No Action Now That I'm Thin

[+ PhileasFogg]

8 hours ago, sniper said:

Botox just smoothes wrinkles by paralyzing muscles, won't fix sagging skin. 

True.   Honestly though, I’d rather be skinny with wrinkles vs fat.

 

After two years of a regular diet and exercise routine,  I’m within 5lbs of where I was 30 yrs ago.   I’ll get there soon.   

But as I do, my nasolabial folds (smile lines) become very distinct as in the picture above.    Although I’ve tried Botox a couple times on my brow line, I’ve done nothing about my smile lines.    Some have suggested filler  at the top of my cheek to “pull” the skin tighter, but I don’t see it being a good natural looking option for me.

Back to the OP though, I’d encourage moving from weight loss as a primary objective to building muscle tone and a little bit of bulk.   Find an EMS workout studio (like Manduu) and I’d be shocked if you didn’t see improvement in 6 months

Edited February 17 by PhileasFogg

[Gary]

Hi, OP.  I don’t post much.  

I pretty much agree with the posts above.  The main question is how rapidly should one lose weight, and how to maintain muscle mass while losing weight.  

Maintain good communication with your trainer, and at 45 y/o get an annual physical exam.

Once you stabilize at your desired fitness level, you can talk to a plastic surgeon if wrinkles and sagging skin are a problem.  The skin might naturally tighten, depending on genetics, etc.

[pubic_assistance]

14 hours ago, ApexNomad said:

What’s “skinny fat?”

Skinny-Fat Solution: The 2 Phases of a Skinny-Fat Transformation

SKINNYFATTRANSFORMATION.COM

---

Learn how to go from skinny-fat to ripped with my 2 phase training and diet system. This system focuses on...

 

[+ Lucky]

Attractiveness to others is a lot more than being skinny  or fat. Your vibe counts for a lot. Easygoing, relaxed guys are more appealing than uptight or stressed guys.

[pubic_assistance]

23 minutes ago, Lucky said:

Attractiveness to others is a lot more than being skinny  or fat.

I remember reading an article that discussed the rise of gym culture with gay men during the AIDS crisis.

While men were wasting away into skeletons, from the horrors of AIDS, other gay men were building up their bodies to display their assumed health.

All mammals sexually select healthy looking individuals. Modern social constructs, declare fat people UNhealthy, but there was a point in history when being plump was considered to be a sign of wealth and success.

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Did you lose the weight just to make getting laid easier?

If so, yeah, it's going to take a lot more toning to get noticed.  That's the bottom line in the gay world.

But, if you focus on how much healthier you are and try to feel good for doing what very few people have the compunction to do, you might not be so unhappy.

No one ever said a great body was an easy thing to achieve.  It takes YEARS and maintenance.

Think of it as a lifestyle, not just one achievement.

 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

22 hours ago, sniper said:

Botox just smoothes wrinkles by paralyzing muscles, won't fix sagging skin. 

Botox won't, agreed, but lasers and other injectables will.

That said sagging skin on the body is best handled surgically. 

[CuriousByNature]

8 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

there was a point in history when being plump was considered to be a sign of wealth and success.

 

Hey - where's that time machine to take me back to 17th century Europe, when society appreciated the Rubenesque amongst us?  Or even just a couple of years ago when Botero was still celebrating our form on canvas...

 

[Luv2play]

On 2/16/2025 at 4:18 PM, Pd1_jap said:

I lost the weight over a period of 4 months. It's not that drastic. I've also switched gyms recently so most of the guys in the new gym didn't know me from before.

Actually, losing 40 pounds over 4 months is pretty drastic. If you stop doing what you’re doing you will gain it all back, and then some. 
You didn’t say how tall you are. That also makes a difference in how you look and carry your weight. 

[Luv2play]

8 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

I remember reading an article that discussed the rise of gym culture with gay men during the AIDS crisis.

While men were wasting away into skeletons, from the horrors of AIDS, other gay men were building up their bodies to display their assumed health.

All mammals sexually select healthy looking individuals. Modern social constructs, declare fat people UNhealthy, but there was a point in history when being plump was considered to be a sign of wealth and success.

 

The point at which being fat was considered attractive went out with the 19th century. The 20th century brought in the attitude you can never be too thin or too rich.
My take is it had something to do with people in the Western world wearing slimmer and more revealing clothes after WWI. Before then fat was concealed by voluminous clothing. 
One simple example was swimming apparel. But the Roaring 20’s and the flapper generation changed everything particularly for women who started to show their legs and arms in both day and evening wear. 

[CuriousByNature]

37 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

The point at which being fat was considered attractive went out with the 19th century. The 20th century brought in the attitude you can never be too thin or too rich.
My take is it had something to do with people in the Western world wearing slimmer and more revealing clothes after WWI. Before then fat was concealed by voluminous clothing. 
One simple example was swimming apparel. But the Roaring 20’s and the flapper generation changed everything particularly for women who started to show their legs and arms in both day and evening wear. 

