Anyone feel like a lot of providers are rude via text?

[coriolis888]

1 hour ago, arnemgreeves said:

I disagree. The unregulated nature of this makes it more problematic in escorting. Not all industries or vocations are alike. some industries value politeness or specific kinds of conduct over others. Sure, people may call a florist for info on their prices and that's fine. But nobody would sex chat them, or text them for half-baked info, or send them dick pics, or ask them for refunds if they're hot, or text them out of hours to ask if they're working. Clients then should learn how to engage with escorts properly via text. That's within their power. Escorts would be less likely to be closed or "rude" in SMS discussions if they were not as fucked around by that medium. 

Reasonable people can disagree. 

I disagree with your position. 

Thanks for expressing yourself.  

[acks0104]

I've seen both sides of things as I had a friend who escorted and there's a HIGH amount of inquiries that don't ever turn into business for providers. For those who get upset that they're not being treated "better" by text, don't take it personally. The problem is that there's just no discernable way to know out of the hundreds of people sending messages, which ones will actually follow through.

Escorting isn't just about that hour or overnight someone might hire. It's a lot of time spent having to communicate and schedule and that gets emotionally draining if you're trying to please every single person who messages you 24 hours a day. I mean hell, even the people on this forum can be catty, petty, and argumentative for absolutely no reason. Imgine having to deal with that kind of thing all day long and then they decide they don't want to hire you.

The great thing about escorting is that both parties get to decide if they want to move forward with the transaction. An escort's time is no less important than yours just because you're paying them. It's a business transaction and if they're not giving you what you want, move on. 

[Scott Virginian]

I think @Coolwave35's story about getting to spend two days behind a provider's keyboard is extremely eye-opening.  Y'all know the adage about walking a mile in someone else's shoes?  He did, and shared it with us.

Thanks for doing that, CW.  That was a hugely valuable insight, at least to me.  

[+ glutes]

4 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

 Laywers or tradepeople probably don't get a stack of false contacts per day, and if they did they may get cynical about people contacting them. 

Then these rude providers should become lawyers or other tradespeople, instead of bed workers.

Edited January 29, 2023 by glutes

[Scott Virginian]

4 hours ago, glutes said:

If you don't ask a couple of germane questions of a $300+/hour provider, you aren't doing due diligence.

I'll go one further.  If someone's asking me for $300 an hour but won't answer a few reasonable questions intended to make sure it works out well -- for both of us -- then imma keep looking.

 

[misterhumphries]

On 1/27/2023 at 7:41 PM, INQUIRER1 said:

I've texted various providers who seem nice on their Rent men pages, but when I text them they seem very curt and almost annoyed. I also try to be very polite and respectful of their time (not having endless conversations).

What you cite is the very reason why I use texts sparingly or not at all. Too much nuanced communication is sacrificed by using abbreviations, misspelled words, or emojis. As for escorts, I give the ones I'm truly interested in the benefit of the doubt. A lot of creeps or possible entrapment on Rentmen, being busy, or simply feeling awkward in communicating with a stranger -- they don't want to give away too much or too little.

[ChasingGirth]

I’m sorry but if you are selling something and you want to sell it, the best way to do it is to do your best for your service to sold. 

I have met very well reviewed escorts, that you would call “high demands” guys and they don’t get bombarded with messages like other claimed. Only few guys gets tons of messages because let’s face it there are only a few high demand guys. 
They also said that they mostly only respond when they are available. 
I think they all work differently. After a while they get regular guys which let only few spots for new clients. 
 

[Todd Jenkins]

BOTTOM LINE: If you are selling a HIGH-DOLLAR item (perfume, 'companionship,' pricey meal, wine, etc.) and you can't be BOTHERED to take the time to answer questions about that item, you're not getting my money. 

You want me to take hundreds of dollars out of MY POCKET and put it in to YOUR POCKET, but you can't be bothered to have a 10-15 minute call? Yeah, you may look at me as a 'time waster' – and that would be to your detriment because I've flown to guys I like to spend overnights with them – but if you can't take a few minutes to have a conversation with me, I will GLADLY spend my $ elsewhere.

Point. Blank. Period. 

