Providers not responding to inquiries

[ToddH]

I'm a bit new to this and don't understand something.  I've sent messages to providers, mostly those found on Rentmasseur, some from Adam.   I usually send a text, sometimes more than one or two over a few days.

Many, possibly most, do not respond.  Is this normal?

 I've tried to be cordial.  Something like: "Hi xxxx, I saw your ad on rentmasseur and would like to get more info about your massage services and rates."

Am I missing something?  Is there a better approach that I should be trying?

Thanks for any insight.

[+ azdr0710]

as you say you're doing, sending a text seems to be the preferred method these days, so you're good there.....whatever method they request in their profile

there are many varying reasons why you're not getting a good response rate:  the provider is very busy and can't reply to all inquiries, they are only fishing for replies to see if a trip to your city is worth it, they sense something askew in your inquiry and are spooked by it, they think you aren't serious, they prefer a date-and-time request in the first inquiry and aren't in the mood for chitchat.....etc., etc........not all providers are guilty of all of these possibilities, of course, but there are many possible reasons.......

you aren't the first one to lament lack of replies!!!!

 

[d.anders]

This is a hit-or-miss business. Very few of these guys are legit, so they don't treat the customer in a professional manner. It's not a realistic expectation. Most of these guys want instant appointments (cash). They don't want to answer questions, or have anything to do with what they call "time wasters." For many, it's just another version of rentmen.com.

I always ask questions, but many don't respond. I've learned to move on quickly. I've learned not to fall in love with a photograph. I'm willing to pay for good service, but good service is difficult to find, sometimes. When you find it, it's a good thing to keep. But it is a needle in a haystack. Good luck.

[BigNoiseDallas]

I can empathize with you. I've been ghosted by 3 different masseurs in Dallas -- they were all providers I had seen on multiple occasions and I never knew what happened.

One flat-out never responded to 3 texts;  his former personal and massage partner said "Yes" but never followed up (I had seen them separately and together multiple times, and that didn't seem to be an issue). FYI, these two attempts were about a year apart.

The third masseur -- I initially scheduled a session for the evening before Thanksgiving. Late that afternoon, as I was leaving the gym, he texted and asked if we could reschedule to the day after Thanksgiving as he had to prepare a dish or two for the next day. I said sure, no problem -- what time is good for you on Friday? Never heard from him again. 

Needless to say, I've moved on, LOL -- and all 3 seem to be out of the business.

[Trick]

In a way, I’m glad when they don’t reply. It goes to show how they don’t care about clients.  They’re automatically taken off my list.

[Your Man in Arlington]

Maybe there are negative comments on Mr Number associated with the number you text from?

[BigNoiseDallas]

7 minutes ago, Trick said:

In a way, I’m glad when they don’t reply. It goes to show how they don’t care about clients.  They’re automatically taken off my list.

Agree, it's also a little frustrating to find someone you're interested in and they can't be bothered to respond.

On the flip side,  some providers who can't accommodate you are truly nice about it. I had to cancel a 4-handed session with a traveling duo right after COVID hit -- just didn't feel comfortable being in a confined space with strangers. The partner I was communicating with was super-nice and understanding. They have since broken up but are still massaging -- they are here occasionally but I haven't been able to schedule with him (I had seen his partner once on a solo trip -- that session was fine but wasn't compelled to repeat with him). 

[+ KensingtonHomo]

I don’t have an issue getting responses. I’d say 80 percent respond. 

i think your issue is you’re not asking a question or giving a time frame. Maybe you if you give a time “are you available next Monday or Tuesday? If so, can you tell me what your rates are?” 

I also sometimes give a vague description like “I’m a married professional guy who enjoys erotic massage.” 

[Capitano]

2 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I don’t have an issue getting responses. I’d say 80 percent respond. 

i think your issue is you’re not asking a question or giving a time frame. Maybe you if you give a time “are you available next Monday or Tuesday? If so, can you tell me what your rates are?” 

I also sometimes give a vague description like “I’m a married professional guy who enjoys erotic massage.” 

I echo this. If you have specific questions, but definitely not more than 3, ask them. People are busy and trying to get new business while possibly doing the actual work at the same time. The more your questions suggest that they can quickly close the deal with a desirable client, the likelier their response. I don't remember having any non-responders over the last year or two.

Also, I think that many masseurs cannot or don't want to schedule more than a day in advance. There are of course exceptions, and I honestly avoid them, I cannot commit to a massage 3 days from now 🤣.

