I feel like I may be getting conned…

[xyz48B]

I know I said I don’t pay deposits. I like to buy other things that show good faith, but I got burnt badly with deposit once (long story) so I don’t do it anymore.

That said, a new guy I’m looking to see in three weeks mentioned in texting tonight he’s stressed about cash for upcoming travel. I will be in a better position to help him come March 1. I suggested possibly giving him some money before we meet if he took it off my “bill.” But I wonder if I’m falling for a trick that will burn me.

We’ve chatted on the phone and he sounds genuine. We text, not a lot but maybe once a day 5-6 texts. He seems busy/distracted but that’s potentially his age and other factors. I don’t expect him to dedicate his day to texting me. I feel comfortable by the interaction I’ve had with him, but when I step back, I’m like…Are you falling victim again?

I generally like to be good to providers. I've found it pays in the end, and it’s also just the decent thing to do. But I also have to look out for me…

Comments, thoughts, opinions. Maybe some advice…I’m asking for it this time 😉 But please be reasonable and polite…

[jeezifonly]

Many things can happen in three weeks time, including things that could prevent either or both of you from meeting (weather? health? Emergencies with family/pets?)

My interest in The New is displaced by the frustration of deposits. They are down payments (for time)that, if not honored, will not be taken to small claims court. They only favor the provider in first-time meetings. Known providers only for me, now. I’ve already proven my reliability in prior dealings.

 

[ekoile]

For me, anything that you pay him IS part of his "bill", and might be considered a deposit/ down payment. Considered still part of the agreed total, only delivered partially in advance. 

To me, three weeks in advance seems quite far out, especially for someone who is new to that field without much of a reputation, reviews to check, a history as a provider, or someone who you haven't actually worked with before. 

5 minutes ago, jeezifonly said:

Many things can happen in three weeks time, including things that could prevent either or both of you from meeting (weather? health? Emergencies with family/pets?)

Agreed, a lot can happen in that time. 

[Lazarus]

I don’t understand why he is texting for 5 or 6 times a day. Stringing you along perhaps? 

[+ azdr0710]

and you've never met yet?...

it's always nice to be "good to providers", but you can do that at the end of your first meet......

 

 

 

 

[ekoile]

14 minutes ago, Lazarus said:

I don’t understand why he is texting for 5 or 6 times a day. Stringing you along perhaps? 

True. That seems maybe excessive for a provider. 5-6 times a day, for how many days now? Is that supposed to continue till you meet in person? Are you dating? That's a serious question, because unless it's a very elaborate session of time together that's being constructed and discussed... what are you talking about? While it's conceivable to become friends outside of the provider/client relationship, that takes time. 

How long was he talking about his money problems before you offered? How often/emphatically did he bring it up? How personal are the topics of conversation? 

Serious question to reflect on: how emotionally invested are you getting, and is that reciprocated? I've also set up session with providers far in advance before traveling to an area, though they were long established with solid reputations. I say that because, with that provider, all communication was almost explicitly regarding our time together and details regarding that. Is that the case with you currently?

[+ azdr0710]

I think the OP meant one round of texting a day with five or six individual messages per.......

[Gymowner]

You offered to pay money upfront? You text him 5 or 6 times daily? You have never met? Seems to me in all due respect you are looking more for a hot friend and willing to break many rules to get there.

Happens to many on here. And then people wonder how they get conned. Hmmmm.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Oy.

[+ goosh69]

1 hour ago, xyz48B said:

I know I said I don’t pay deposits. I like to buy other things that show good faith, but I got burnt badly with deposit once (long story) so I don’t do it anymore.

That said, a new guy I’m looking to see in three weeks mentioned in texting tonight he’s stressed about cash for upcoming travel. I will be in a better position to help him come March 1. I suggested possibly giving him some money before we meet if he took it off my “bill.” But I wonder if I’m falling for a trick that will burn me.

We’ve chatted on the phone and he sounds genuine. We text, not a lot but maybe once a day 5-6 texts. He seems busy/distracted but that’s potentially his age and other factors. I don’t expect him to dedicate his day to texting me. I feel comfortable by the interaction I’ve had with him, but when I step back, I’m like…Are you falling victim again?