 

[coriolis888]

16 hours ago, Scott Virginian said:

I'll go one further.  If someone's asking me for $300 an hour but won't answer a few reasonable questions intended to make sure it works out well -- for both of us -- then imma keep looking.

 

Good for you.

If more clients did what you do, pompous escorts would do without a chunk of money that they could have earned by being civil to those who have questions.

Calling potential clients "time wasters" tells us how big an ego a potential provider possesses.    

[Enchanted]

On 1/27/2023 at 8:41 PM, INQUIRER1 said:

I've texted various providers who seem nice on their Rent men pages, but when I text them they seem very curt and almost annoyed. I also try to be very polite and respectful of their time (not having endless conversations).

Yes, kind of. I've had several be very short with me, but they sound busy that interested. They probably get lots of messages

[Todd Jenkins]

If everyone who was in the business of 'sales' were rude like many providers can be, they would make very little money. How many times have you gone to look at a car, at a piece of jewelry, etc. and had a rude sales associate? Not many times. If the sales associate is rude, you are not likely to purchase the product.

Can you even imagine going to look at a high-priced item and after a few moments of questions and back-and-forth, the sales associate goes "GET OUT! STOP WASTING MY TIME, YOU ARE A TIME WASTER!"?

Same goes for people selling their body. 

Edited January 29, 2023 by Todd Jenkins

[misterhumphries]

4 minutes ago, Todd Jenkins said:

If everyone who was in the business of 'sales' were rude like many providers can be, they would make very little money. How many times have you gone to look at a car, at a piece of jewelry, etc. and had a rude sales associate? Not many times. If the sales associate is rude, you are not likely to purchase the product.

Can you even imagine going to look at a high-priced item and after a few moments of questions and back-and-forth, the sales associate goes "GET OUT! STOP WASTING MY TIME, YOU ARE A TIME WASTER!"?

Same goes for people selling their body. 

I beg to differ. Selling cars, jewelry, etc is not the same as an escort -- who sells his "time" by the way, not his body. Sales of any consumer good do not require the salesman to get naked, to have a certain type of body, or to anticipate a customer wanting to have intimate contact with his sex organs. The last three men I contacted about their services, I didn't book a session. For one reason or another, they were not right for me. It's fair to call me a time waster for that reason. Being called a time waster can be undone by booking and keeping an appointment.

[Todd Jenkins]

15 minutes ago, misterhumphries said:

I beg to differ. Selling cars, jewelry, etc is not the same as an escort -- who sells his "time" by the way, not his body. Sales of any consumer good do not require the salesman to get naked, to have a certain type of body, or to anticipate a customer wanting to have intimate contact with his sex organs.

It's still sales, boo-boo.

And yes, we all know the legal term is that they're selling 'time.' But we ALL KNOW they're selling their body and an experience. 

And no, you are not a time waster by shopping around. 

[Storm4U]

On 1/28/2023 at 5:15 AM, Jamie21 said:

Most of the basic questions that get asked are already answered in the advert or website. It gets quite tiring to answer the same questions by text. 
I get “hi what’s your rate?”….”when are you available?”. I get a lot of messages like that. So sometimes the answer “please see my website” might seem curt, but it’s really just to avoid lengthy exchanges by text.

Also, if the first question is “what’s your rate” the likelihood is it’s too expensive for him. You learn to avoid wasting too much time on that kind of thing. 

This!

[Storm4U]

22 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

I disagree. The unregulated nature of this makes it more problematic in escorting. Not all industries or vocations are alike. some industries value politness or specific kinds of conduct over others. Sure, people may call a florist for info on their prices and that's fine. But nobody would sex chat them, or text them for half-baked info, or send them dick pics, or ask them for refunds if they're hot, or text them out of hours to ask if they're working. Clients then should learn how to engage with escorts properly via text. That's wthin their power. Escorts would be less likely to be closed or "rude" in SMS discussions if they were not as fucked around by that medium. 

This!

[Scott Virginian]

It's all about presentation.  These two lines say basically the same thing, but one sounds arrogant and the other sounds kind.

"Tell me what you want in the first message, my time is valuable."

"You can tell me up front the kind of experience you want. I want us to figure out right away whether I'm the right guy for you, or not."

And you can put stock lines like that in your smart phone's NOTES function and cut and paste them into a text in seconds.

