Providers who are not into "kissing"

[Marc in Calif]

I can think of many possible reasons for a provider not to list "kissing" as an activity or preference. Can you think of others?

* In an open relationship that doesn't allow kissing because it's considered more intimate than oral and anal 

* Bisexual but doesn't kiss other men

* Wants to reserve kissing for only those clients he's attracted to

* Afraid of an orally transmitted infection or embarrassed by bad breath (his own or a client's) 

 

 

[+ ThroatCummer]

I think that the second point is the vast majority. If I had to put numbers on your list of four things, I would say:  5%. 75%. 15%. 5%.

Kissing... real kissing... is something very, very hard to fake. You might be 'straight' or not attracted to men, yet always able to get rock hard and fuck. But IMHO, kissing is the real tell when it comes to the provider's true sexual orientation. 

I started hiring back about six months ago and had a friend of a friend give me some tips before I jumped in these waters. His biggest piece of advice? Make sure your provider is gay or genuinely bi, but you really want someone gay. It'll be way more enjoyable all around. 

His advice was spot on. I've only since hired five guys. Two bisexual and three gay. Both of the bisexual guys were a bit 'mechanical' in the motions. All three of the gay ones kissed with a fucking passion that made me weak in the knees. 

[Jamie21]

To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous clients, Or to take Arms against a Sea of demands, And by opposing end them: to stop, to kiss No more……….

With apologies to Will. 

[BuffaloKyle]

I love to kiss but my main reasons I would not or don't like to with someone, which would also apply to providers, are:

-Bad breath

-Bad teeth

-Heavy smoker

-Too much facial hair

I always mention when I discuss kissing with a provider is to assure them I'm a nonsmoker and I take excellent care in the oral hygiene department.

 

[NJF]

It is probably true that a gay escort kisses with passion, but the listing in the profile may not be always accurate. One of my regulars listed as bi but probably only had an intimate encounter with a woman only once. He kisses enthusiastically.

Edited September 25, 2022 by NJF

[BuffaloKyle]

Also worth mentioning I hired a provider one time who had kissing listed on their ad as an "into" but when I was with them they informed me they don't. So I always ask and bring it up as I stated above. 

[Alex93108]

Try to look at it from the providers perspective . Lots of people hire escorts , you wouldn’t want to kiss all of them . 

I try to establish a comfort level by doing the following 

- Depending on the messenger app you are you using , you could broadcast a profile pic , so he can see what you look like . For me the result is usually this :

He turned out to be delightful 😊 

- I recently met an escort in London that insisted on having a 5 - 10 minute pre meet discussion in a public space before the start of the appointment.  I said ok - fair enough 

He was able to check me out from a distance and realized that i wasn’t weird , i’m fact he later remarked later that I looked very much like his ex boyfriend whom he was still in love with . Needless to say , it was passionate evening I very much enjoyed . In fact we kissed almost continuously for probably 15 minutes or more 

No kissing doesn’t necessarily mean no kissing, you should try to earn the privilege . 

However I realize people hire to avoid all this drama and not to have to deal with complications/ conflict  , so if it’s important hire someone else . Plenty out there if you live in a major city , worldwide 

 

[Shawn Monroe]

Hesitant to answer this cause y’all get weird when we share our opinions in here (despite the forum being called “ask a provider”) but alas:

some people are bad kissers. 
 

some guys think that kissing means licking anything your tongue comes into contact with. Some think it means lunging at you with tongue already out of your mouth. 
 

once a guy wanted to start with a kiss and he just licked the right side of my face. I excused myself to wash my face.  I think I’ve had my eyeball licked before. 
 

I agree with some of the other reasons posed here, but the main reasons reallly are that it is a more intimate activity than getting off, some people have bad breath (pls scrape your tongue) and some are bad kissers. 

[liubit]

6 hours ago, ThroatCummer said:

Kissing... real kissing... is something very, very hard to fake. You might be 'straight' or not attracted to men, yet always able to get rock hard and fuck. But IMHO, kissing is the real tell when it comes to the provider's true sexual orientation. 

I think you have a great point here, @ThroatCummer . To me, no kissing is the absolute deal breaker in hiring. Furthermore, when I sense that my partner (paid or not paid) is not really enjoying kissing me, when he is not being truly responsive to my kissing, I totally lose interest and my dick goes limp. 

