Reverting to hook ups after years of escort-only action

[Winterangel]

I can’t even remember when it happened but over the years I’ve become reliant on escorts, both as a stress relief, and of course to fulfil my needs.  It’s been a costly habit but I’ve met some great guys (and some terrible ones!) but on average the good experiences weigh out the bad.  And I’ve got to have sex with some super hot guys that wouldn’t look twice at me in real life.  I think of the beautiful lips I’ve kissed, the massive cocks I’ve sucked and taken, and the assess I’ve eaten… my cup has runneth over.

I don’t think I could ever give up escorts but the costs aren’t sustainable, certainly not at the level I have been indulging.  I’ve gone back on the apps for the first time in a decade and even went to a sauna recently, wondering if I can go back to hooking up.  Of course cold hard reality has hit me in the face. I’m not as attractive as I used to be and anyone I can attract… well, it’s a pretty big dip from what I’ve become used to.

I realize this is a first world problem that deserves absolutely no sympathy. I’m just wondering, can anyone relate? If so, did you make a successful transition? Again I’m not looking to quit the escort scene completely, but rather mix it up and get some balance back into my life.

[+ PhileasFogg]

I completely relate.  I suspect with the apps, you kiss 9 frogs to find a prince. But for me, the prince would also be one who saw something cool in you AND might be a FWB.

I’m new to the apps.  I’ve had 100 or so app “inquiries” (from me or to me) which resulted in five encounters, of which 2 were princes…and I’m neither a spring chicken nor a silver fox (and there are members of this forum who’ve met me and can attest to that 😅)

Don’t make it about your appearance.  Make it about “the package” including experience, respect, nurture, fun loving etc.  Be as fit and energetic as you can be but don’t apologize for what you can’t change.  And see it as an excavation where you’re peeling back layers of mud to find a few diamonds 

[DenverDad]

3 hours ago, Winterangel said:

I can’t even remember when it happened but over the years I’ve become reliant on escorts, both as a stress relief, and of course to fulfil my needs.  It’s been a costly habit but I’ve met some great guys (and some terrible ones!) but on average the good experiences weigh out the bad.  And I’ve got to have sex with some super hot guys that wouldn’t look twice at me in real life.  I think of the beautiful lips I’ve kissed, the massive cocks I’ve sucked and taken, and the assess I’ve eaten… my cup has runneth over.

I don’t think I could ever give up escorts but the costs aren’t sustainable, certainly not at the level I have been indulging.  I’ve gone back on the apps for the first time in a decade and even went to a sauna recently, wondering if I can go back to hooking up.  Of course cold hard reality has hit me in the face. I’m not as attractive as I used to be and anyone I can attract… well, it’s a pretty big dip from what I’ve become used to.

I realize this is a first world problem that deserves absolutely no sympathy. I’m just wondering, can anyone relate? If so, did you make a successful transition? Again I’m not looking to quit the escort scene completely, but rather mix it up and get some balance back into my life.

Definitely can relate.

[+ Act25]

I'm going the other way.  I was mostly using the apps for several years.  I'm in a niche segment - looking for twinks who liked their daddies.  Met some great guys and had fun, but as the apps became infiltrated with scammers and their pricing went crazy (especially Grindr) it just became not worth it.  Now appreciating the ease and reliability of hiring. 

[ShortCutie7]

1 hour ago, Act25 said:

I'm going the other way.  I was mostly using the apps for several years.  I'm in a niche segment - looking for twinks who liked their daddies.  Met some great guys and had fun, but as the apps became infiltrated with scammers and their pricing went crazy (especially Grindr) it just became not worth it.  Now appreciating the ease and reliability of hiring. 

I’m in a similar boat- I had been using the apps on-and-off for years and then deleted them for a while when I became germophobic/nosophobic.  I then dipped my toe into hiring, and when I re-downloaded the apps I was even more disappointed since I was spoiled by hiring, so deleted them again.

[+ DrownedBoy]

I go back and forth. My policy is not to pay for what I can get for free, and I'm still young looking enough to get guys I like.

Obviously, the apps attract less attractive guys than I could hire. Unfortunately, I have to put up with a lot more attitude and idiocy with Grindr, not to mention forgoing the more violent parts of my roleplaying.

I've only met one guy on Grindr who I dated for a significant time afterwards. The app has too many pure horn dogs who just want to bend me over the second I arrive and kick me out five minutes later. The gay community is doomed at this rate.

[+ PhileasFogg]

On 11/7/2025 at 4:27 PM, DrownedBoy said:

I go back and forth. My policy is not to pay for what I can get for free, and I'm still young looking enough to get guys I like.

Obviously, the apps attract less attractive guys than I could hire. Unfortunately, I have to put up with a lot more attitude and idiocy with Grindr, not to mention forgoing the more violent parts of my roleplaying.

I've only met one guy on Grindr who I dated for a significant time afterwards. The app has too many pure horn dogs who just want to bend me over the second I arrive and kick me out five minutes later. The gay community is doomed at this rate.

Isn’t pre screening the hook ups part of avoiding such harsh treatment?

[+ DrownedBoy]

1 hour ago, PhileasFogg said:

Isn’t pre screening the hook ups part of avoiding such harsh treatment?

Chat: "Oh sure I'll respect your boundaries!"

In person. "You know you want it, you tease."

[+ PhileasFogg]

10 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

Chat: "Oh sure I'll respect your boundaries!"

In person. "You know you want it, you tease."

Maybe in some cases — but the real question is what you do when that pivot happens. If someone shifts the boundary in person, you either stay or you leave. Your decision in that moment is the only “proof” that matters.

[+ DrownedBoy]

8 hours ago, PhileasFogg said:

Maybe in some cases — but the real question is what you do when that pivot happens. If someone shifts the boundary in person, you either stay or you leave. Your decision in that moment is the only “proof” that matters.

Oh I stop then. Hence the "tease" remarks, even after I make clear I don't do anal sex with random hookups.

Now Im starting to sympathize with teenage girls.

[+ sniper]

On 11/7/2025 at 5:27 PM, DrownedBoy said:

I go back and forth. My policy is not to pay for what I can get for free, and I'm still young looking enough to get guys I like.

 

But time is money. Grindr isn't free.

Edited Tuesday at 02:44 AM by sniper

[ShortCutie7]

10 minutes ago, sniper said:

But time is money. Grindr isn't free.

Exactly!  When I think of all the time I used to waste on Grindr/Scruff, I get angry at myself that I didn’t think of hiring sooner.