Provider asks for pic of me

[Gandalf]

Is this usual?  It kinda of surprised me. I think this guy's legit but it seems an unusual request.  Is it common?  

[RadioRob]

It's unusual but not necessarily unheard of.  At the end of the day, if you don't feel comfortable with sharing it, don't.  

I've seen a couple people ask, but not require it.  (And I've seen more providers than I care to admit!)  Remember...  at the end of the day, the person on the other side doesn't know what to expect either.  Most seasoned/professional providers won't bother asking and just go with the flow.  Some newer and/or younger providers are of the Grinder era where swapping photos is a common thing.  Some might even be trying to turn their sex life into a revenue stream.

[+ Jamie21]

The prior replies I accord with. It really should not be necessary. I never ask for pictures and prefer not to receive a pic of the client. I agree with @Simon Suraci in that it usually implies they want me to comment, or offer them a free session because they’re so hot. That’s never going to happen. Most of the times a prospective client sends a pic unsolicited then they never go on to book a session. 
Find a guy who doesn’t ask you for a pic. Chances are he’s doing the job because he enjoys it regardless of the clients looks etc rather than effectively monetising his sex life. That kind of sex worker isn’t likely to be much good. 

[Luv2play]

The odd time I will send a photo of my face to a provider unsolicited but only after we have established a date for our meeting and engaged in a fairly extensive exchange of info about ourselves. Sometimes this will be after they send me more revealing pictures of themselves where these haven't been included in their RM ad.

Without exception these meetings have gone well and sometimes led to further encounters. Sometimes the provider has followed up about getting together again in the future. I've never had a negative repercussion but I suppose there could be a first time.

[56harrisond]

 

[Pd1_jap]

I've had a few ask for a photo. Most of the time I just say I'm not comfortable with that and they are okay with it. A few times it was a deal breaker and so I didn't pursue. 

Be careful there are a lot of scammers out there. 

[dbar123]

If he is buzzing you into a building with video…or meeting you in a public space like a hotel lobby…then I don’t think it’s an unreasonable request

Edited April 12, 2023 by dbar123

[DWnyc]

Let’s add the other factor even though this is uncomfortable for some to address: provider prejudice (“preference”) based on race, age, weight etc. 

One giveaway on if motives are innocent (eg security) vs something less pleasant is: when is the picture requested? Is it after everything has been agreed including price and time and just an admin detaiL? Or is it prior to deciding price or even if the appointment will happen at all? 

The client is hiring based primarily on appearance so will typically want to see what the provider looks like. Does the provider need to know what the client looks like in order to provide service? we have seen divergent views whenever this topic has come up before. Every provider can do as they wish,  but if it’s a business (rather than monetizing a hookup that could happen anyway) and providers want professional respect, they should not discriminate so not require a photo, which I suspect is behind 90%+ of requests. 

Thankfully, the vast majority of providers don’t have this requirement (which reiterates that even the nonoffensive drivers aren’t felt by the industry as a whole). 

[JourneysEnd]

It happened to me once and rung alarm bells. This was a provider I contacted through RM in Munich last year. All his photos were 3-5 years old and he refused to send anything more recent, just said "I still look like this". Then, once we'd agreed a time he asked for a photo (he was coming to me, so no security cam etc. reason). When I said no, he launched into a massive homophobic rant.

Bullet dodged...

[DWnyc]

If a provider can’t or won’t give me their usual service and leave me unsatisfied because of that, I’d rather not waste my money on them and better to clear that up before an appointment is made. 

I’d just they rather state their criteria in their profiles. But of course they know that will make them look like a holes and they would lose business from a much broader segment than they are singling out. 

If they require photos for their security or any other issues, let them state that too and apply it universally. And see where it gets them in terms of inbound inquiries. 

[+ APPLE1]

6 hours ago, dbar123 said:

If he is buzzing you into a building with video…or meeting you in a public space like a hotel lobby…then I don’t think it’s an unreasonable request

Absolutely reasonable for public meets and buzzing a client in. HOWEVER, I do think hiring a provider is different than a hookup app. That being said, I would expect more than "pic?" I assume a seasoned, professional provider would say what they mean, and mean what they say. I would envision something like "I will have to view you on the building sec cam and buzz you in, so I need at least a face pic if you want an incall."

Edited April 12, 2023 by APPLE1

[Nvr2thick4me]

Nope - I will accurately describe myself but will not provide a photo. Since I know what the provider looks like I’ve never had a problem meeting them in a public place 

[Jaroslav]

On 4/12/2023 at 12:23 PM, Simon Suraci said:

straight up want to monetize their sex life by picking and choosing whoever they would otherwise be willing to sleep with and charging.

