What do you do when he wants payment upfront?

[InterestingGuy]

Another thread made me want to ask about escorts and upfront payments.

 

Everyone seems to agree to not pay upfront- but what exactly do you say when asked?

 

If the escort has arrived and is standing there and says "Before we begin, I need payment upfront" - it's unlikely anyone just says "No." and then everything proceeds wonderfully from there.

 

So how would you handle that and not end up with a walk-out or an awkward situation?

[+ tassojunior]

Done it a few times.......I politely explain, No, I don't operate that way ever. Then I allow them to back down and save face by proposing either 1. I advance a small amount in good faith, maybe 20%, or 2. I'll tear the bills in two and give you half of each in advance. #2 makes them think I'm crazier than them and they back off and accept #1. Never had a taker on 2.

 

May have had one or two cancel out but I don't remember any, meaning it didn't happen or they were not memorable. A stunt like that would make me forget someone quick and they'd have to be crazy for wasting a time slot. And I have had a couple just back down and do it without anything up front after refusal.

[MscleLovr]

My response is similar. I smile and say I don’t do that, but I’m happy to show you I have the money for you in an envelope that you can pick up afterwards. (I always put the envelope in a visible spot in the bedroom)

 

FWIW I’ve only been asked to pay upfront 2x over the years: one guy was useless in bed, essentially a rip-off; and the other guy was beautiful to look at but lackluster in performance. So to me, being asked to pay upfront is a strong adverse signal.

[+ MakeMeCowboy]

I express regret that he didn't include that requirement in his ad or in our discussion because for me that's a deal breaker. Universally, those who require the money up front have no intent on delivering on their promises. I also don't give them the choice of changing their mind of taking payment afterward. In my opinion, in that moment they are hustling me and that's not going to happen. In all fairness I'll add that my well trained Doberman Pinscher is in the area.

[+ PapaTony]

Follow up question.

 

If asked and you refuse to pay upfront, what’s your end game?

[MikeBiDude]

If it’s a first time meet for me the “donation “ is always out in plain sight somewhere, bills fanned out so a quick scan confirms it’s all there. A minuscule amount of guys have grabbed it at the onset.

 

Yes there are scammers, but my take on it is that escorts get scammer clients also, frequently. So asking for money upfront may be a problem, or just a way for an escort to verify YOU are the real deal.

[+ VictorPowers]

Done it a few times.......I politely explain, No, I don't operate that way ever. Then I allow them to back down and save face by proposing either 1. I advance a small amount in good faith, maybe 20%, or 2. I'll tear the bills in two and give you half of each in advance. #2 makes them think I'm crazier than them and they back off and accept #1. Never had a taker on 2.

 

May have had one or two cancel out but I don't remember any, meaning it didn't happen or they were not memorable. A stunt like that would make me forget someone quick and they'd have to be crazy for wasting a time slot. And I have had a couple just back down and do it without anything up front after refusal.

I'd call your bluff on option 2 and have a very fun story to tell! The bank will exchange mutilated bills if 75%+ of the bill is present.

[+ glutes]

So to me, being asked to pay upfront is a strong adverse signal.

 

+1!

[mentalkink]

The one time I did that was the poorest experience with the most rude asshole ever. Paying up front is a guarantee you will have an experience not anywhere close to being satisfactory.

[LaffingBear]

I've seldom been asked to pay up front.

 

Historically, I dont recall there being a problem when I was asked. But I've never liked doing it.

 

It happened once in 2017, as as the minutes progressed, I became dissatisfied, and asked the guy to leave. Found myself wheedling with the guy to get my money back - eventually got 80% back. But if he hadn't had upfront money, I'd have more forcibly taken him to the door.

 

So, I won't pay upfront again.

Edited February 26, 2018 by LaffingBear

[JayCeeKy]

Only one escort ever asked me to pay up front. That was in Atlanta about five years ago. As soon as I gave him the cash he left. Never ever again.

[+ Keith30309]

The first time I meet someone I’ve already done enough due diligence to be satisfied that not only is there virtually no risk of any sort of defrauding but also that the gentleman has a sincere intent that we have a great time together.

 

Put another way, I’m filtering based on “how will I feel after spending time with this person” rather than physical appearance and if I don’t have a good emotional vibe to begin with then it never gets to a point where I’m uncomfortable.

 

I did have one occasion a couple of years ago when I paid upfront and regretted it. All the warning signs were there and it was purely foolish, wishful thinking that prevented me from walking away when he opened the door.

