Strictly therapeutic masseurs on gay sites - yay or nay?

[viewing ownly]

I didn't have the space to type the word "massage" in-between gay and sites, but I find it perplexing, personally. Especially with new advertisers - do they not notice the content of their competition before putting together an ad?

There are those precious few of you out there on here (and I'm sure many more who aren't on here) who would like a spa-like, completely covered, happy-ending-less experience, and seek the less than 1% who are interested in providing that kind of service. 

For me and the civilized horny male universe, I would hope for a pleasant surprise and get more out of the encounter, but have had enough massages in my lifetime to know better. A legit massage is just that. Sure, a great few might get lucky, but for most of us, they are not worth the bother to contact. And in all likelihood, they'll soon realize it's not worth advertising versus the lack of clients, and pull their ad. 

[soloyo215]

Yay for me. When I want a good massage, I have just the right providers. Also, outside of the US, there are plenty of masseurs that give you the option. They are great at both with or without the HE. It's just a matter of looking. I do like having the option if I ask for it.

[acks0104]

I mean why not? Clients get to decide what kind of massage they want and I've seen plenty of men say they were happy with a therapeutic massage. If you want something more, then you seek out something more.

[+ Jamie21]

The trouble is, clients say they just want a great therapeutic massage, but then they try to make it into a HE style during the session by either pressing their hand into my shorts, caressing my leg, or asking me to remove the towel on them and opening their legs etc….  

If you’re not paying sensual massage rates please don’t try and get a sensual or erotic style massage on the cheap…even if it’s a ‘last 5 minutes jerk off’. It’s happened too many times for me to offer that kind of massage so I stopped offering it and now do sensual/erotic only. Clients still get a great massage of course but at least the rate I’m getting reflects the content of the session. 

 

[Simon Suraci]

3 minutes ago, Jamie21 said:

The trouble is, clients say they just want a great therapeutic massage, but then they try to make it into a HE style during the session by either pressing their hand into my shorts, caressing my leg, or asking me to remove the towel on them and opening their legs etc….  

If you’re not paying sensual massage rates please don’t try and get a sensual or erotic style massage on the cheap…even if it’s a ‘last 5 minutes jerk off’. It’s happened too many times for me to offer that kind of massage so I stopped offering it and now do sensual/erotic only. Clients still get a great massage of course but at least the rate I’m getting reflects the content of the session. 

 

Same here Jamie, same here. I did therapeutic only for lower rates once upon a time but for exactly this reason I raised my rates and stopped offering therapeutic only massages. A few clients may respect the boundaries of a therapeutic massage once in a while. The vast majority don’t. We’re responding to the reality of our local markets by offering a valuable service our clients truly want for an appropriate fee.

On the flip side….

Last night I did a hotel outcall. As I set up the table, I stripped down naked as I usually do and the client asked me to put my underwear back on. He insisted that he cover his butt crack with a small hand towel and asked me to start off therapeutic only and move to more sensual work later on (which is what I do anyway). I figured out in due course that he loves sensual and erotic touch, but his cock is so extremely sensitive that even the slightest touch near it will make him cum prematurely. I took note and proceeded accordingly.

After delivering some high quality deep tissue full body therapy, I gave him one of the most erotic, mind blowing happy endings ever - without ever touching his cock…until after he reached the point of no return and then I jerked him nicely into an extended full-body orgasm. Hot.

Now I know why he was less eager to indulge his erotic feelings. Almost certainly he gets massages from other men that end up getting him off way too soon, in an unfulfilling way, and the therapeutic massage is either so-so to begin with, or declines in quality after the client orgasms.

Sometimes the client really wants emphasis on therapeutic, or strictly therapeutic. They are exceptions proving the rule.

