Starting to have feelings after the encounter.

[CuriousSub]

First time hiring an escort yesterday.

 

Besides the initial technical difficulty we almost missed each other, it was great, amazing actually.

I wanted to try some sm stuff and decided to hire someone professional, and he gave me just what I wanted. I was super nervous but he put me at ease right away. There was no orgasm involved and turned into more emotional for me instead of physical: he was hot, hung, tall, and intoxicating.

now I’m finding myself having feelings, and I don’t really know how to deal with it. Logically, I know I shouldn’t text him or have any expectations, but I can’t control that I’m starting to develop feelings, although I’m pretty sure it’s not “love”, I don’t know what it is. 
 

now I’m just rambling and I guess I’m just curious how do people have one night stand do it without getting emotionally attached? If I can’t control myself after just one encounter, I don’t think I should continue and do it again.

 

 

[Rudynate]

It's infatuation for a tall hot hung stud who took you places that you had never been. Totally understandable.   Allow yourself to feel it, but also see it for what it is.  If you don't think you can experience the infatuation without becoming obsessive, don't see him again and allow the infatuation to fade.   But if you think you can handle it, go back for more.

[BuffaloKyle]

First off glad you had a great time! But I'd say it's lust not love. You just had a really fun time with a really hot guy who you paid to cater to your every wish and desire. You are basically "in love" with the thought of doing what you did again. So you want the experience not him specifically. 

Edited March 8, 2022 by BuffaloKyle

[Rudynate]

56 minutes ago, CuriousSub said:

First time hiring an escort yesterday.

 

Besides the initial technical difficulty we almost missed each other, it was great, amazing actually.

I wanted to try some sm stuff and decided to hire someone professional, and he gave me just what I wanted. I was super nervous but he put me at ease right away. There was no orgasm involved and turned into more emotional for me instead of physical: he was hot, hung, tall, and intoxicating.

now I’m finding myself having feelings, and I don’t really know how to deal with it. Logically, I know I shouldn’t text him or have any expectations, but I can’t control that I’m starting to develop feelings, although I’m pretty sure it’s not “love”, I don’t know what it is. 
 

now I’m just rambling and I guess I’m just curious how do people have one night stand do it without getting emotionally attached? If I can’t control myself after just one encounter, I don’t think I should continue and do it again.

 

 

Who is this guy who rocked your world?

[+ azdr0710]

He's a pro and knows how to hit all your buttons. You had a great time and you're on a cloud now. Keep in mind it was a monetary transaction and all business. Text him no more than once, in a day or two, and say "great time" and then get busy with other daily stuff you do. In a month or three, meet up again if you want, but don't take it too seriously. It's all just fantasy fun and that's all. 

[Rudynate]

10 minutes ago, azdr0710 said:

He's a pro and knows how to hit all your buttons. You had a great time and you're on a cloud now. Keep in mind it was a monetary transaction and all business. Text him no more than once, in a day or two, and say "great time" and then get busy with other daily stuff you do. In a month or three, meet up again if you want, but don't take it too seriously. It's all just fantasy fun and that's all. 

Outstanding advice.

[CuriousSub]

Thanks for all the replies . Logically speaking, I know the right thing to do. Right now it’s just pretty hard to switch it off instantly. Prob not suited for a one night stand for me, if I get attached so easily. 

Edited March 8, 2022 by CuriousSub

[MikeBiDude]

@CuriousSub welcome to the forum. I’m glad you jumped in feet first here with your first post. Lots of good advice from fellow forum members here….and believe me that many have been through what you’re feeling.

[CuriousSub]

22 minutes ago, Rudynate said:

Who is this guy who rocked your world?

Haha, do you really want to know? I can’t tell if you are making a joke or being sarcastic. (Genuinely don’t know. )

 

3 minutes ago, MikeBiDude said:

@CuriousSub welcome to the forum. I’m glad you jumped in feet first here with your first post. Lots of good advice from fellow forum members here….and believe me that many have been through what you’re feeling.

Thanks! It feels good to have a place to talk/ ask for advice. 
 

most the posts/replies are constructive, wasn’t sure the vibe here is more like DL, or more tolerant, no judgement attitude. 