 

Recently, I visited someone for the first time and heard “How about we get the money part taken care of so we can focus on each other” in the first few minutes. I hesitated for a split second but given that I was standing in his living room and had a good feeling I pulled the envelope out of my pocket and handed it to him and it quickly disappeared into his gym bag. Since then I’ve seen him almost weekly and even started including the tip with the time donation I drop on his desk as soon as I walk in

[+ Keith30309]

Only one escort ever asked me to pay up front. That was in Atlanta about five years ago. As soon as I gave him the cash he left. Never ever again.

Is he still advertising?

[wklucas]

For starters, I never "entertain" in my own home.....almost exclusively at my hotel.....a few times at their hotel.....with varied guys who became "regulars" or repeats over the years - sometimes at their homes.....in all of my hires, I can only recall one guy who showed & said some words to the effect of "let's get the business part over with before we move on to the good stuff / fun".....I recall that I went along with his request readily....he must have been pretty much who/what I expected or that he was affable / friendly or whatever vibe he gave off in asking aroused no alarms or suspicions....& the hire must have gone well - he certainly isn't among the hires that I vividly remember with regrets.....that all being said, in hotels I also always have their cash out on the desk....pretty plainly in sight but held in place by the base of a lamp or a book or whatever.....& also, I am not nor have ever been a practitioner of handing out "tips" - a phenomenon which seems pretty common around here.....the cash that I have out & ready is the agreed on amount...the guys generally stuff the cash in their pocket while they're getting dressed.....sometimes counting first but not even always......with guys who have become regulars, in many cases I've been generous with gifts and a variety of other favors done for them different from extra cash tips.....I tip in other social situations, i.e. masseurs in hotel spas, etc.....escorts for hire - they set their price....they get what they requested.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

This is something you should make clear in emails before the meet. I do not pay up-front, just so you know.

[Guest MikeThomas]

Never been asked for an upfront payment. When I’m with a repeat escort I often pay upfront to get that part done. It feels less transactional at the end.

[maninsoma]

This is something you should make clear in emails before the meet. I do not pay up-front, just so you know.

 

I think the shoe should be on the other foot: If the escort demands payment up front, it's his responsibility to let that be known when the appointment is scheduled rather than at the time of arrival. The client can either then agree to that, decline to schedule an appointment, or come to some mutually agreeable compromise with the escort.

[thickornotatall]

Ive seldom been asked to pay up front.

 

Historically, I dont recall there being a problem when I was asked. But Ive never liked doing it.

 

It happened once in 2017, as as the minutes progressed, I became dissatisfied, and asked the guy to leave. Found myself wheedling with the guy to get my money back - eventually got 80% back. But if he hadnt had upfront money, Id have more forcibly taken him to the door.

 

So, I wont pay upfront again.

Same happened to me..with a well reviewed NYC escort...we were in bed..he stopped and asked for his $$$..I got up..gave him the envelope with his name on it..and then not asked..but told him to get dressed in the hallway..where I put his clothes..I live in a doorman bldg. on 5th Ave downtown and called the doorman to "escort" him out...

[LookingAround]

I was only once asked for an upfront payment. The guy said since I was a first time client he asked for the money upfront. I said ok, gave it to him, and everything went fine. Totally good experience.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

I think the shoe should be on the other foot: If the escort demands payment up front, it's his responsibility to let that be known when the appointment is scheduled rather than at the time of arrival. The client can either then agree to that, decline to schedule an appointment, or come to some mutually agreeable compromise with the escort.

 

Well, now you're assuming that all escorts act in a professional manner

 

The key here is to think with your own safety, convenience and comfort in mind. Take that extra sentence in an email and get it out of the way: It's another form of protecting yourself versus letting others make a decision for you.

 

Personally, I feel paying upfront is a bad sign. A pro shouldn't ask unless there's a history with a particular problem client.

Edited February 26, 2018 by Benjamin_Nicholas

[+ Billsboy4]

Over the years, I've been asked twice and both times it was a bad experience. Never again. If it becomes an issue, I show them the donation and if that's not good enough, I let them leave. "Screw me once, shame on you.....screw me twice, shame on me!"

[+ VictorPowers]

Ensure the escort didn't "forget his toys in the car".

[Sandlapp]

A guy once asked me to pay upfront and I did. He had already greeted me warmly and I had a great feeling about it. It turned out to be a fantastic experience. I’ve seen him several times since and he’s never again asked for the payment upfront. In fact, he’s never again mentioned payment. Mutual trust was established on the first visit.

[Angel]

It is always better to listen to your intuition. And if your intuition says like "No" it is always better just to walk away. I paid upfront many times and had great experiences. I walked away couple of times and I don't regret. This upfront payment request is a good excuse for you to

leave if an escort behaves not friendly

[JayCeeKy]

Is he still advertising?

 

He was on Adam4Adam - he deleted his profile shortly thereafter. I am sure he is still advertising somewhere. I learned to do "due diligence" since then.