Why I’m not hiring again.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

10 hours ago, goosh69 said:

Sometimes the providers still are in shape or what not but look meaningfully different in other ways. For example, the pictures are of someone smooth chested,  clean cut, with a coiffed pompadour  with lots of hair product, and the guy who shows up has piercings, tattoos, and a shaved head BUT a hairy chest (this happens to me A LOT.)

I’ve turned guys away at the door for not looking like their pictures  many times and warned them advance that I would do so. Like I SPECIFICALLY use the above examples. I don’t care if you or your friends think your new look is better- it’s not what has pictured or discussed. And still the guys think they can show up not looking like what’s advertised.

It sounds like you did not have the courage to say “no” before the sessions began.

I'm not interested in "yucking your yum", but I see hiring an escort as hiring a person. So they may look a little different. But I've never experienced a guy with clean cut pictures showing up looking like a punk. When I reach out I'm looking for hints at their personality. I often send a photo and ask for a recent one. 

If people are having these experiences, I would suggest that you ask to FaceTime or some other way of confirming appearance before you confirm the appointment. 

[+ goosh69]

19 hours ago, needbodywork said:

This is very common in my experience too. Different hairstyles, or amount of body/facial hair. A guy with the exact same body can go from super hot to not attractive at all to me based on his hairstyle alone.

That's why I'll only meet guys if I see a very recent social media post or if I see them in person somewhere.

Another one is NOT natural blonds showing him with bleached blond hair. No. 

 

10 hours ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I'm not interested in "yucking your yum", but I see hiring an escort as hiring a person. So they may look a little different. But I've never experienced a guy with clean cut pictures showing up looking like a punk. When I reach out I'm looking for hints at their personality. I often send a photo and ask for a recent one. 

If people are having these experiences, I would suggest that you ask to FaceTime or some other way of confirming appearance before you confirm the appointment. 

FaceTime didn’t exist in the 90s. But it’s a good idea. And my example was just one of many I can think of over the years.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

On 1/24/2022 at 2:38 PM, Andie40 said:

Before I begin, I want to say that these are my opinions based on personal experiences. After 10 years of hiring men, I can say that I’m totally giving up on it. I’m in my 30’s, so I guess I’m a little pickier, but of the 100+ men I’ve hired over the years, I can honestly only think of 3-4 that were actually worth it. Most of the time, the guy does not look nearly as good as his pictures ( not as muscular, older than advertised, different body pics used, etc.). Most of these guys I could likely meet for free. Somewhere down the line, hiring men became an addiction because I’ve suffered from low self esteem most of my life and any sort of rejection would put me in a funk.   I’m realizing now that spending so much money just to avoid my fears is not helping me in the long run.
 

I feel so ashamed to have spent so much money over the years for companionship I basically could have received for free had I stuck to a workout routine. 

I will say that the worst escorts are usually the Eastern European/Russian ones or the South American ones. They’re usually the rudest and more likely to have misleading pictures/ show disinterest.

I don’t mean to offend anyone with my post. They’re my experiences and options.

 

This isn't an airport.  You don't have to announce your departure.

[+ purplekow]

5 hours ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

 

This isn't an airport.  You don't have to announce your departure.

More like waving good bye.  Nothing wrong with it but usually best if the people on the other side care that you are leaving.  

That said, it does raise the issue as to when and if one should stop hiring.  If one Is bored with the men one is hiring and finds that they do not live up to expectations, perhaps it is the men but more likely it is in the vetting the process.  If you choose to stop hiring, work on your interactive skills and put yourself out on the market to meet someone in the more traditional way. A great body may get you a second look and a role in the hay, but ultimately it is your people skills which will keep someone around for the long haul.    Of course, you can do both.   Work on you and work on your vetting skills.  Those skills may well help you out in the traditional arenas as well.  

Edited January 26, 2022 by purplekow

[+ JEC]

@purplekow agree with this entirely.   My luck was only this bad when I first started and got better as I got better with screening my hires.  Now, I rarely get a "miss".