I generally like to be good to providers. I've found it pays in the end, and it’s also just the decent thing to do. But I also have to look out for me…

Comments, thoughts, opinions. Maybe some advice…I’m asking for it this time 😉 But please be reasonable and polite…

I cannot even believe this post. Yes, you’re being conned.

[+ tassojunior]

Payment in advance is a great way to never see someone. I'd never let it be "part of the fee". 

[Alex93108]

1 hour ago, goosh69 said:

I cannot even believe this post. Yes, you’re being conned.

 

This happened to me personally right around March 2020 . I was making my way back from London ( again ) and around that time the UK was still very much open but not closed ( pre lockdown)  . I was more concerned with flights getting canceled and my ability to get it back to the US.  One of my favorite flights to take was Air New Zealand’s London Heathrow to Los Angeles  that flight got cancelled and every single flight I tried to put myself on was either canceled or completely full ( on all the carriers) to most major cities in the US. Awful times . There were rumors that Trump was going to shut the border and everyone was scrambling . 

 ( Little did I know the next time I would be back in the UK would be August 2021 , a more than 1 year hiatus ) 

I did eventually make it back stateside . Anyway 

 

Amidst this chaos, some providers hit me up for request$ , around  that time . I turned most down but I fell for this one guy that hit me up for playstation credits - I genuinely thought this covid thing would be done is two weeks, and we would take it off the bill .  He was a gamer , and I felt sorry for him ( I’m a gamer as well sort of) 

Playstation credits can easily be converted to cash 

You only need to make that mistake once . 

Bottom line is , you are not a bank, charity or foundation - you are a client , act like one 

 

Edited February 18, 2022 by jetlow

[acks01]

I'm of the mind that everything involving providers is a business transaction. I don't ever fool myself into thinking I'm friends or anything more with them because well, I don't hire my friends for any of their professional services either. That's not to say you can't be friendly with an escort, but I can't see myself texting daily with an escort because again, I don't even do that with friends.

I personally find it a bit distasteful to ask someone I haven't even met for cash. That's not the kind of person I would generally want to involve myself with.

[+ nycman]

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I know I said I don’t pay deposits.

Good.

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I got burnt badly with deposit once (long story) so I don’t do it anymore.

Good.

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

That said…

And we’re off…..

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

a new guy I’m looking to see in three weeks

That’s about 10 years away in "escort time"….just FYI.

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

he’s stressed about cash

Who didn’t see this coming?

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I suggested possibly giving him some money before we meet if he took it off my “bill.”

You’re smarter than this…..don’t a moron

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I wonder if I’m falling for a trick that will burn me.

You are. Next question. 

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

he sounds genuine

All con artists "sound genuine". Again, just FYI. 

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

He seems busy/distracted

He is. He’s working 10 other John’s with the same scam and it’s hard work keeping all the lies straight. 

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

but that’s potentially his age and other factors

You’re making excuses for him. "Molly, you in danger girl." 

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

but when I step back, I’m like…Are you falling victim again?

You are. Just keep stepping back. You’ll get the picture….eventually

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I generally like to be good to providers.

There’s "being good" and there’s "being stupid". You are currently in the latter camp. "Snap out of it."

3 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I’m asking for it

You got it. 

Edited February 18, 2022 by nycman

[rvwnsd]

2 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I know I said I don’t pay deposits. I like to buy other things that show good faith, but I got burnt badly with deposit once (long story) so I don’t do it anymore.

That said, a new guy I’m looking to see in three weeks mentioned in texting tonight he’s stressed about cash for upcoming travel.

Prefacing this by saying I don't go looking for red flags and many things that are red flags for others are not red flags for me. This, however, is a huge red flag. In fact, it is more than a red flag. It screams "He is grooming you to give him money that you will never see again."

2 hours ago, xyz48B said:

...I will be in a better position to help him come March 1. I suggested possibly giving him some money before we meet if he took it off my “bill.” But I wonder if I’m falling for a trick that will burn me...

You are falling for a trick that will burn you. Don't do it!

 

2 hours ago, xyz48B said:

...We’ve chatted on the phone and he sounds genuine. We text, not a lot but maybe once a day 5-6 texts...

I understand how easy it is to get sucked into texting on a regular basis. To me, it is a very bad sign. 

