Tips for Finding a Regular

[+ glycine]

Hey there! As I'm getting older (turned 30 this year ! lol) I'm starting to want more BF experience sessions and less just plain sex. My dream is to have 1-4 guys who are regulars for me, who I see a few times per year and can always go to instagram to send them cash apps while I look at their photos ahahaha

Problem is, there's a LOT of guys who seem perrrrfect for me, and I'm having trouble choosing ahaha. Also, my current fantasy is a full weekend as a domestic servant/sub, but I feel like I should start with webcam/overnights to make sure the vibe is right.

By the time I explain all of this, a lot of guys think I'm bullshitting also lol.

I'm craving a consistent relationship with a Dom escort for motivation/stress relief - help on good ways to foster this? 

[Shawn Monroe]

Hey! In my opinion, the first step is going to be to just hire one of the guys you like. If you vibe with him, see if he’s interested in setting up an overnight. And if so, test the waters with the relationship you want. If not with him, with someone else. 
 

But ultimately, you won’t know until you get over the initial step of hiring someone first. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I can't imagine a single provider who wouldn't appreciate a regular - it's the closest to a steady income flow you can get in the industry.

[BonVivant]

I have done this. It’s all about chemistry.  You must taste lots of chocolate until you find the one you like. 

[BuffaloKyle]

I'd start with hiring a bunch of guys for an hour or two. See who you enjoy spending time with the most. Never go for an overnight or weekend first in case you don't vibe. Plus then you might get a better rate for a longer session from a guy you've hired once or twice before then as well.

[LFABWC]

Are you really 30?….man you are so young!!!….if I was your age I would get not a escort but a boyfriend for sure…..!!!😊😊😊

escorts….there are so many assholes and nasty guys out there…..it has been difficult for me to get a regular….there is always something missing….a gorgeous handsome and SMART muscular guy….I felt in love with him!!! lol but he really is into fucking feminine twinks…..the other young guy is handsome and fucks me like no other, but he doesn’t kiss and it’s kind of impersonal…..the other great guys….they are not locals….

So I am still looking, it’s complicated…😉

Edited July 13, 2023 by LFABWC

[jeezifonly]

5 hours ago, BonVivant said:

I have done this. It’s all about chemistry.  You must taste lots of chocolate until you find the one you like. 

[JourneysEnd]

7 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I can't imagine a single provider who wouldn't appreciate a regular - it's the closest to a steady income flow you can get in the industry.

The last time I tried to do this with a provider is the only time I've been blocked (both WhatsApp and RM). 

Mind, that particular provider was very difficult to schedule appointments with, insisted on deposits and then usually cancelled so maybe I dodged a bullet. Pity though because when I did get to meet him, he was fantastic.

[+ Coolwave35]

Here’s my tip. 

Money talks. 

If you can afford it, finding a regular is easy. If you don’t yet have the disposable income to taste A LOT of chocolate, I think it is much harder to find a regular. I have several incredible regulars, and we prioritize each other. It took a bit to lock them in and be a priority to them. What did the trick though?  Money. 

This is going to sound arrogant and pompous but it isn’t meant to. I thought everyone hired like me. I budget north of $150k a year for escorts and indulge a few times a week. When a session with a new guy goes south or is subpar, I don’t pay it much attention and just get excited for my the next one. When I click with a regular I wanna go the distance with, I don’t give up.

Only in the past two+ years from reading here, did I come to understand that that isn’t the norm, it’s the exception.  I truly had no idea because who did I have to discuss hiring habits with?  No one. 

I have since come to understand that the vast majority of clients hire a few times a year, budget for sessions and save up for them. They meticulously evaluate profiles and interview providers and gather additional information. Most can only hire when they travel. They carefully evaluate what a fair tip is and balance the quality of the session with the additional reward. Some expect a bit of aftercare. All of these factors affect your ability to find and secure a regular. Honestly, I have no idea how you would do that on a budget so I’m not going to be much help if that’s your situation.