[Cliff]

1 hour ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

 

This isn't an airport.  You don't have to announce your departure.

Dude, that is an extremely rude comment. What the fuck, man. 

[BSR]

1 hour ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

 

This isn't an airport.  You don't have to announce your departure.

Honestly, I also found this comment to be rude, as well as unnecessarily nasty.  I'm glad that @Andie40 felt comfortable sharing his experience because I found both his account and the discussion it sparked interesting.  If this comment was meant as a joke, it bombed.

PS:  I'm going to take a piss now.  Oh, maybe I didn't need to announce that.

Edited January 26, 2022 by BSR
Added PS

[KeepItReal]

1 hour ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

 

This isn't an airport.  You don't have to announce your departure.

 

32 minutes ago, Cliff said:

Dude, that is an extremely rude comment. What the fuck, man. 

 

Have to disagree.  It is certainly right there on the edge of snarky but not rude in my book.  I tend to roll out the snark quite a bit myself, so maybe that is why I find the comment funny. 🤷‍♂️

[KeepItReal]

4 minutes ago, BSR said:

Honestly, I also found this comment to be rude, as well as unnecessarily nasty.  I'm glad that @Andie40 felt comfortable sharing his experience because I found both his account and the discussion it sparked interesting.  If this comment was meant as a joke, it bombed.

PS:  I'm going to take a piss now.  Oh, maybe I didn't need to announce that.

Just don't miss!

[Alex93108]

Just curious, where are you located? And where are you hiring primarily?

And what kind of men are you attracted to/ hire?

This greatly affects the quality of talent.  My experience is very global - so I speak from experience.

After a few mishaps I only hire providers that cum recommended certainly in New York and London where its not exactly cheap ( at $350/ £200-300 ) And even then its not always consistent.  If not do deep research - to ensure quality. 

That said I have had hits in other places, including some fantastic providers who are true gems. 

I think you need to screen your hires better or change your approach. There are plenty of pros here that can guide you. 

Edited January 26, 2022 by jetlow

[D21howie]

Good afternoon.  I agree with a lot people on here.  Do not be afraid that you hire a few escorts in your past.  I started hiring escorts over ten years ago and I will say I have been lucky with the ones I have used over and over.  I also had a few duds that remind me of the Hee Haw Donkey.  The reason I started hiring was not because of low self esteem.  I did because curiosity got the best of me.  I am glad I decided to hire.  Actually I have become close with a few of them and send them cards for the holidays. Everytime an event comes up I contact them first to see if I can reserve the date.  Usually I get a yes.

 

I remember one time I used two escorts for a weekend trip to Las Vegas the weekend before Thanksgiving.  We were in the car and they handed me an envelope saying this was my Christmas gift.  I told them I will open it up at Christmas.  They said no open it now.  I did and these guys bought me a $150 gift card to get a pair of cowboy boots.  I bought a nice pair of boots with the card.  I still cherish that memory till this day.

[Alex93108]

On 1/24/2022 at 3:38 PM, Andie40 said:

 

I will say that the worst escorts are usually the Eastern European/Russian ones or the South American ones. They’re usually the rudest and more likely to have misleading pictures/ show disinterest.

I don’t mean to offend anyone with my post. They’re my experiences and options.

 

 

 

I could not disagree more. Those are the exact kind of men Jetlow lives for and dreams about !!!

( though its helpful if they speak/understand English, fluently….) 

Dude -  @Andie40 it sounds like you need to hire @Jarrod_Uncut !   . If those the Eastern Europeans/Russians/South Americans  don't rock your boat a little chocolate love never hurt anyone…..

I hope you find what you are looking for. 

Edited January 26, 2022 by jetlow

[Xavitv]

1 hour ago, KeepItReal said:

 

 

Have to disagree.  It is certainly right there on the edge of snarky but not rude in my book.  I tend to roll out the snark quite a bit myself, so maybe that is why I find the comment funny. 🤷‍♂️

I thought it was funny too lol extremely rude was a reach 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

3 hours ago, Cliff said:

Dude, that is an extremely rude comment. What the fuck, man. 