[+ Jamie21]

That’s how I do it with virtually every massage if given the option to do so by my client. I don’t start naked, they start with a towel on. It begins just like a therapeutic only massage. For example if it’s a two hour session (the best duration to do a proper job) the towel is still on him after 30 minutes, I’m still fully in shorts and top, no oil has been applied, no touch has been made to his bum or cock or anywhere near and we’re already 25% of the way through the session…..that might sound like nothing erotic has happened but that’s such a misunderstanding of the situation! There’s all sorts of cues and hints one can do to build the sexual tension 😉. Everything has happened…in his head because I’ve put it there. 

This, in my view is the best kind of session because I focus my attention on his biggest sex organ, his mind… and there’s so so much one can do there. Most guys might have had what I call a rub and tug style ‘sensual’ massage. It’s an average therapeutic massage with a jerk off. I think the majority of providers advertising do that kind of session. It’s like fast food, briefly satisfying and can serve a purpose. Sometimes clients want just that, a quick massage or even to climax in the first 10 minutes and then relax into a nice therapeutic style massage. I do those kind of ‘happy start’ sessions for a few guys who just can’t wait and can only relax once they’ve cum.

However when clients experience a proper sensual massage over 2 hours, where the masseur works their body and their mind…well that’s gourmet and after that they don’t want to go back to fast food. 

[Martin M]

This conversation between masseurs is very hot to follow. Is there a part of this forum dedicated to hot stories by the masseurs who are part of the forum? I'd love to keep on reading their sexiest experiences @Jamie21 @Simon Suraci, can u spread the word among your colleagues? Hot stuff.

[+ Jamie21]

Thanks @Martin M I’ve got some stories about my experiences on my blog on my website sensualtouchco.com. When I stop doing the work I’m going to write a book. 

[ShortCutie7]

I mean, if a 100% straight guy is hot and willing to give a massage in his underwear without it going into sensual territory, why not advertise on a gay site (as long as he makes his boundaries clear)?

[soloyo215]

5 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

The trouble is, clients say they just want a great therapeutic massage, but then they try to make it into a HE style during the session by either pressing their hand into my shorts, caressing my leg, or asking me to remove the towel on them and opening their legs etc….  

If you’re not paying sensual massage rates please don’t try and get a sensual or erotic style massage on the cheap…even if it’s a ‘last 5 minutes jerk off’. It’s happened too many times for me to offer that kind of massage so I stopped offering it and now do sensual/erotic only. Clients still get a great massage of course but at least the rate I’m getting reflects the content of the session. 

 

When I started getting massages, I didn't know much about how this is supposed to be communicated and/or negotiated, so I didn't mention HE, sensual or erotic to the provider. However, some providers offered it. My first one started rubbing my penis and asked "Is this the type of massage you're looking for?" I politely said no (not to make him feel bad), but he did offer. Same with others, even when they are sensual, some try to upsale. In other instances when I have wanted more, I have communicated it and asked how much for more during the massage, not before, but with the understanding that more services imply more pay. I say that I understand it costs more. That's how I solve the issue of little clarity.

I do know that there are one or two people who want to pay massage prices for escort services. They shouldn't do that, but in my case, in the beginning I didn't know much about any of this, so it's not always that we're all trying to get more for less. I did learn fast.

Edited December 7, 2024 by soloyo215

[Ali Gator]

WOW ! I'm getting confused myself now with this thread on what clients are looking for in sensual vs. erotic. I don't want to craw through older threads on the forum, so my quick question is - what is expected between both the masseur and client for each ?

I always thought that if I wanted a massage where both of us are nude, I can touch him (upper legs, abdomen, chest, dick, ass) and get a 'happy ending' by him, then I need to book 'erotic'.  So on this list, what is not included in 'sensual' ?

Thanks for replies in advance. 

 

[viewing ownly]

38 minutes ago, Ali Gator said:

WOW ! I'm getting confused myself now with this thread on what clients are looking for in sensual vs. erotic. I don't want to craw through older threads on the forum, so my quick question is - what is expected between both the masseur and client for each ?