[Jamie21]

Fresh breath is extremely important! I always use mouthwash before seeing clients, even if it’s not going to involve kissing (I love kissing but some clients don’t want it) there’s times your face is close so it’s important to smell fresh.

Some people are naturally clumsy and that goes for kissing too. I agree with @Shawn Monroe that some guys kiss badly, maybe because they’re inexperienced at it. I’ve had clients lunge at me mouth open which is quite disconcerting. Those guys tend to be over excited even from the start so it’s challenging to control the situation. Say we have 90 minutes and 10 minutes into the massage they’re wanting to kiss and are ready to cum. Cool down!!

I have a client who was like that every time, he would turn up so aroused and liked to start with a kiss and that got him even more excited. I suggested a way for him to better enjoy the massage. Now he unloads in my mouth at the start, we kiss and share his load, then he’s ready to relax for the massage. It’s a happy starting (he gets a happy end too). 

[+ DrownedBoy]

19 hours ago, ThroatCummer said:

Make sure your provider is gay or genuinely bi, but you really want someone gay. It'll be way more enjoyable all around. 

Yup. I know other clients here have met straight people who kissed well, but I bet those escorts were just claiming to be straight.

I still encounter gay escorts who "don't kiss," even if they list it on their preferences. This is especially true among the younger providers. Luckily they're usually easy to weed out with a few detailed text questions.

There are so many types of bisexuals that you really have to sound them out. I find their (ahem) manner of speaking is a very good indicator of their kissing skills. You need someone who's at least a 4 (preferably 5) on the Kinsey Scale if you want to get some tongue.

Like the others here, I've met a few bisexual guys who don't list kissing, but claim they'll do it for the "right type of guy" or "if the mood hits them." I have a regular I've been seeing since before I started kissing escorts, and although he doesn't list kissing, he definitely delivers for me.

Edited September 25, 2022 by DrownedBoy

[italianboyph]

Kissing is extremely intimate, so some might not kiss because of that.

[+ glennnnn]

I have no problem if kissing is not included in the list of offerings up front, I can do without, but if it's listed, I expect it to be hot and enthusiastic.

[CuriousByNature]

Having never been kissed, if I were to meet with someone I think I would like to try that.  But I get that some prefer not to, and would respect their choice.

Edited December 3, 2022 by CuriousByNature

[TorontoDrew]

I respect that some don't want to kiss. I won't hire them though. Kissing is an essential part of the experience for me.

 

 

Edited December 3, 2022 by TorontoDrew

[jeezifonly]

Out of all potential activities with a hire, I think kissing is the most reliant on that undefinable thing called “chemistry”. No top, no bottom, just equals, and it involves taste and smell more than other intimate acts, so I always regard it as nothing more than a possibility. 

[jtwalker]

I like kissing as much as I like fucking.  It’s a deal-breaker for me, and it’s annoying that so many list it in their Inyo’s when they clearly are not.

[pubic_assistance]

I guess because I'm married and have an intimate life at home ...I have absolutely no interest in kissing someone else.

I also rarely hire escorts more inclined toward erotic masseur services so its definitely not something I personally care about.

That said ...turning it around the other way it could be a level of intimacy that goes beyond "sexwork" for some providers.

[Spiritualadvisor]

 

Sexual activity [including Kissing] alters the microbiome, with potential psychiatric implications 

 

did you know that you can get many different types of psychiatric disorders from kissing? The more you know! 

 

 

 

https://www.mdedge.com/psychiatry/article/253221/mixed-topics/sexual-activity-alters-microbiome-potential-psychiatric

[Jamie21]

3 hours ago, Spiritualadvisor said:

 

Hmmmm…Interesting article, I shall ask all future sexual partners for a sample of their microbiome data before engaging with them. If the test comes back that they’re carrying microbiomes that are the naughty ones I shall reject them as a sexual partner (unless they’re extremely hot, or hung, or rich, or they have exquisite taste in music and art). 

