BFE and jealousy about other clients

[Mark_fl]

I think it's just human nature (and chemical) to get emotionally attached to someone you're intimate with. Even moreso when you are hiring for a BFE, and you are paying for the illusion that the feeling is mutual.

So while in our brains we know that while a provider may enjoy our company (probably just good acting though 😉), they likely aren't thinking about until we book again. 

But.how do you othet clients feel about hearing a provider discuss other appointments or a boyfriend/girlfriend? Jealous? Turned on?  Protective? Dont want hear about it?

Jist curious.

[+ Pensant]

That has no effect on me at all. Their personal life is their business.

[SidewaysDM]

Great question. I am new to hiring, so I am very interested in hearing how other clients respond to this question. 

[+ FLOutdoors]

Expert advice has been given on this forum countless times……That advice was and is ….”Enjoy your BFE for as long as it lasts and never forget it’s a fantasy!” So by default, you need to not have a reaction when hearing about other clients. It’s still good advice!

[+ SirBillybob]

If it’s already framed as human nature, normative, for the idea of various levels of others’ attachments to influence our subjective sense of relative worth or personal mojo, or alternatively have no bearing on the dynamics of transactional intimacy, what’s the point of a type of survey about it? Day to day pedestrian interactional affect and a categorizing of some relatability to jealousy versus none at all is the most likely thread yield. The topic is interesting to the degree that somebody chimes in with a description of being monstrously jealous, of being delusional about expectations to feel uniquely special. Anyone … ? No judgement on this board.

Edited December 9 by SirBillybob

[+ poolboy48220]

I'd be wary of an escort who discussed other clients with me. It'd make me wonder if I was being discussed with his other clients. 

[Mark_fl]

15 minutes ago, poolboy48220 said:

I'd be wary of an escort who discussed other clients with me. It'd make me wonder if I was being discussed with his other clients. 

I didn't mean spefics or breaking confidentiality.  Just previous trips to this town or a trip they went on

[+ sync]

I'm fine with mentions of other men, but when they mention girlfriend/wife, I'm out.  No shade on the provider as an individual, it's just my personal "Rubicon."

[Braziliancutee]

I don’t discuss my clients with other clients! That’s totally awful mostly of my clients are  successful guys, business men, married and very discreet. And I just share sometimes about my bad experiences or some really good experience that I had. But I never discuss about my clients or something personal of them. 
 

[+ SirBillybob]

56 minutes ago, sync said:

I'm fine with mentions of other men, but when they mention girlfriend/wife, I'm out.  No shade on the provider as an individual, it's just my personal "Rubicon."

At least in those cases, not rare for me, I don’t have to pursue either BFE or GFE. I would do poorly on my side of either of those dynamics. Arousal, orgasm, peace out it is. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

We have a few regulars who've discussed other clients with us - never revealing any identifiable information. They tend to be humorous or horrifying stories. We don't seek a BFE so maybe it doesn't come up. 

Personally, I think jealousy is largely socially constructed. I grew up in a working-class community where an SO even looking at another person was considered a betrayal. Any infidelity was grounds for a breakup or divorce, regardless of circumstance or length of the relationship. IMO, these are unhealthy relationships based not on mutual love, loyalty and sharing a life, but almost a conscription into a forced monogamy that may not make sense for any particular couple. It's not about love, it's about possession and control. 

And if you have feelings that arise about a provider, I guess that you're placing them into this very heteronormative model. Enjoy the time you spend with people, whether a provider, a lover, or a friend, and don't worry about what they're doing the rest of the time. 

[BeamerBikes]

Perhaps it’s the strip club veteran in me… 

I understand the transactional relationship entered in. Sometimes there’s a genuine friendship formed but it’s rare and often complicated for a variety of reasons. 
 

If you are catching feelings for a provider that’s understandable, but it’s taken to the point of jealousy/envy. That’s not healthy full-stop!  The fantasy is turning into a delusion. 
 

If you ever date a stripper, you have to be ultra secure in yourself and what you bring to the table. Even having stripper friends, I’ve reminded them at work. “Listen I know we’re pals, I’m just drinking tonight - there’s some whales here go earn your rent. I’m staying til close as usual”.   Lol. That was when I was a regular before the day job came back in my life. 

[arousearound]

I’ll often ask questions about their clients, but more so for curiosity from their POV - like “are most clients nice, what was one of your worst, have u ever traveled anywhere with them, what’s one of the more interesting places you’ve been, etc.” I don’t mind them talking about whatever, I’m just genuinely curious. And honestly i think it kinda keeps the relationship transactional, which creates a natural boundary. I’ll ask about their boyfriend or who they’re dating, and they share stories too that feel relatable. I find it interesting just to learn about other people and their day-to-day drama or relationship woes. I don’t mind it at all. 

