"Pay me what you think is fair"

[tbuzzsaw]

I'm sure some of you have gotten this response at the end of a session before. Sometimes it's because the session went over the time, the provider might have added extras without asking, or maybe they like you and don't want to charge the full amount.

 

To clients, how have you responded to this and what did you pay? To providers, what's your reasoning to say this and what do you actually expect? I always feel it's an awkward position to be put in and I just still pay the full expected amount. 

[+ nycman]

I say, "OK, here’s $1…..(start walking away)……(turn)…..now tell me how much you want".

No one has had a problem quickly coming up with a fair figure after that.

[TruthBTold]

When you hire a provider you should always know what he charges per hour.  If your session goes over the amount of time discussed then as a base fee give the discussed fee plus a fraction of the base fee.  I think you should ever think a provider wants to give you a gift by not charging you.  If he does not want to charge you the entire amount, he will tell you so.  Then you can always give he a tip based on the final amount.  If you think the final amount is less than you had originally agreed upon, give a tip more or less based on that.  

[pubic_assistance]

49 minutes ago, tbuzzsaw said:

maybe they like you and don't want to charge the full amount.

Maybe they'll like you more if you do pay the full amount.

It's a business arrangement.

Never lose sight of that.

I never accept "favors" from providers without showing complete gratitude with a generous compensation.

For example if a massage moves into escort territory without me specifically asking, then I would pay their full escort fee or approximate what that would be based on the massage fee

[Guest Casual]

I had a failed business as a result of this pay policy.  I thought I was being nice but then too many people underpaid.  It would have been better if I had charged more (assertively) and been able to continue to provide the service they needed.  

[+ DrownedBoy]

4 hours ago, nycman said:

I say, "OK, here’s $1…..(start walking away)……(turn)…..now tell me how much you want".

No one has had a problem quickly coming up with a fair figure after that.

That's the answer, for any such haggling situation. Offer them a lowball amount and then ask for a counter suggestion.

[mike carey]

I agree with the general tenor of the replies so far, but I think to some extent it can be context dependent. If it's a new provider, certainly 'you tell me', but if you have an established relationship and the situation is out of the ordinary and unexpected, then you might take it as a reasonable question and make a reasonable suggestion but it might turn out to have been an unintended test if your answer is risible, or the provider had a preconceived idea that your offer didn't meet. Perhaps making something of a joke of a response such as @nycman's suggestion could be the best approach.

[+ APPLE1]

13 hours ago, TruthBTold said:

When you hire a provider you should always know what he charges per hour.  If your session goes over the amount of time discussed then as a base fee give the discussed fee plus a fraction of the base fee.  I think you should ever think a provider wants to give you a gift by not charging you.  If he does not want to charge you the entire amount, he will tell you so.  Then you can always give he a tip based on the final amount.  If you think the final amount is less than you had originally agreed upon, give a tip more or less based on that.  

I would NEVER pay more for a session that ran over. It could be the start of a very slippery and ugly slope of rewarding bad behavior.

I see the provider as the keeper of the time clock, and I don't TYPICALLY want them to go over time. I don't want a provider thinking they can just fill their big gap in between clients with me. I may have things to do after the appointment. They may be new, and I am already thinking they aren't repeat quality. They may be a regular, and I already know their skill level and if they are worth 60 min, 90 min, 120 min etc.

[soloyo215]

16 hours ago, tbuzzsaw said:

I'm sure some of you have gotten this response at the end of a session before. Sometimes it's because the session went over the time, the provider might have added extras without asking, or maybe they like you and don't want to charge the full amount.

 

To clients, how have you responded to this and what did you pay? To providers, what's your reasoning to say this and what do you actually expect? I always feel it's an awkward position to be put in and I just still pay the full expected amount. 

Not a great practice. Seems prone to an unsavory end. I have not encountered that, but I almost always tip. Not sure what I'd do, but I do like the idea of pushing it back at him and have him give a number. His unasked-for extras, his issue to deal with.