Seriously though, that article is so obviously quack medicine. It’s full of unproven hypotheses, thinly veiled criticisms of people who don’t practice monogamy within a marriage and unsubstantiated claims. Read the last part:

“But the exact mechanisms by which the gut microbiome can impact mental health is still a work in progress. It is highly likely that dys- biosis is associated with mood and anxiety symptoms.
The bottom line: Sexual activity—whether it is heavy kissing, vagi- nal intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or extensive skin contact—can lead to the exchange of microbiota. If an individ- ual has dysbiosis, that could impact the mental health of their sexual partner(s). This raises the question of whether counseling patients about avoiding indiscriminate sex and practicing safe sex is as important for mental health as diet and exercise counselling is for physical health”

Still work in progress! ….meaning ‘we found something that we can use to scare people into being controlled by us’. The language is vague; ‘could’, ‘if’ and ‘raises the question’. It’s not a scientific paper but is masquerading as one. 

My guess is the article was commissioned by the religious right to find another angle against people who don’t conform to their agenda. 

 

[CuriousByNature]

6 hours ago, arnemgreeves said:

Seems like quack medicine. 

Only if they are using duck lips when kissing you.

[pubic_assistance]

When I was younger and I used to hook up a lot with gay men, I did notice that if I "made out" with someone, I was far more inclined to catch the flu or a cold. So I got more into the habit of JUST sticking to the sex  ( which never seems to be a problem with gays ). I would go entire winters without getting sick, and then I'd meet a cute boy who liked to kiss and cuddle and I'd be sick as a dog for days after.  Those kiss and cuddle types, spread disease like Typhoid Mary.

[maninsoma]

12 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Hmmmm…Interesting article, I shall ask all future sexual partners for a sample of their microbiome data before engaging with them. If the test comes back that they’re carrying microbiomes that are the naughty ones I shall reject them as a sexual partner (unless they’re extremely hot, or hung, or rich, or they have exquisite taste in music and art). 

Seriously though, that article is so obviously quack medicine. It’s full of unproven hypotheses, thinly veiled criticisms of people who don’t practice monogamy within a marriage and unsubstantiated claims. Read the last part:

“But the exact mechanisms by which the gut microbiome can impact mental health is still a work in progress. It is highly likely that dys- biosis is associated with mood and anxiety symptoms.
The bottom line: Sexual activity—whether it is heavy kissing, vagi- nal intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, or extensive skin contact—can lead to the exchange of microbiota. If an individ- ual has dysbiosis, that could impact the mental health of their sexual partner(s). This raises the question of whether counseling patients about avoiding indiscriminate sex and practicing safe sex is as important for mental health as diet and exercise counselling is for physical health”

Still work in progress! ….meaning ‘we found something that we can use to scare people into being controlled by us’. The language is vague; ‘could’, ‘if’ and ‘raises the question’. It’s not a scientific paper but is masquerading as one. 

My guess is the article was commissioned by the religious right to find another angle against people who don’t conform to their agenda. 

 

A quick search about the editor in chief of the website suggests you are correct.  While she is an MD. she earned her PhD from a now unaccredited religious school, and her BA and MA involved religious studies.

[Jamie21]

5 minutes ago, maninsoma said:

A quick search about the editor in chief of the website suggests you are correct.  While she is an MD. she earned her PhD from a now unaccredited religious school, and her BA and MA involved religious studies.

Great detective work! 🙂

[mike carey]

15 hours ago, Jamie21 said:

Hmmmm…Interesting article, I shall ask all future sexual partners for a sample of their microbiome data before engaging with them. If the test comes back that they’re carrying microbiomes that are the naughty ones I shall reject them as a sexual partner (unless they’re extremely hot, or hung, or rich, or they have exquisite taste in music and art). 

Had to laugh at the italicised section!

I think the three word assessment of the article is 'nonsense on stilts'. Yes, the microbiome is a complicated 'organism' and yes it is widely accepted that it interacts in complex ways with how our bodies operate, including with our mental health. It can also be changed, both by dietary change (different foods favour different bugs in our microbiome) and by a microbiome 'transplant' from another person. But no way can you 'catch' a different one accidentally, much less by casual contact. So, if you want to kiss your escort, by all means worry about what pathogens you may pick up by doing so, and that may even include something that gives you the shits (literally), but don't worry about it changing your lower GI tract flora and affecting your mental health. Reading that article on the other hand ...