You say extremely rude. 

I say pithy. 

Let's meet somewhere in the middle.

[+ stevenkesslar]

6 hours ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

This isn't an airport.  You don't have to announce your departure.

Roll with it Benjamin.  He's announcing a significant change in itinerary.

Surely you've had one of those encounters with personnel at an airport where you needed to change a flight.

We're supposed to be the nice guys who are accommodating and supportive.  Not the assholes who say, "Sorry, sir.  You'll have to pay a penalty."

Although, you being the sweet and sexy guy that you are, you could play the role of the dashing flight attendant who gives the OP a few free cocktails to feel better.  And then takes him into the bathroom and fucks him.  Which might actually be a nice way for a guy to say bon voyage to the world of hiring.  😉

Wheels up!

Edited January 26, 2022 by stevenkesslar

[Leyte2019]

25 minutes ago, stevenkesslar said:

Although, you being the sweet and sexy guy that you are, you could play the role of the dashing flight attendant who gives the OP a few free cocktails to feel better.  And then takes him into the bathroom and fucks him.  Which might actually be a nice way for a guy to say bon voyage to the world of hiring.  

Wheels up!

Have you been watching 80s porn again, @stevenkesslar ?

[+ stevenkesslar]

2 hours ago, Leyte2019 said:

Have you been watching 80s porn again, @stevenkesslar ?

Of course.  Although I like orgies.  So I have men from every decade on my hard drive.  It's more fun that way.

90s porn is probably what got me into escorting.  I actually can recall jacking off to an an escort ad of Steve Fox.  No picture of him, although I of course thought he was gorgeous.  Just text.  Like I said in my post, the allure was almost irresistible.  I bring up Steve Fox, who committed suicide in 1997, for a reason.  The only truly sad thing about giving in to whims and fantasies is if you don't make it through to the other side.  If you live and learn, like the OP, I obviously feel you have nothing to regret.

Speaking of films, I'll add a story about the film Maurice.  The male leads were not in a porn movie.  But they should have been.  I took these comments out of my earlier post because I was afraid of the brevity police.  And if you haven't seen the film and don't want a spoiler, don't read the rest of this post.

I had a poignant discussion about the film years ago with someone who has already posted on this thread.  He was talking about how sad it was at the end of the film when Hugh Grant's closeted Gay man was symbolically closing the shutters in his bedroom.  Right after he told his never-had-real-sex-with college platonic love, Maurice, that it was disgusting that he was running off to Italy or somewhere with the man of his dreams. 

Poor Hugh never even got his first Gay blowjob.  Even if that is all you got from an escort, there's something to be said for that.

I said I didn't find the ending sad at all.  The character Grant played was a rich man living in a huge mansion.  And inside the bedroom he was shuttering up was a beautiful woman - his wife - who loved him.  What's sad about that?  Two men made different choices.  Both of which caused deep emotional turmoil.  Both did what they felt they needed to do. As long as there are situations like this, escorts will be in business. 

To end with the airport analogy, there's no way to go through the journey without experiencing turbulence.  Hopefully, at a minimum, you got memorable blowjobs and were well fucked along the way.  For more information on that, consult my hard drive.

Or ask Darius and Mario.  (There's a great line in there.  "Why don't we go outside so I can fuck you properly?")

https://www.playvids.com/de/v/GjEjnO8xipI

(Sorry.  I could only find airplane porn from this century.)

Edited January 26, 2022 by stevenkesslar

[Leyte2019]

3 hours ago, stevenkesslar said:

Of course.  Although I like orgies.  So I have men from every decade on my hard drive.  It's more fun that way.

90s porn is probably what got me into escorting.  I actually can recall jacking off to an an escort ad of Steve Fox.  No picture of him, although I of course thought he was gorgeous.  Just text.  Like I said in my post, the allure was almost irresistible.  I bring up Steve Fox, who committed suicide in 1997, for a reason.  The only truly sad thing about giving in to whims and fantasies is if you don't make it through to the other side.  If you live and learn, like the OP, I obviously feel you have nothing to regret.