[Whippoorwill]

When I lived in the Middle East, "Pay me whatever you want"  was a common practice, whether you were buying shoes or ---. There, I think it came out of the typical practice of bargaining for everything. Most westerners may not know it, but bargaining only works if both the seller and the buyer know the "correct" price, and are going through this dance to get a little more money or pay a little less money. But only a little. Trying to really underpay is a huge insult and really overpaying, you are taken for a fool. Here in the US I have had people (often originating from a culture where bargaining is common) say "Pay me whatever you want". If it happens before the service takes place, I just walk away. Its a formula for bad feelings all around. 

For bodyworker services, I have only had one instance where he provided more extra services than I asked for or wanted. As I was counting out the agreed on fee, he started to ask for extra, just as I was taking the extra out of my wallet. He saw that I was doing it without asking, and smiled. I crossed him off my list and never went back. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Anyone who says this at the end of a session has zero clue what they're doing. 

These guys won't be in business for long. 

[+ Axiom2001]

My response does not address the topic in its entirety, but I thought I'd share anyway.

A few years back, I was with a popular escort, who shall go nameless.  I'd seen him on two previous occasions prior to my going to him the third time.  The set time for play was 2 hrs.  Well, we played, and at the conclusion I gave him his requested fee of $400 for 2 hrs.  Upon his leaving, he gave the fee back to me and said: "Happy Birthday."

Later he relayed that he had not satisfied my desired needs previously and was making up for it.  I was pleased yet bothered.

This man still escorts today and has a sizable and notable following; he's on both my FB and X accounts and posts regularly.  Last night I went to my JJFs and watched one of his most recent vids.  DAMN, it was "the hottest" of all that he'd posted throughout these past three years.  I think he received "THE BEST FUCK" in his life as revealed in that particular vid.

REMEMBER, I AM WITHHOLDING HIS NAME out of my utmost respect for his privacy.  So fellas, please do NOT send me a private message

[+ APPLE1]

11 hours ago, Axiom2001 said:

My response does not address the topic in its entirety, but I thought I'd share anyway.

A few years back, I was with a popular escort, who shall go nameless.  I'd seen him on two previous occasions prior to my going to him the third time.  The set time for play was 2 hrs.  Well, we played, and at the conclusion I gave him his requested fee of $400 for 2 hrs.  Upon his leaving, he gave the fee back to me and said: "Happy Birthday."

Later he relayed that he had not satisfied my desired needs previously and was making up for it.  I was pleased yet bothered.

This man still escorts today and has a sizable and notable following; he's on both my FB and X accounts and posts regularly.  Last night I went to my JJFs and watched one of his most recent vids.  DAMN, it was "the hottest" of all that he'd posted throughout these past three years.  I think he received "THE BEST FUCK" in his life as revealed in that particular vid.

REMEMBER, I AM WITHHOLDING HIS NAME out of my utmost respect for his privacy.  So fellas, please do NOT send me a private message

I am curious to understand why this bothered you? Can you  elaborate?

[Archangel]

I hate this line.

[Archangel]

On 7/19/2024 at 5:08 AM, APPLE1 said:

I would NEVER pay more for a session that ran over. It could be the start of a very slippery and ugly slope of rewarding bad behavior.

I see the provider as the keeper of the time clock, and I don't TYPICALLY want them to go over time. I don't want a provider thinking they can just fill their big gap in between clients with me. I may have things to do after the appointment. They may be new, and I am already thinking they aren't repeat quality. They may be a regular, and I already know their skill level and if they are worth 60 min, 90 min, 120 min etc.

Along those same lines…

I don’t see a tip as a sine non qua. Sometimes I tip. Sometimes I don’t. The agreed amount and time are what is expected. Any more I give is a tip. Any more he gives is bonus. It’s pretty simple. For what it’s worth, I hire for multiple-day BFEs and pay for outings and so forth. And I often get him things for us to enjoy together that he can add to his cache of goodies to use with other clients. So I don’t feel the need to feel guilty about him doing more and me not tipping. 

[wanderlust307]

Let me make sure I understand. What you are saying is a menu beyond the usual hourly/daily rate. You suggest a price list: Bj 100, kissing + 100, fucking +200. This is appalling. Degrading for both escort and client. We are humans not pieces of meet.

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, wanderlust307 said:

Let me make sure I understand. What you are saying is a menu beyond the usual hourly/daily rate. You suggest a price list: Bj 100, kissing + 100, fucking +200. This is appalling. Degrading for both escort and client. We are humans not pieces of meet.

