Second chances

[secgoo]

So there's a provider that I've never mentioned these forums that I would gladly hire again despite the fact that on the one and only time that I have met him is was a disappointing meeting.

In short, the environment was not discreet/private (I only found out that he had housemates (who had guests over at the time) when I was already on my way) and additionally, he had "stomach issues" part way through the booking which meant he had to stop bottoming and couldn't draw things to a conclusion (excuse the euphemism, you know what I mean).

Despite these two clearly waved red flags, and the fact that his rates are 50% higher than the average; given the opportunity, I would jump at the chance to hire him again under some more defined circumstances.

I don't want to name and shame the particular provider because although I had a lame experience with him as a client, I do believe that he's a lovely person and has a beautiful soul.

Who have you had an experience with that didn't quite meet expectations but, given a second chance to redeem themselves would hopefully exceed requirements?

[+ azdr0710]

1 hour ago, secgoo said:

I don't want to name and shame the particular provider because although I had a lame experience with him as a client, I do believe that he's a lovely person and has a beautiful soul.

Who have you had an experience with that didn't quite meet expectations but, given a second chance to redeem themselves would hopefully exceed requirements?

.

are you asking us just to name names of providers (even though you don't want to)?...........or are you - actually - asking us if you should hire this guy again?.......

.

Edited September 19 by azdr0710

[acks0104]

I mean it just really depends on how much or how little you care about being disappointed again. If a guy has to reschedule an appointment, I don't mind giving him another chance, but if he charged me full price and stopped services halfway through our session, that's not something I'd overlook.

[+ keroscenefire]

Back when I first started this hobby I was more willing to give a guy a second chance even if it was a slightly subpar experience. And often the guy would rise to the occasion (in some cases literally) and perform much better the second time around. I do think getting to know the guy and being more comfortable around him does help.

But I find myself more reluctant to give second chances now. I think partially it's the price increases. There's a big difference to me between $250 and $350 and I do feel less willing to take that second chance risk when the price is higher. And also the attitude with some of these guys have changed. It's like they know they aren't performing well but also kinda don't care. I too have gotten the sudden stomach cramps and weird private things coming up in our time together. And yeah things happen, but maybe they always happen with some particular guys?

In your case it does sound like you maybe connected a bit more so go for it. I would suggest you host the next time and maybe be more specific with what you would like out of the session. The second time around I feel you can be a little more direct. 

[secgoo]

5 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

.

are you asking us just to name names of providers (even though you don't want to)?...........or are you - actually - asking us if you should hire this guy again?.......

.

No not expecting any names, just reflections on past experiences 

[ICTJOCK]

Interesting topic for sure.   As a provider,  I would certainly want to be considered for a second chance had their been a problem.   Any person can have a physical challenge during "work time".     In this case,  I would think the provider should be aware of the earlier concerns and have a chance to redeem himself.

Good for you for thinking this way.   I hope you will take the time to report back if you do have that second opportunity!

[+ nycman]

Every time I’ve given someone (boyfriend, employee, escort, etc.) a "second chance", I’ve regretted it. 

I’ve learned to just move on.

Too many fish in the sea….. 

[Nvr2thick4me]

44 minutes ago, nycman said:

Every time I’ve given someone (boyfriend, employee, escort, etc.) a "second chance", I’ve regretted it. 

I’ve learned to just move on.

Too many fish in the sea….. 

I agree with you - once I’ve had a negative experience I usually just move on. “When someone shows you who they are, believe them” Maya Angelou 

[+ Unicorn]

15 hours ago, secgoo said:

...In short, the environment was not discreet/private (I only found out that he had housemates (who had guests over at the time) when I was already on my way) and additionally, he had "stomach issues" part way through the booking which meant he had to stop bottoming and couldn't draw things to a conclusion... I do believe that he's a lovely person and has a beautiful soul...

He had no respect for your privacy and didn't do what you'd agreed upon. I'm guessing you didn't get a discount. What you left out is what leads you to believe he's a "lovely person" and a "beautiful soul"? Just that he's good-looking? If you do decide to go through again, which I don't necessarily recommend, I would advise you to get an understanding that if he doesn't do what you agreed upon, you don't pay--at least withholding 50%. 

[Marc in Calif]

1 hour ago, Unicorn said:

What you left out is what leads you to believe he's a "lovely person" and a "beautiful soul"? Just that he's good-looking?

Why would you immediatly jump to looks only? The provider was already bottoming for secgoo, so there was plenty of opportunity to observe his personality, smiles, kissing, small-talk, and other aspects of foreplay. 

I'm confident that's how secgoo meant "lovely person" and "beautiful soul." 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I did give a second chance to a provider who robbed me at the second visit.

 

So, no. Supply and demand are on my side.

[JamesB]

This is a very interesting post for me since I'm at the same situation at the moment.
Based on my experience, I would normally not give a provider a second chance.
In this particular case, this massage provider was a regular for me but his performance started to go down hill the last couple of times. No big deal, this has happened to me in the past with other providers and I just stopped hiring them and move on. This provider did reach out to me apologizing for the previous bad sessions and offering a free session to compensate for his bad performances. For some reason I find it difficult not to give this guy a second chance and just move on like I know I should. 

[secgoo]

16 hours ago, Unicorn said:

What you left out is what leads you to believe he's a "lovely person" and a "beautiful soul"? Just that he's good-looking?

I know a very small amount of information about his personal life outside the sex industry. I've obviously made conclusions from that small amount of info but I think they're right.

