Anybody else fall for the men they hire?

[Dru10664629]

I fell for my masseur. Twice we even worked out together, and he became my motivation to get back in shape. I thought he was single… until I found out he has a wife and child living in the same apartment I used to visit. I was shocked, heartbroken, and overwhelmed. I’ve deleted his number and our chats — no more seeing him, for my own peace. Still, he’s the only masseur who ever did massage the way I needed it.

[Luv2play]

23 hours ago, Dru10664629 said:

I fell for my masseur. Twice we even worked out together, and he became my motivation to get back in shape. I thought he was single… until I found out he has a wife and child living in the same apartment I used to visit. I was shocked, heartbroken, and overwhelmed. I’ve deleted his number and our chats — no more seeing him, for my own peace. Still, he’s the only masseur who ever did massage the way I needed it.

I think someday you may live to regret your reaction. It all depends. 
I have a regular provider who over time let me know he has a wife and child. Because we get on so well in the bedroom, it didn't faze me. 
Previously I had also discovered his real name. Our relationship was built on mutual trust and slowly revealing ourselves to each other, altho I tend to be an open book. But a provider sometimes needs to take longer to trust his client. I try not to judge people and try to see things from their perspective. 

[Dru10664629]

5 hours ago, Luv2play said:

I think someday you may live to regret your reaction. It all depends. 
I have a regular provider who over time let me know he has a wife and child. Because we get on so well in the bedroom, it didn't faze me. 
Previously I had also discovered his real name. Our relationship was built on mutual trust and slowly revealing ourselves to each other, altho I tend to be an open book. But a provider sometimes needs to take longer to trust his client. I try not to judge people and try to see things from their perspective. 

I respect that different people have different boundaries and comfort levels. In my case, he did not disclose that he has a wife and child — I discovered it on my own after 6 months — and that changed everything for me. I also recognize that my feelings were one-sided, and I don’t want to invest energy into something that has no real future. I value honesty, availability, and emotional safety, so stepping away is me being smart and protecting my peace, not something I’ll regret.

[Luv2play]

No real future? What were you looking for, a husband?

You say he fulfilled your needs as a masseur and a training coach. And you had feelings for him. He probably sensed that, and that is why maybe he was reluctant to disclose his marital status. 
 

You don’t say how you went about finding that out. I hope it wasn’t in an unsavoury fashion. 
 

Nevertheless it was you who tried to cross the boundaries of what is after all a transactional relationship. He was providing a service for money. I think your expectations were unrealistic. 

[+ SirBillybob]

It’s the load bearing; structural cheques called for. 

Edited yesterday at 09:48 AM by SirBillybob

[Dru10664629]

9 hours ago, Luv2play said:

No real future? What were you looking for, a husband?

You say he fulfilled your needs as a masseur and a training coach. And you had feelings for him. He probably sensed that, and that is why maybe he was reluctant to disclose his marital status. 
 

You don’t say how you went about finding that out. I hope it wasn’t in an unsavoury fashion. 
 

Nevertheless it was you who tried to cross the boundaries of what is after all a transactional relationship. He was providing a service for money. I think your expectations were unrealistic. 

I didn’t go looking for someone married. I believed he was single because that is how he presented himself. 

Yes, I developed feelings unconsciously. That happens when you consistently spend time with someone who feels safe, supportive, and encouraging. I did not create any drama towards him, i handled it quietly and respectfully. 

This isn’t about trying to cross boundaries or chase unavailable people. It’s about realizing the situation had no real future and having enough self-respect to walk away. As choosing distance is me protecting myself.