[savantsav]

I'm polyamorous so it's different I guess. I don't experience jealousy, I experience what is called compersion, which is the feeling of joy/happiness you get when the people you care about are doing things that provide them joy and happiness even if they do not include you. My previous BFE provider and I met regularly, did overnights, traveled, etc and when we were not together we still chatted and what not and I knew of their travel schedule and I would tell him "Hope you get tons of good work in X!". IDK, it's not an issue for me jealousy that is. With other providers am more comfortable with and we've arranged a set rate already I always tell them that if we have a booking but someone else is offering more for that time, to let me know and we can move it to another time/day no problem, I want for them all the success in the world.

Maybe I'm just weird 🤷‍♂️

[acks0104]

There are people out there that have difficulty separating fantasy from reality, and I don't say that in a judgmental way but as a matter of fact. There are a LOT of lonely people in the world and hiring is a great way to experience connection, but I don't think anyone should ever go into it expecting anything more than a nice business transaction.

Have there been men who have formed relationships with the escorts they hire? Sure, but people also win the lottery and you can't bank on things like that. Be realistic. It's nice to daydream but don't actually fool yourself into thinking it's anything more than a nice experience. Find non-monetary based relationships out in the world.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, savantsav said:

I don't experience jealousy, I experience what is called compersion, which is the feeling of joy/happiness you get when the people you care about are doing things that provide them joy and happiness

This isn't weird. Many couples who play together or have open relationships experience compersion. My husband and I both do. 

[savantsav]

6 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

This isn't weird. Many couples who play together or have open relationships experience compersion. My husband and I both do. 

Yea I meant weird as in 'not the norm'. 

[SecretProvider]

I've had to cut clients off when they behave this way and cross the line and they cannot separate reality from fantasy.

big difference from being friendly and being friends. I have genuine affection for my clients but there is not one that I would engage in outside of a work/client experience. 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, SecretProvider said:

there is not one that I would engage in outside of a work/client experience. 

I highly recommend you put this in your RM bio. 

[+ Alabastrine]

I'm new to hiring. I ended up really enjoying the BFE with my first provider so I've just kept requesting it (if it ain't broke don't fix it). I certainly am starting to battle the "feels" because the intimacy and chemistry can seem very real, doubly so since the provider I see has a sweet personality. I remind myself that it's not real, it's just business, and try to keep myself in check. So far my provider has been professional and doesn't really talk about other clients or their personal love life. As long as there's a professional client/provider relationship I have no expectations of anything crossing over into real life, therefore, I just expect he's probably in a relationship(s) and that's none of my business. It's also a given that they have other clients, and considering the nature of the hobby it seems silly (from my POV) for that to incur jealousy- I fully expect and hope they have plenty of good clients that are clean, compassionate and treat them welll. That being said, during the actual booked time when they're on the clock I'm paying them for the illusion that I'm the only girl in the world. That illusion would be hard to maintain if they babbling on about their SO. So I wouldn't say jealousy plays into it, just disappointment if I wasn't getting what I paid for. 

Edited Wednesday at 07:38 PM by Alabastrine

[+ PhileasFogg]

I think both the presence and concern about jealousy is OK

Intimacy creates connection and connection creates potential for jealousy.

But the client needs to ask a question - am I willing to offer this person an arrangement that replicates their - often - six figure income.

If the answer is “yes,” then do it.  Otherwise, accept what you have and, if your jealousy bugs you, then cut bait before it ends poorly anyway.   Jealousy will end all good connections eventually.

As a client, having multiple providers is usually a good elixir for jealousy. 

[+ SirBillybob]

5 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

As a client, having multiple providers is usually a good elixir for jealousy. 

Got that right. Too busy and distracted, like paying municipal, provincial, federal, and sales taxes. 

Edited Wednesday at 01:42 PM by SirBillybob

[LookingAround]

On 12/9/2025 at 7:56 AM, Mark_fl said:

I think it's just human nature (and chemical) to get emotionally attached to someone you're intimate with. Even moreso when you are hiring for a BFE, and you are paying for the illusion that the feeling is mutual.

So while in our brains we know that while a provider may enjoy our company (probably just good acting though 😉), they likely aren't thinking about until we book again. 

But.how do you othet clients feel about hearing a provider discuss other appointments or a boyfriend/girlfriend? Jealous? Turned on?  Protective? Dont want hear about it?

Jist curious.

 Couldn't care less. Who cares?