I will share a little bit about how I do it with no regard for what it costs. When I’m into a guy, I go hard on the courting process.

I often meet guys at the Adonis nude party in NYC. If I am liking the vibe, I offer to match whatever they make at the party to go home with me afterwards. Sometimes a guy will make $700. Sometimes $2k. Psychologically, a guy knowing whatever he makes that night will be doubled by going home with me locks them in for the overnight.  Now I get to try them out for an extended session.  If we have a great time together, I’ll text them a week before the next nude party. If they’re coming I’ll ask them if they have a hotel. If not, I’ll offer to let them stay in mine the night before, the night of and the night after. I tell them I’ll get a two bed room and only be there the night of the party so they can use it to recover their travel costs and have a nice place to host. No one has ever declined this offer, and no one has ever not shown their gratitude by climbing in my bed after the nude party.  We all know what we’re doing.

The next month, the guy I am into commits himself to fly in knowing I’ll cover the room with the same offer and instead of me texting them if they’re coming, they text me and ask if I’ll be going. Really it means “are you gunna get my room” but I’m ok playing the game too. We banter a bit and I ask what flight they’re coming in on. Then I upgrade their flight. All of these guys fly the most basic economy ticket they can find. Often they’re tall and muscular and flying cheap sucks. I do this with the expectation that while the guy is in NYC, he will try a little harder to make time for me. They almost ALWAYS give me some bonus time as a thank you. They’ll invite me to dinner before the party or usually breakfast after, again knowing I’ll foot the bill and I’m ok with that. I get a quasi BF experience out of it and now we’re getting to know each other out of a king size bed. 

In between parties I’ll offer Venmo and cash apps for them doing silly things or sending me unsolicited pics and videos. It keeps them engaged throughout the month and the conversation flowing. We are getting to know each other and developing a relationship over text and I am keeping them engaged by sending a couple hundred dollars a week or sending shit from their Amazon wishlist.  Now the planning starts. They are more willing to come to nyc knowing they’ll make money with me. I’m excited to go to the nude parties because I don’t have to worry about kissing a bunch of frogs because I already have a hot guy that I’m into ready to spend the weekend with me. 

From here I offer a weekend trip. Once a guy gets to travel in a bit of luxury, they’re committed. Then the invitations get much easier and it goes to “regular” status. 

I am not sure ANY of this is helpful, but it is how I identify, cultivate and lock in the guys I want to consistently keep appointments with me and be regulars. 

Edited July 13, 2023 by Coolwave35

[+ The Big Guy]

Once you find one you like, it helps to find a way to do some extras like dinner, gifts, or travel.   But really if the chemistry is good, I think once you start, just be consistent so that he can depend on the income at a regular interval.  

[BonVivant]

10 hours ago, jeezifonly said:

Wrong meme. Think Forrest Gump. 
 

https://youtu.be/CJh59vZ8ccc

[+ nycman]

9 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

Here’s my tip. 

Money talks. 

No more callers please…..we have a winner!

9 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

I am not sure ANY of this is helpful

If nothing else it was a damn fun read, that made me rock hard!

[+ DrownedBoy]

I've learned that money doesn't always talk...in cases where the escort has an attitude. Also, young escorts tend to be more entitled (and thus believe good money is their due),  and less likely to realize how financially useful regulars are.

[Rudynate]

11 hours ago, Coolwave35 said:

Here’s my tip. 

Money talks. 

If you can afford it, finding a regular is easy. If you don’t yet have the disposable income to taste A LOT of chocolate, I think it is much harder to find a regular. I have several incredible regulars, and we prioritize each other. It took a bit to lock them in and be a priority to them. What did the trick though?  Money. 

This is going to sound arrogant and pompous but it isn’t meant to. I thought everyone hired like me. I budget north of $150k a year for escorts and indulge a few times a week. When a session with a new guy goes south or is subpar, I don’t pay it much attention and just get excited for my the next one. When I click with a regular I wanna go the distance with, I don’t give up.

