Condomless encounters

[+ FrankR]

1 hour ago, Antares said:

I’m on PrEP and use DoxyPEP, but still have a preference for using condoms. Pretty much won’t bottom without them, but I’ve had to get over it to some extent as more of a top. The BB attitude has just become too prevalent. Despite an ongoing jump in syphilis rates and lack of any protection against warts or herpes. Any “cumdump” bottoms or “breeder” tops are off the table and unattractive to me. 
 

side note: The breeder label is just cringeworthy to me, wish a better term had taken root. Just makes me think of animal husbandry. Plus it used to be a derogatory term used against straight people by our community, but at least made logical sense there. Kids these days, what ya gonna do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

You get to decide what you need to do to stay healthy.  My health comes first. The enjoyment of my partner comes second - because if I am not confortable then he will doubtlessly pick up on it. Sometimes “No.” is a full sentence. 

[+ SirBillybob]

On 5/19/2026 at 7:40 PM, Jamie21 said:

I wonder how many of the guys who are critical of bareback sex because of the health risks are at the same time taking big risks with their health by smoking, drinking alcohol or having a bad diet / no exercise resulting in them being overweight?

We all make choices but it seems to me that those being critical of those of us who do bareback sex are taking a moralistic approach yet seem to be hiding that behind health arguments. 

Whataboutism and false equivalence much?

By that logic, anybody regularly taking one basically established health-related risk such as a side of chips versus rocket at lunch forfeits the right to discuss another, along with weighing in on prevention guidelines and preferences, and gonorrhea checks your BMI before infecting you. 

Of course there is a value judgement regarding condom use, and public health messaging is inherently normative. Avoiding infection is preferable to acquiring one. In fact, it’s a rather uncontroversial values position. Recognizing it isn’t the same thing as demonstrating hidden moralism. 

You yourself may be inclined, with good intentions (how else would your motives be?), to discourage a guy’s smoking habit. Reality is under no obligation to be less carcinogenic in deference to his personal autonomy. 

Edited 8 hours ago by SirBillybob

[Aedo]

On 3/16/2026 at 4:06 PM, longislandjohn said:

I think in the time of prep, using a condom is not that common, but a preference is a preference.  It is something that should be hammered out before an encounter.  If your profile, or his, states condom only, that should be respected.  Since you hired him, why would he care?  He's getting paid regardless and I'd think he'd prefer a condom.  I can't imagine that the escort demanded no condom.  Well, I'd take it as a compliment!  He was getting paid and still wanted the full experience!

A huge reason why I seem only able to date in South America. Guys in the US don't seem to believe that other STIs exist, and they are all on prep and doxy. The last time I went on a date here in the US I got into a bit of an argument with the bottom as we were transitioning from oral to anal, much like the OP's story. He couldn't believe I used condoms. The argument killed the vibe -- "How could you NOT be on Prep!" this dumbass Rice graduate said, exasperatedly --, and I left and never saw him again.

[ShortCutie7]

5 minutes ago, Aedo said:

He couldn't believe I used condoms. The argument killed the vibe -- "How could you NOT be on Prep!" this dumbass Rice graduate said, exasperatedly --, and I left and never saw him again.

People are so incredibly short-sighted… one would think someone knowledgeable enough to be on PreP would know it only protects against one STI whereas condoms protect against pretty much all of them…

[DMonDude]

32 minutes ago, ShortCutie7 said:

People are so incredibly short-sighted… one would think someone knowledgeable enough to be on PreP would know it only protects against one STI whereas condoms protect against pretty much all of them…

To be fair, as has already been mentioned in this thread, it's probably because all the services people use to get PrEP also pair it with DoxyPep now. That's 4 STIs protected/increased protection from. Most others are curable/treatable or are ones people are vaccinated against. And ones like herpes also are equally as transmittable whether having sex bare on PrEP/DoxyPep or with a condom. Most people who aren't on PrEP and have anal sex with a condom don't do so for oral, so they still run the risk of getting other STIs too. All things considered the level of overall risk is closely comparable. So when the risk level is close, for a lot of those guys the choice is the one that feels better.

Not to say any of the guys are right to argue or pressure someone to take the condom off/not use it. They're wrong to do that to anyone. But I'm just saying you aren't getting their logic correct in your comment. They aren't being short sighted or making the decision they are thinking they are only protected against one STI. They've done math with details about the services that provide PrEP (like the fact that it also now normally comes with DoxyPep) that you didn't know and are acting accordingly.

Edited 3 hours ago by DMonDude
added clarifications.

[ShortCutie7]

3 minutes ago, DMonDude said:

To be fair, as has already been mentioned in this thread, it's probably because all the services people use to get PrEP also pair it with DoxyPep now. That's 4 STIs protected/increased protection from. Most others are curable/treatable or are ones people are vaccinated against. And ones like herpes also are equally as transmittable whether having sex bare on PrEP/DoxyPep or with a condom. All things considered the level of risk is closely comparable. So when the risk level is close, for a lot of those guys the choice is the one that feels better.

Not to say any of the guys are right to argue or pressure someone to take the condom off/not use it. But you're i'm just saying you aren't getting their logic correct in your comment.

I totally get that… my point is that condoms are more encompassing in what they protect against than PrEP (even when combined with DoxyPep), so the attitude against condoms by someone who is knowledgeable enough to be on PrEP in the first place is ridiculous.