EXPUNGED?!?

[robberbaron4u]

In the course of the weekend, I had the company of a now "mature" escort with whom I have a long acquaintance. In the course of his life, he had two "LTR", one as a lover, the other as "husband", with two older gentlemen of some means, both prominent in their professions. To be sure, the "prime directive" in his life is "Everything is for sale", and, being in a LTR did preclude him from being "available" to generous "patrons"; between relationships, finding himself in financial distress, he was a full-time "provider" with a rentboy.com ad. At this point in life, he finds that his former significant others" are being celebrated, in print, for their professional accomplishments, but, he, himself, has been expunged from any mention. Now that he has money by reason of the demise of his husband, he wants to employ a publicist to "get his name out there" to the end of being afforded that which he considers his just due in being the "man behind the man". He is, of course, a textbook sociopath with the complication of malignant narcisism, and, going into his sixth decade, his physical beauty is a faded memory, and, whilst he once commanded high fees in having the pleasure of his company, there is the humiliation that he, himself, now has to "pay for it". I have advised him that this would be an ill-considered undertaking. What say you?

[+ FrankR]

Gosh! It is interesting how times have changed. In the 60s it was fashionable to be in the lime light (think Rat Pack), then the 80s came around and everyone wanted to stay off the front page of the National Inquirer. Then in the 2000s it became fashionable again and was super charged by everyone from Martha Stewart to Shawn Mendes (yum! btw) wanting to be social media personalities. 

I would much rather be the power behind the throne than the poor sod on the throne. My advice would be: forget about what people think, 5 minutes of fame isnt worth it - live your life while you are strong and healthy. 

Edited July 16, 2024 by FrankR

[viewing ownly]

This reads as highly convoluted, even re-reading. What I can't figure out is what difference would it make what this guy does with you? Is his dream of being known interfering with your relationship somehow? If he has the finances for a publicist, and his good looks are behind him and in your opinion should now be a hirer instead of a hiree, so what? That say me. 

Im an expungee myself. I had a highly successful father and was his early in life "mistake", so he wasn't truthful about how many kids he really had in print bios. 

[robberbaron4u]

29 minutes ago, viewing ownly said:

This reads as highly convoluted, even re-reading. What I can't figure out is what difference would it make what this guy does with you? Is his dream of being known interfering with your relationship somehow? If he has the finances for a publicist, and his good looks are behind him and in your opinion should now be a hirer instead of a hiree, so what? That say me. 

Im an expungee myself. I had a highly successful father and was his early in life "mistake", so he wasn't truthful about how many kids he really had in print bios. 

For the purpose of "clarification and amplification", the person of reference and I have no "relationship" other than that I offer a "sympathetic ear" from time to time. His "plight", if you will, being that he is "ignored" in the celebration of the lives of the two "significant others' in his life, and, too, that, he is no longer young and beautiful and desirable.

[+ Charlie]

I suppose it is natural, if you have nothing else going for you, to want to be remembered as somehow important for having had an intimate relationship with someone who was remembered as important in some way. If he can't still sell his body any longer, he can at least sell his story.

[maninsoma]

I don't get it.  Unless one is actually part of the brains or creativity behind someone successful, I don't think it matters to the public at large that so-and-so was someone's wife, husband, undercover lover, or whatever.  If I understand this situation, the guy was basically a kept boy for two successful men who are now dead and he now wants to capitalize on his connection to those men?  If that's what this guy's "plight" is, he should just consider himself lucky for what he had and accept where he is in the present.  Even the hottest guys age -- some retain significant sex appeal until they die, but even then there's no comparing Paul Newman at age 80 and Paul Newman at age 30, for example.

[Luv2play]

10 hours ago, robberbaron4u said:

For the purpose of "clarification and amplification", the person of reference and I have no "relationship" other than that I offer a "sympathetic ear" from time to time. His "plight", if you will, being that he is "ignored" in the celebration of the lives of the two "significant others' in his life, and, too, that, he is no longer young and beautiful and desirable.

This has happened to famous straight couples that I can think of; for instance Paul Newman was married to a woman for several years and then divorced her for Joanne Woodward. The former was largely expunged from Paul’s later successful career and life.
 

Nobody talked about or wrote about her. She never tried to hog the limelight as I recall. Your friend shouldn’t either. Just move on  with his life. It’s much more dignified. 

[robberbaron4u]

25 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

This has happened to famous straight couples that I can think of; for instance Paul Newman was married to a woman for several years and then divorced her for Joanne Woodward. The former was largely expunged from Paul’s later successful career and life.
 