Only in the past two+ years from reading here, did I come to understand that that isn’t the norm, it’s the exception.  I truly had no idea because who did I have to discuss hiring habits with?  No one. 

I have since come to understand that the vast majority of clients hire a few times a year, budget for sessions and save up for them. They meticulously evaluate profiles and interview providers and gather additional information. Most can only hire when they travel. They carefully evaluate what a fair tip is and balance the quality of the session with the additional reward. Some expect a bit of aftercare. All of these factors affect your ability to find and secure a regular. Honestly, I have no idea how you would do that on a budget so I’m not going to be much help if that’s your situation.

I will share a little bit about how I do it with no regard for what it costs. When I’m into a guy, I go hard on the courting process.

I often meet guys at the Adonis nude party in NYC. If I am liking the vibe, I offer to match whatever they make at the party to go home with me afterwards. Sometimes a guy will make $700. Sometimes $2k. Psychologically, a guy knowing whatever he makes that night will be doubled by going home with me locks them in for the overnight.  Now I get to try them out for an extended session.  If we have a great time together, I’ll text them a week before the next nude party. If they’re coming I’ll ask them if they have a hotel. If not, I’ll offer to let them stay in mine the night before, the night of and the night after. I tell them I’ll get a two bed room and only be there the night of the party so they can use it to recover their travel costs and have a nice place to host. No one has ever declined this offer, and no one has ever not shown their gratitude by climbing in my bed after the nude party.  We all know what we’re doing.

The next month, the guy I am into commits himself to fly in knowing I’ll cover the room with the same offer and instead of me texting them if they’re coming, they text me and ask if I’ll be going. Really it means “are you gunna get my room” but I’m ok playing the game too. We banter a bit and I ask what flight they’re coming in on. Then I upgrade their flight. All of these guys fly the most basic economy ticket they can find. Often they’re tall and muscular and flying cheap sucks. I do this with the expectation that while the guy is in NYC, he will try a little harder to make time for me. They almost ALWAYS give me some bonus time as a thank you. They’ll invite me to dinner before the party or usually breakfast after, again knowing I’ll foot the bill and I’m ok with that. I get a quasi BF experience out of it and now we’re getting to know each other out of a king size bed. 

In between parties I’ll offer Venmo and cash apps for them doing silly things or sending me unsolicited pics and videos. It keeps them engaged throughout the month and the conversation flowing. We are getting to know each other and developing a relationship over text and I am keeping them engaged by sending a couple hundred dollars a week or sending shit from their Amazon wishlist.  Now the planning starts. They are more willing to come to nyc knowing they’ll make money with me. I’m excited to go to the nude parties because I don’t have to worry about kissing a bunch of frogs because I already have a hot guy that I’m into ready to spend the weekend with me. 

From here I offer a weekend trip. Once a guy gets to travel in a bit of luxury, they’re committed. Then the invitations get much easier and it goes to “regular” status. 

I am not sure ANY of this is helpful, but it is how I identify, cultivate and lock in the guys I want to consistently keep appointments with me and be regulars. 

Nice post - enjoyed it.

[Xavitv]

3 hours ago, nycman said:

 

If nothing else it was a damn fun read, that made me rock hard!

Yeah, money talk does the same to me 😄

[Simon Suraci]

On 7/13/2023 at 7:04 AM, Coolwave35 said:

Here’s my tip. 

Money talks. 

^This. And consistency. I’m fully aware most clients can’t afford to do all the things @Coolwave35 does, and certainly not on a regular basis. BUT the basic principle applies.

Do your research. Post on the forums when there is no existing thread (use the search function first), or find the appropriate thread by searching and ask there. Try a few providers for shorter sessions. There is some degree of risk in doing this. You won’t click with everyone, and that’s normal. That’s just part of the process. Don’t give up.