[+ purplekow]

Think of your encounter as a day in Disney World.  You were in the happiest place on earth,  You paid your admission fee, you rode the rides You probably ate the "turkey leg" and you had a great time.  Unfortunately, most of us cannot live in Disney World all the time.  There is no reason not to see this man again.  Likely the next session will have the added benefit of familiarity. You know where things are.  You know what was really the most fun.  You probably are thinking of other rides that you missed.  And you probably want to sample a nice juicy turkey leg again.  

 If you truly believe you cannot contain yourself seeing this man again within the limits of your budget and his availability.  Try Universal.  Also great rides.  Also a fun time but just a slightly different experience.  At some point you are going to want to try Universal anyway because no matter how much fun Disney is, hey Universal may be better.  

You mentioned that you did light S&M.  That involves trust and it is clear this escort was able to establish that.  If also involves control, which it seems he was also able to obtain.  You need to reestablish the control you have ceded, which does not necessarily return when the session ends.  I have an escort with whom I have a Dom sub relationship.  We see each other infrequently, but I left a pair of underwear at his place and every now and then I call him and tell him to get the underwear and smell it while I am on the phone. A few inhales and we hang up.   He has been more than willing to do so.  

My bet, you would be willing to do something this escort asked of you even if he called and asked, even if you were a bit Leary of it.   As a client, you need to be able to control yourself before you allow someone else to control you .   Get your emotions in check.  Once you are ready, call him again.  Cede control because you choose to, not because you can't help yourself or because he demands it and you will able to continue having fun.  

Edited March 8, 2022 by purplekow

[CaliMuscle]

What I've learned in these scenarios is that you have to understand that who the person is on the clock is different than off the clock. I have one person that is a stud and we do things off the clock but there's a fine boundary between what is expected when we workout at the gym and when I pay him for services. 

[CuriousSub]

27 minutes ago, purplekow said:

Think of your encounter as a day in Disney World.  You were in the happiest place on earth,  You paid your admission fee, you rode the rides You probably ate the "turkey leg" and you had a great time.  Unfortunately, most of us cannot live in Disney World all the time.  There is no reason not to see this man again.  Likely the next session will have the added benefit of familiarity. You know where things are.  You know what was really the most fun.  You probably are thinking of other rides that you missed.  And you probably want to sample a nice juicy turkey leg again.  

 If you truly believe you cannot contain yourself seeing this man again within the limits of your budget and his availability.  Try Universal.  Also great rides.  Also a fun time but just a slightly different experience.  At some point you are going to want to try Universal anyway because no matter how much fun Disney is, hey Universal may be better.  

You mentioned that you did light S&M.  That involves trust and it is clear this escort was able to establish that.  If also involves control, which it seems he was also able to obtain.  You need to reestablish the control you have ceded, which does not necessarily return when the session ends.  I have an escort with whom I have a Dom sub relationship.  We see each other infrequently, but I left a pair of underwear at his place and every now and then I call him and tell him to get the underwear and smell it while I am on the phone. A few inhales and we hang up.   He has been more than willing to do so.  

My bet, you would be willing to do something this escort asked of you even if he called and asked, even if you were a bit Leary of it.   As a client, you need to be able to control yourself before you allow someone else to control you .   Get your emotions in check.  Once you are ready, call him again.  Cede control because you choose to, not because you can't help yourself or because he demands it and you will able to continue having fun.  

Excellent analogy and much appreciated.

I should change the S&M to D/S, as it is much more accurate, sometime I just misuse the term because of the term BDSM.
 

And yes, to follow up what you said, I will more than likely do it if asked. Again, logically speaking this makes perfect sense, especially your point of reestablish control, but at the moment it seems really hard to resist the temptation. Probably best to stay away for a while, good thing we don’t live in the same state.

[DapperGent]

Relax @CuriousSub, enjoy and allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling but always being aware you are hiring someone to satisfy your desires and money is the glue to that relationship. Have fun and try no to get hurt 😊

[Guest]

1 hour ago, CuriousSub said:

Haha, do you really want to know? I can’t tell if you are making a joke or being sarcastic. (Genuinely don’t know. )...

 

Well, I, for one, really want to know. 😃

[+ Lucky]

I see nothing to gain by naming the provider. This thread is about @CuriousSub.

[jeezifonly]

@CuriousSub

The person who delivers a first-time success is naturally going to linger in the mind, and often becomes the experience in the memory. A natural human bonding. You do seem clear that your relationship is business. 