2 hours ago, xyz48B said:

...He seems busy/distracted but that’s potentially his age and other factors. I don’t expect him to dedicate his day to texting me. I feel comfortable by the interaction I’ve had with him, but when I step back, I’m like…Are you falling victim again?

A couple of things

1. If he seems busy/distracted, then he is. Hard as it may be, try laying off the texts for a couple of days. 
2. IMO, the answer to the question "Are you falling victim again?" is "Yes."

2 hours ago, xyz48B said:

...I generally like to be good to providers. I've found it pays in the end, and it’s also just the decent thing to do. But I also have to look out for me…

In my world, "being good to a provider" means "buying him a gift card as a token" or " driving him home from a playdate when his car is in the shop." It doesn't mean giving him money in advance of a date.

2 hours ago, xyz48B said:

...Comments, thoughts, opinions. Maybe some advice…I’m asking for it this time 😉 But please be reasonable and polite…

I applaud your desire to be nice and do a favor for this guy. That's very kind. It is also very risky. My advice is to 1) abandon the idea of giving him money in advance and 2) stop texting with him every day. You mentioned he seemed distracted (although sufficiently engaged to mention money problems). To me, the reason for texting or talking with someone is to develop a sense of engagement. I just don't see how you can develop that with someone who isn't engaged. 

It might be time to find someone else and let this guy ride off into the sunset.

 

[RadioRob]

Keep this simple and keep it simply as business. You’re thinking with the wrong head. 

Replay the scenario but this time with a random person cutting your lawn or providing some other service. Would you still do it?  Especially given that you don’t really know him…

[+ purplekow]

General rule.  If you think you are being conned, you have already been conned.  Limit the damage.  

[DBWEHO]

OMG, YES you are being conned. 

[Jeffster]

5 hours ago, xyz48B said:

I know I said I don’t pay deposits. I like to buy other things that show good faith, but I got burnt badly with deposit once (long story) so I don’t do it anymore.

That said, a new guy I’m looking to see in three weeks mentioned in texting tonight he’s stressed about cash for upcoming travel. I will be in a better position to help him come March 1. I suggested possibly giving him some money before we meet if he took it off my “bill.” But I wonder if I’m falling for a trick that will burn me.

We’ve chatted on the phone and he sounds genuine. We text, not a lot but maybe once a day 5-6 texts. He seems busy/distracted but that’s potentially his age and other factors. I don’t expect him to dedicate his day to texting me. I feel comfortable by the interaction I’ve had with him, but when I step back, I’m like…Are you falling victim again?

I generally like to be good to providers. I've found it pays in the end, and it’s also just the decent thing to do. But I also have to look out for me…

Comments, thoughts, opinions. Maybe some advice…I’m asking for it this time 😉 But please be reasonable and polite…

[+ glutes]

I feel like I may be getting conned…

God gave you intuition, use it.

[xyz48B]

Thanks for the feedback. It puts things in perspective. Sometimes it’s good to have it reiterated…

[Todd Jenkins]

11 hours ago, xyz48B said:

We text, not a lot but maybe once a day 5-6 texts

This is such a great indicator that we are ALL different – see, to me, this is a LOT. I mean, my best FRIENDS don't text me 5-6 X a day unless we are getting plans together. 

[+ azdr0710]

10 hours ago, azdr0710 said:

I think the OP meant one round of texting a day with five or six individual messages per.......

 

[xyz48B]

1 hour ago, Todd Jenkins said:

This is such a great indicator that we are ALL different – see, to me, this is a LOT. I mean, my best FRIENDS don't text me 5-6 X a day unless we are getting plans together. 

You and I wouldn’t be *best* friends then. Personality. To me, friends, especially best friends, communicate. A lot. 

[studchaser]

I dont think its always bad to pay a deposit in advance. If an escort wants to travel to another city it is reassuring for them to know they will have some reliable support.

 

I say 100 dollars that will be applied to your total should suffice. Make sure that it is clear what the money is intended for and ask beforehand what the providers intends to do with deposit should trip be cancelled or postponed. The client should however be prepared to not see that money again. Stay away from gifts until you meet the provider and dont get wrapped up in their financial drama. Escorts who do good biz can make money very quickly and one way to do that is by making the sessions an escape and not a burden.