On a side & related note, I hate open-ended questions here as well. Once in a while, I get messages asking me to "describe in more detail my experience" with masseur XYZ about which I commented in the forum. First, I often don't remember the details because it was typically long time ago. Second, I fucking say in the forum what I think is relevant. I can try to answer specific questions if I remember (e.g., how tall he was, how was his English, was his dick really big, etc.), but don't ask me to jog my memory and write an open-ended essay just for you, LOL. Third, it's really annoying when such an obnoxious and pretentious request comes from someone who hasn't contributed anything useful to the forum.

Masseurs don't know us. I wouldn't be surprised if they block potential clients that seem like too much work. Just like I block some members here. Nothing personal, it's just that we all have limited time and energy.

[djwhfxoxo]

I've had similar experience but it is rare, rather than typical. Recently i was in NYC for 4 days, same as a visiting provider. Texted him as soon as i landed but never heard back. There could be a variety of reasons why. Just like any business, you take it elsewhere when this happens. There are lots of providers who are more responsive. 

[RyanDean]

I anticipation of a recent hiring weekend in NYC I reached out -- via text -- to a total of six gents over a couple days. My ask was "Do you expect to be in town and available on these dates?" (about two weeks from the days I was texting). In reply...

• two offered no reply at all
• one confirmed he would be away that weekend, in an exchange was pleasant and direct and confirmed my continued interest in this provider
• one said he might be available but wouldn't know until a few days before, in a manner that was fine but didn't stir my further interest
• two (one of whom I had booked some while back) said they would definitely be available; both were friendly and flirty in their exchanges, with the new-to-me gent being unusually gregarious, funny, and responsive...

In my followup exchanges with the four who did reply (including the gent who was not available), I asked "how far in advance do you prefer to book"? All four gave their answer in a way that gave me a clear vibe/impression on whether/how I wanted to proceed. With the two (including the gent I had booked previously) who confirmed that they would be available and inclined to meet, I followed up as per their preferred timeline and "penciled in" separate appointments on two different days. At which point I confirmed my interests, my general location, and their hourly. 

On the morning of the respective appointments, I followed up to confirm everything. With the gent I had booked previously, everything proceeded gratifyingly. With the new-to-me gent who was so fun and sexy via text, things didn't proceed as simply and, unfortunately (for me), he ultimately proved to be a no-show.

All of which is to say: when communicating with providers, you never know what you're gonna get. And I've learned not to put all my horny eggs (or expectations) into one basket. 

 

Edited April 24 by RyanDean

[soloyo215]

The panorama seems to be changing. As the market keeps getting saturated with providers wanting to make money, their quality keeps lowering. It's a sad reality. I have experienced some providers who have't been responsive, but I've also experienced some who have responded, but way later, I mean weeks later.

As others state, there are many reasons why a provider might not get back to you, and they range from poor attitude towards their own work or their clients, to legitimate reasons around their availability.

I think it's good advice to keep those who have been responive, let the rest go, and not to get hung up on an unresponsive provider.

Edited April 24 by soloyo215

[JamesB]

From my experience, around 75-80% of providers typically reply within a few hours. The remaining either don't respond at all or do so days later. My initial message is pretty standard, usually along the lines of: "Hi xxxx, I came across your ad at xxxxx. I'm interested in xxxxx. Could you please share your rates and availability for [day and time].

[Rod Hagen]

I have friends in other cities who send me their, unanswered, initial messages to local escorts to ask if I can see anything wrong with their initial message.

DO NOT stress that you said something to upset the escort.  Everyone above is right, for some reason it's become more common for escorts/masseurs to simply never respond.

And if you live in LA, London, NYC.  It's easy to move on.  If you live in Bend, OR and there are only a couple escorts, it become trickier because you have to agonize over how and when to reach out to him again.  Sucks.  People can suck.

 

[Archangel]

I’m probably not going out too far on the limb in saying that “[I] would like to get more info about your massage services and rates,” while not a question, is still an inquiry. Does it have to be “What are your massage services and rates?”

For my part, I’m curious how that kind of question could potentially be determined “not serious.” That’s terminology that’s thrown around a lot and I feel like it’s a catch-all expression, more for “I don’t want to be bothered.” Which is a prerogative of course, but I always prefer honesty in communication, even if it’s not what you think I want to hear. If I find out I was “lied” to or indirectly given a shadow truth, that would make me angrier than you saying “Eh. I just don’t care.”

[Musru]

16 minutes ago, Archangel said:

I’m probably not going out too far on the limb in saying that “[I] would like to get more info about your massage services and rates,” while not a question, is still an inquiry. Does it have to be “What are your massage services and rates?”