I've seen plenty of escorts who literally post this menu.

Why is this "degrading" ?

Silly - yes. Degrading ? dunno.

I think sex for sale is an interesting construct that lies outside the usual standards of human interaction. So not sure applying any sort of moral indignation about how people choose to interact through the business portion is pointless. Always treat your provider with respect, but how you conduct business with them is really up to an individual business model.  I think self-service at Walmart is disgusting but lots of people seem to shop there. To each/ his own.

 

[+ APPLE1]

13 hours ago, wanderlust307 said:

We are humans not pieces of meet.

EXACTLY!!!

We are individuals with varied likes and dislikes. Why engage in, and pay for, the fru fru of kissing and BJ's, when all I really desire is the fuck!

In every business transaction, there are customers who welcome the a la carte and ones who welcome the package deal.

[wanderlust307]

4 minutes ago, APPLE1 said:

EXACTLY!!!

We are individuals with varied likes and dislikes. Why engage in, and pay for, the fru fru of kissing and BJ's, when all I really desire is the fuck!

In every business transaction, there are customers who welcome the a la carte and ones who welcome the package deal.

I find it demeaning and repulsive. And for what? to spare a few dollars?

I only engage in relaxed multi hour all-inclusive appointments.

[wanderlust307]

Anyway back to the original question, I have never been asked "pay me what is fair" but I still remember a guy on Grindr who sent me his model portfolio and asked "how much would you pay for me?" 😅

[+ APPLE1]

22 minutes ago, wanderlust307 said:

all-inclusive appointments.

Really??? "All-inclusive??? " If I counted correctly, RM has 23 "into's." I am going to go out on a limb and assume that your sessions don't include all 23 of those activities, and if you contacted a provider and requested all 23 of those activities in your appointment, it would likely be a higher price.

I feel like your mindset is the ol' "my sex life is completely normal, so anyone doing more, or less, is weird, repulsive, and kinky."

Edited July 23, 2024 by APPLE1

[wanderlust307]

50 minutes ago, APPLE1 said:

Really??? "All-inclusive??? " If I counted correctly, RM has 23 "into's." I am going to go out on a limb and assume that your sessions don't include all 23 of those activities, and if you contacted a provider and requested all 23 of those activities in your appointment, it would likely be a higher price.

I feel like your mindset is the ol' "my sex life is completely normal, so anyone doing more, or less, is weird, repulsive, and kinky."

whatever you say... 

[+ Jamie21]

23 activities! I feel like some clients would have a clip board and tick each one off as it was completed to ensure they got value:

At the end… me “how would you like to pay, it’s £735.23”.

Client “oh…I didn’t get the rimming”.

Me “ah ok I’ll deduct £40”.

Client “and the cum in mouth was a little short on volume”.

Me “well you had the breeding so…”.

Client “ah…I thought you faked that”

Me “ok let’s just say pay what you think it was worth”

No, complicated menu options are not something I like to do. The price is agreed before the session and so are the limits. If it goes beyond the pre agreed limits that’s on me. 

[+ ThroatCummer]

On 7/19/2024 at 5:57 PM, Axiom2001 said:

Upon his leaving, he gave the fee back to me and said: "Happy Birthday."

In the right context and situations that can be considered good business. 

Businesses give away free stuff all the time to retain established customers when they know they have a great product and want to keep someone coming back for more.  This was the third time, so it may be a little early for that.  In general, I would expect an escort might do this on the 10th meeting or something where the hiring was very established over the course of a year or more. But hey, he had his reasons for doing that and I don't think you should have been bothered at all. Someone who runs a business and provides a product/service gave you something for free. Accept humbly and keep engaging them because they showed you who they are -- and that's kind of cool.  Just never EXPECT IT. 

[Rod Hagen]

On 7/18/2024 at 12:52 PM, nycman said:

I say, "OK, here’s $1…..(start walking away)……(turn)…..now tell me how much you want".

No one has had a problem quickly coming up with a fair figure after that.

Were the escort Dick Cavett (can you imagine?), he would respond, "Why don't you keep your dollar and then 'why don't you fold it five ways and put it where the moon don't shine'"

Edited July 23, 2024 by Rod Hagen