Nobody talked about or wrote about her. She never tried to hog the limelight as I recall. Your friend shouldn’t either. Just move on  with his life. It’s much more dignified. 

And there. succinctly stated, you have it. . .move on.  And be grateful that by your association with these men, you have the wherewithall to "living the dream" with money in the bank. . 

[rvwnsd]

14 hours ago, robberbaron4u said:

...At this point in life, he finds that his former significant others" are being celebrated, in print, for their professional accomplishments, but, he, himself, has been expunged from any mention. Now that he has money by reason of the demise of his husband, he wants to employ a publicist to "get his name out there" to the end of being afforded that which he considers his just due in being the "man behind the man". ...What say you?

I say he would be wasting his money on a publicist. He'd be better off trying to sell his story to the National Enquirer, Weekly World News, or some online equivalent.

[Luv2play]

2 hours ago, rvwnsd said:

I say he would be wasting his money on a publicist. He'd be better off trying to sell his story to the National Enquirer, Weekly World News, or some online equivalent.

No dignity in that. 

[rvwnsd]

9 minutes ago, Luv2play said:

No dignity in that. 

Not so sure about the dignity in hiring a publicist to promote himself as the "man behind the man," either.

[BonVivant]

16 hours ago, robberbaron4u said:

For the purpose of "clarification and amplification", the person of reference and I have no "relationship" other than that I offer a "sympathetic ear" from time to time. His "plight", if you will, being that he is "ignored" in the celebration of the lives of the two "significant others' in his life, and, too, that, he is no longer young and beautiful and desirable.

It’s called life. We all grow old and wrinkly.  Learn to appreciate it. My advice for him: enjoy the money quietly. “Fame” is overrated. What will it bring him? Nothin but unneeded attention. 

[robberbaron4u]

9 hours ago, BonVivant said:

It’s called life. We all grow old and wrinkly.  Learn to appreciate it. My advice for him: enjoy the money quietly. “Fame” is overrated. What will it bring him? Nothin but unneeded attention. 

Ah, "this disease they call life".  Whilst, I do not appreciate the infirmities of " advanced maturation" I work with "old age" rather deftly I think, and, although I have shed my ash blonde locks of hair as an old parrot molts feathers, I yet give good value as a guest at table.

Edited July 16, 2024 by robberbaron4u

[LookingAround]

Probably a waste but if he wants to do it, it's his money he can do what he wants. It's his decision. 

[robberbaron4u]

Having considered the consequences of pursuing public acknowledgement of his as "intimate relationship" with the gentlemen of reference, that is, full exposure of his "past", he has determined to retire to live his dream of a life given to golfing and gambling  in south Florida; that he walked from his last relationship, as " husband" with a man some many years older, financially secure assures him independence of sorts. And relocation from the west coast, and, anonymity in his private life  removes him from the ire of the late spouse's son and daughter in his having walked away from the game with "all the marbles'.

 

 

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

On 7/15/2024 at 7:11 AM, robberbaron4u said:

...going into his sixth decade, his physical beauty is a faded memory...

There are plenty of men in their early 50s who are very sexy.  And statistically, men make their best financial decisions at age 53.

Edited July 17, 2024 by Vegas_Millennial

[+ Vegas_Millennial]

11 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

Having considered the consequences of pursuing public acknowledgement of his as "intimate relationship" with the gentlemen of reference, that is, full exposure of his "past", he has determined to retire to live his dream of a life given to golfing and gambling  in south Florida; that he walked from his last relationship, as " husband" with a man some many years older, financially secure assures him independence of sorts. And relocation from the west coast, and, anonymity in his private life  removes him from the ire of the late spouse's son and daughter in his having walked away from the game with "all the marbles'.

Given the choice between rich or famous... Choose rich.

[robberbaron4u]

4 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

Given the choice between rich or famous... Choose rich.

Indeed.

[robberbaron4u]

6 minutes ago, Vegas_Millennial said:

There are plenty of men in their early 50s who are very sexy.  And statistically, men make their best financial decisions at age 53.

Certainly, he evidences your observation. His first "relationship" as the kept lover of a prominent art dealer was a financial disaster for both of them. As he admitted to me, he stayed in the relationship because he "liked the lifestyle" which, plainly put, was "livin' high off the hog". By the time of the dealer's death, the money was gone, the art gallery operation was jn bankruptcy, the house was in foreclosure, and, he was compelled to pursue escorting full-time to put food on the table and keep a roof over his head. With the succeeding " husband", he was astute in the management of their finances, and, he walked away from that game with "all the marbles", just over a million of them. Of course, there was some unsavory business with regard to his having " appropriated" the inventory of the art gallery, and allegations that the elderly "husband" deceased from benign neglect after a fall and subsequent stroke, issues of little consequence by his lights.