[+ DynamicUno]

On 1/28/2023 at 8:15 AM, Jamie21 said:

Most of the basic questions that get asked are already answered in the advert or website. It gets quite tiring to answer the same questions by text. 
I get “hi what’s your rate?”….”when are you available?”. I get a lot of messages like that. So sometimes the answer “please see my website” might seem curt, but it’s really just to avoid lengthy exchanges by text.

Also, if the first question is “what’s your rate” the likelihood is it’s too expensive for him. You learn to avoid wasting too much time on that kind of thing. 

It's funny, I don't seem to get rude responses by text very often.  I do tend to open with saying I saw their ad on RM and when I'm looking to arrange a session (and the neighborhood, if I'm visiting a place).

I'll also tend to ask about their rate in the first or second message because I prefer to get that out of the way and most guys don't have a separate website. I feel it signals I want to get the arrangement settled quickly and be certain we're on the same page about the compensation.

If you feel that availability times and rates are a sign that an inquirer is not serious, what kind of questions do you feel are a better indication?

 

[DWnyc]

So in answer to the original posted question - yes, yes and yes!

Ask anyone in sales or biz dev or marketing type roles in any industry and have them tell you how often they close a sale with just one conversation. People shouldn’t be selling (anything) if they don’t understand how the free market works.

And I definitely think there is something in this industry that pushes many providers to take on a particularly stand-offish tone - “I don’t need you, but you need me …”.  And depending on the specifics of the client - age, appearance etc - this can fast descend into bullying. Providers have horror stories about bad clients? So do clients about providers. 

[coriolis888]

On 1/28/2023 at 6:31 PM, arnemgreeves said:

I disagree. The unregulated nature of this makes it more problematic in escorting. Not all industries or vocations are alike. some industries value politness or specific kinds of conduct over others. Sure, people may call a florist for info on their prices and that's fine. But nobody would sex chat them, or text them for half-baked info, or send them dick pics, or ask them for refunds if they're hot, or text them out of hours to ask if they're working. Clients then should learn how to engage with escorts properly via text. That's wthin their power. Escorts would be less likely to be closed or "rude" in SMS discussions if they were not as fucked around by that medium. 

Your post implies that perhaps you are not aware of the rudeness many escorts display to potential clients. 

I am puzzled why you would defend such rude and inconsiderate behavior (calling potential clients "time waters" without cause).   

You said that clients "should learn how to engage with escorts properly via text."  

Where and how would clients learn "how to "properly" engage with escorts, to quote you?

That above post from you causes me to wonder about your motivation for defending escorts who abuse potential clients by calling them "time wasters" while most potential clients are not.  

Regardless of the occupation, if an independent worker expects to gain and retain clients, the first rule of behavior is to be civil to a potential client.  

An escort starting off by ignoring a clients' message and/or blaming that client for being a "time waster" when there was little to no contact between the client and prospective provider is difficult to fathom.  

Ignoring a potential client or immediately calling the client a "time waster" because the client wants to know what to expect during a meeting with the provider is inappropriate, in my opinion and in the opinion of countless others who have been unjustifiably branded a "time waster". 

Variety is such a great and sometimes puzzling thing.  

Edited January 30, 2023 by coriolis888

[Jamie21]

4 hours ago, DynamicUno said:

It's funny, I don't seem to get rude responses by text very often.  I do tend to open with saying I saw their ad on RM and when I'm looking to arrange a session (and the neighborhood, if I'm visiting a place).

I'll also tend to ask about their rate in the first or second message because I prefer to get that out of the way and most guys don't have a separate website. I feel it signals I want to get the arrangement settled quickly and be certain we're on the same page about the compensation.

If you feel that availability times and rates are a sign that an inquirer is not serious, what kind of questions do you feel are a better indication?

 

It’s by experience. My rate and availability times are easily found - it’s on the website. If a potential client has looked there, seen what I’m about and most likely had all his basic questions answered by what’s written on there then he’s more likely to book. 

Whereas if he’s just found my number somewhere (it’s on lots of places even where I haven’t advertised because these sites just find numbers of guys who do this kind of work and add them to their directory to make it look busy and attract paying advertisers) or if he’s not looked beyond page 1 of my website then it’s more likely he won’t follow through with booking.

