LGBTQ people feeling compelled to move to a different state

[EZEtoGRU]

This is an important article about the real life impact anti-LGBTQ legislation in various states is having on LGBTQ families and their decision to move to more accepting states.   There is also the critical angle of the professional void one of these moves can leave in the departed state. 

These are not rare or unique cases.  This article covers one family leaving Louisiana for New York and another leaving Missouri for Colorado.  However one only need to google the topic to find many instances of people choosing to move (or considering a move) from a less-tolerant state to a more accepting state due to recent legislative changes.  Not surprisingly, many of these stories cover LGBT folks having left or currently living in Florida.

The purpose of starting this thread is not to discuss the politics/legislation which was the impetus for these moves.   Instead we should focus on the impact on people's actual lives and folks feeling compelled to leave the state they once loved.  

One of Louisiana's only pediatric cardiologists has left the state over anti-LGBTQ legislation | CNN

WWW.CNN.COM

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When Jake Kleinmahon and his husband, Tom, decided to move back to New Orleans in 2018, they had plans to live there forever.

 

[pubic_assistance]

Moving from conservative States to more liberal states is nothing new for gay men and women. Any so-called "anti-gay" legislation is merely a symptom of a greater problem. Federal authority can establish progressive laws but these don't actually change the inclination of conservative communities to condemn homosexual lifestyles. Why would you want to live where you're not welcome? This is one of the great things about the US. You can find many different communities here and one of them will likely fit your needs. You don't need a passport to get there. Just go.

[+ Charlie]

The other side of the story is the way some places became more desirable for gays in the first place. The classic case was San Francisco. Many closeted gays in the military during World War II spent time in SF before being shipped off to the Pacific war, and experienced more social freedom there; when the war was over, they decided to return to SF rather than to the small towns in the Mid-west and the South where they had been raised. The influx of gays made California more liberal, and their exodus from their original homes made the states they left behind more conservative.

[+ nycman]

As others have stated, this is not a new phenomenon.

It’s one reason I love America so much. There are literally thousands of options for how and where you can choose to live. 

[caramelsub]

I just hate how the lgbtq friendly cities tend to be extremely expensive. 

Edited September 1, 2023 by caramelsub

[+ Charlie]

43 minutes ago, caramelsub said:

I just hate how the lgbtq friendly cities tend to be extremely expensive. 

That's because we're worth it🤩

[+ José Soplanucas]

6 hours ago, EZEtoGRU said:

This is an important article about the real life impact anti-LGBTQ legislation in various states is having on LGBTQ families and their decision to move to more accepting states.   There is also the critical angle of the professional void one of these moves can leave in the departed state. 

These are not rare or unique cases.  This article covers one family leaving Louisiana for New York and another leaving Missouri for Colorado.  However one only need to google the topic to find many instances of people choosing to move (or considering a move) from a less-tolerant state to a more accepting state due to recent legislative changes.  Not surprisingly, many of these stories cover LGBT folks having left or currently living in Florida.

The purpose of starting this thread is not to discuss the politics/legislation which was the impetus for these moves.   Instead we should focus on the impact on people's actual lives and folks feeling compelled to leave the state they once loved.  

One of Louisiana's only pediatric cardiologists has left the state over anti-LGBTQ legislation | CNN

WWW.CNN.COM

---

When Jake Kleinmahon and his husband, Tom, decided to move back to New Orleans in 2018, they had plans to live there forever.

 

Absolutely. The issue is not only affecting gays and trans families. After all, we are a minority. What about women being unowned from their bodies by the anti-abortion wave? The theocrats are trying to block them from traveling to other states for the procedure, they will have no other option than moving to a place where they have more rights. 

[EZEtoGRU]

1 hour ago, José Soplanucas said:

Absolutely. The issue is not only affecting gays and trans families. After all, we are a minority. What about women being unowned from their bodies by the anti-abortion wave? The theocrats are trying to block them from traveling to other states for the procedure, they will have no other option than moving to a place where they have more rights. 

Racial minorities and immigrant groups are also feeling compelled to move (in cases where they are able) due to recently imposed legislation in their home state.  I guess it amazes me that in 2023 in the US,  minority groups in certain states feel they have to move to a new state in order to feel safe, accepted, and live an authentic life.  This is not a normal thing to be occurring in a developed nation in 2023.    

[+ José Soplanucas]

1 hour ago, EZEtoGRU said:

Racial minorities and immigrant groups are also feeling compelled to move (in cases where they are able) due to recently imposed legislation in their home state.  I guess it amazes me that in 2023 in the US,  minority groups in certain states feel they have to move to a new state in order to feel safe, accepted, and live an authentic life.  This is not a normal thing to be occurring in a developed nation in 2023.    