[+ sync]

Respectfully, my feeling is that your friend would better benefit from hiring a counselor rather than a publicist. 

[MscleLovr]

On 7/15/2024 at 4:11 PM, robberbaron4u said:

He is…a textbook sociopath with…malignant narcisism,…into his sixth decade, his physical beauty is a faded memory

4 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

With the succeeding " husband", he was astute in the management of their finances, and, he walked away from that game with "all the marbles", just over a million of them.

 

If I read this correctly, even with “relocating from the West Coast”, I very much doubt that this man (now in his 50s) with just over $1million, will be able to maintain a large, high-living existence for long.

I have heard a similar tale once before. I wonder if this man you describe was latterly a real estate agent? I ask because there was some considerable gossip that he had (inadvertently or deliberately) hastened the demise of both his older partners. 
 

My concern here would be for you @robberbaron4u since this man may want to attach himself to you, just as a parasite always seeks a new host. 

[robberbaron4u]

1 hour ago, MscleLovr said:

If I read this correctly, even with “relocating from the West Coast”, I very much doubt that this man (now in his 50s) with just over $1million, will be able to maintain a large, high-living existence for long.

I have heard a similar tale once before. I wonder if this man you describe was latterly a real estate agent? I ask because there was some considerable gossip that he had (inadvertently or deliberately) hastened the demise of both his older partners. 
 

My concern here would be for you @robberbaron4u since this man may want to attach himself to you, just as a parasite always seeks a new host. 

Now, now...for a young man, a mature "significant other" afflicted with  chronic or catastrophic health issues requiring constant care and attention would be, doubtlessly, an aggravating impediment to his daily regiment of playing 18 holes of golf with the boys. And, too, elderly gentlemen of means, compromised in their health and lingering, perhaps, too long at death's door, frequently decease from broken necks resultant from a fall in an ill-considered attempt at walking unaided or, say, falling over a deck railing into a ravine following an overdose  of insulin, a tumble down a flight of stairs...so many unfortunate scenarios to consider. That they have signed over "everything" in fee semple to their youthful partner in the months preceding taking leave of life evidences their love and affection for the partner. Being grateful for your concern, I will pm you on this one.

[BonVivant]

35 minutes ago, robberbaron4u said:

Now, now...for a young man, a mature "significant other" afflicted with  chronic or catastrophic health issues requiring constant care and attention would be, doubtlessly, an aggravating impediment to his daily regiment of playing 18 holes of golf with the boys. And, too, elderly gentlemen of means, compromised in their health and lingering, perhaps, too long at death's door, frequently decease from broken necks resultant from a fall in an ill-considered attempt at walking unaided or, say, falling over a deck railing into a ravine following an overdose  of insulin, a tumble down a flight of stairs...so many unfortunate scenarios to consider. That they have signed over "everything" in fee semple to their youthful partner in the months preceding taking leave of life evidences their love and affection for the partner. Being grateful for your concern, I will pm you on this one.

A cautionary tale of taking on a young(er) lover… 

[+ DrownedBoy]

Yes, he's definitely a narcissist if he thinks he should be "acknowledged" for contributing to another man's success. He was probably just the man's boytoy, and his only "contribution" was to get the man off so he could concentrate on his work.

If the guy is really well known, I'd say write a tell-all book (I'm thinking like Liberace). The successful man will probably sic his lawyers on him, but he might get bought out. So he'll have to settle for the money. From what it sounds like, he should consider himself lucky to get that.

[robberbaron4u]

4 minutes ago, DrownedBoy said:

Yes, he's definitely a narcissist if he thinks he should be "acknowledged" for contributing to another man's success. He was probably just the man's boytoy, and his only "contribution" was to get the man off so he could concentrate on his work.

If the guy is really well known, I'd say write a tell-all book (I'm thinking like Liberace). The successful man will probably sic his lawyers on him, but he might get bought out. So he'll have to settle for the money. From what it sounds like, he should consider himself lucky to get that.

Art dealer, actor, architect....the art dealer and architect were prominent in their respective professions; the actor was "semi-famous". All deceased. What he did not understand, as you stated, was that he was  "incidental" to these men's lives; their friends tolerated him as such and nothing more.