Are you "gay"? Are you "queer"? What the hell are you?!

[+ Charlie]

The word "gay" when I was young was an adjective that described a person or event that was light-hearted and jovial. "Our Hearts Were Young and Gay" was the title of a popular film in the 1940s, based on a memoir by two famous women writers who described their youthful social adventures in Paris before the war. I didn't learn a new use of the word until I became sexually active in 1960, and discovered that "gay" was a code word used among male homosexuals to describe their secretive social community. I had to laugh when I lived in a "Pennsylvania Dutch" area in the early 1960s, and found out that "gay" was the code word that the Amish residents used to describe any non-Amish neighbor, so if they said, "Oh, you're gay," it didn't mean they knew I slept with other men. (I don't imagine they use that term any longer.) Post-Stonewall, although "homosexual" was still the formal descriptor, it seemed that everyone learned that "gay" meant anyone who had same-gender sex partners. I remember a lot of debate over the use of the term in the 1970s (lesbians thought it was restricted to men, bi-sexuals thought it was too limiting to refer to them, etc.), but it seems to have become the default word used in most public discourse, if one doesn't simply use the LGBTQ monogram. More often, however, I am seeing "queer," which used to have a very negative connotation, being used by younger males who are not strictly heterosexual, to describe themselves.

I've been "gay" for so long that it is my automatic response, if asked. But what about you?

[+ Lucky]

Gay here. I hate it when I see newspapers use "queer" as an accepted word.

One website that I use has expanded the LGBT acronym to LGBTQIAP+ 

Where does it stop?

[Just Chuck]

A few years ago, I saw an article that suggested the acronym GASM for Gender and Sexual Minorities as a broad overarching term. I like that term a lot.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I like sexual dissident. 

[Marc in Calif]

35 minutes ago, Just Chuck said:

A few years ago, I saw an article that suggested the acronym GASM for Gender and Sexual Minorities as a broad overarching term. I like that term a lot.

I think I have enough gas to be a GASM (gassy male)!

[+ Charlie]

1 hour ago, Just Chuck said:

A few years ago, I saw an article that suggested the acronym GASM for Gender and Sexual Minorities as a broad overarching term. I like that term a lot.

To me that sounds so overarching that it doesn't tell me much about an individual. (Maybe that's the point.)

Edited October 13, 2023 by Charlie

[Marc in Calif]

5 minutes ago, Charlie said:

To me that sounds so overarching that it doesn't tell me much about an individual. (Maybe that's the point.)

It's extremeley overarching in terms of gender minorities.

In reality, the total population of men is a minority (49.5%) in the United States.

Are all American men therefore GASMs?

[Marc in Calif]

1 hour ago, José Soplanucas said:

I like sexual dissident. 

That means you say "No" to sex. You dissent. You object! ☺️

[+ Charlie]

15 minutes ago, Marc in Calif said:

That means you say "No" to sex. You dissent. You object! ☺️

In other words, it is not specific enough about what it is that you object to in the sexual realm. I believe that the A in the acronym that Lucky mentioned stands for "asexual," someone who doesn't identify as interested in sexual activity.

NOTE: Technically, LGBTQIAP" is not an acronym but an abbreviation, because a true acronym should be pronounceable as a word.

Edited October 13, 2023 by Charlie
Additional info.

[Danny-Darko]

Homosexual male here. "Gay" when questioned because it's a term most are familiar with like Straight vs Heterosexual. I loathe the term "Queer". In my days it was a slur akin to the N-word and F-word which for some reason the forum won't allow me to type.  

[Marc in Calif]

23 minutes ago, Charlie said:

NOTE: Technically, LGBTQIAP" is not an acronym but an abbreviation, because a true acronym should be pronounceable as a word.

Actually that's not correct.

An abbreviation is a shortened form of a single word: ft, Dr, km, and Mrs are abbreviations.

An initialism is a series of first letters: LGBTQIAP, UN, USA, and AFAIK are initialisms.