I do not see how to discuss this without discussing Politics. Beyond declaring our human empathy (when we have any), there is not much we can add.

[Guest]

11 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

...Why would you want to live where you're not welcome? ...

I'm guessing that it's not so easy for those who aren't well-off. I hear about the horrors black people had to live through in the Jim Crow South, and I've often wondered why black people would even step foot in the Old South, much less live there. I similarly wonder (to a lesser extent), why people live in places with horrific weather such as Buffalo or Fargo, North Dakota. I suspect it's difficult for those without means to just pull up roots. Of course, some may feel stronger motivations than others. As other members have pointed out, gay-friendly places tend to also be quite expensive, and dullard Bible Belt communities cheap. I suppose that for those who are dumb and poor, putting down others for things the others can't help, such as their race, sexual orientation, etc., makes them feel better about themselves. So perhaps there are people who don't want to live where they're not welcome, but feel they have to. Of course, the very goals of those who hate the LGBT community is to push out members of that community, which further polarizes our society and country. 

Edited September 2, 2023 by Unicorn

[caramelsub]

53 minutes ago, Unicorn said:

I'm guessing that it's not so easy for those who aren't well-off. I hear about the horrors black people had to live through in the Jim Crow South, and I've often wondered why black people would even step foot in the Old South, much less live there. I similarly wonder (to a lesser extent), why people live in places with horrific weather such as Buffalo or Fargo, North Dakota. I suspect it's difficult for those without means to just pull up roots. Of course, some may feel stronger motivations than others. As other members have pointed out, gay-friendly places tend to also be quite expensive, and dullard Bible Belt communities cheap. So perhaps there are people who don't want to live where they're not welcome, but feel they have to. Of course, the very goals of those who hate the LGBT community is to push out members of that community, which further polarizes our society and country. 

I’m in the upper south, though not in a small town, and don’t particularly enjoy it for being part of the lgbt community and for being a person of color. Sometimes I do feel stuck, because my roots and family are here. I’m not that established yet in my career so I don’t have the upward mobility to move to nyc, los angeles, San Francisco, etc. I feel bad for the ethnic minority and lgbt people in the deep southern states like Mississippi or Alabama, which are much more backwards in terms of inclusiveness and equality. 

[TonyDown]

I would consider leaving where I live now because it is crowded and expensive.  However the state laws where I come from have become very anti LGBTQ.

Am I hijacking the thread (hope not) to ask what are some affordable cities that are relatively safe for LGBTQ people?

Edited September 2, 2023 by TonyDown

[Guest]

3 hours ago, TonyDown said:

I would consider leaving where I live now because it is crowded and expensive.  However the state laws where I come from have become very anti LGBTQ.

Am I hijacking the thread (hope not) to ask what are some affordable cities that are relatively safe for LGBTQ people?

I'm not sure what you'd consider affordable, but my first thought would be Austin. It looks like one can get a decent 2-bedroom condo near the gay area for about $700,000. I think Zillow won't let me post a link, but check out 1115 W 10th St, Austin, TX 78703, for example. If money's even tighter, you could get a 2-bedroom condo at 1404 Norwalk Ln APT 203, Austin, TX 78703 for $345,000. The monthly payments for that would run far less than rents would go for, for a 2-bedroom place in SF, NYC, or LA. 

 

Edited September 2, 2023 by Unicorn

[+ Italiano]

15 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Moving from conservative States to more liberal states is nothing new for gay men and women. Any so-called "anti-gay" legislation is merely a symptom of a greater problem. Federal authority can establish progressive laws but these don't actually change the inclination of conservative communities to condemn homosexual lifestyles. Why would you want to live where you're not welcome? This is one of the great things about the US. You can find many different communities here and one of them will likely fit your needs. You don't need a passport to get there. Just go.

Well, in theory this is very true. Nonetheless, if you were born and have roots in a place that you love, and where eventually you discover that you are not liked and that your life could be hell, you not always have the strength, resources and flexibility of accepting that you must be forced to leave if you want to live your life accepted and happy.

In a bigger picture my heart goes with those women who have to flee to another State if they want to have an abortion...

[Lookin]

On 9/1/2023 at 6:39 AM, pubic_assistance said:

Why would you want to live where you're not welcome? This is one of the great things about the US. You can find many different communities here and one of them will likely fit your needs. You don't need a passport to get there. Just go.

Haven't been able to get this question out of my mind.  I keep wondering why the person who doesn't welcome me would want to live near me.  Isn't he also free to move somewhere else?  Are his ties to the community stronger than mine?  Does he have more furniture than I do?