I always thought that if I wanted a massage where both of us are nude, I can touch him (upper legs, abdomen, chest, dick, ass) and get a 'happy ending' by him, then I need to book 'erotic'.  So on this list, what is not included in 'sensual' ?

Thanks for replies in advance. 

 

The debate is endless as to the difference between sensual and erotic massage, but there's no denying that in a therapeutic one, there are next to no blurred lines. For some, massaging the butt is sensual. To most, unless a tongue or finger is going inside, massaging the rear end still classifies as therapeutic.

I'm happy that Simon and Jamie are chiming in here (and all others, too) - it's good to know where you're both coming from as providers. 

 

[Simon Suraci]

1 hour ago, ShortCutie7 said:

I mean, if a 100% straight guy is hot and willing to give a massage in his underwear without it going into sensual territory, why not advertise on a gay site (as long as he makes his boundaries clear)?

Because clients do not respect boundaries.

Many of you here  feel like you would never cross a masseur’s boundaries. Great. In real life that’s not what actually happens. That’s one of the primary reasons I started escorting. Putting a price on sexual activities was a more effective boundary than simply saying ‘no’. I lost fewer clients that way and I made equitable pay for the percentage of clients that truly value my services enough to pay fair rates for them.

54 minutes ago, Ali Gator said:

what is expected between both the masseur and client for each ?

The answer in the old threads is the same then as it is now: it varies widely by masseur. No standard exists. The only way to answer this question is to ask your masseur directly. Use specific language when you ask like, “Is mutual touch ok?” “Will you be nude?”, “Is a happy ending included?”, “Will you do X, Y, or Z?”. NOT vague or open ended questions like: “What is included with your massage?”

For those uncomfortable with asking specific questions, hire him and find out.

[Ali Gator]

I've hired some very hot men for erotic massages over the years, at rather affordable prices (meaning they weren't charging 'escort' prices for erotic massage). Handsome, sexy guys with unbelievable bodies. I always like to make light conversation with my providers, and after complimenting their looks and skills, usually ask if any guys only hire them for 'therapeutic'.  Many of them say yes - there is a percentage of guys who only want therapeutic, they don't want either to be nude, are not interested in mutual touch and don't want release. I can't believe some clients have such restraint with a handsome muscle guy working on them, and available to offer just about anything at all. (When I say this out loud, the masseur usually chuckles and says, 'YOU can't believe it ? How do you think I feel ?').  Some have confessed the guy on their table is hot as well, and would love for them to allow more inter-action in the appointment. 

[Monarchy79]

Big NAY.

If a provider is strictly therapeutic, then be on a general site (or create your own site), that generally confirms that the services are therapeutic only. 

But to be on a site like MasseurFinder, be scantily clothed, with pictures that allude to everything  EXCEPT for therapeutic massage is intentionally misleading. 
 

[Monarchy79]

Here’s another issue..

A lot of guys who are on  gay sites and offer only therapeutic massage, just aren’t that good at it. If they were, they wouldn’t be on those site to net clients because they wouldn’t have to. They’d be right on MASSAGEfinder, with their shirts on. 

My favorite therapeutic massage therapist is gay, has a major gay following, advertises independently, and doesn’t go near the gay sites. His clients respect his work, because he’s just that good. 

The hard truth in the massage business is that it has a lot of hustlers. Many of them are hot guys who want the cash, don’t have the skills to give a really good massage, but don’t want to escort either… so they find this “sweet spot” of innuendo, mixed with labeling themselves as therapeutic. What their clients usually end up with are false hopes + muddled expectations + a set of blue balls, which = Getting Snookered. 
 

[+ ThroatCummer]

@Simon Suraci and @Jamie21 

Can I be honest here for a sec with you two?  I have a ton of experience with escorts (hell, my partner is an escort!) and you probably have seen my posts around here. But I have never in my life had a genuine massage. I think it is a personal space issue but I am literally dying for one and don't know how to pick the correct provider.  Sure, I want the hottest guy in the world doing it (based on my type), I'm worried that using that criteria I will wind up with someone inexperienced or just an escort who does "massages" but doesn't know what they're doing.  