My cynicism says this is the case 9:10 times…

 

[Jaroslav]

17 hours ago, APPLE1 said:

Absolutely reasonable for public meets and buzzing a client in. HOWEVER, I do think hiring a provider is different than a hookup app. That being said, I would expect more than "pic?" I assume a seasoned, professional provider would say what they mean, and mean what they say. I would envision something like "I will have to view you on the building sec cam and buzz you in, so I need at least a face pic if you want an incall."

Another reason I don’t do in-calls.

Meeting in a public place is a good idea if either of you is unsure.

[Jaroslav]

@Simon Suraci, the clue that I was speaking hyperbolically was “my cynicism.” 😜 

[+ robear]

I dunno, as a client with a new guy I usually provide basic stats (height, weight, body type) and a headshot, usually after the appointment is made.  I do this because if roles were reversed, I think I'd want some idea of who was showing up at my door.  And as @DWnyc indicates above, if anything about me makes a provider not want to see me, I'd rather save the fee to spend elsewhere.

(I hasten to add that my perspective is from a position of privilege.  Nobody is going to reject me because my ancestry is mostly Irish.  Men of color, with disabilities or other special considerations have a completely different experience of bias, and I acknowledge that.)

I absolutely don't expect comments or compliments on my appearance, that's not why I send it.  However, I take the comments from providers above to heart, and may have to rethink my policy if it comes off creepy or needy on my part.

[italianboyph]

Some might, but I've never ask for pics for the simple reason is a lot of men lien privacy and discretion, which I completely understand 

[+ DrownedBoy]

I'm seeing younger clients do this....another reason I'm preferring, more and more, escorts who are at least 30 years old.

A few months ago, I hired some kid and we agreed to his price. When the appointment time came, he started whining, like a little baby, that he "deserved to see a picture of the man he was meeting."

I cancelled on the spot.

[+ Jamie21]

I think there’s no good reason for requiring a picture. It’s just because he’s being picky about who his client is, and that is a sign he’s doing the work as a way to earn a bit of money from his sex life. So beware if you’re asked for a pic.

There are ways of getting around the recognition issue of buzzing in to a secured building. Many intercoms don’t have video anyway. Just give the client a password to say. And if meeting in a hotel lobby I usually just tell my client what I’m wearing and where I’m sitting and they find me. 

I saw a client recently at a hotel and sent him a description of what I was wearing once I’d arrived in the lobby. He texted back with his attire. Was easy to find each other. Only once I’d sent the text did I realise that I couldn’t really be missed…I had my portable massage table next to me 😂
 

[+ DrownedBoy]

On 4/13/2023 at 9:08 PM, Simon Suraci said:

penchant for pickiness 

Nice alliteration.

[Gandalf]

Thanks to everyone.

[marylander1940]

On 4/12/2023 at 8:34 AM, Gandalf said:

Is this usual?  It kinda of surprised me. I think this guy's legit but it seems an unusual request.  Is it common?  

Discretion is one of the reasons we hire. I would take a pass on anyone who asks for a picture but I'll be happy to share other information about myself like basic stats and what I'm interested in doing with a certain provider which might be different than what I expect from others. 

Many twinks ask for pictures, maybe they don't "play well with others" or they just think for many of us is non starter. 

[marylander1940]

On 4/13/2023 at 10:47 AM, Simon Suraci said:

 

The whole pic exchange scenario is common among new and inexperienced providers, and among those who don’t last long. Your experience may be tainted by all the constant new faces who disappear as quickly as they showed up.

 

I agree 100% with with this brilliant statement!

[DWnyc]

Just had an exchange with a provider about a potential first booking who said out of nowhere “typically I ask for a pic before confirming but you sound hot”.

This is in response to what has become a standard question from me “is there anything else I can tell you at this stage?” Based on prior disagreements and “misunderstandings” on all sorts of issues. 

The faux compliment doesn’t work for me and I’m actually quite irritated at the implication.  

[Jaroslav]

@DWnyc, when I first started doing all of this years ago, I was stupid enough to send pictures of myself. I don’t know what the mathematical breakdown is, but of those providers who requested a picture of me, I would say that my estimate is that more than half of them simply stop communicating with me after they got the picture. Now, I’m not what you might call your stereo typically attractive, gay man. So that probably played into the immediate cessation of communication at this stage, it’s me who says it’s not going work out if a picture of me is required in order to book. But I also don’t just simply stop texting. I say that I don’t do that and thank him for his time and move on. I think that a lot of the time asking for a picture is a providers way of determining whether he wants to provide. A way of gauging attractiveness.