[maninsoma]

While it never felt great to show up at a provider's place and find someone else there (roommate/boyfriend or, in a couple of cases, the client before me on the way out!), that was never a big concern of mine as long as the room we were in was private. 

I think if someone has to stop the session at mid-point due to some physical issue he should discount the session.  I wouldn't be inclined to give the guy a second chance if he didn't realize that his inability to complete the booking as scheduled warranted some reduction of fee.

[+ Unicorn]

1 hour ago, maninsoma said:

While it never felt great to show up at a provider's place and find someone else there (roommate/boyfriend or, in a couple of cases, the client before me on the way out!), that was never a big concern of mine as long as the room we were in was private. 

I think if someone has to stop the session at mid-point due to some physical issue he should discount the session.  I wouldn't be inclined to give the guy a second chance if he didn't realize that his inability to complete the booking as scheduled warranted some reduction of fee.

I agree with the second sentence, and the first to a point. Seeing clients that close, back-to-back strikes me as a bit icky. And peoples' needs for privacy differ. I personally wouldn't mind a room-mate seeing me, because I don't do things behind my fiance's back. However, some people need to be more discreet, and thus having others see you should also be disclosed in advance. For example "I can host, but my room-mate might see you. I that OK with you?". And undisclosed guests should be a real no-no. There can be zero expectations of privacy from guests. 

Edited September 20 by Unicorn

[+ nycman]

16 hours ago, JamesB said:

….just move on like I know I should. 

In your heart, you know the correct answer.

Listen to your heart.

[TorontoDrew]

I think it depends.  If the first time is bad, don't go back. I had a mediocre experience with a provider whom I find very attractive.  I gave him a second chance and had the same experience. 

I have another provider whom I have seen four times.  The first three were excellent and the last not so great.  I'll give him another chance.

[DWnyc]

The first time can be great - prompting a second time which isn’t.

I feel in this hobby there’s an element of the terming they give on investments - “past performance is no indicator of future returns” 

One more thing. As often discussed here or rather it’s there to see if you read between the lines on some posts - what may be a memorable experience for you (good or bad) may be totally forgotten by the provider given the imbalance in volume of interactions. Make note of fundamental character issues which likely won’t change, but other things may be situation specific.

 

 

 

[JamesB]

59 minutes ago, nycman said:

In your heart, you know the correct answer.

Listen to your heart.

That is the problem, my heart says: Give him another chance. My brain says: Don't be an idiot, walk away. LOL!!!

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

From an escort's POV:

If a potential client is disrespectful, he's not getting a second shot.  That's my line in the sand.

Cancellations I can handle.  LIfe happens.  I give people a lot of leeway, as I expect it in return when I have my own delays/cancellations.

And sometimes, you just don't click with someone.  Conversation is forced.  There's no common ground.  If it's more than just someone being nervous and needing time to acclimate, that's also something of a deal-breaker.  

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

1 hour ago, nycman said:

Listen to your heart.

You're making this very, very easy today.

[DWnyc]

Also: does the escort actually want a “second chance”? Bad behavior or just not clicking - often stems from not being into it and there’s no point forcing it.

Appreciate @BenjaminNicholas perspective re no second chances from the provider end though I don’t think that’s universally held. Some providers would still take the second chance and the money … whether the first meet was bad because of the client or their own lack of interest which is a recipe for a bad repeat. 

[Decatur Guy]

Usually, if a first meeting doesn't go that well, I don't request a second meeting. However, there are exceptions. Sometimes, the meet-up was on the fence -- not as well as I hoped but still an OK time. And I'm especially prone to request a second meeting if I know I wasn't bringing my A-game that night. 

My very first meet-up with a provider didn't go well at all. But I rehired him a year later anyway because I felt like the disappointment was on me, not on him. Second time was much better. And I got one last chance before he retired, and it was off the charts great.

More often, the scenario is I think the first meet-up went well, but I never get to arrange a second one because it was a guy traveling through and he didn't come back or he entered and exited the business in quick order or I happened to catch up near the end of his time in business. For every provider I wouldn't see again, and I think of two I would see again and haven't had the chance. (Looking at you Scott DeMarco).

 

Edited September 21 by Decatur Guy

[dbar123]

On 9/19/2023 at 4:26 AM, nycman said:

Every time I’ve given someone (boyfriend, employee, escort, etc.) a "second chance", I’ve regretted it. 

I’ve learned to just move on.

Too many fish in the sea….. 

I’ve had the same experience. The second time is often a rerun of the same sitcom.

save your $ and move on.

[Jarrod_Uncut]

On 9/20/2023 at 2:18 PM, TorontoDrew said:

I think it depends.  If the first time is bad, don't go back. I had a mediocre experience with a provider whom I find very attractive.  I gave him a second chance and had the same experience. 

I have another provider whom I have seen four times.  The first three were excellent and the last not so great.  I'll give him another chance.

This is a good point. I think this helped me understand why most times, I won’t accept invites if I’m feeling mentally or physically: depleted. If I do, it would have to be within a convenient manner.

Like this week, client contacted for an outcall last minute, at night…but I had an outcall booking the next day in early afternoon. I wasn’t about to overwork myself trying to do both, because I know what each booking would entail: 

A fun buddy of mine wanted to meet up the same day AFTER I got my vaccinations: that wasn’t happening either. Which I’m glad I didn’t because it was going to be a sleepover. I was low energy last night, and felt like comatose until the afternoon. 

In both cases I was like, it’s not going to be as good as last time so; I’m not even going to accept the invite.
 

 

Edited Saturday at 08:18 AM by Jarrod_Uncut