For example, this guy is smoking hot in my book and in NYC.  https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/45430/ -- but I am hesitant because, well I don't know.  I almost feel like it's the same with getting head -- I have found that some of the most unattractive guys give the best fucking head in the world and many hot guys can't suck a dick to save their lives. So with a masseur, it's almost like maybe I don't want someone hot because they aren't good at the actual massage, you know?

Based on your replies above and the replies I have seen from you both over the years here on this forum, I would hire either of you in an instant.  First, either of you in NYC? Second, if not, how do I genuinely find someone like you.  To be honest, I don't even know how I want the massage to "end" -- I really just want a good massage for my first time ever and the rest is just gravy if/when it happens.  Does that make sense? 

Help me. 

Edited December 7, 2024 by ThroatCummer

[+ Jamie21]

I’m in London. Visit London. 

[Simon Suraci]

1 hour ago, Monarchy79 said:

But to be on a site like MasseurFinder, be scantily clothed, with pictures that allude to everything  EXCEPT for therapeutic massage is intentionally misleading. 

MasseurFinder is VERY strict about the quantity, format, and content of photos you can post. Here is a link to the MF guidelines: 

MasseurFinder Photo Guidelines

Your comment is 100% applicable to RentMasseur, but it’s a more happy ending massage / escort oriented site. It’s a mixed crowd on RentMasseur; lots of duds (not dudes but DUDS) who don’t know what they are doing and want to simply advertise their bodies for sale, with or without a massage ‘scenario’. I say scenario because it may as well be a porn massage, which is nothing like a real life skilled massage.

The thing is: a percentage of the client pool wants exactly what these guys are offering and don’t care about getting a decent massage. Some of us are skilled and professional, but it’s not always easy to tell. Thank you CoM for providing a platform for clients to hash out the differences and elucidate who the best providers are for various needs.

The other percentage of the client pool cares a lot about getting skilled therapy, but among those, 99% of them still hire heavily based on looks. It’s a market issue, not an advertiser issue. The men advertising are offering exactly the range of what clients are demanding! You are the market. If y’all want gay sites catering specifically to therapeutic only, demand something different. MasseurFinder is the best one for therapeutic only. Admittedly I advertise there and still offer a full range from therapeutic draped, clothed etc to full on escort services. I am probably an outlier in that respect. MF is the most crazy expensive to advertise on and I get the fewest clients from it 🤷‍♂️ 

[+ ThroatCummer]

6 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

MasseurFinder etc,,,,....................................................

That is all really good to know. Thank you. Very helpful. 

[Simon Suraci]

1 hour ago, ThroatCummer said:

how do I genuinely find someone like you.

We represent a minority of masseurs who take their jobs very seriously, do it professionally, and genuinely love what we do. It’s difficult to find men offering skilled massages. I’d say maybe 10% or less of the men in any given city are worth seeing, looks aside. That leaves a lot of room for error hiring guys proving to be a waste of time.

I’ll follow up with some pointers to help lead you to the better guys. For starters:

CoM is one of the best places to vet potential hires. Clients here are more real and honest about their experiences. Anyone interested in my opinion on a given masseur, feel free to reach out privately and I’ll give my two cents. The forums are a wealth of client knowledge and experience.

I’m based in San Diego and visit various US cities throughout the year. I’m considering a NYC trip at some point. I’ve amassed quite a list of interested contacts. It’s not a matter of demand for me, more a logistical and economic problem to solve. Eventually I will visit.

[+ ThroatCummer]

55 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

 I’m considering a NYC trip at some point. I’ve amassed quite a list of interested contacts. It’s not a matter of demand for me, more a logistical and economic problem to solve. Eventually I will visit.