An acronym is typically an initialism that is pronounced as a single word: NATO, SARS, and COVID are acronyms.

[Guest]

I feel a song coming on....

 

Edited October 13, 2023 by Unicorn

[CuriousByNature]

2 hours ago, Just Chuck said:

A few years ago, I saw an article that suggested the acronym GASM for Gender and Sexual Minorities as a broad overarching term. I like that term a lot.

But if you want to emphasize you're not in the closet, would you be an Openly Reporting Gender and Sexual Minority? An ORGASM?

[Guest]

 

Edited October 13, 2023 by Unicorn

[pubic_assistance]

6 hours ago, Charlie said:

when I lived in a "Pennsylvania Dutch" area in the early 1960s, and found out that "gay" was the code word that the Amish residents used to describe any non-Amish neighbor, so if they said, "Oh, you're gay," it didn't mean they knew I slept with other men. (I don't imagine they use that term any longer.) P

Interesting.

I've never heard that term used that way in the 70's/ 80's...so pretty sure that you're correct.

No longer used.

We mostly called outsiders to the order "the English".

 

[pubic_assistance]

7 hours ago, Charlie said:

More often, however, I am seeing "queer," which used to have a very negative connotation, being used by younger males who are not strictly heterosexual, to describe themselves.

The 20 somethings probably don't flinch like I do when they hear "queer".

Growing up in a religious conservative community, the term "Queer" was more than a cocksucker. It meant you're so fucked up in the head, you don't belong...and to the Pennsylvania Dutch, belonging to the community is everything.

Cocksucking could be forgiven but "queer" was a condemnation of your worth as a human being.

I hate that word.

Edited October 13, 2023 by pubic_assistance
grammar

[+ Charlie]

34 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Interesting.

I've never heard that term used that way in the 70's/ 80's...so pretty sure that you're correct.

No longer used.

We mostly called outsiders to the order "the English".

 

I also remember hearing myself referred to as "one of the English" when I was dating a girl from Lebanon County whose family were Church of the Brethren.

[+ nycman]

I prefer the ”F" word. 

And, I hate nanny censorship!

[Guest]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

...We mostly called outsiders to the order "the English".

 

You're Amish? 😲

[Guest]

1 hour ago, pubic_assistance said:

The 20 somethings probably don't flinch like I do when they hear "queer"...

I'm proud that we've taken ownership/control of this word. 

[Becket]

Watched Good Will Hunting recently. The label they used in that movie in one scene was that you "putt from the rough."  So I'll invent a new term. I'm a "roughie."

[+ azdr0710]

I'm seeing "queer" more and more lately and it seems to be becoming the generic word in journalism for anybody who is homosexual......I believe some media/newspapers are trying to get away from "gay", "lesbian", etc. as too exclusive or explicit and trying to find a general all-purpose word.....to me, the word seems a bit dated and also a bit, uhhh, mean/weird/strange?

[GTMike]

2 minutes ago, azdr0710 said:

I'm seeing "queer" more and more lately and it seems to be becoming the generic word in journalism for anybody who is homosexual......I believe some media/newspapers are trying to get away from "gay", "lesbian", etc. as too exclusive or explicit and trying to find a general all-purpose word.....to me, the word seems a bit dated and also a bit, uhhh, mean/weird/strange?

The younger generation current way to express a broader spectrum - 

Queer - Wikipedia

EN.WIKIPEDIA.ORG

 

[Brak]

When I was in high school, “gay” was used as the default term for anyone or anything you didn’t like. I didn’t even hear “queer” as a kid so for me it doesn’t really have baggage. I’m a cis gay man, but I’m part of the queer community which includes a lot of different subsets of people. The same way I’m of both Irish and European ancestry. 

Edited October 14, 2023 by Brak

[Brak]

If someone wanted to lob an insult at a gay guy it would have been “f*g” or “homo” not “queer”