Example texts I get:

”Hi, I want a girl for tonight, my hotel”. This punter thinks I’m an agency. Ignore. 

”I’m a student, what’s your best rate?” This one hasn’t read that I don’t do student rates. “Sorry I don’t discount”.

”Your videos have got me screaming Wow every sec of the way through. Tonites my best nite. Had to give Head for a gram in the office toilets and its gd stuff i can get more for us?” That one is one of my favourites…. one of many examples where the client is drunk or high when they contact me. Ignore. 

“Hi do you do massage?” That’s obviously someone who has found my number on a list of workers….and often the conversation reveals they expect me to be female…(I guess my name could be female too) and when they discover I’m a guy…it’s my fault and I get shade. Those guys are actually worth being rude to: I tell them guys give a better bj so he should try it out 😂.

”Hi I’m at a hotel on 23rd and 5th downtown Indianapolis. Are you free later tonight?” He believes I’m in some  US city (swap Indianapolis for AN Orher place). God knows how he thinks that. “I’m in London, England, sorry”. I could add that if Concorde still flew I might be able to make it but my outcall rate for outside of London includes travel costs….

So you see, lots of questions get asked that obviously aren’t going anywhere. They get a short, polite, response, some get instantly blocked. 

 

 

[Jamie21]

5 hours ago, DynamicUno said:

what kind of questions do you feel are a better indication?

Sorry, I didn’t answer that question in my last reply did I (ironic 😂).

Likelihood of him actually booking questions start with:

“Hi Jamie, I looked at your site, it’s great but I’d like to ask do you do xxxx?” or “…would you do out call to xxxx” or “I’m discreet, can I pay by cash / is your studio private etc”.

Questions where he has gone beyond deciding to go ahead but he wants to check some detail are likely to result in a booking and so get a more engaged response. 

Messages like this:  “Hi Jamie I’d like to book a 90m session with you at 3pm next Tuesday please, I’ll pay by card. Thanks Bob” will get a prompt reply with confirmation, address & directions and an invitation to ask any questions or make any specific requests. Ideal 🙂
 

 

 

[+ Coolwave35]

2 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Questions where he has gone beyond deciding to go ahead but he wants to check some detail are likely to result in a booking and so get a more engaged response. 

Here is my first message to you that resulted in a fabulous booking, and a kind response. 
 

Hello hello!  I’ve wanted a session with you for ages and can finally get to London. Do you have availability the weekend of December 9-11?  I’d prefer the Saturday or Sunday morning. I’m staying at the Baglioni hotel in Kensington.  Would you mind helping me navigate to you by walking or with the tube? 
 

lastly, I couldn’t figure out how to what’s app you. Could you start a conversation with me at. Thanks so much! 

On a side note, I’ve been using my British airways cc to earn points to come back sooner. 

Edited January 30, 2023 by Coolwave35

[Jamie21]

24 minutes ago, Coolwave35 said:

Here is my first message to you that resulted in a fabulous booking, and a kind response. 
 

Hello hello!  I’ve wanted a session with you for ages and can finally get to London. Do you have availability the weekend of December 9-11?  I’d prefer the Saturday or Sunday morning. I’m staying at the Baglioni hotel in Kensington.  Would you mind helping me navigate to you by walking or with the tube? 
 

lastly, I couldn’t figure out how to what’s app you. Could you start a conversation with me at. Thanks so much! 

On a side note, I’ve been using my British airways cc to earn points to come back sooner. 

You’re a fabulous client @Coolwave35 🙂. Keep spending on your BA cc!!! 
 

[+ nycman]

59 minutes ago, Coolwave35 said:

I’m staying at the Baglioni hotel in Kensington.  Would you mind helping me navigate to you by walking or with the tube? 

@Coolwave35 Thank you for helping me find a new hotel in London. 
It looks lovely, and almost reasonable by London standards. 
You don’t know how to navigate the Tube?….that’s so cute!
If you ever need a guide, I’m happy to jump the pond and assist.
London has been and will always be my favorite NYC suburb.

[Jamie21]

26 minutes ago, nycman said:

You don’t know how to navigate the Tube?….that’s so cute!

On the tube there is only one rule to remember. Stand on the right of the escalator. NEVER stand on the left or you’ll look like a foreigner, you’ll get tutted at and told to move.