Like I said before, my partner is an escort who travels. He is in SF right now while I write this for about 7 days. I understand managing bookings while fronting the hotel/expenses/food/etc. and not knowing what the net out will be at the end of a trip. It is a roll of the dice unless you have years long established clients in X or Y city. So yes, totally get it.  I'd love it if you made it to NYC though at some point. I'd book and even pre-pay just solely based on your writing here. That's how much respect and earned credit you get for doing this. 

[Simon Suraci]

⚠️Warning: this is long.

Here are a few hot tips for finding skilled masseurs, who may (or may NOT) also happen to offer sensual, erotic, or escort services.

1) Start with referrals from people who have seen men they like and trust to deliver quality massage services. I refer my new and existing clients to other good masseurs when I can’t see them for some reason like a schedule conflict. If the masseur you’re reaching out to is unavailable, don’t be afraid to ask him for a referral. Be patient. The best guys are popular and are worth waiting for and scheduling around.

2) Leverage CoM. Gather as much info as possible on masseurs you’re interested in. When none exists, post a new thread. Ask specific questions:

Opinions i.e. Is he good? Rate his massage
Facts i.e. does he use a professional table?

A client here may hesitate on writing an opinion on the masseur’s work overall, but it’s easy to answer a yes/no question like does he use a table? Or was his space clean?

3) Read his ad. No, really. Do it. Actually read the entire ad. Does he have a business website or links to socials? Does he advertise elsewhere? Review those. So many clients view the photos and go straight to clicking the contact button, never bothering to reference the rest of the info the masseur has already provided.

4) Evaluate:

Does the masseur provide enough information to give you a good idea of what to expect? Or is it a short, cryptic blurb? More information is a good sign.

From there, glean as much as you can pertaining to the rest of these points.

5) Does he have formal training, such as a license or certification required in his home jurisdiction? Education is not everything. Plenty of bad masseurs have formal training, and plenty of good masseurs have informal or no training. In general, more of the good ones have professional training and list their documentation on their ads. Keep in mind, many gay masseurs use an alias for legitimate safety reasons, so they may not be willing to present their documentation listing their full legal name. It just depends if they work in spas or practice privately. 

6) What are his jobs? Is he a full time masseur, or is this just a side gig? Is he a porn star or a fan site content creator? How much of his time does he spend doing those vs massage? Knowing these answers gives you a general sense of his availability and priorities. Is he likely to flake on you because he is a popular performer filming a last minute shoot? Or is it reasonable for you to request a massage at 2pm on a Tuesday knowing he works 8-5 M-F? Check whatever schedule he lists on his ads and respect it.

The full time masseur guys are more likely to be good at their work. There are exceptions. For a time, I only worked my massage business on nights and weekends, but then demand overtook my schedule and it didn’t make sense for me to have two jobs anymore.

7) How much experience does he have? Years? Months? Is that full time, or part time? 5+ years of experience is a good sign. That means a guy taking two years out of high school to get certified at 20 years old will be at LEAST 25 years old by the time you see him. Younger guys can be good, but you’re more likely to get a guy who knows what he’s doing in his late 20s to early 30s and beyond. Some start their massage careers later, so it’s not purely about age. Experience matters.

8)That leads me to my next point. Stop hiring based on LOOKS. Get a list of good providers together and compare them based on SKILLS. Then once you narrow your list, you can consider looks. You can’t reasonably compare the hot muscled 22 year old shirtless guy having no experience and mixed reviews with the 50 year old out of shape guy with a shirt on, tons of experience, and a great track record. It’s apples and oranges. I completely understand the desire to have a hot (often younger) guy touching you for an hour or more, and your desire to perhaps touch him too. However, you can’t reasonably expect every hot guy to be good at massages. He knows he’s hot and he’s using that against you. Prioritize skills over looks. Consider looks AFTER you have a shortlist of skilled providers. Your body and mind will thank you.