If I were to look for a sign of an unhealthy society, I don't know that I'd look much further than people having to uproot their lives to get away from people they don't like or who don't like them.  The success of our species is based in large part on our ability and desire to work together to do things we couldn't do alone.  When did it become a great thing about the US to tell others to 'Just go.'?  

No doubt I'm overlooking something.  One of these days I may wake up and decide to move away from everybody who doesn't welcome me.  I may even leave a note saying I'm sorry for bothering them.

But that day is not today and, if someone chooses to leave to get away from me, I sure hope the door doesn't hit him in the ass.  

 

[pubic_assistance]

3 hours ago, Lookin said:

No doubt I'm overlooking something.

Yes. You're missing the point that in all communities: Majority rules.

[pubic_assistance]

21 hours ago, Italiano said:

In a bigger picture my heart goes with those women who have to flee to another State if they want to have an abortion...

"Flee" ?

My mother said they would just drive their friend to the neighboring State. Get the abortion and drive them home.

It's an abortion, not the gas chambers.

Inconvenient perhaps but hardly the end of the world. At least you had that option.

[pubic_assistance]

On 9/1/2023 at 7:53 PM, Unicorn said:

Of course, the very goals of those who hate the LGBT community is to push out members of that community, which further polarizes our society and country. 

Bible-belt communities drive out EVERYONE who doesn't comply. It's not just the gays.

Polarization is sadly becoming more and more common for reasons I can't mention without discussing the political landscape of America in 2023

[Lookin]

3 hours ago, Lookin said:

When did it become a great thing about the US to tell others to 'Just go.'?  

No doubt I'm overlooking something.

 

15 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

Yes. You're missing the point that in all communities: Majority rules.

Are you sure?

In Louisiana, where the pediatric cardiologist and his family feel unwelcome, 53% of adults say homosexuality should be accepted and 36% say it should be discouraged.

In Missouri, where a woman and her transgender daughter feel unwelcome, 57% of adults say homosexuality should be accepted and 36% say it should be discouraged.

If my math is correct, it seems that minority rules in the two communities cited by the OP.  

[pubic_assistance]

16 minutes ago, Lookin said:

 

Are you sure?

In Louisiana, where the pediatric cardiologist and his family feel unwelcome, 53% of adults say homosexuality should be accepted and 36% say it should be discouraged.

In Missouri, where a woman and her transgender daughter feel unwelcome, 57% of adults say homosexuality should be accepted and 36% say it should be discouraged.

If my math is correct, it seems that minority rules in the two communities cited by the OP.  

I'm going to guess that both these issues of feeling unwelcome have more to the story than just being gay.

A poll may show that a (small) majority claim to approve of homosoxeual lifestyles but that doesn't mean they approve of the way EVERY homosexual couple behaves.

I grew up in redneck territory and I know a few gay couples who still live there. They succeed by blending in and participating with the larger community. Not fighting it.

[Lookin]

16 minutes ago, pubic_assistance said:

A poll may show that a (small) majority claim to approve of homosoxeual lifestyles but that doesn't mean they approve of the way EVERY homosexual couple behaves.

Still unclear on what exactly did the pediatric cardiologist do to earn disapproval and not be welcome?  What majority wanted him to 'Just go.'?

[BSR]

10 hours ago, Lookin said:

Still unclear on what exactly did the pediatric cardiologist do to earn disapproval and not be welcome?  What majority wanted him to 'Just go.'?

The pediatric cardiologist didn't do anything, but conversely it sounds like the state or community didn't do anything to him either.  He simply didn't like the politics.

When he became politically active, his high profile triggered "hate mail."  Mind you, every political activist is subjected to hate.  Every conservative I follow on social media gets death threats on a daily basis.  As for the messages he got pleading for him to find Jesus, pffft, I can't believe he let that get to him.  Just buy a shredder and giggle as you feed in one "fires of Hell" letter after the other.

You don't have to move to Chelsea or West Hollywood to find a gay-friendly spot.  I grew up in Kansas City, which trust me, was not the least bit gay-friendly in the 70s & 80s (very few places were).  But I've since met plenty of gays currently living in KC who just love it -- big gay community, such nice friendly people, both gay & straight -- with a cost of living that pretty much everyone can afford, even cheaper than Austin TX!

Edited September 3, 2023 by BSR
Grammar

[Cooper]

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[+ tassojunior]

On 9/1/2023 at 2:23 PM, caramelsub said:

I just hate how the lgbtq friendly cities tend to be extremely expensive. 

I think most of those cities are not more gay-friendly, they're just equally hateful to everyone, gay and straight. 

 

[NJF]

On 9/1/2023 at 1:23 PM, caramelsub said:

I just hate how the lgbtq friendly cities tend to be extremely expensive. 

I guess the reason is gays have more disposable incomes