When you find a provider you like, cultivate the relationship by hiring him with some regularity, and if you can afford it, for longer sessions should you really like something akin to a boyfriend experience.

Anything you can do to incentivize your regular guy financially will make him loyal to you and prioritize you over other clients. This is a business. Our time and attention is best spent on repeat clients. The best clients are regular ones.

Amazon wishlists and all the perks you can think of are great, but money paid directly is the greatest motivation.

[+ glycine]

On 7/12/2023 at 9:50 PM, LFABWC said:

Are you really 30?….man you are so young!!!….if I was your age I would get not a escort but a boyfriend for sure…..!!!😊😊😊

escorts….there are so many assholes and nasty guys out there…..it has been difficult for me to get a regular….there is always something missing….a gorgeous handsome and SMART muscular guy….I felt in love with him!!! lol but he really is into fucking feminine twinks…..the other young guy is handsome and fucks me like no other, but he doesn’t kiss and it’s kind of impersonal…..the other great guys….they are not locals….

So I am still looking, it’s complicated…😉

I am ahaha and I was a serial monogamist for years, boyfriends are nice but only if they turn into husbands and most other guys around my age aren't ready for that (Im not either tbh lol) so for now I prefer focusing on friends, career, and being a huge slut ahahaha

and yes its been hard for me as well. I've had 2/3 guys before who I would have loved to been a regular of, but they either are in way different time zones or they have anger management issues lol

[+ glycine]

On 7/13/2023 at 7:04 AM, Coolwave35 said:

This is going to sound arrogant and pompous but it isn’t meant to. I thought everyone hired like me. I budget north of $150k a year for escorts and indulge a few times a week. When a session with a new guy goes south or is subpar, I don’t pay it much attention and just get excited for my the next one. When I click with a regular I wanna go the distance with, I don’t give up.

ugh @Coolwave35 you are literally an icon you're so cool ahahaha I definitely never thought/never really cared if my guys "like me" (although I would hope they enjoy me as a client!" but yes I agree, income talks ! Thats actually one of the many reasons I like hiring; I'm super non-materialistic myself and so sometimes I find it hard to intrinsically motivate myself to hustle/go the extra mile at work. But if I know that my money is going to support a man I like then that changes everything and I'll work day in and day out if I must!

[+ glycine]

On 7/13/2023 at 7:04 AM, Coolwave35 said:

I have since come to understand that the vast majority of clients hire a few times a year, budget for sessions and save up for them. They meticulously evaluate profiles and interview providers and gather additional information. Most can only hire when they travel. They carefully evaluate what a fair tip is and balance the quality of the session with the additional reward. Some expect a bit of aftercare. All of these factors affect your ability to find and secure a regular. Honestly, I have no idea how you would do that on a budget so I’m not going to be much help if that’s your situation.

I often meet guys at the Adonis nude party in NYC. If I am liking the vibe, I offer to match whatever they make at the party to go home with me afterwards. Sometimes a guy will make $700. Sometimes $2k. Psychologically, a guy knowing whatever he makes that night will be doubled by going home with me locks them in for the overnight.  Now I get to try them out for an extended session.  If we have a great time together, I’ll text them a week before the next nude party. If they’re coming I’ll ask them if they have a hotel. If not, I’ll offer to let them stay in mine the night before, the night of and the night after. I tell them I’ll get a two bed room and only be there the night of the party so they can use it to recover their travel costs and have a nice place to host. No one has ever declined this offer, and no one has ever not shown their gratitude by climbing in my bed after the nude party.  We all know what we’re doing.

The next month, the guy I am into commits himself to fly in knowing I’ll cover the room with the same offer and instead of me texting them if they’re coming, they text me and ask if I’ll be going. Really it means “are you gunna get my room” but I’m ok playing the game too. We banter a bit and I ask what flight they’re coming in on. Then I upgrade their flight. All of these guys fly the most basic economy ticket they can find. Often they’re tall and muscular and flying cheap sucks. I do this with the expectation that while the guy is in NYC, he will try a little harder to make time for me. They almost ALWAYS give me some bonus time as a thank you. They’ll invite me to dinner before the party or usually breakfast after, again knowing I’ll foot the bill and I’m ok with that. I get a quasi BF experience out of it and now we’re getting to know each other out of a king size bed. 