Except for women in the early 20th century, whose bulges were still trapped behind whalebone corsets.  Those flapper girls of the 20s were the Twiggys of their day - no apparent curves to be seen.    

[CuriousByNature]

8 hours ago, Lucky said:

Am I a daddy now? 

Without seeing a photo of you, it's pretty difficult to tell whether or not you're a Daddy....

[Nightowl]

On 2/17/2025 at 1:08 PM, Lucky said:

Attractiveness to others is a lot more than being skinny  or fat. Your vibe counts for a lot. Easygoing, relaxed guys are more appealing than uptight or stressed guys.

Good point.  Could you be unknowingly sending out the wrong vibes because of your own belief that others are disgusted?

[d.anders]

On 2/16/2025 at 7:56 AM, sniper said:

There is a huge sexual no-man's land of too skinny for the chubby chasers, too fat for the body Nazis.

This is so true.

I have learned the hard way, at a certain point in life, it's not worth thinking too much about your looks or the sex you're not getting. Good health is far more important than worrying about who is not attracted to you.

[caliguy]

Losing that much weight at a mature age will have an effect on the face hate to say and some guys the face is the only thing that gets you through the door. Not to mention the booty guys are going to be major disappointed in the new flatter ass.

I love to run but sometimes but I have to back off due to losing too much weight. Yeah, I can see my abs again (sexy) but I look like shit face wise. Gaunt and Nasolabial lines more noticeable. So yeah, balance now. 

[d.anders]

9 hours ago, caliguy said:

the face is the only thing that gets you through the door

I've always been a face guy. Boy has my face changed through the years. Thankfully, I'm OK at looking old. If only I could afford Botox.

9 hours ago, caliguy said:

Not to mention the booty guys are going to be major disappointed in the new flatter ass.

Dancing used to be a hobby. Almost every guy I've been with wanted me to bottom. The ass is gone now, however, the hole is clean, shaven and much easier to reach. I've learned to keep my skin soft, moisturized, and smelling kiss-able.

[liubit]

@caliguy makes a valid point that French popular wisdom puts as la face ou la fesse, meaning you have to choose between face and butt. Being heavy works for your face but you get a big butt, losing weight works for your butt but damages your face. 🤷🏻

Edited February 23 by liubit

[caliguy]

2 hours ago, liubit said:

@caliguy makes a valid point that French popular wisdom puts as la face ou la fesse, meaning you have to choose between the face and the butt. Being heavy works for your face but you get a big butt, losing weight works for your butt but damages your face. 🤷🏻

 

[ICTJOCK]

Well congrats for losing the weight.   I would hope you would do it for your own health,  confidence and fitness and for attention by others.

I know that positive remarks and work can help with confidence,  so I recognize the "hand in hand" approach they may take.

My suggestion is to continue the work and challenge yourself to be more outdoing with others.  Be friendly,  be supportive and you will gain more the same.   Being helpful to those who are trying to improve their heath,  is of itself,  very helpful.    I'm confident you will gain more by giving to others.    Just my thoughts.

[Pd1_jap]

Update: 

I stuck with it and lost some of the sagging fat. I hired a new trainer who's really helped me develop my chest and arms. 

I have been very popular in the last month particularly. I'm still not able to land all the muscle studs I lust after but I get a fair amount of attention. 

Starting testosterone and estrogen blockers have really helped. 

I'm still a long way from having the body I want. However, I can see the path forward now. Thanks guys for giving me your support and understanding. 

[Guest]

Congrats Pd1_jap. That's a significant accomplishment.

I've never stayed in shape for my love life. I don't know how much it matters; I do it for the other benefits.

[MscleLovr]

11 hours ago, Pd1_jap said:

I'm still not able to land all the muscle studs I lust after

 

9 hours ago, ihearttwinks said:

I've never stayed in shape for my love life.

I still recall that, some years ago, I was rejected by a handsome young man I’d taken to dinner in a good restaurant.

We both were dressed well and we had a good time with interesting conversation that flowed easily.

He was polite but in not wanting to come home and stay overnight with me, he said “You’re not fat! Daddies should be fat!”

Edited May 8 by MscleLovr

[Km411]

Congratulations @Pd1_jap; you’ll never regret being fit!  A bit off topic but I really don’t understand what the term daddies means. Age? Body type? Attitude? Some combination of these? 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

1 hour ago, Km411 said:

Congratulations @Pd1_jap; you’ll never regret being fit!  A bit off topic but I really don’t understand what the term daddies means. Age? Body type? Attitude? Some combination of these? 

If you have to ask, then you're not ready for fatherhood 😉 

I've been called Daddy since I was 31, by a young man who was 30

Edited May 8 by Vegas_Millennial

[pubic_assistance]

5 hours ago, MscleLovr said:

He was polite but in not wanting to come home and stay overnight with me, he said “You’re not fat! Daddies should be fat!”

Most likely, your companion's actual daddy is fat.

I get lots of kids with a daddy fetish chasing after me, and I am far from fat...so definitely not required.

More than likely those who actually have overweight fathers, will imprint a beer belly as desirable quality in a candidate to try and get the love they dont recieve at home.