Speaking of films, I'll add a story about the film Maurice.  The male leads were not in a porn movie.  But they should have been.  I took these comments out of my earlier post because I was afraid of the brevity police.  And if you haven't seen the film and don't want a spoiler, don't read the rest of this post.

I had a poignant discussion about the film years ago with someone who has already posted on this thread.  He was talking about how sad it was at the end of the film when Hugh Grant's closeted Gay man was symbolically closing the shutters in his bedroom.  Right after he told his never-had-real-sex-with college platonic love, Maurice, that it was disgusting that he was running off to Italy or somewhere with the man of his dreams. 

Poor Hugh never even got his first Gay blowjob.  Even if that is all you got from an escort, there's something to be said for that.

I said I didn't find the ending sad at all.  The character Grant played was a rich man living in a huge mansion.  And inside the bedroom he was shuttering up was a beautiful woman - his wife - who loved him.  What's sad about that?  Two men made different choices.  Both of which caused deep emotional turmoil.  Both did what they felt they needed to do. As long as there are situations like this, escorts will be in business. 

To end with the airport analogy, there's no way to go through the journey without experiencing turbulence.  Hopefully, at a minimum, you got memorable blowjobs and were well fucked along the way.  For more information on that, consult my hard drive.

Or ask Darius and Mario.  (There's a great line in there.  "Why don't we go outside so I can fuck you properly?")

https://www.playvids.com/de/v/GjEjnO8xipI

(Sorry.  I could only find airplane porn from this century.)

Well said. I've certainly experienced turmoil in my 7 or so years of hiring (psssst...there was an inseparable habit that went along with the hiring until 2 years ago. I wish I could explain further, but, you know...it accounted for most of the turmoil)

And I have always related to Maurice because of the high school and college experiences I had).  But we do not regret the past.

[Alex93108]

11 hours ago, stevenkesslar said:

 

Or ask Darius and Mario.  (There's a great line in there.  "Why don't we go outside so I can fuck you properly?")

https://www.playvids.com/de/v/GjEjnO8xipI

(Sorry.  I could only find airplane porn from this century.)

AIRPLANE PORN!!!! 

I love the heading is set to 000, Speed 100 knots - ya think they would try to make it just a bit more realistic ? I. The Autopilot isn't even switched on.  I suppose that's not the point 

Edited January 26, 2022 by jetlow

[+ goosh69]

Some of these longer posts seem….ummm…unfocused.

[jeezifonly]

“The willingness to walk away is gifted to everyone, but exercised almost exclusively by the young”

Good for you, @Andie40

 

 

[pubic_assistance]

An old saying :

If you can't find what you fancy.....fancy what you find.

Maybe some realistic expectations and more focus on personality than looks will make you happier in the long run.

People hire fantasies.

Real life isn't always as pretty ..but its more fulfilling

 

[MmM]

People hire for different reasons. Know why you are doing it and assess if it's healthy for you. I don't go to Grindr searching for a life partner (though it's been known to happen). I don't hire to be validated, but to explore my sexuality, which would otherwise take forever if I simply stick to the hookup apps. I can fortunately also meet people who I consider to be out of my league, physically. (Thank goodness for those beauties that make themselves available in this manner. ) I have a strong appetite for sex and that's just human nature. 

[Bacon]

I've had a few duds too, but my overall good experiences exceed the bad. I'll continue to hire to add variety to my sex life without a lot of waisted effort on Grindr/Scruff or in bars picking up guys. It's so much easier when its on my schedule (even with the flakes). This forum improves the odds of a satisfactory experience. And of course every now and again I find that one guy that makes me want to sell the house, cash in the 401K and run away with him. Not that I would, but the feeling is nice. 

[CaliMuscle]

Man when you put it all into perspective like that, makes me think the same way. 

Started hiring during the pandemic since I was lonely and wanted to have fun and they look better than me but I'm still working on growth and my own self-esteem. 

Thanks for sharing and I understand how you feel. It definitely is an addition to avoid rejection.