In between parties I’ll offer Venmo and cash apps for them doing silly things or sending me unsolicited pics and videos. It keeps them engaged throughout the month and the conversation flowing. We are getting to know each other and developing a relationship over text and I am keeping them engaged by sending a couple hundred dollars a week or sending shit from their Amazon wishlist.  Now the planning starts. They are more willing to come to nyc knowing they’ll make money with me. I’m excited to go to the nude parties because I don’t have to worry about kissing a bunch of frogs because I already have a hot guy that I’m into ready to spend the weekend with me. 

From here I offer a weekend trip. Once a guy gets to travel in a bit of luxury, they’re committed. Then the invitations get much easier and it goes to “regular” status. 

I am not sure ANY of this is helpful, but it is how I identify, cultivate and lock in the guys I want to consistently keep appointments with me and be regulars. 

omg no this was super helpful !!! I love your approach. I'm relocating to a bigger city with tons of guys next month, so that will hopefully get rid of my travel issues thank God. I am also DYING to go to Adonis. It would be so much nicer to meet someone in person first, to make sure the chemistry is there. 

I definitely don't have as much funds as you do (yet, ahahahaha) but I could definitely commit at LEAST around 30k a year on a regular - with that amount I have no illusions of being anyones "favorite client" or top of their priority list, but I think I'm a very easy/low maintenance client and on my current career track I'll have much more to be able to give to someone in a few years from now (and will have a LOT whenever inheritance comes in), and I would love a man to be loyal / subservient to. The joy and confidence and awe I get from some escorts is easily worth 150k or more so I would only gladly give them more and more (I'm a cash sub too, in my dream fantasy I have a man who completely controls all of my bank accounts at all times)

I don't even need to see a regular in person necessarily, in the past I've just paid their rent / gym memberships / etc monthly in exchange for texting/an occasional voice note or video call. For me its really more about the alpha/beta dynamic and I just enjoying being of use to alpha men!

One easy way to spoil someone on my budget could be to go all out (5 star hotels, nice gifts, etc etc) for THEM during a weekend/overnight, and then just stay in a hostel or something myself. Until now I've been planning on villas / rentals with multiple bedrooms but I would just be happy knowing someone was living in luxury on my dime, regardless of where I am.

[+ glycine]

21 hours ago, nycman said:

No more callers please…..we have a winner!

If nothing else it was a damn fun read, that made me rock hard!

it made me hard also ahahaha I just love the idea of spoiling my favs like he does  

[+ glycine]

19 hours ago, DrownedBoy said:

I've learned that money doesn't always talk...in cases where the escort has an attitude. Also, young escorts tend to be more entitled (and thus believe good money is their due),  and less likely to realize how financially useful regulars are.

I kinda agree - I once was building something good with a guy and I bought him a new bicycle and told him when it would arrive - turns out there was a fraud alert (cuz I had recently moved back from Europe) and the payment didn't go through (although I had all the money and more for it) and when it didn't come the guy cursed me out and called me a time waster 😕 but to be fair, he deserves someone who would make sure he got his gifts on time - this guy is a real superstar. 

I looooove paying good money and I would like to think of myself as an unlimited resource for anyone who wants to take advantage, but maybe cuz of my age and general personality sometimes people don't take me seriously about that I think

[+ glycine]

2 hours ago, Simon Suraci said:

^This. And consistency. I’m fully aware most clients can’t afford to do all the things @Coolwave35 does, and certainly not on a regular basis. BUT the basic principle applies.

