Feeling not attractive enough to hire

[Awksjoe]

Hi I'm from the UK and solo travelling soon to Spain and Berlin. Iv been wanting to hire someone for years and think this will be the perfect time . 

I'm not looking for a pep talk just I have some hangups about my body I'm overweight and have scars on my body that I'm very insecure about my questions are . Do the providers care what I look like? Would they find it weird if I didn't get fully naked? Should I tell them in advance that I'm fat? Lol thanks 

 

 

[TorontoDrew]

Some care and some don't. I always give my age, height and weight so they aren't surprised. Do that and you should be fine.

[+ Jamie21]

Good ones don’t care. Tell them in advance. The ones that are good will reply with something like ‘it doesn’t matter what you look like, it matters how you behave’. The bad ones will either ignore you or be evasive. Then you’ll know which to book won’t you. 

I see all sorts of clients for massage and more escort style work. Some are old, some disabled, some have scars, some are big, some are skinny. It really doesn’t matter except for practical purposes (like will you fit on my massage table, have you got any conditions or injuries I need to know about). As for what you look like, it’s immaterial. I care most about will you turn up, will you be respectful, will you participate and enjoy yourself. Go for it. Anyone who declines your business because of what you look like isn’t a real provider. If you find someone you’re comfortable with you’ll find your confidence grows each time you see him. 
 

 

[rawview]

I find that most guys in this industry try to make clients feel comfortable.  There are some jerks, as in all settings.  If I were you I'd just be up front and let the guy know you are new, a little concerned about different physical attributes and meet up with a guy that is supportive.  Again, I really find that most are respectful as long as you are in return.  Good luck and have some fun!

[SecretProvider]

No provider will care about your scars. 

I would encourage you to be as transparent as you can. Don't just say 'I am fat', be honest with your size. I never reject a client based on looks, but I do like to be mentally prepared with what I am dealing with. There is such a big range of 'fat' - it can be a little overweight, it can be morbidly obese or even extreme obesity, and we may need to plan for some logistic (are there stairs? is the bed big enough? will you be able to use the shower at my place?) 

One thing that I would also be mindful of is if you are of a size that causes difficulty with being able to reach every where in order to wash yourself fully - please ensure you take extra special care and time to do so before your meeting. (that includes all skin folds and so on, a full deep clean - not just a quick rinse off) 

 

[marylander1940]

2 hours ago, Awksjoe said:

Hi I'm from the UK and solo travelling soon to Spain and Berlin. Iv been wanting to hire someone for years and think this will be the perfect time . 

I'm not looking for a pep talk just I have some hangups about my body I'm overweight and have scars on my body that I'm very insecure about my questions are . Do the providers care what I look like? Would they find it weird if I didn't get fully naked? Should I tell them in advance that I'm fat? Lol thanks 

 

 

Escorts know many guys with your characteristic will hire them. Just share your real stats with them, I guarantee you that most of them will reply and be open to see you.

[Braziliancutee]

Just send a pic before and be gentleman… I am sure me and 98% of escorts will not mind with that. 

[DMonDude]

You won't have a problem with the majority of providers as others have said above, but i definitely understand the concern. It's one i had when i first started this too. If you have an attribute that's not what they are most used to working with it'll help to let them know ahead of time so they can make accommodations if needed. The providers also will not find it weird if you don't want to get fully naked, you don't have to. But that again is something you may want to tell them ahead of time. Especially if the provider you're hiring is going to be performing a massage. That's generally not something done with a shirt on.

At the same time, CMNM (clothed male, nude male) is a kink/fetish people have where you engage in the usual "activities" but one person stays clothed. This is something many providers (particularly ones who mention being kink friendly on their profiles) will likely already be familiar with so it shouldn't be an issue. As others have said, providers are used to a wide range of body types and age ranges. The best thing you can do is just be hygienic for them. A thorough brushing of the teeth + mouth wash and thorough bath/shower before the meet goes a LONG way. A provider will prefer a client who's obese and clean over a fit guy who hasn't showered in 3 days every single time.

[Awksjoe]

Thanks for all the replies I feel a lot better about taking the plunge when I travel this January. Just for clarity when I say fat I'm 105kg 5"8

[TorontoDrew]

49 minutes ago, Awksjoe said:

Thanks for all the replies I feel a lot better about taking the plunge when I travel this January. Just for clarity when I say fat I'm 105kg 5"8

Have fun!

[acks0104]

Overall my recommendation would be to go with someone that has very positive reviews. Experienced escorts with good reviews will have seen people in all different shapes and sizes and will not be put off. Also, it's totally okay to not be completely naked. Whatever makes you feel most comfortable!

[soloyo215]

I think being upfront about your looks and how you feel about them can be helpful, but I also know that some exploit it and use is to charge more. IMO, a good provider understands that the client and his needs come first.

Best.

[jmichaeliii]

I agree with everything above.  The good ones dont care about that stuff.  They care that you are nice, respectful and hygienic. 

Follow those rules and you will see how good of a time you will have!

[pubic_assistance]

18 hours ago, Awksjoe said:

Do the providers care what I look like? Would they find it weird if I didn't get fully naked? Should I tell them in advance that I'm fat? Lol thanks 

Yes, you should always be upfront.

Some providers are very good at completely ignoring physical attributes and other are NOT. So full disclosure is very much appreciated when booking intimate services.

There are definitely people out there who are kind and considerate and will make you feel comfortable. Just don't try getting that from any of the beauty-queen-Instagram-influencer types.

 

[BigK]

16 hours ago, Awksjoe said:

Thanks for all the replies I feel a lot better about taking the plunge when I travel this January. Just for clarity when I say fat I'm 105kg 5"8

We’re about the same proportions.  I’m slightly taller and a little heavier..  I’ve had very few problems in hiring when disclosing upfront that I’m overweight.  That’s really all I have to say.  You don’t need to get into exact height and weight, but I’m sure that’s not a put off either.
 

As many have already pointed out, it’s just so much better to be upfront then they will have proper expectations.  In my opinion, most escorts really cared that you are clean.

[Mark_fl]

I'm a bit stocky, and 60, but my concern is body hair. Arms, legs, back, everything. If that is a turnoff to a provider, I want him to know before agreeing to see me. So I put that, and what I'm looking for in my profile and ask them to read it and see if I'd be a good client for them.

If I don't hear back, no big deal.  Could be they don't travel that far, don't like what I want, or don't want to deal with the hair. I'm not butt-hurt, and I've not met anyone that made me feel unwanted.

Edited 18 hours ago by Mark_fl

[+ KensingtonHomo]

31 minutes ago, BigK said:

In my opinion, most escorts really cared that you are clean.

This cannot be emphasized enough. If you look at providers' posts on here, the most common complaint is that a client isn't hygienic. 

[Medin]

On 11/22/2025 at 9:09 PM, Awksjoe said:

Thanks for all the replies I feel a lot better about taking the plunge when I travel this January. Just for clarity when I say fat I'm 105kg 5"8

That isn't very big at all (5'8" @231 Lbs.) I'm guessing most providers see much larger on a regular basis.  No worries.