For my part, I’m curious how that kind of question could potentially be determined “not serious.” That’s terminology that’s thrown around a lot and I feel like it’s a catch-all expression, more for “I don’t want to be bothered.” Which is a prerogative of course, but I always prefer honesty in communication, even if it’s not what you think I want to hear. If I find out I was “lied” to or indirectly given a shadow truth, that would make me angrier than you saying “Eh. I just don’t care.”

I think that "what are your massage services?" is too vague from a provider prospective. The professional massage therapist is not likely to go into explaining neuromuscular, deep tissue, and swedish techniques. The client would likely receive a response if they say what exactly they are looking for. The therapist can say yes I provide that or no I do not do that. And if the client is actually looking for more of a sensual or nude experience with mutual touch than they should ask for that. A professional therapist is not likely to just offer that from the get-go (even if they are fine with this type of service). They can imply a "yes" I offer that more discreetly if it is brought up by the client.

[NYXboy]

5 hours ago, RyanDean said:

I anticipation of a recent hiring weekend in NYC I reached out -- via text -- to a total of six gents over a couple days. My ask was "Do you expect to be in town and available on these dates?" (about two weeks from the days I was texting). In reply...

I would suggest that reaching out to 6 different providers is probably why they don't respond.  

being inundated with fishing enquires rather than bookings would be tiresome. 

[RyanDean]

Just now, NYXboy said:

I would suggest that reaching out to 6 different providers is probably why they don't respond.  

being inundated with fishing enquires rather than bookings would be tiresome. 

I didn't spam RM advertisers. Over a series of days, I sent out a handful of brief specific queries about future availability. That is all. I was prepared to hire any or all of them for separate appointments, though -- based on prior experience -- I anticipated that only two or three would actually come through as potential actual bookings. And that proved to be the case.

You might have better a yield rate on initial queries and, if so, I suspect we'd all welcome the opportunity to learn from the wisdom of your experience.

 

[Archangel]

How do they know how many providers you’re reaching out to? That’s an assumption unless it’s said upfront. And then you’re just stupid. No one knows how many people I’m in communication in general let alone about services.

[Muscleking]

I’ve learned that the best approach is to be upfront about what you want so saying hello, and introducing yourself and letting the provider know where you saw their profile and that you’re seeking an appt and at what time, a lot of guys prefer to schedule an appt and usually requesting a deposit so just make sure the person you’re hiring has been reviewed several times by other people so you can gauge if the provider is serious or not, but some guys will prefer same day request.. but I find it’s best when I’m direct about what type of appt I’m looking for and expecting out of it, the day and the time etc I always try and request with enough notice so the person I’m hiring has time to respond or and doesn’t feel like I’m rushing them. 
 

 

[NYXboy]

2 hours ago, Archangel said:

How do they know how many providers you’re reaching out to? That’s an assumption unless it’s said upfront. And then you’re just stupid. No one knows how many people I’m in communication in general let alone about services.

 

2 hours ago, RyanDean said:

I didn't spam RM advertisers.

I guess you don't know how many other people have sent them messages either, and I would say messaging 6 different people about 1 potential booking would be called spamming, but to each their own I guess.

my take is if everyone did this then providers would be making bookings out of only 1 in 6 enquires -   which is only a 16% strike rate - making them less likely to be motivated to reply to a new messages. 

[RyanDean]

Your math is somehow not factoring in the fact that I was aiming to book 2-3 separate appointments over an extended weekend, that I did book two appointments, and that I currently have provisional plans for a future meetup with the one who was out of town on the weekend in question.

But, sure, everyone -- on both sides of the equation -- maneuvers the uncertainties of this hobby in their own way...

[dcguy20]

I recently reached out to 2 providers in DC that I hadn't seen since 2018. I had seen both of them several times. I reintroduced myself, but didn't receive a response. Followed up with each of them a week or so later, and still no response. Nothing I can do about it, but have since removed them from my contacts. 

[Archangel]

Another angle to consider is that some providers aren’t looking for this to be something they’re committed to or tied down to. Some guys see it as a fun way to get paid to do something sexual that they could likely do for free just as easily. It’s not about the money for them.

Escorting and massage aren’t the primary sources of income for all these guys. Some are in porn. OF. Some have “regular” jobs. Some are too immature to be reliable communicators. There is a host of possible reasons why a guy doesn’t reply.

I’m still not understanding how a provider would know if I’ve reached out to only him or to multiple guys from my opening text(s). That seems like an unfair and possibly false assumption for a provider to make, and if he does care about the work, a sure way to lose real clients.

[handiacefailure]

I run into that a lot with providers coming to Detroit   I'll send them a message and get no response.    I will ask their rate and I think that a lot of providers don't like that, but I don't want to waste my time or theirs if the rate is absurd.