Do your research. Post on the forums when there is no existing thread (use the search function first), or find the appropriate thread by searching and ask there. Try a few providers for shorter sessions. There is some degree of risk in doing this. You won’t click with everyone, and that’s normal. That’s just part of the process. Don’t give up.

When you find a provider you like, cultivate the relationship by hiring him with some regularity, and if you can afford it, for longer sessions should you really like something akin to a boyfriend experience.

Anything you can do to incentivize your regular guy financially will make him loyal to you and prioritize you over other clients. This is a business. Our time and attention is best spent on repeat clients. The best clients are regular ones.

Amazon wishlists and all the perks you can think of are great, but money paid directly is the greatest motivation.

love this also! but here's a problem, my current obsession lives in the UK (or Spain? lol) and so an introductory shorter session isn't really possible in the immediate future (although I will be visiting Europe in fall!) 

So far I've been consistent in sending money to his cash app/onlyfans, and I've explained that I'm looking for a regular findom. I'm hoping with time he'll notice that I'm providing regularly and large enough that I'm serious, and we could do a video meet and then just start planning a weekend trip - I know its not great to start with that, but I'm a person who enjoys a fair amount of alone time/privacy regardless, and all I would 100% want to happen is to be able to wear my chastity cage all weekend and do his chores

he also has a lovely hot girlfriend, so I was thinking of paying for the both of them to do a trip together, with or without me present! I find the idea of using my money to treat who he actually cares about soooo hot, and hopefully I could cut some of the costs of his video content production (flights, hotels, actors even)

[blck37]

1 hour ago, glycine said:

love this also! but here's a problem, my current obsession lives in the UK (or Spain? lol) and so an introductory shorter session isn't really possible in the immediate future (although I will be visiting Europe in fall!) 

So far I've been consistent in sending money to his cash app/onlyfans, and I've explained that I'm looking for a regular findom. I'm hoping with time he'll notice that I'm providing regularly and large enough that I'm serious, and we could do a video meet and then just start planning a weekend trip - I know its not great to start with that, but I'm a person who enjoys a fair amount of alone time/privacy regardless, and all I would 100% want to happen is to be able to wear my chastity cage all weekend and do his chores

he also has a lovely hot girlfriend, so I was thinking of paying for the both of them to do a trip together, with or without me present! I find the idea of using my money to treat who he actually cares about soooo hot, and hopefully I could cut some of the costs of his video content production (flights, hotels, actors even)

It feels like you alr have a (quite) clear idea of what you look for. So really just execution....put them $$$$ to use i would say 👀

Might need to watch out for you yourself being 'played' without any benefit though....its a pricey and mind/heart tugging game you are about to play.

Been there done that...imo, key is to always remember this is ultimately a transaction, consideration must be well delivered 😄

[+ glycine]

57 minutes ago, blck37 said:

It feels like you alr have a (quite) clear idea of what you look for. So really just execution....put them $$$$ to use i would say 👀

Might need to watch out for you yourself being 'played' without any benefit though....its a pricey and mind/heart tugging game you are about to play.

Been there done that...imo, key is to always remember this is ultimately a transaction, consideration must be well delivered 😄

yessss thats always a tricky part about being a sub. I like being used/disrespected a bit for sexual kicks, but I still want to be treated like a friend to my doms - thats actually IMO a tell-tale sign that someone isn't actually dom/"alpha" at all and just play it for sex - in my experience, the real alphas can use me up like a piece of trash during a session and then still be nice and friendly to me later on.

BUT, if I'm into a guy then even just the act of paying him I consider a "benefit"   some people are into fancy clothes or restaurants or buying boats or whatever, but I genuinely get a lot of meaning and pleasure out of gift giving/spoiling. 

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 7/13/2023 at 6:04 AM, Coolwave35 said:

I budget north of $150k a year for escorts and indulge a few times a week

Aw...I only budget 10% of that.

Then again, I'm not retired, and would have even more trouble scheduling for "a few times a week."

Edited August 17, 2023 by DrownedBoy