You can either see more of him, and perhaps tighten the bond between this individual and the experience you want to recreate. Or… see if you can give other providers a chance, now that you know what to describe.
Every provider is different from one another, and the connection formed in one encounter is not an assembly line product, so even with the same provider the connection from the last meeting may not replicate itself. Since your hero is not local to you, explore those who are. If you’re meant to reunite for another sesh, it will happen. Many good teachers out there to help you expand or refine D/s activity you enjoy.

[Rudynate]

4 hours ago, CuriousSub said:

Thanks for all the replies . Logically speaking, I know the right thing to do. Right now it’s just pretty hard to switch it off instantly. Prob not suited for a one night stand for me, if I get attached so easily. 

You don't need to switch it off instantly.  Trying to switch it off is its own kind of craziness.  If the feeling is too uncomfortable, don't feed and it will fade within a few days.    You can handle anything for a few days.

[Rudynate]

1 hour ago, Lucky said:

I see nothing to gain by naming the provider. This thread is about @CuriousSub.

Of course there's something to be gained - we will know who it is and may wish to partake.  Nonetheless, @curioussub should keep the information to himself if he would rather.

[TruHart1]

So many excellent points here! I still remember my very first hire, as he opened my eyes to a world I never even knew existed before I hired him! He and I have remained good friends, keeping in touch by phone and text over the years, and yes, I still hire him whenever I get to his area, and he still knows how to rock my world when I’m lucky enough to spend time with him.

Having hired many, many excellent escorts since that amazing first experience, I’ve come to realize just how varied and diverse the available pool of working men can be. Some have become great friends from our very first session, but a number are so adept at bedroom skills that, though I wouldn’t ever call them friends per se, they have become regulars whom I always hire when they visit my area!!!

All this to say, you were lucky that your first time was special. Go back to that provider to enjoy those feelings again, yes, but do try other escorts and realize that there are many escorts out there for you to enjoy. Some may disappoint you, but you may find one with an even closer connection if you’re willing to explore! To me, this is the most rewarding hobby I’ve ever found, and my life has been enriched beyond my wildest dreams from it!!!

TruHart1 😎

[savantsav]

One thing that helps with this is, go hire another person. You'll quickly move on and realize it was just the good fun time and not really 'feelings'.

[CuriousSub]

Omg thank you guys for all the advices, they are super super helpful. Can’t really reply all of them, but really I just want to say thank you again.

Hopefully this uncomfortable feeling goes away soon as I’m tempted to feed into it, and hopefully age will bring me more wisdom, I say that bc I don’t have a lot of experience with emotions or relationships the first place as a 20 something, prob easily get confused with infatuation and brain chemicals.

Edited March 8, 2022 by CuriousSub

[tbinsocal]

My favorite Asian top recently stopped working.  I have serviced him on and off for probably 15 years.  He wasn't big but was a heavy heavy shooter.  I'll probably never find another escort like him.  It really is heartbreaking.  

[Rudynate]

8 hours ago, CuriousSub said:

Haha, do you really want to know? I can’t tell if you are making a joke or being sarcastic. (Genuinely don’t know. )

Sure I'm serious.  I might want him to rock my world too.  But don't say if you don't want to.

[marylander1940]

10 hours ago, CuriousSub said:

First time hiring an escort yesterday.

 

Besides the initial technical difficulty we almost missed each other, it was great, amazing actually.

I wanted to try some sm stuff and decided to hire someone professional, and he gave me just what I wanted. I was super nervous but he put me at ease right away. There was no orgasm involved and turned into more emotional for me instead of physical: he was hot, hung, tall, and intoxicating.

now I’m finding myself having feelings, and I don’t really know how to deal with it. Logically, I know I shouldn’t text him or have any expectations, but I can’t control that I’m starting to develop feelings, although I’m pretty sure it’s not “love”, I don’t know what it is. 
 

now I’m just rambling and I guess I’m just curious how do people have one night stand do it without getting emotionally attached? If I can’t control myself after just one encounter, I don’t think I should continue and do it again.

 

 

hire him again! 

He must be a keeper if he got such effect on you with only one encounter.

Now about your feelings... You met in a certain way, and I guarantee you he would like to keep your relationship that way. 

[marylander1940]

5 hours ago, Lucky said:

I see nothing to gain by naming the provider. This thread is about @CuriousSub.

Me neither I would take it as a recommendation by @CuriousSub about the guys looks, appeal, attitude, etc. 

Will  @CuriousSub wants to share him with us?