9) Professionalism. Find what you can to indicate his level of professionalism. How does he communicate? Is he consistent and reliable? Is he reasonable? Does he get back to you promptly or within a reasonable period? Does he have boundaries and stick to them? Does he lay out his rates and services clearly? Does he use an automatic booking system like Square or Booksy? The pros use these types of systems. It also indicates he is organized.

10) Rates. Is he charging appropriate rates for your market? Exorbitant rates indicate escort services thinly veiled as ‘massage’, or scams where the masseur is hot but provides neither a skilled massage nor escort services.

11) Do you like the guy as a person? Find what you can about him online and see if you would click as human beings. Do you respect him? If he has an interview, read it. 

12) Reviews. This one is tricky. TRY to look past the vague descriptions and overexcited OPINIONS and look for FACTS. Clues in the reviews tell you how easy he is to communicate with, what equipment he uses, techniques he employs, massage styles he’s trained in, his general knowledge base, and how he delivers his services. Some clients post specific issues in their body the masseur addressed successfully, which is a good sign. The better impression you get on all these points, the more promising he is.

13) See where he advertises. MasseurFinder is no guarantee he will be professional or skilled, but chances are he will be. He may share more on one platform than another. For example, MasseurFinder uses algorithms to screen out even a hint of sexual content providers try to include. On RentMasseur, he may show a full frontal photo with an erection, indicating exactly what is on offer. This is not necessarily a red flag, but it is bad when there is nothing else in his ads to indicate he has experience offering professional massage services. Are the only photos he posts designed primarily to show off his body or suggest sex acts? Or does he present himself as someone capable of giving a quality massage?

14) Why does he do this work? Does he love it and find fulfillment in it? Does he actually care about his clients? If you know the answers form his ads, that’s promising.

15) This is controversial, but I’ll say it anyway. Try straight providers. Not “straight” providers advertising on gay sites. I mean mainstream massage therapists who see all genders. I know a great one in my office building. He drapes and stays clothed and he’s licensed. He’s married (to a woman) with kids. He’s EXCELLENT. Among the best. I don’t have any thoughts or anxieties about getting aroused or “getting my money’s worth” in terms of sexual interaction with him. He’s cute, but I know nothing is going to happen and that’s a relief in some ways because I know what to expect and I can relax and fully enjoy a high quality massage without any agenda on his end or mine. His rates are very reasonable, and his skill level is top notch.

Getting a few of these legit massages will help some of you learn how to be more objective about selecting and evaluating good masseurs advertising on gay sites. When you have had excellent work before, you know what to look for and it helps you get better at picking the good ones, and recognizing when you’ve found a gem.

[Simon Suraci]

1 hour ago, ThroatCummer said:

I'd book and even pre-pay just solely based on your writing here. That's how much respect and earned credit you get for doing this. 

I appreciate you, @ThroatCummer. I wouldn’t charge or accept payment ahead. I don’t have to do this type of thing to be successful. Most of my CoM clients I trust implicitly. You guys, by and large, are gems. Thank you for the sentiment.

[BuffaloKyle]

6 minutes ago, Simon Suraci said:

8)That leads me to my next point. Stop hiring based on LOOKS. Get a list of good providers together and compare them based on SKILLS. Then once you narrow your list, you can consider looks. You can’t reasonably compare the hot muscled 22 year old shirtless guy having no experience and mixed reviews with the 50 year old out of shape guy with a shirt on, tons of experience, and a great track record. It’s apples and oranges. I completely understand the desire to have a hot (often younger) guy touching you for an hour or more, and your desire to perhaps touch him too. However, you can’t reasonably expect every hot guy to be good at massages. He knows he’s hot and he’s using that against you. Prioritize skills over looks. Consider looks AFTER you have a shortlist of skilled providers. Your body and mind will thank you.

So basically you're telling us @Simon Suraci to hire the 50 year old out of shape guy and not the young adonis hunk that you are 🥵