at 3p as the working guys were streaming in. Went to hotel, took a nap and returned for round two at 7p as the crowd was starting to thin-out. The moment I walked through the door on the return, I met one of my all time favorites and spent the rest of the night with him.
Success in the sauna doesn’t require any special expertise - other than an awareness that you are being watched, sized-up & discussed by the boys.  Treat them all with respect and don’t waste their time unless you’re really interested.  The guys I know from there all take pride in their appearance and go the extra mile in personal hygiene - they appreciate it when clients do the same.  A prepared client who is polite, respectful & generous is a popular client who can get whatever they want.  While the base rate is 50, tipping for extraordinary service is appropriate and small tips to the attendants and bartender goes a long way too.  If you can manage some basic Spanish, that’s a game-changer.
I’m a huge fan of Thermas and have so many great memories from there.  Happy to share.

I’ve used dayuse.com several times.  super easy with lots of options in big cities.  you can pay on the website or upon arrival at hotel.  very good deals & deep discounts compared to overnight rates.  
it’s a perfect solution for hiring - totally worth it to avoid risk of having a stranger in your home
it makes sense - hotels are getting additional revenue from unused rooms during the day.  

it feels like “scamming” or people actively doing dishonest or harmful things using online platforms is accelerating.  there are more perpetrators looking for victims because it’s just easier online - and the ease of which many invite strangers into their homes, typically when they are alone & most vulnerable.
there’s nothing wrong with an abundance of caution however that works for each person in context of risk tolerance.  and there’s a big difference between a mediocre provider appointment or getting short-changed vs getting robbed/assaulted or blackmailed.  while the chances are slim this will happen, play the game long enough & with frequency - something unpleasant will happen.  the idea is to minimize the chances for something to go sideways. 
I think the best vet is to hire someone with a known public profile - someone that has a social media presence or other.  very unlikely for someone to risk their reputation on small stuff.  
risk-tolerance definitely changes over time & when you have more to lose. I’d never invite an unknown person into my home these days for whatever reason.

dayuse.com is your friend - discounted hotel rooms during day hours when trouble is less likely to happen
 
 

while anecdotes are interesting & are part of the story - it’s generally more useful to look at market trends.  Since, beginning of 2024 - home prices are up in San Francisco 3.7% YTD according to the MSN story provided.  No telling if this will be sustained or not.
the big difference between San Francisco & Florida - SF has jobs & income to support high home prices.  Florida does not - the Florida economy is driven by low-wage jobs in service & tourism.  Florida’s real estate sector is based upon speculation.  San Francisco economy is driven by global technology & finance - more billionaires per capita in SF than any where else.  And it’s not just billionaires - the very high incomes of tech workers in SF supports high home prices in a very small city with a finite supply of housing.  
The problems in SF will eventually get fixed.  And Florida will remain Florida, dependent on nonstop & unregulated population growth to sustain the real estate speculation, which has already peaked. 
both areas have a long history of boom & bust real estate cycles.  no surprise SF is seeing a bust now. 
 

I’ve used dayuse.com several times.  super easy with lots of options in big cities.  you can pay on the website or upon arrival at hotel.  very good deals & deep discounts compared to overnight rates.  
it’s a perfect solution for hiring - totally worth it to avoid risk of having a stranger in your home
it makes sense - hotels are getting additional revenue from unused rooms during the day.